So now you are old and ugly - thanks to CANCER. (I hate you.)

Well those are certainly people I would not be talking to in the future...fuck them what do they know.  This is hard and it is hard to be couragous everyday.

You have done an amazing thing, walked a path that they don't know or understand or respect and one day it will/maybe them and they will look to you.

Keep your chin up, you have done amazing, be proud of yourself of what you have done and what you will do. 

Sending love

Wow . bullseye.

((windlass))  Sorry those people are being such jerks to you.  

Having never seen you but interacting with you here, I only know your inner beauty.

OK this may be flip but humor is one of my coping mechanisms.  Photoshop a fave pic of yourself to add 20 years and post it to your website.  Then they can remark about how young you look!

I feel like every president that took office. they look horrible in 2 years. and that was just stress and lack of sleep. we have that plus....I buy cute clothes and that makes me feel better. and if i get a weird comment or mean one i start out by saying my oncologist, of 10 years, told me .........that shuts most people up, ha!

You've been to hell and back, and now you get blasted from some cohorts about your "deceptive" picture.  Oh, to be so petty, I guess consider the source.   If I would get a comment like that I think I would turn it around so that they feel like a heel. 

Take a deep breath, you are beautiful inside and out.  Even if we don't always feel it or look it, you are a fighter and survivor of a battle most are lucky never to combat. 

Keep breathing, tomorrow is another day, it will get better. 

Windlass there are lots of assholes in the world. You have to learn to ignore. Have I aged, yes but in reality I would have aged anyway. I have put on a few pounds but Chinese food and Thanksgiving happen. Diagnosed at 49 currently 51.

But just because you've aged doesn't mean you look like shit or you're ugly. This week I got 2 amazing compliments. One from a gal I met here that just finished treatment at the end of Sept. and is currently in the plucked chicken stage of hair growth (she's local). Met her for lunch and twice she said to me how "beautiful" I looked. That was Monday. Yesterday my next door neighbor (I live in a high-rise) said to me "you are a beautiful woman." Granted this is a full moon week but I'll take it

I actually think I look better. Why? It's all in the eyebrows. Mine are thinner than before but I plump them up with Anastacia brow duo. Seriously I swear that's it… and I get plenty of sleep, exercise and drink lots of water. I just look healthy… and I feel good.

So stop listening to the assholes. Surround yourself with people who will make you feel good. These people are the ugly ones.

Hi Windlass - long time no hear....

I too look 15 years older and my photos are still of my "pre-cancer" self.  I make no apolgies for what happened.  If someone else says something to you, then say this:

"I went to hell and back and I have the scars to prove it  - want to see my scars?  I shuddar to think what you would look like if you went through what I did"

Seriously, what a bunch of jerks.

Windlass,

First ditto to everthing everyone else has said.  The hell with them, how dare they and how rude!   I have been fortunate that the folks around me have been positive, even when I knew I looked like hell.  Now that I almost done with treament the next piece for me is really coming to terms with the changes in my body. For me the reality of the physical changes, particulalry the MX, is setting in in stages.  Just when I think I have come to terms with the surgery and all else we have been thru, it all comes knocking at the door again.  It is a process.

 I think if we are comfortable with how we look, the rest of the world and their stupid comments will bother us less.   The stronger I feel physically and emotionally the more easily I am able to deal with many things.  There will alsways be rude and obnoxious people around us, but if you can feel stronger about yourself - it may have less of an impact.  It is their issue not yours!

Be well,

nel

My eyelashes and brows never came back right.  My hair is still just a bob to the ear after 2 long years of crappy, thin chemo curl.  You may find that your body continues to revive.  I learned that I heal very, very slowly, but well. I got my period after 2 years and 2 months.  The body transitions for the worse as we age, but after cancer treatment, it's all a surprise and not all of it bad.

There is no doubt my skin is older, I'm older.  But I am here to tell you no BS, I'm better.  I "look" better because I feel better.  As a totally practical person, I never bought into how we wear our emotions, stress and illness.  I'm a believer now.

Don't let some shallow idiot steal this powerful beauty from the inside that is a million times more powerful if you own it than youth or prescribed beauty.

Windlass,

It is amazing how some people engage their moths before putting their brains in gear! Yes, bc can be rough on the body and some people can be remarkably clueless. Pay them no heed. You know who you are.

Caryn

Nel,you are so right,"if we are comfortable" yes you are very wise. If we are comfortable in our own skin. So I took some lingerie shots and phone texted them to the fiance. He got normal real fast!

I learned so much from a little girl I met at a Christmas party. They had smoked salmon and all kinds of strange looking pasta but I had tasted it before and knew it was delicious. However, she didnt want to eat anything she didnt recognize. All she would eat were the rolls. Her brother told her that if all she ate were rolls she would never grow any bigger. (He was the same size as her) She totally ignored him. He told her several times and she just kept going back for more rolls. They were both skinny as string beans but thats what some 3rd grade picky eaters look like. I was so proud of her. She was very strong willed and could not care less what anyone else thought. I am sure she eats other things sometimes. Her parents were not concerned about it at all. I thought to myself,I should be more like her. I would like to get to that point where I am secure enough to do what I like to be happy and ignore those naysayers who just wanna bring me down. It will take a lot of work cause I normally cry for hours if someone says something to hurt my feelings.

I hear you sister (windlass) we used to speak on the April Chemo thread and I haven't been on for quite a while and I've changed my profile name. Yeah people are mean, and as for ageing overnight, too flippin right, I had just turned 43 when I was dx with both primary and secondary breast cancer since being dx nearly 2 years ago I have a) put on a 2 stone in weight (first time ever in my life that I have been fat) b) lost all of my hair (had waist length hair) and its only grown a couple of inches since I finished chemo probably due to the fact that I've got to be on herceptin forever! I feel about 100 I groan when I get up out of a chair and first thing in the morning getting out of bed is a real pain especially in my ankles probably all thanks to the dam tamoxifen joint pain is a SE c) just feel really ugly and old. So I can completely appreciate what your saying windlass, how do all the breast cancer celebrities cope with all of this or is it just a case that they have the money to sort out all the niggly problems left over from breast cancer treatment, I know I would have a tummy tuck (I look like the michelin tire man, all thanks to early menopause) and the best hair extensions including eyelash and eyebrow tatoo's because mine haven't grown back so I'm still looking baldy!! Also like to add major hot flush central here and driving up the bloody wall. Glad to get that off my chest, completely understand and relate to all of what you were saying hun. Love and light to you sarah xx

I am a changed person in many ways since my diagnosis.  I like to think that there will be wisdom someday at the end of it all.  I was once a very cute, sexual person who loved men, my body, fun, sex, myself, and my kids.  Now I love my kids but struggle with the rest.  People I thought would be there for me were not; most family seem to have done a thing or two and then just moved on or into denial; family and friends can be toxic too.  So I am rebuilding my life.  But I have gained in compassion, understanding, the ability to breathe and overlook the trivial.  I'm sure there is more there but I am just learning.  Try to give yourself a 'gift' each day - time, tea, a new lipstick, whatever - and know your sisters are always here for you.  To be cliche': Beauty is more than skin deep.  Only the shallow or sheltered or stupid think otherwise.

Day - LMAO!  Love the video, and true that.  

Anyone tried the ear acupuncture for hot flashes caused by breast cancer meds and preventive meds for after cancer?   Who told you that you were ugly or old? Who died and made them in charge of that definition? Nonsense!