Diep 2012

I cannot wait to be re introduced to Mr Happy LOL!!!  This weekend is gonna be special HAHA!  My hubby is counting the days--poor guy!!

Maggie

Ronniekay, even when you think you're having a rant, you're still one of the most positive and supportive women around! That's a lot to go through and you are just amazing!

Mags....ha! Maybe hubby will have Merry Christmas. ;-) wink.

Jackie, sorry to hear of your troubles.  OMG I can't imagine having a drain for nine weeks, mine drove me nuts and they were only in for about two weeks.  I wanted to let you know not to worry about the scarring if you have to have the second operation.  I had a total of three operations and radiation on my left breast before having BMX and DIEP reconstruction last month.  My left breast was a mess of scar tissue and the DIEP was still possible. The only concession to the scarring that affected the DIEP was that they replaced my breast skin with skin from my abdomen when reconstructing.  For symmetry sake the PS did it on both sides even though it was only necessary on the left.  So there is a football shaped area on both breasts that is a little lighter than the rest which is where they used the skin from my abdomen.  The PS said eventually it will all blend together and reach the same coloring, but it is barely noticeable even now.  So, do what you have to do as far as removing the seroma, they will still be able to do DIEP.  

Jackie - Before diep, I had my mastectomy scar from 27 years ago when they were stapled closed.  It had been re-opened at least 5 times and was not a pretty thing.  Even though I am only 2 weeks out from bi-lat diep, I know this scar will be incredibly better.  A PS can do amazing things these days, so don't worry - get the seroma taken care of and let the PS (once chosen) work their magic.

Beckers...it'a mound in the pelvic area, below the tummy scar.  I wouldn't be too bothered except that it rises higher on the right side than the left. The ps said the same thickness of fat/tissue is taken from the entire stomach area for diep, so it was my physique that probably was a bit uneven and not noticeable until skin was pulled tighter.  He did do some lipo there during stage 2 so it's better, and he said there's still swelling.  I had read on a tummy tuck site that it's not unusual to have the mound...and the only way to remedy it is lipo, but my ps said the skin is so thin there that he wouldn't want to take much.  I also read that the job of the fat in the pelvic area is meant to cushion during sex...who knew   This makes me think of Mags!  Hope you have no pelvic bulge, girl!

Cg1234...omg...thought I was the only one that thought it was nutty they asked me for recent surgeries when everything's in my 5# file...along with the med lists I fill out each visit.  When they asked me to fill out another living will directive (which I filled out on-line 3 surgeries before), I asked them to just look it up  

Jackie...I agree, you should feel confident your ps will work wonders, and massage helps too if you have areas that have excess scar tissue. Wishing you the best

Sptmm...I hope you're doing well after going back to work!

Jackie...good luck w/your new doctor!  Bdavis..you're an amazing source for all of us..and I'm hoping your recovery from the storm is going well & your friend is in my thoughts and prayers.

Take care all!

I'm meeting with PS tomorrow, 11/29, to schedule DIEP.

Unfortunately, I had an emergency appendectomy Sunday night.  I'm pretty sure that is going to throw a wrench into things. Grrrr....

Oh, and listing surgeries?  I finally just made a list I carry with me.  I have had 11, yes ELEVEN surgeries now.  6 of them abdominal, 3 chest, 1 knee, one head.  What a mess I am.  

I'm jealous Ronnie. My pants hurt by the end of the night because my tummy swells.



SheChirple - 6 abdominal surgeries!!!!! Wow! I had a tummy full of scars after 4 and all scars are gone, except the bikini (from c-sections), which is now 3 times longer..ha! But I love my smooth skinned abdomen. Many years I wore those scars and stretch marks! I hope you have smooth recovery and can schedule DIEP soon.

Ugh, I'm having swelling that worsens by evening above my ab incision. I don't know how some of you are working full time at 4-5 weeks. I am 5 weeks and tried a few visits to the office and now I'm paying for it. I can't even stand straight. I think I'll take it easy for awhile and stay away! I hope the rest of you are healing well this week!

What helped me a LOT with the swelling was my PS' insistence that I moisturise and gently massage my entire front at least 3 times a day from week 3. I would take my tube of moisturiser off to the shower room at work and cream up. It made my stomach so much more comfortable!



Jenn

Oh Marcie, I'm so sorry to hear that. There are a few here that have dealt with losing a flap who may be helpful, but do you have other options now? We are all here for you! (((Big hugs)))

Marcie -- My heart goes out to you... what a disapointment -- in many ways like a failed pregnancy. You are so smart to seek counseling.

Physically, where do you stand now?

When you feel up to sharing -- Please tell us what your new options are. 

What I try to do in situations like this is mourn full out -- then as soon as I can think -- I begin to look at the practical side and plan the next step... let go of what wasn't and assume that what can be will offer me something new, and (for some Unknown reason) something that will be better for me.

I hope it doesn't sound trite, but have you ever gotten a much later start than expected to leave on a trip? The anger and frustration can be allieviated by considering that perhaps the Universe/God/Fate held you back that extra 2 hours because if you had left your house on time... something like a bad car accident might have taken place. From that new possibility -- no matter how fanciful it may seem -- suddenly being late becomes a  desireable consequence -- not a negative one.

Perhaps this disapointment and delay in getting where you thought you wanted to go with your recovery -- is exactly what is needed to take you someplace new that you still need to go. Perhaps this detour exists to reveal something important to you about your 'self'... who you are and how you are in control of choosing how you are going to accept and then blossom through this setback.

I loved my father more than anyone on earth. A year ago he died -- of cancer (stage 4 brain tumor). I was his caretaker for a year, and then lived with him in hospice his last month. What I expected to be a horrific/tragic loss -- actually became a huge opening with Spirit that I never thought could be possible. Especially that last month with my Dad -- and the blessing of being able to serve him in such an important way -- helping him face the unknown and say his goodbyes -- was a truly beautiful thing. I was changed forever -- in an amazingly positive way. I know that I helped him leave this earth with less fear, and with more dignity and peace. What I expected to be awful -- was magical and sweet. I experienced epiphany after epiphany -- during his dying, and after. I am not weaken by his loss (as I expected ) -- I am, instead, a new (happier/stronger) person because of my 'loss'. What I originally viewed as a curse was revealed to be SUCH a blessing...

I view my breast cancer experience the same way. Each step that seems like a hard surprise -- eventually reveals its purpose to my spiritual/personal growth. From the original shock and disapointment of suspect mammogram, to the continuing 'bad news' of the subsequent sonograms, MRI's -- the (several) biopsies... each holding more disapointment -- to the lumpectomy (healing -- thinking it was finally over)--  and then finding it still wasn't enough... there was more cancer than they thought. Accepting that I needed more surgery -- the mastectomy -- and deciding to have both breasts removed rather than just one.

I bet it has been the same for you and everyone here.

Accepting each batch of "bad news" is at first really tough. Then we moved forward into that next step -- and in retrospect, we begin to realize that this whole experience has caused us to be stronger -- more grounded -- more thankful for small blessings -- and more well-rounded human beings.

Old 'body issues' fall away, as we become simply thankful to still HAVE our bodies. Old 'modesty' thoughts  fall away as we are forced to allow our lovers and loved ones to truly see us as we are -- hiding nothing.

No more silliness of "holding our tummies in" or 'making sure the makeup and hair are perfect'... our vain attitudes are stripped away to reveal us as delicate yet strong -- resilient. We become new people. Our loved ones see us in a way we never would have let them see us before. My lover has now seen me at what I would have previously considered "my worst": frightened, teary, totally without makeup or any of those superficialities. He has held me close while I cried... something I would never previously have let anyone see.

And yet -- because of this BC journey we are sharing -- we are closer and our love is deeper -- more grounded in reality-- than ever before. Without the tearing down of my "facade" -- without this BC experience -- I am sure we would not be sharing this deep of a spiritual/human/intellectual communion.

Marcie -- in just that way -- There is something in this disapointment of the failed DIEP that will reveal itself to you eventually as having been a blessing.

And eventually you will understand what that is. You will grow through it -- and you are so smart to seek help in finding your way through this -- this is just another step in your breast cancer journey.

Sending you the very best wishes...

Linda

(((Hugs!!!))) Marcie! Linda said it beautifully, thanks, Linda! ..I had a similar experience with my dad who passed sixteen years ago from lung cancer. Every loss has a blessing and a lesson if we are open to receiving it. As difficult as this year has been with my brother almost dying...my BC , and most recently spending Thanksgiving in the hospital with my mom (gallbladder) that kept her hospitalized for 5 days......as my DS told me re: missing the traditional Thanksgiving festivities, "mom, I'm more Thankful this Thanksgiving than I ever have been! Kevin is alive, You're getting better, and grandma is too!" That put my " poor me". Back into perspective.



.and thank you Goldlining and Jenn for the encouragement re swelling.

Anybody have mastectomy with immediate diep flap reconstruction and then have radiation? If so, we're there any effects to appearance of breast or texture of skin... I haven't had my surgery yet and don't know route to go since I hear radiation after reconstruction is not recommended...anybody have experience? Am doing chemo first but already know lymph nodes are effected.. That's why I want radiation as well....

Oh marcie,



I am so sorry. I have heard there areBC retreats. They are free retreats that we are eligible for. I think you need one. Hell me too. I will look into it and report back.