Fuzzy's Romp Room

Thanks Gail. I'm not doing stuff all the time. It is just that Hurricane Sandy caused some damage to my house. I had to get some pro's in to repair the drywall in the living room on the ceiling and the wall around the window. Since I don't have much money, I opted to paint it myself. It has been quite an undertaking. Anyway, I had already removed some of the wallpaper from the kitchen with the plan of painting it, so that meant doing the whole downstairs: ceiling, walls, and trim. I'm a lousy painter too. So I got the ceiling paint and the primer up and have called it quits. To hell with color. It's all white, primer white, and that's just the way it is. I had to get it done because living with the chaos of cans of paint and furniture out of place was just too stressful. Now, I only need to paint the trim, and I don't mind that part. (Yeah, I say that NOW. LOL) Anyway, generally, I don't mind the detail work. It's the big spaces with the roller that intimidate me.

I won't get anything done tomorrow. I can't sleep. I have a 9:45 with the breast plastic surgeon and then a 2 pm with my new nurse practitioner shrink. I'm getting frustrated enough that I might get up and drink some apple cider. Normally, I would take a xanax, but I really hit them hard yesterday. I better not.

I wish Fuzzy would come here and post. I don't have her facebook account anymore, since I went psychotic and blasted the world, especially my neighborhood and so-called friends, and then decided I was no longer Charlene Clark, but rather Blues Jakket. I deleted my facebook account and created a new identity, one that I hope to be more positive. Still, politics keeps sneaking in there. Anyway, I just feel like I am not the same person I was before bc. I think a lot, if not all, of us feel that way. Unfortunately, I did not carry on gracefully. I went all cry baby and fruit cake. I became like Bob in "What About Bob" going "I need I need I need." It was really quite pathetic. Even more pathetic was the total lack of response I received from my neighbors and so-called friends. That is what pushed me into the psychotic soup. Fortunately, I seem to have dragged myself out of it, thanks to my mom mostly. Imagine my surprise when I went to my breast cancer support group a couple weeks ago and told them how I had nearly downed a bottle of pills and then another girl spoke up and said she had been admitted for a 72 hour suicide watch since our last meeting. Yup. And as in most cases with us bc survivors, it seems to happen after tx has ended. First we fight to survive, then we are on suicide watch. Interesting phenomena.

I had a good 8 hours sleep last night. I took an ativan and watched some tv. I waited for my eyes to get really heavy. I woke up planning dinner. A good sign. I can focus on something rather that me. Tonight I have game night with some friends. Tomorrow I have been invited out to dinner with the girls. The sun is out. I'm drinking my second big glass of water. I think I have come out of the darkness.

I'm still worried about Fuzzy. I feel much better when we hear from her and she is home with her furry friend.

I have facebook and couldn't find Fuzzy.

I had my guys make breakfast. It turned iinto brunch. Homemade pancakes and sausage. Now we are back to our usual "pick on each other" tomrment. NO sympathies for mom. Maybe one more good deed...I hear coffee dripping.

Sas- Where are you? I guess Fuzzy's Romp Room takes on new meaning these days.

good luck on your check SAS

Veggy......yeah the sun comes out...Im so happy that you turned the corner.

I want to see your face!!!!!!!!!I keep tellin you that......

Fuzzy....prayin for you.

Ill be back

Thank everyone. Sunbeams peeked in on me between the clouds.

Its off to game night now.

Good night Romper Room.

No news on Fuzzy?Im really starting to worry.....grannydukes tries to look out for her peeps.

Val------good day.....enjoy it!!!!!!1

huggggggggs everyone...prayers too

DUNES, I really got into reading about how come you is a flurry of activity, etc. I find you so amusing, but I also KNOWS you is a struggle buggle.  I laffed about your nipple dilemma.  Hmmmm.  To make the boob normal or partway normal?  Well, I CAN tell you this, I did not get reconstruction, I look ridiciulous, but I'm used to it now and DO NOT CARE. Therefore, I CAN make a suggestion.  Maybe you can find one of those sexed-up twirly things you put on the ends there.  It might give you an idea how it will look.  Or you can put some makeup on there and use eyebrow pencil to sort of make it look real if you squint your eyes.  SMILE.

DELILAH, I had a CT of shoulder to pelvis and figured I'd grab one of my head later, which I did do that and I came up normal.  I cried and cried.  And oh boy, am I am in deep trouble, but I keep pushing the positive forward and I'll let the mules tromple on the rest, and I'm telling ya dah'lin, if I can just get thru the pharmacy this morning, I will become miracle maiden of the hills.

FUZZARINA, oh my dearest most beautiful sweetest, soft as a cloud, my dream... I want so much to tell you how hard things got.  As I said earlier, i wound up in the hospital earlier this week, might have been last weekend, had pneumonia and absolutel could not breathe.  Hospital no fun, had a little tiff with my folks because I don't know everything like I used to, and I just want to cry and cry and cry.  And I want to help you, cuz i knows you is in BIG trouble and I kow exactly where you are, even if you are okay now and jus signing papers, it's stilla VERY big deal to go into the stupid hospital. But since I already am with you always, even tho I cannot help, you knowo I thik of your little puppy and I become a little happier.  My dog got so excited when i got home, he stood on his head, he is really funny, growling, wanting to tear up stuff.  I think my fear is the biggest thing.  ANd I got gallons of the meds for it, but I am REALLY SCARED.  Pneumonia is like that.  I love you, dear one, my owne true sister,please come home, pleasae come home.  GG  

St. Michael, St. Gabriel, St. Raphael, be with us today as we pray on behalf of Fuzzy and all here. Protect Fuzzy and us all from whatever could cause spiritual or physical harm. Help us be faithful to Jesus and a good communicator of his divine love on behalf of Fuzzy and us all. Amen.

Prayer to St. Michael

St. Michael the Archangel, defend Fuzzy and us in the battle; be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the Devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do Thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the power of God, thrust into Hell, Satan and all the other evil spirits, who prowl about the world, seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

Prayer to St. Raphael

Blessed Saint Raphael, Archangel, We beseech thee to help Fuzzy and us in all our needs and trials of this life, as thou, through the power of God, didst restore sight and give guidance to young Tobit. We humbly seek thine aid and intercession, that Fuzzy's and our souls may be healed, our bodies protected from all ills, and that through divine grace we may be made fit to dwell in the eternal Glory of God in heaven. Amen.

Prayer to St. Gabriel

O Blessed Archangel Gabriel, we beseech thee, do thou intercede for Fuzzy and us at the throne of divine Mercy in our present necessities, that as thou didst announce to Mary the mystery of the Incarnation, so through thy prayers and patronage in heaven that Fuzzy and us all may obtain the benefits of the same, and sing the praise of God forever in the land of the living. Amen.

( say prayer once and hour for 9 hours) Blessings, sheila/sassy

I just got a message that my friend is unresponsive. So glad I saw her yesterday. She smiled and went back to sleep.

Veggy if you give me her name I will add her to the novena.           Veggy I know it's no consolation--but may be, my twin has been stage 4 since 1996. We know not the day, or time, or the moment of our demise. If we can live fully in the present and be whole in spirit even though our bodies seem to harm us. I've been in the basement with you, finding the damn stairs is hard. Ergh big hugs sweetie sassy

Oh my, Gail, that pneumonia stuff sounds pretty scary. I guess I'm having trouble focusing, but I didn't realize you were having that struggle. I hope you kicked its butt and it knows not to be harassing you anymore.

I think I'm getting sick again. I have that scratchy throat that signaled the start of my last bout with it. It was bronchitis.

The foob is screaming at me tonight. I was painting from around 9 am to around 5 pm. That's just crazy. Everything went wrong. As an example, when I unplugged the stove, the outlet just kind of crumbled apart. I mean, all I was supposed to do was apply glossy paint to the wall behind the sink, counter, and stove. Just plain, white, glossy paint. But then I felt that I needed to use up the paint I had poured into the tray, so I went all around the house looking for trim to paint. Of course, that meant putting down tape. I don't know. Somehow it took me all that time. I didn't even eat. I'm definitely swollen. I have a couple more things to paint downstairs, and I hope I have the good sense to forget about the upstairs for a good long while. And please God, if I need to paint anything else, let me have enough money to hire someone to do it!

Dunes, girl lighten up on the work. My breast and arm swelled with work--not as much as you are doing-- for 2 1/2 years seriously(but recovered each time after use limitation).  Now I've finally accepted that I can't risk a permanent situation of LE. Dunes my twin has had LE since 1997, the impact on her daily life is awful. A mosquito bite has to be treated as a major event.

Rider and Soleria how's your week going?

Rider that was such beautiful advice you gave Linda on Bonfires would you consider a cut and paste?

Gail-the bug this year bad bad bad . Granny had it and still is recovering weeks later. 3 family members are recently going through it. A friends GS in England had it. Definitely bacterial versus virus. Did you have the sore throat/sinus/ears besides the chest. My brother and friends GS --the sore throat was so bad they were drooling b/c they couldn't swallow. Wishing you an uneventful recovery. Are the falls post or pre pneumonia. If after pneumonia could be low oxygen levels affecting your stability--i.e brain works. Thanks for the kind words.                         Hmm it's always something, we need a break from the brown stuff raining on our collective heads

Luvmygoats--Fuzzy told me that you had posted something to me while I had a computer virus, couldn't find it. Is it still relevant?

Veggy  lovey a new day, turn the Christmas lights on and seasonal music and have a peaceful lovely day. Veggy I've included your dear friend in the novena.

Ptd and Mama, Granny and all Thanks re: the new fella. Definitely need prayers on this, want the relationship to work, but we are both set in certain behavior patterns. Of course the test of comprimse accelerates after going public erghhh.

Anyone doing the novena? I've started three times then screwed up the hours. On the mark now.

Veggy - Thank you so much. I have been so worried about Fuzzy. Hope you yourself are continuing to have rays of warm sunshine.

Veggy thank you for the update. I keep checking in hoping for good news for her. Hugs to you for finding that and sharing it for us.

My week has been pretty good, had new meds to go with chemo last fri and didn't feel as bad as I have been, although now started with acid indigestion which my home nurse assures me is quite common, got meds for that last night and seems to be helping.  Had an MRI Wed which seems to have messed up my body in ways i couldn't even imagine. I could not even stand up after the test was done, came home and slept for 4 hrs, and woke up still feeling like i had been run over by a truck.  Weak, sick, whole body hurt.. it was awful.  Lasted into the next day but ok now.  Last night had so much energy i was dancing around the house listening to the Barra McNeils Christmas show on tv.

Talked with the social worker at the hospital yesterday so I am ready now to send in my application for Disability, she seems to think I may not have too hard a time getting accepted.  Also she told me there may be some funds available through the hospital for other small expenses that nobody covers and I can't afford in the meantime so thats good news...all I want right now is one of those foam mattress toppers to make my bed softer so its better to lie on...she thinks they can help with that.

Got all my shopping done and everything is wrapped just need to trim parcels and put it all under the tree....Santa's coming

Tonight going with Mom and another DF to see Alight At Night... whole village lit up with Christmas Lights, horse-drawn wagon ride, hot chocolate..the whole nine yards..Pretty Excited have wanted to go for years and THIS year we are making the time to do it!

Love and hugs and Holiday wishes for everyone