Calling all TNs

Jenjenl - I am so sorry you are having to go through this. I think you will feel much more comfortable with it, after you have one treatment behind you. The fear will lessen as well. Try to keep yourself busy... and stop in as often as you need to. We're all here holding your hand. Enjoy those little ones!

breathe jenjenl...we understand.  chemo is scary until you get that first one done!  You can do it!!  Just follow your docs advice and the advice of these fine ladies.  Ask anything you need to know..someone will post and join a thread here for other ladies starting chemo too...you can really compare notes that way.  best wishes to you and we will be there with yo every step

Little Angels
When God calls little children
to dwell with Him above.
We mortals sometimes question
the wisdom of His love.
for no heartache compares with
the death of one small child,
who does so much to make our world
seem wonderful and mild.
Perhaps God tires of calling
the aged to His fold.
So He picks a rosebud
before it can grow old.
God knows how much we need them
and so He takes but few,
to make the land of Heaven
more beautiful to view.
Believing this is difficult
still somehow we must try.
The saddest word mankind know 
will always be "Goodbye".
So when a child departs
we who are left behind,
must realize God loves children,
Angels are hard to find.
~Author Unknown

Englishrose, I did Taxotere and suffered with joint pain and stiffness for months.  This gradually went away.  But on the whole, I think it takes about a year for the body to begin to feel "normal" again.  And as for the mind and soul sometimes it takes longer!  It has been 3 years since my last chemo tx.  I am feeling good but have had to change up my routine and admit that i am also 3 years older.....the mind says yes to things and the body says "are you crazy?"

Wishing everyone a peaceful day.  Welcome to the new girls.  Come here often.  We have lots of intelligent and funny girls here.

Bernie...your poem is beautiful. I've been up since 3..steroids ...and just can't stop thinking of those kids. So sad! I can't be down about myself right now when that tragedy has happened to all those people.

Jenjenl - I hope you are feeling better soon. Give yourself time love. I see you were just dx at the end of Oct. You will find your "new normal" - but it is going to take some time. Holding your hand...

Jenjenl-My pathology from biopsy (community hospital) also indicated er+ by 75%. Pathology from lumpectomy (major university hospital) showed TN. Because of the discrepancy, I requested Oncotype test, which confirmed my TN status. It was an extremely stressful time for me, as I went from thinking I was looking at surgery, radiation, and tamoxifen for five years to surgery, chemo, and now considering the bmx following chemo, as I am BRCA+ and want to limit my risk of another TN breast reccurrence. I will tell you that the anticipation is much worse than the treatment itself. I completed my third round of TC yesterday and only have one left to go. I have tolerated it very well with minimal and tolerable side effects. You will do just fine and the ladies on this board all here to support you!

Tlym (and others) Thanks for the information and support.  We have very similar dx, except I am BRCA1 damn it Good news is all is well for now with my other lady parts but they are going ba-bye in 2013.

I am having a cocktail of Adriamycin, Cytoxan and Taxotere. 

Now I regret not having lefty removed when I removed righty but the plan was always to remove lefty once I was done with chemo to assist with recon (drs advise, focus on critical path - prior to knowing I was TN and BRCA1+).  So fearful of everything, every ache and pain....sigh!

Off to put my kids to bed...although it should be intersting since they are jacked up on cotton candy.

Jenjen - I had dark thoughts in the beginning and was crying every day. It got worse with the lack of sleep and the steroids. I'd walk for miles and cry. They reduced my steroids and it got better for me. It could be the meds need to be adjusted? I was crying everyday thinking about my daughter and what would happen to her if I didn't make it. I don't believe in being positive all the time but you need to fight your way out of those feelings. 

Hope - Yes, I had my surgery. I posted on the Sept 2012 thread about it. A long post. It sounds like you are going through a lot. How many more Taxol? I think I remember your surgery date, January 24th? 

Hi, My name is Anne, i am 43 yo. I was just diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carsinoma, Grad 3, no lymph node involvemen, margins were all clear, and Triple negative receptors.  I'm a week out from a lumpectomy and sentinal node biopsy. Oh and my mass was 1.6 cm.  I detected this myself.  Very scared and anxious.  Have an appoiontment tomorrow with oncology and my surgeon.  Not sure what they are going to tell me.  I do believe chemo and radiation are going to be part of the plan.  I don't think having cancer has hit me yet but I'm afraid tomorrow it will.  My best friend died of breast cancer 2 yrs ago and I know she used this site and got lots of information what other people are going through.  I'm sorry to everyone that has to go throughthis.  Cancer sucks.. I am going to stay positive and I have great support system so I am going to beat this.  Thanks for listening.

If a shop assistant in Toys R Us or similar tells you a toy is ‘easy to assemble’, that assistant is probably lying scum

Just saying: Women do not an electric toothbrush

Avoid gadgety shops unless you want to get your head spliced off by a remote control helicopter.

1. This year’s top-selling gadget gifts, by the way, are expected to be a USB carpet, night-vision socks, cheese-eating slippers, a hat that writes upside down and a toffee that is waterproof to a depth of 100 fathoms.
2. I think the waterproof ­toffee makes the best gift, as what is the point of a toffee if you can’t take it down to the sea bed without it leaking?

Women do not want any of the ­following as gifts: WD40; an outboard engine; petrol for the car; a fitness DVD; an electric toothbrush; any book with a title such as 1,000 Recipes For The Freezer; Canesten; anything from the Pyrex range.

Keep working on your story. ‘Mummy, how come Father Christmas’s reindeers can fly?’

‘Because each morning he gives them a big cup of Father Christmas’s Most Excellent Flying Juice. It is especially for reindeers who need to fly.’

Goats, bees and donkeys are nice thoughts as gifts, but hell to wrap and to keep secret. Hot-air balloons are also a problem.

 Keep the scissors and Sellotape for your sole use. If necessary, hide one in your knickers and the other in your bra.

 Plan a Christmas gift budget, then don’t look at what you have spent until April — or ever. Eat your bank statements and teach the children that game called Quick, Quick, Let’s Hide From The Bailiffs!

Why not spare yourself the tiring agony of producing a traditional Christmas dinner and offer something different for a change, such as salad?

This will make small children cry and frighten older people, but, hey, you can’t ever get through Christmas ­without upsetting someone anyway.

 Instead of just watching TV, why not play a traditional family game. The rules for Quick, Quick, Let’s Hide From The Carol Singers! are as follows: turn off lights; hide behind sofa; be very quiet; pretend to be out.

Shallots are the work of Satan. It can take a whole morning to peel one. They are not worth it. They are only tight, nasty little onions with mean and ungiving dispositions.

Try not to get competitive about cards, eyeing up how many others have received. But it’s sensible to send yourself a good number all the same.  Plus, you can send yourself charity Christmas cards, thereby proving to yourself that you are a good person, which is nice to know.

Baileys: just because it’s Christmas, it makes it all right to drink a mixture of whiskey and cream, does it? Oh, OK. I get it now. I’ll have a triple with a Tia Maria chaser, thanks.

 Should anyone ask if you’ve seen the scissors and Sellotape, it is important to say ‘No’ quite firmly.  You may wish to check that the ­scissors aren’t poking out of your bra, which will only demonstrate to others that you are a liar and the sort of woman who hides sharp implements in her smalls.

 Before attacking the shops feverishly in search of the perfect office party dress, check that you work in an office and you’ve been invited to a party. If you don’t work in an office and haven’t been invited to a party, you don’t have to attack the shops feverishly.

Never throw a party yourself. No matter how many chairs you provide, someone will sit on the edge of a low (glass) table and tip it up.

Giving your parents or any older relatives a £5 note and saying ‘Buy yourself something nice’ can offend, so up the amount to £10 (or at least £7.50).

It is important to congratulate all the children in the school Nativity play, even though yours was the best by a mile. Seriously, has there ever been such a brilliant sheep?

Keep working on your story. ‘Mummy, is Father Christmas really Daddy?’

Don’t be silly. When has Daddy ever done anything useful round here?’

 A copy of The Times dated the day someone was born makes a thoughtful gift. But, failing that, you could opt for a copy of yesterday’s Times with the date crossed off and ‘September 17, 1932’, for instance, ­written on it instead.  This is not only a far cheaper option, but is also a good gift for an elderly relative in a care home who has no idea who they are or what day it is.

 Bread sauce was invented by the Let’s Dream Up Things For Women To Do Society, founded in 1792 to dream up things for women to do. Bread sauce is, therefore, wholly unnecessary, as well as really quite horrible.

Request the Christmas Day shift at work. If you are refused, beg. If you are refused again, turn up for work anyhow. This will make you the Christmas martyr, and everyone knows martyrs don’t have to shop, cook or clean up.

Just because you feel you ought to invite your mother-in-law, it doesn’t mean you have to let her in.

 If an assistant in PC World or similar says: ‘Yes, it’s easy to set up; it’s just plug-in-and-play,’ they are probably lying scum. You may kick them.

 Beware the tombola at the school Christmas fair because there is every chance you will win back that nasty vase you donated, having won it the previous Christmas.

Also, approach the school fair ­Santa with some apprehension and expect tearful complaints afterwards, along the lines of: ‘But it wasn’t Father Christmas. It was Christopher’s Dad!’ 

 The Argos catalogue is an ­excellent place to start your shopping because it features more than 30,000 products — except the one you want, which is out of stock. How does that work exactly?

Gift tokens may seem like a cop-out, but after driving around Brent Cross for four days trying to park and six days trailing around the shops trying not to cry, you’ll be amazed at how sexy and on-trend they suddenly seem.

 Keep working on that story, even though your energy may be on the wane.

‘Mummy, how does Father Christmas get into houses without chimneys?’

‘Through the hole in my wallet where my money used to be, I expect.’

If you have done nothing yet about Christmas and are in denial, have a triple Baileys with a Tia Maria chaser. You’ll be amazed by how little you care

If your husband’s idea of a gift is to wrap up the kettle at the last minute (‘How thoughtful: our kettle!’) it is only fair that you give him the cheese-grater in return. ­Alternatively, you could give him the finger, which is cost-effective and extremely satisfying.

 You do not have to keep up with the Joneses when it comes to Christmas trees and lights. It is ­perfectly fine to keep things tatty and half-hearted in the hope you will eventually drag them down to your level.

 ’Tis the season to be jolly, so, of course, you are going to feel depressed. Accept it and move on.

 Stop working on that story. ‘Mummy, how does Father Christmas get round all the houses in one night?’

‘That’s a good question. Though, first, let me ask you this. Isn’t there anything on telly?’

 Brandy butter was also invented by the Let’s Dream Up Things For Women To Do Society (see bread sauce, above), as was wrapping bacon around fiddly ­little sausages. Cranberry sauce is OK, and at least you’ve had that same jar on the go since 1952.

That toffee is still the perfect present.

 If you have done nothing yet about Christmas and are in denial, have a triple Baileys with a Tia Maria chaser. You’ll be amazed by how little you care.

Obviously, you want to arrive early so as to bag rooms before your sister arrives. Tell your sister you’re arriving on the 24th. Drive up on the night of the 23rd.

Bring earplugs, holly and manners. A good idea is to wash up immediately after arriving. Everyone will say: “Oh, no, you really shouldn’t.” For the rest of the visit, heed their advice. A good ruse is to be the one who befriends the aged relative. When in doubt, sit on the sofa and nod.

Just accept it: all mums are insane throughout Christmas. There’s little you can do. Peel potatoes. Keep smiling. Ply with drink.

Steel yourself for siblings. You’ve not talked in a year; suddenly, you’re sharing a lilo on the floor.

Go to bed early and don’t make festive innuendos such as “I’ve got to stuff the turkey”, or “I’d better get to bed. Later, I’m coming down the chimney”.

You’ll be under surveillance from mums determined that everyone should have fun. At all times wear a smile, a festive hat and the ugliest and most garish present you’ve been given.

Remember to enjoy yourself. If you don’t, someone will attack. ’Tis the season to be jolly. And if you can’t be jolly, get drunk.

 Should a sexual encounter come your way at Christmas time, remove scissors and Sellotape from pants and bra. Or don’t if you want to give them a night they will truly remember.

 Lastly, if the going gets tough, just repeat this special Nativity prayer: ‘Forgive us our Christmases just as we forgive those who Christmas against us.’ It makes no sense whatsoever, but it is still strangely soothing.

Bernie - I Needed the tape in the knickers suggestion! Where the hell, does that stuff get off too?



Russell33- welcome! So sorry for the loss of your friend. You will feel so much more in control, when you have a treatment plan. Please let us know if you have any questions. The thing I like about support groups, is the very practical advice. You can also let your hair down here - vent, rant or be just be silly.

Thank you OBXK.

Mermaid...I'm so sorry to hear your news! Please know you can vent, cuss, cry here with us. I do know there are many people on these threads like OBXK said that have lived with bone mets for a long time and are doing well. Please keep us posted and know your in my prayers!



Erin

Can you hear the screaming in my head?? Just kidding. Not really.