Winter RADS 2012 Club...Please come join the fun!

The CT imaging helps not only with angle of treatment (to avoid as much collateral damage to surrounding organs as they can) but also will help them set up the penetration depth.  That is what I was told.

Loveofcritters - thank you for your note  I really did feel like he was there with me and have felt this connection with him all along. It is so weird to have this in common with him too. We had a really special relationship - anyway... thank you.

I hope everyone is doing as well as they can. I live near Oakland and it is POURING!!! It's so good to be in the house and watch. One thing about all of this down time is I truly appreciate my home so much. It isn't fancy but it is home

So do you have CT scans throughout? What kind of creams have been the most helpful with burns?

Sonson-I read your comment about why any of us get this to begin with, especially if we are considered healthy people to start. I have read about all the risk factors even before I got my diagnosis,, including weight, exercise, diet, stress, family history, never having children, no breast feeding, alchohol consumption, etc. Yet I know many women who have had this disease that are at a good weight, eat well, have no family history, have kids they breastfed, don't drink alchohol, etc. I just see no rhyme or reason to who gets this, when they get it, or why. I have seen young and old, thin and heavy, and all the variables play out here with women I have known who have had it.

But I will share two things I feel contributed to my situation, and they are things I am working to change as I go forward. I think really all we can do is to review our lives and perhaps determine some lifestyle changes we can make to be healthier. During the past 8 years, I had an elderly parent who became ill and both my sister and I have been helping to take care of her in various ways until she went to the other side. She passed away peacefully in March of this year. Interestingly enough, both my sister and I were diagnosed with BC this year (and no family history of this). Coincidence? I think not. We both had a lot of extras on our plates and the stress with her care and then her decline this past year. We don't blame our mother for this, but we do feel the situation may have contributed to our immune systems wearing down.  We say we are now middle aged and stuff happens too! But we are both looking for ways to better take care of ourselves going forward, and to better manage the ongoing stresses in our lives (and we all have them).

The other thing is weight. Both my sister and I have too much weight on us and we are committed to getting ourselves down into a healthy range. I recently lost 35 pounds due to some other health issues that have occurred this year unrelated to BC, and my doctor has suggested I need to keep going. Kind of hard to be on a diet with all that is going on, and not able to exercise fully yet, but I told my surgeon I am committed to taking off the remaining additional weight to get in a healthy range. She said excess weight creates estrogen in the body that feeds the cancer. And as we know, extra weight helps nothing.

So did I bring this on? I have asked myself the question if I did this to myself. Not helping an aging parent was not an option. But I do accept that maybe excess weight didn't help anything? Probably. But I am going to be kind to myself, given this difficult year I am working through, and just try to do better going forward. My goal is to learn from this and grow into a better person, but do feel I did not deserve this.

Sonson and Jazzygirl - I think about what I did wrong all the time...but the farther I get in this process, the more I'm trying to let that go.  I have felt SO guilty about getting cancer.  Like I've somehow let myself and my family down.  But even though I'm definitely guilty of having too much wine on occasion, I was a pretty healthy person up until this.  And being a triple negative and only 31...well, it feels like a total lightning strike event.  I'm trying to let go of the guilt and accept the fact that some things are out of my control.  As scary as that can be.

I know we all struggle with the "what did I do wrong" feeling, and I hope that we can all make our peace with those feelings.

Thinking of you ladies and hoping everyone is feeling good!  Off to rads #5...

Please don't blame yourselves for cancer. It is no respecter of persons. There are women with high risk factors who never get it, and others living a heathy life style who do. I am slim, don't eat red meat or pork, eat poultry occassionally, no soda, don't smoke, rarely drink, eat little junk food, and no family history of it. I always said I'd never get cancer because my risk factors were so low. Guess I shouldn't have tempted fate. I can't help but wonder if there are environmental factors that caused it, or the additives in our food. 

LOL, the running through the parking lot, flinging off the bra has me laughing too! I don't think any of us have much modesty anymore!

So, today I feel like I've been microwaved. I'm getting a rash under my breast, and some areas feel rather toasty. I'm prayiing I don't burn, blister or worse.

Hi ladies-thanks for your notes about not beating one's self up to hard about having this disease. As we all say here, it is not discriminating, is it? We are doing the best we can every day. 

FHNY2012 and others of you who are young and facing this, my heart goes out to you because I never thought about this ever in my 30s. I am 52 and said to myself when I turned 50, be ready as something may blow! When my sister told me she had been diagnosed, I felt it was unfair after my mom had passed a few months before. When I got told I had something that had changed in my breast and needed a biopsy, I just sort of knew then. But then I thought, would that really happen? Mom dies, my sister AND I get diagnosed two month apart? But the answer to it is, yes, all that did happen and other things too. My sister and I have a new saying now "problems don't come in threes anymore, they come in six packs!" I bet some of you can relate to that too. 

I think this thread has helped me to share my guilt feelings about this and now will let that go. I have to stay focused on my next steps for treatment, as I know many of you are doing too.

Blessings to you all!

Hi Jenn and welcome! You'll find many wonderful women here who understand what you're going through, and will give you great advice, support, or just a listening ear if you need one. It's wonderful that you won't need chemo! What a relief! Wishing you an easy radiation treatment!

I'm a tired gal, but just over halfway thru, yay! Tomorrow is my 53rd birthday, and never would have imagined this scenario a year ago...always more worried about the weight around my middle which is so risky yet hereditary ( thanks Mom). Anyway everyone at the center wished me a happy bday, every corner I turned, and gave me a card too! I'm telling you they're better than some of my family! I thanked them but also told them: no offense ladies but I'm really glad I don't have to see you on my birthday tomorrow, and they said amen to that! Great group. Pink skin but feeling better today after giving it lots of air last couple days. Wishing everyone a peaceful weekend, a break for all hopefully.

Happy Birthday Heidismom. Cheers to many, many more!

Happy Birthday Heidismom! How sweet of your center to give you a card!! Just think, on your next birthday, all this will be behind you. Have a great day!

Hi Everyone!



I'm not very good at remembering everyone's names...welcome to those who just joined and happy birthday! i agree with the post about anger as I'm starting to feel this way. Mentally I keep myself focused on rest, eating healthy, exercise and staying hydrated. I have room to grow on all of these areas so it is a good way to stop the negative thoughts.



My parents came to town this weekend to help my sister and in between her needs trying to help me out. I know I need to be more appreciative but sometimes their "help" is more work than help. My mom insisted on going with me today to the treatment. It took me longer to pick her up and added travel time than the time of the entire session. Oh we'll, it was nice that she wanted to be there and I'm grateful for that. We came home and again she wanted to help me decorate for Christmas which meant dragging things out from storage...all I wanted to do was sit down and rest. (Sigh)



I too have brief moments of trying to figure out what caused this...they don't last long as I realize the thoughts make me feel bad so I mentally force myself to move on. I too was a caregiver for my father-in-law for the last 3 1/2 years. He passed away on Valentine's day (his favorite day). He was a wonderful man to my family and cherish the time we had with him..no regrets. Although when I was first was told I needed a biopsy my first thoughts were "of course, the caregiver always gets sick". This has haunted me but again I realize that this is a great source of anger that I have to let go. My husband is an attorney and works a lot of hours and I work full-time. We were the sandwich generation as my daughters were 3 and 5 when his father fell ill. On top of that, his dad had a stroke and no longer could talk. This was very difficult for my husband and his family offered minimal support the entire time. We divided responsibilities and since it was emotionally hard on my husband I took care of my father in law's health and care needs. Between his care, raising a young family and working, I was not a priority! I need to change this going forward and it will be difficult. I know that this angers me but there were amazing moments of taking care of him and I have no regrets. My children learned life lessons that most never experience. Also, it was good training ground for my husband and I. It brought us closer together and taught us on to work together in difficult times. I used to say if I got sick, my husband wouldn't be able to make important decisions. I have been very wrong with this statement as he has stepped up in many ways that I haven't expected.



Anyway sorry for the long post. Today's session went well. Just feel tingling like the start of a sunburn. Today they put special stickers on me to validated the correct radiation levels. It made me feel better that they have quality control methods in place to ensure that these sessions are actually working.



Tomorrow is my daughter's 9th birthday. She wants to go look at Christmas lights and get our tree. Sounds like fun to me!

sonson & Jazzygirl and all others... You know what the biggest risk factor for getting breast cancer is? Being female! :::cue music: duhn-duhn-duuuuuh....::: I think whenlifegivesyoulemons pointed this out to me. I am quite satisfied with that answer at this point hearing all the different stories of my sisters here. It's the only answer that makes any sense.

sonson, The other recipe is fine. I'll let you know as soon as I get the new one up. I have internet limitations being in an extremely rural area so that hampers me a bit too... I do sometimes think that my more recent years' diet maybe just a little bit helped in controlling the BC I had but there seem to be no guarantees. I have had access to pastured beef and pork (and chicken) so what meat I was eating has been hormone free and grass-fed so containing the good fats (CLA). I stopped eating dairy, had to. I drink lots of green tea. Eat plenty of veggies. Had really reigned in sugar consumption. And I was just eating this way to improve my healing up from the decades of damage from my undiagnosed state. I will keep it up because I function best this way, not because I think it's any guarantee of preventing rucurrence or anything... In my case, that is the tamoxifen's job now.

Is anyone else feeling cooked inside? I am definitely not feeling very comfortable in some areas now. I have 7 more treatments to go and I have my fingers crossed that it won't get worse.



I'm also feeling kind of down today. Just don't feel like myself anymore. I sometimes wonder if I'll ever feel like I did before BC.

Andrea623- I see you have had a BMX with expanders like myself.  How is your skin holding up with the TE??  I am suppose to begin radiation in a couple of weeks- after my last fill.  I am worried about whether the TE willl hold up with radiation or will I need another surgery to complete reconstruction.  My tumor was large and I was also a grade 3, so radiation is recommended and I have struggled with going through with it.  I feel like it will be in my best interest, but I can't help but wonder if I am overdoing with this treatment plan.