In shock

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  • Dakota212
    Dakota212 Member Posts: 1,153
    edited December 2012

    Edi-

    I love the reiki masters advice also they have told my daughter to do the same thing when our life brings her down !!

    Traii-

    I always have blood work the same day???

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  • Dakota212
    Dakota212 Member Posts: 1,153
    edited December 2012

    Carla-good luck

    Keep us posted!!!

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  • bennymuffins
    bennymuffins Member Posts: 412
    edited December 2012

    Hi everyone,

    Lesleyanne, thanks for the thoughtful post. I am having another bad day today. I seem to have more bad days than good. I woke up this morning with a dull ache to my sides and stomach. I am hoping it's not a kidney infection (or worse). So far no temperature, but I sure feel weak (again, still) and nauseous. It's day 26 and I am no better than I was before. I sure envy you girls who are having relatively few side effects. I am thinking the chemo treatment is going to kill me before the cancer would have. At this rate it will be delayed AGAIN and then the oncologist said the efficacy will be compromised. Woe is me, I can't win for losing. I am tired of feeling like hell. It would be doable if I had a few good days but I really haven't.

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  • Dakota212
    Dakota212 Member Posts: 1,153
    edited December 2012

    Benny-

    When r u due to see the dr again???

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  • bennymuffins
    bennymuffins Member Posts: 412
    edited December 2012

    Tomorrow afternoon at 3:20. I have bloodwork at 2, then doc at 3:20.

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  • Dakota212
    Dakota212 Member Posts: 1,153
    edited December 2012

    Oh good!!! I feel so badly that u feel so terrible. It's not right 😞😞😞

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  • scouser47
    scouser47 Member Posts: 963
    edited December 2012

    Benny, good luck at the Doc's. Will be thinking of you.Edi  x

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  • Traii
    Traii Member Posts: 1,138
    edited December 2012

    Good Luck at the docs Benny...Thinking of you and pray that all is ok for you to have chemo.

    Edi, you still up ?

    that will be me tonight, just had my first couple of steriods this morning !!! had my bloods and can't wait for a few more hours so I can call in for my results (fingers crossed) ....can't believe this is my 3rd Taxotere, time really does fly when you're having fun....!! good night sweet lady x

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  • scouser47
    scouser47 Member Posts: 963
    edited December 2012

    Traii, sorry sweetheart posted to Benny then logged off as DH was dragging me off to bed. ( to sleep ha ha ) We could have had a natter !!

    Crossing everything that your bloods perfect. ! Will be with u tomorrow sitting on your shoulder willing everything to go well.

    Little bit of good news :-) Lisa of the baldy birds charity had results of latest CT scan yesterday and her tumours have shrunk by a third. She has six more of this lot, but has been told she should be good to take her DS and lovely partner on that dream holiday to Disney in February.Hope they can keep her around for many more years. X

    Lesleyann, your post was really lovely. So very true that we have to do this sxxt one day at a time. Some good some soooo bad but will one day be a distant memory. :-) x

    Dakota, are you ok ? Reiki does make a lot of sense and hope that helps you daughter and maybe our Benny too. R u chemo tomorrow, scared to go back a page and check because will lose all this I am sure lol. If so will travel astrally to your shoulder too and tell you naughty jokes to make you giggle.lol.

    Going to rummage around some junk shops for legs for a little basketware dolly crib we are doing up for GD. Modern legs will look awful, we need some older one's and would you believe on E.bay they cost a flippin fortune !

    I will probably come back laden down with all sorts from the local charity shops. Sod this internet shopping, let me rummage YAY.

    Benny u any better ? x

    Carla, sorry your boy has gone, but so hope you keep getting well X

    Bevlee, where you been girl ? never mind lolling about in the sun here in the country of your birth eyebrows could freeze off ! I still have mine and eyelashes too :-) But not counting any chickens lol. x

    Laters girls.

    Edi XXXX

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  • bennymuffins
    bennymuffins Member Posts: 412
    edited December 2012

    Edi, I am no better. I am going to tell Henning (onc) today that there is something very wrong with my stomach. Holy hannah, it's either severe diarrhea or a blockage, no in between. And the diarrhea is better of the two. I have not returned to normal since the first chemo and I don't know what another will do to me except plunge me further into illness. I'm also not prepared for this one as I've been so sick and haven't been able to make up enough meals ahead of time. I'm thinking now I should have done that instead of going to see Diamond, but horse versus cooking..... horse won out. Lesleyanne's post is fantastic, isn't it? I keep reading it over and over again. Lesleyanne, thanks again for such a heartfelt inspiring post. I'm going to read it as many times as I have to to keep my head on straight.

    Five more hours and I put my EMLA cream on for bloodwork, then wait around to see the onc, then drive home in rush hour traffic. Then I'll likely have to do a blitz of veggie stews tonight for freezing. I don't know where I'm going to find the strength to get through this day.

    Does everyone know about the hot water trick? Years and years ago when I worked in a small hospital we used to give the patients a cup of hot water every morning first thing upon awakening. It was supposed to stimulate their bowels. Well, I think it really works.

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  • websister
    websister Member Posts: 1,092
    edited December 2012

    Lesleyanne - loved your post



    Traii - Edi is on your shoulder, I'm in your pocket.



    Benny - yes, way back when I was in nursing school we learned about hot drinks on an empty stomach to stimulate the bowel - it does work. Hope all goes well today with your bloodwork and appointment.



    Edi -enjoy your rummaging, GD will be very happy with that present



    Dakota - thanks for the kind words



    Everyone else, hope it's a good day with few or no side effects.



    Mom had her surgery on her hip last week, now waiting transfer to a rehab facility. I'm doing OK with the side effects post last week's chemo, trying to get a course I'm taking wrapped up this week re: assignments and finishing up Christmas stuff. Very glad I started on Christmas in August ;)

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  • Traii
    Traii Member Posts: 1,138
    edited December 2012

    Thats ok Edi darling, glad your DH dragged you to bed....mine does that too when he sees me on the laptop...he just stumbled in the lounge now at 1:15am and said are you still on that thing..well between here and FB I'm a busy woman when my DS is in nigh nigh land lol......

    Oh what you are making for GD sounds great :)

    My bloods were good Edi, better than the first round and second......my doc told me also that my liver results were better too and going down ( I have high GGT have for a long time, we all don't know why.....they all think I"m an alcoholic...lol) but they too were shrinking, have had them for being on the pill but been off them for over 3 years and they are shrinking and even disappeared too so hoping this is too doing the trick )......

    you can have my shoulder to sit on as I won't be able to get you out of my pocket with the gloves on....lol bloody damn gloves better do the trick .... my thumbs are quickly growing out and i'm worried they are going to take off.......I polished my nails today not with that sally hansen strengthener as they are a steroid of their own....I did a nice purply colour ... the colour was called 'flirt' by sally hansen....and flirt I just may ...and flicker the wig....lol

    my girlfriend and hubby came over tonight..it was great to see them...first time with the wig and they looooved it....couldn't recognise it was a wig and I hadn't seen them since I started treatment.....:)

    So off to see onc tomorrow then chemo at midday, they bring yummy sangas around and yoghurt etc so I'll get my aunty to feed me while I chillax with the ice gloves and ice on my feet ! lol......

    Benny, that hot water trick, my oh so mean mother in law has that every morning.....lol now I know why...it does the trick !!!

    Doesn't sound like a blockage Benny, you wouldn't be going if there was...my nanna and dad both had colon cancer and thats when I heard about blockages !!

    Stomach pains is very very common hun.....try not stressing too much but yes I know easy for me to say, best bring it up with your onc tomorrow..i'm sure he'll be saying stomach bug or just another side effect you are experiencing unfortunately.....

    So are you having bloods tomorrow to see if you are going to be having chemo tomorrow too ???

    ok i better go do some sleepies ...... back on the steroids tomorrow think thats why i'm a little 'buzzy ' right now....lol.....

    Enjoy your day gorgeous ladies....chin up benny, there is definetely light at the end of this tunnel...as long as it seems there really will be light.......

    xx Traii xx

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  • Traii
    Traii Member Posts: 1,138
    edited December 2012

    Dakota, just saw your message but like Edi I didn't go bak on all the posts incase I lost my post I was typing  (does my bloody head in when I loose all my work, and then with chemo brain (my excuse anyways) I forget what I typed out!!

    I spoke with the chemo nurse today, oh not so very helpful. called to see if she could put the gloves in the freezer as my last chemo nurse told me to call the day before and she was saying oh are you on a trial blah blah blah I said no, I'm not however the last chemo nurse told me to call as they were placed in the fridge and that someone would be happy to put them in the freezer for me a day before i was due to come in, she said well i'm a little busy and if i remember I will put them in...WELL i'm calling at 8am when they get in so that they are in the freezer, chemos not until 12:15pm so it will freeze by then......hmmm some attitude I was given, then asked if I could do blood work on the 2nd Jan next chemo instead of the day before as the pathology is at the hospital and she said no we 'prefer' them the day before ....she said anyway talk about that tomorrow its not important right now as we are busy.....wellll excuuuuuse me !!! I had to be nice as she wanted my name .... I remember hers this time around .... and if i see her tomorrow I'll be extra nice to make her feel silly !! lol thats just my bitchiness coming out of me...

    Websister, yes I'll be making sure I have pockets on tomorrow you're in there girl :) just pop out when you want :) x

    I have a few more Christmas gifts to do then wrapping !! You are toooo good , August wow ! must admit I had a ticket to the mattel factory and did lots of christmas shopping for the kids and picked up such great bargains...I forgot what I bought ... lol....worst thing with me is that I give my son lots during the year as his birthday is on christmas day !

    Glad to hear not many side effects and you feeling well. And your mum...good on her ready for rehab :) you must be relieved too Websister :)

    We went to see some more christmas lights today, they were fantastic.....about a 10 metre lit up santa..it was terrific. My son sat on santas lap too...it was too cute....we gave dollar coin donations too for the power of all the lights and to the childrens hospital....this lady was saying that hey love kids so much...unfortunately she had 2 children, miscarriage on one and SIDs on the other so they do lots of donations through this too.

    anyways beddy time good night well good morning to you ladies ! I'm getting a little dilusional.....lol x

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  • Traii
    Traii Member Posts: 1,138
    edited December 2012

    wow sorry for the long posts, boy I can rant on.....with or without steriods...oh whoops hot flush coming on...dillusional and can't spell.....and hubby calling me in...like i'm a little girl with a big arvo tomorrow....lol I only sit there on my butt with a drip in my arm making my aunty laugh......and eating ....sucking on lollies and with these ridiculous snow looking gloves on my hands......lol

    ok enough said good night Tracey...shut up now.........bet you're all laughing at me saying shes' gone lloooopy...loo.....ok well i have but love you's all you are all gorgeous women :)

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  • bennymuffins
    bennymuffins Member Posts: 412
    edited December 2012

    Is it normal to still be nauseous and have to force food down even on day 27?

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  • Dakota212
    Dakota212 Member Posts: 1,153
    edited December 2012

    Hi girls yes still here!!! Benny can't wait to u go to the dr. For the love of god we need u to feel better!!! Keep us updated please !!!

    Traii- thanks for the visual made me giggle. !!! #3 right???

    Edi-

    Good luck shopping. Hope u find what ur looking for.

    U girls r hard to keep up with!!!

    At work gotta run but promise to post later!!! Think we t going to visit Santa at the mall tonight. These darn kids are so busy :)

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  • emmalee
    emmalee Member Posts: 20
    edited December 2012

    Benny,

    I've read a lot about the side effects of chemo and they are not good.  I'm wondering if your doctor had the chemosensitivity testing done.  This tests the blood or a tissue sample for the chemotherapies that are effective against your cancer.  Farrah Fawcett received chemo that was completely ineffective against her cancer.  Personally, I would be considering alternatives to high-dose chemo such as high-dose vitamin C therapy at this point.

    Vitamin C Therapy - Miracle Cure?

    http://www.3news.co.nz/Living-Proof/tabid/371/articleID/171328/Default.aspx

    I do believe that the body is designed to heal itself and that there are very effective therapies that do not use the FULL chemotherapy dose such as insulin potentiated therapy (IPT), 1/10th dose, and other combined low-dose chemo regimens of 1/10th-1/20th dose that give little or no side effects.  Suzanne Somers has some info on her blog about lower doses of chemo that may be of interest to you.  I would get a second opinion and not take more of that chemo.

    http://www.suzannesomers.com/Blog/post/Chemosensitivity-Tests-e28093-Why-Does-Big-Pharma-Know-About-Them-and-WE-Done28099t.aspx

    A vegan diet should be helping you.  Are you juicing organic fruits and vegetables such as carrots, green apples, and lettuce like the Gerson Therapy?  This gets very concentrated nutrition into your body.  A masticating juicer that separated the pulp out is best and requires little energy to digest the food in juice form if you want one.

    I believe that there are very effective non-toxic therapies are being suppressed and have studied these therapies for many months.  I have a lot of info if anyone wants it.

    The Cancer Treatment Protection Racket

    http://www.energygrid.com/health/2012/04ap-canceract.html

    My best to everyone.

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  • Traii
    Traii Member Posts: 1,138
    edited December 2012

    Yep dakota #3 whoo half way there.

    3hrs to go :)

    4 hrs sleep feeling ok!



    Hope u girls having a good day:)

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  • scouser47
    scouser47 Member Posts: 963
    edited December 2012

    Benny good luck with Onc hope he gets you sorted out for the next one. Here's to as normal a chemo as is possible with minimal SE's.

    Diamond versus food is no contest. The giant plush toy must be as good for you as a big bowl of veg soup. Must be horrid to have to force yourself to eat. We know you are trying so hard and we are all proud of you.

    Lesleyann post was inspiring to us all and I too will keep reading it when awful things kick in.

    Hope you managed the veggie stews.

    The hot water remedy is a new one to me but filing it away for future reference.

    Take care beautiful Benny X

    Websister, so glad se's not to bad and Mum improving.

    No luck with legs for cot for GD DH not a happy bunny. Sure she will love it if we ever get it finished ! x

    Traii my little one, Cyber mummy will come and trip up nasty unhelpful nurse tomorrow if she hasn't put your gloves in the freezer. She won't see my astral body he he.Be careful you don't hurt Websister if you put your big cold mitts in your pockets, think she may have to move to your other shoulder to keep her safe. Your Aunty sounds like a lovely lady.

    I go completely hyper with the steroids I have them by IV and would love them every day lol.

    I too do here and F/B till all hours much to DH's horror.

    Nail Varnish sounds lush colour, mine deep burgundy colour at the moment. Nice that no one realised about your wig.

    Took GD to light show by us day before yesterday like yours all proceeds go to good cause think DH and I enjoyed it as much as she did. We were dancing to the mad xmas music much to her amusement.

    Good Luck tomorrow Loopy Lou X

    Dakota, the same to you with knobs on. Hope all goes really smoothly. X

    DH gonna unplug this thing in a minute !

    Nightie Nightie, Edi X

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  • bennymuffins
    bennymuffins Member Posts: 412
    edited December 2012

    Okay, saw the onc. It's not good news, I'm afraid. He said I am (his words) 'exquisitely sensitive to chemo' and he cannot justify putting my life in danger. He said my surgery went well and they got clear margins. If I did nothing from this point on I would have a 30-40% chance of survival. If I continued with chemo (and survived it) I would have a 65% chance of survival. He said for his money the hormone therapy is more effective. He said I should have recovered by now. My bloodwork came back okay but because my stomach is messed up he is delaying chemo til next week (again). And he will be reducing the dose. This is not good news as I am stage 3 grade 3 and need the big guns. Cry But it is what it is, he said. He said everyone processes chemo differently. The lady in the next room is on the same regimen and is breezing through hers. He said my enzymes don't process it very well, even tho' my liver and kidney function is fine.

    I am so depressed. It's like I can't get a break. I tried to get through it and he acknowledged that, but my system just cannot handle it. I will be getting the Neulasta shot next week too.

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  • bennymuffins
    bennymuffins Member Posts: 412
    edited December 2012

    Emmalee, just saw your post now. Will do some reading, thanks!

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  • Traii
    Traii Member Posts: 1,138
    edited December 2012

    Sorry to hear Benny. Fingers crossed though that next treatment being given the neulasta shot counts will be fine and you do have a more minimal SE time on it.



    You're a fighter....your body is being a little stubborn....but you will be fine we all have hope and huge amount of faith in you Benny.

    Wishing you well and hope soon enough you'll be driving your truck to see your beloved Diamond again (taking along a picnic!!) and going for a ride. X



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  • bennymuffins
    bennymuffins Member Posts: 412
    edited December 2012

    Thanks Traii. I can't stop crying.

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  • lynnwinh
    lynnwinh Member Posts: 4
    edited December 2012

    Well I also never wanted to be a member but 10 hours ago I joined. I've had a bump/lump for over 6 years but my husband was diagnosed with cancer at the end of October and with that stress I noticed a change and saw the doctor the next day.  Bioposy completed but he is now requesting a bone scan with the dye to check and see if has spread and where it could be hiding.  I had no discernable pain and was told it was a fiberoedema(sp?) Well it isn't anymore.  I'm from the US but a living in Canada right now. Does anyone know which hospital(s) are using cryotherapy/cryoablation for treatment? I see this as my only option for treatment which doesn't seem to show up often in the general media.  Like the article in the Daily Mail that the UK is now holding a trial on this treatment and it is approved in the US.  I have so many questions...

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  • scouser47
    scouser47 Member Posts: 963
    edited December 2012

    Benny, That is devestating news for you.   Surely you can't be the only person this has happened to. As Traii has said you are a fighter, wipe up those tears and come out with the boxing gloves on for round two.

    I know you will be thinking " it's all right for them to say do this and do that " but you are the Captain of your ship and the Master of your fate. It is your body with your beautiful spirit in there. There must be an answer.

    We are here.

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  • Traii
    Traii Member Posts: 1,138
    edited December 2012

    Wipe those tears benny....no tears, like Edi said .... you are the captain of your ship......and the master of your fate. You need to tell them what you want and get answers to boost your percentage that is going to give you a better chance at life....you are still very young and we know you can do this....

    My first Taxotere I thought I was going to give up...but then had this sudden thought I can't give up, i have things to live for, people to live for, my hubby to grow old with, my son to watch him grow up to be the the big man.

    I know you've had it tough Benny, tought then most of us but you need to do this for yourself.

    So round up those boxing gloves....we will all be sitting in your pocket pull us out whenever you want to chat .

    I saw Edi with her boxing gloves on  today asking for that nurse that DIDN"T put my ice gloves in the bloody freezer, they were useless.! thanks webmister for keeping me sane during chemo and waking me up every now and then to check up on me....

    Thank goodness for the ice my aunty brought and I took, for my feet...they worked like magic...now to see minimal tingling and hope i can walk.

    My onc told me that I can have wine..whoo hoo...he said I'll be a 'one pot cheap shout screamer' as all it will take is one glass to get me over my limit....lol..... lets see on Saturday about that one...and here I am mean't to be the designated driver ..... guess hubby will be driving then I'm looking forward to a white wine....my chemo nurse was a darling today, they were soooo busy waited 2and a half hours extra for a seat today..they ended up putting me in the 'trial' room where people were undergoing trials for new things.....I didn't care where I was placed so long as it was on a seat with my IV....

    I'm doing ok, little tired but think that could be the 4 hours sleep I had and the 36 degree day we had and going to be a hot hot night so i'm sitting in the lounge feet up with my air con on while the boys play outside...ahhh me time ;) another hot one tomorrow so pool party at my auntys...

    oh and the tingly feet, plenty of moisturiser...every hour onc said. Yeh easy for him to say, I can't wear socks on hot days like this with moisturiser so I'm chillaxing with my feet up as mentioned with moisturiser on.....lathering up those feet.

    hope everyone is well...Benny please cheer up, perhaps don't settle for second best...you need to find other options if this second chemo doesn't work, but with the Neulasta shot, which works wonders I'm sure you'll be alot better.....we'll see the difference with Edi again next week :)


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  • scouser47
    scouser47 Member Posts: 963
    edited December 2012

    Lynnwinh, Sorry you have had to join us but welcome and I am sure that one of our girls from your country will have an answer.

    Anything else you want or need just post we have all been where you are right now. So sorry to hear about your DH having cancer too.

    Edi.

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  • Lesleyanne67
    Lesleyanne67 Member Posts: 225
    edited December 2012

    Benny



    Well that stinks....are they giving you IV anti-emetics prior to chemo? Are you taking anti-nausea meds around the clock? I think you need to get past this initial hump and I am not suggesting anyone screwed up intentionally but if all the bloodwork came back ok and liver and kidney function is on task, DEFINITELY an attempt at reducing dosage or switching you to a different drug combo should be attempted before you give up. Are you happy with this Dr????



    I am no Dr and I don't want to give medical advice, but my boyfriend works in oncology daily so there ARE choices Benny dear!!!!



    My heart aches for you. For goodness sakes do go back and read my post DON'T compare yourself to the person breezing thru....remember my marathon nemesis...these people are aliens : )



    Big Hugs

    Lesley

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  • bearcub
    bearcub Member Posts: 485
    edited December 2012

    Benny I agree with everyone above, didn't you have a e-Coli infection and that is what sent you to hospital? I am sure that is what has made everything so difficult this round. You were not just dealing with the after effects of chemo. You should try the reduced dose maybe for another round and see how it goes, and I want to know why they are putting you on Neulasta shots when your bloodwork is fine. Don't those shots just create more pain?



    Benny do you have a support system around, family? I wish I could give you a hug,



    I hope everyone else continues to manage the SE fine, have a good week.



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  • Dakota212
    Dakota212 Member Posts: 1,153
    edited December 2012

    Benny-

    Edi, Traii, and bear cub are right!!!!

    U can do this try looking at what emalee sent, do the reduced dose... Don't give up. There is a lot to be thankful for u got this. We are here for u my friend we r here!!! Pick urself up and cry and fight!!!

    Edi-

    U r sooooo sweet. I love that u have so much in ur life and keep living it u r an inspiration !!

    Lynn -

    Welcome !! We r here for ya girl!!!

    Web sister -

    Glad mom is doing well !!

    Traii -

    Honestly why do people have to he nasty. If they didn't exist how nice would life be. Does it take that long to put gloves in a freezer. I want to kick her in the shins!!!

    If I forgot anyone cheers to a new day love u girls !!

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