MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

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  • Loral
    Loral Member Posts: 932
    edited November 2012

    Hi, when you all have your chemo treatments or radiation did you take time off from your full time jobs or continue working straight through. I'm not sure of my game plan yet but I'm just wondering what you have done. Thanks, LorAll

  • LindaKR
    LindaKR Member Posts: 1,577
    edited November 2012

    I worked quite a bit after surgery, I was able to work from home. During chemo I tried to keep working, at least part time, but ended up taking more and more time off due to some side effects that severely limited my ability to work (I had eye issues that didn't allow me to read or look at the computer screen and that's what my job was). Then I had to get my rads 90 miles away from home, so ended up staying there during the week - that's when I totally quit work.  Remember though every body handles the treatments differently and every treatment is different.  I wish that I had just stopped working at the very beginning and planned a year off or so, I think that I made it harder on myself because I tried to push myself to work as much as I could, instead of concentrating on taking care of myself while I was (I got this from Susan Love) butchered, poisoned and burned!  Even if it seems you're flying through the treatments, they are hard on your body.

    Now that being said - I volunteer at the local infusion center and many women manage to work close to full time through their treatments, they only take a day off here and there. On the rads day they take the little local cancer bus to the center and come back and work a 1/2 day.  The cancer center is 30 miles closer to the radiation center than where I live.

    Some women have to work, cancer is covered under the American with Disabilities Act and your employer needs to make concessions for you during treatment - ie flexible hours, working from home, allowing more breaks - there's a great site on working and cancer - they have tons of information on working through cancer treatments from a legal and practical standpoint - http://www.cancerandcareers.org/en

    Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or concerns. 

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited November 2012

    Thanks for posting that link LindaKR.  I haven't seen that before and it has some useful info. for the working woman.

    firework1068, I'm not sure who here had  situation like yours.  We'll have to see.  Tht is some good news for you and your family, good luck to you.  I went thru' my cancer with teen hellions raised by me from the get-go.  I did not find the teen years to be very ideal, but I survived those too.  Now, with both of mine out of teenhood, I have recently been reaping the benefits of their maturity, with my older boy being especially peaceful and loving lately.

  • Eph3_12
    Eph3_12 Member Posts: 4,781
    edited November 2012

    firework-or he could go typical teen-dom & go alien on you!  Be prepared!

  • Eph3_12
    Eph3_12 Member Posts: 4,781
    edited November 2012

    Looks like I'm on the right with the short white hair!

  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 7,859
    edited November 2012

    Diana, foob deflation? Do you still have TEs/

  • LindaKR
    LindaKR Member Posts: 1,577
    edited November 2012

    I just received this today from the ACS about cancer and the work place - I think it might be helpful for those of you still working also - http://images.delivery.net/cm50content/19439/59252/page1.html?acx_mid=198364&acx_rid=1-2P9KKOF

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited November 2012

    cindyl, I hate to be the bearer of bad news and burst your happy bubble, but there is NO "magical" 5-year mark in breast cancer!!! There is NO cure for breast cancer. That's why there are "Run for the Cure" races all around the world. Breast cancer is a different beast, they don't even use the term remission anymore. You are NED if you have no evidence of disease. That's it. You have breast cancer until the day you die of something else, though most of us say we "had" breast cancer. As to this 5-year mark, I am ER+ which is a slower growing breast cancer and my dangerous time is coming up NOW at year 4. This is the time I would be more apt to recur, the further out I get. So I have to be more vigilant now. In fact my onc has brought me to 6 month visits instead of yearly.

    firework, be prepare for how much they EAT!!! My sons are 30 and 31, but I remember we'd have a roast beef dinner with mashed potatoes and gravy and veggies and then they'd get up from the table and make some pizza pops!!!! Also, they sleep a LOT!!! Don't be scared and don't try to keep them awake. They NEED that sleep. Good luck!!!

  • Cindyl
    Cindyl Member Posts: 1,194
    edited November 2012

    Oh, I know that it's just that a lot of studies talk about 5 year survival, 10 year survival, etc., and none of us have made 5 years yet, it's just so discouraging that we are our own little hot spot.

  • marlegal
    marlegal Member Posts: 2,264
    edited November 2012

    firework, good luck with that...I hope you can keep up, but also recognize your limits at the same time.

    Lorall, I did work during chemo (8 rounds). I'd have my infusion on Thurs and not work that day, but would work Fri. Sat/Sun were generally my "I feel it" days so it worked out well for me. When I did rads, I was fortunate enough to be able to work from  home. The hosp where I did tx was close, so I'd go early for the zaps and be home by 9:30. I took short-term disability and only worked about 25 hours a week. Lots of factors to consider and you need to do whatever works for you.

    Cindy, I know the fact is there's no cure for breast cancer, but I have no doubt in my mind that I rid my body of cancer through my course of surgery, chemo and radiation. It's been over 7 yrs for me and who knows if I'll get news to the contrary someday, but that's my belief and it serves me well! I'm a firm believe in a positive attitude having a huge impact on physical health and well-being so if I choose to wear these rose-colored glasses for this issue, I'm fine with that! Of course, that being said, I still see my surgeon every 6 mos so her trained eagle eyes (and fingers) can keep me on the right path too. Once I finished my course of tamox, I was discharged by my med onc, so I'm fine with my surgeon keep close tabs on me. I'll look forward to celebrating with you when YOU are 5 yrs out :)

  • Cindyl
    Cindyl Member Posts: 1,194
    edited November 2012

    marlegal - smart attitude!  I try to believe that cancer has been shoved out of my life. Most days I'm pretty confident. I'm doing stuff that's supposed to help, tamoxifein, better food choices, exercise. With luck it will never come knocking on my door again, but if it does?  Well every day I spend worrying now is one more day cancer steals. 

  • Dianarose
    Dianarose Member Posts: 2,407
    edited November 2012

    Marlegal- I like your positive additude. I was feeling down today as I have to have my left foob deflated tomorrow so I get do the mapping on Friday to start rads. Someone hacked into my bank account and got 60.00 and then tried to get 99.00 out later, but my checked hadn't gone in yet. Thank God. Now I have had to cancel my debit card and checking account and the bank is working on it. Then I was watching TV and a dam mouse ran accross the living room floor. I have an old house and they manage to get in. I hate them. Traps will be set tomorrow.

    Your post made me feel better. Thanks.

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited November 2012

    You know, the whole 5 year thing is more suited to some cancers and less suited to others.  It's really not that well-suited to B/C for those who have ER+/PR+ because the recurrences can be much further out than 5 years.  I still think the 5-year mark is meaningful because I have to reach that before I can reach the 10-year mark, then the 15-year, then the 20-year.  So first things first...get me to 5 years.

    I requested my 3 tiny tatts today.  The one side was a heart with "Mom" written on it.  The other side was a bluebird, so I'll always be able to find my happiness.  And for the middle one, I just said "surprise me."  I can't quite get the magnifying glass around my backside to see what's in that final freckle (see below, left) so maybe you can tell me.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited November 2012

    Marlegal, why are you seeing a doc every six months then? That seems often for being 7 years out! I don't WORRY about it recurring, but I am vigilant. I am stunned by women who say they were "blindsided" by breast cancer. Are you kidding me??? You have breasts!! You are female. You are getting older! It's more like WHEN are you going to get breast cancer!! I wasn't blind-sided at all and moved quickly once it was found. No hesitation or confusion or a scramble to research my options. Any female that isn't aware right now of their chances is a fool. 

    Sorry, I seem a bit cranky about this, but like I said, it still amazes me when a woman is surprised. Heredity accounts for only about 8% of breast cancers. How can you feel "safe" just because it isn't in your family?? Maybe the organizations are right and AWARENESS still needs to be funded! I'd rather see all that money go into CURE, but obviously some people haven't kept up with the times...sigh.

    I NEVER said "why me?", in fact it was more like "why not me?" I never cried as that is a waste of energy and cancer didn't "take anything" from me except my breasts. I was prepared for a double mast the second cancer and my name were in the same sentence and it was done 6 days later. I don't moon and gloom over a recurrence chance, but like I said, I'm aware and vigilant. If you are vigilant, then you are just like me!! Marlegal, you think about it or you wouldn't see your doc every six months. Sure our bodies are rid of cancer, but they know the recipe.

    Off my soap box and apologies to anyone I've pissed off tonight. I just prefer to be a realist. Rose coloured glasses are for real life, not breast cancer...hehehehheeee (notice they're PINK!!!!)

  • Cindyl
    Cindyl Member Posts: 1,194
    edited November 2012

    WWe do a Christmas tree contest on campus every year.  Here's this years entry.

  • Valjean
    Valjean Member Posts: 1,898
    edited November 2012

    "LE with lumpectomy - not unless they cut or screw up (twist?) your lymph flow system. Some lumpectomies may take out a node within the breast tissue but that would be a pretty deep lumpectomy!"

    I must say that I had 5 nodes removed when I had my lumpectomy & it was not due to a screw up or a deep lumpectomy. It all depends on where the lumpectomy is done; mine was close to the surface at the ten o'clock outer quadrant of the rb.   

    And even if one does not have nodes removed with a lumpectomy, if they have Rads near or that encompasses the lymph node system, they are at risk for LE. I know of one sister who had no nodes removed at all but had Rads after a lumpectomy & developed LE two years later.

    Sorry for the rant, I just wanted to insert my two cents.  

  • Dianarose
    Dianarose Member Posts: 2,407
    edited November 2012

    http://www.annarbor.com/news/fear-worry-may-be-driving-women-to-over-treat-breast-cancer-university-of-michigan-study-shows/

    This article made me angry this morning. I think it should be our choice if we want both breast removed even if it is for piece of mind. I love the part where they say if it comes back a 2nd round that most of us would be cured. Again, I must have missed the article that said they found a cure. They are going to spend 13.6 million on a new interactive decision making tool. Why not take the money and find a cure and then we won't have to make these life altering decisions.

  • WaveWhisperer
    WaveWhisperer Member Posts: 898
    edited November 2012

    Surprised to learn that lymphedema can show up so far out from surgery. Will the poster who had it appear 2 years later bump her comment, or share more info? One more thing to worry about!!!



    Thanks!!!



    (And while my Oncotype score was a low 8, I did have node involvement and chose chemo, in consultation with my MO...just wanted to throw everything at the bc. Now 9 months PFC and on Arimidex and in Metformin clinical trial...)

  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 7,859
    edited November 2012

    Diana, grumble, grumble on that article.

    1. It wasn't the fear of recurrence that drove me mainly. It was the description of what follow-up would be on the "good" breast - mammos every 3 months, with biopsy of anything suspicious. Sounds so fun! Not!

    2. I had a bad feeling about that boob. Clinically I did not have the factors necessary for a BMX, but I insisted and the "good" boob turned out to have both hyperplasia, LCIS and DCIS. It was, in fact, the timebomb I thought it was.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited November 2012

    Valjean, good point about rads to add to the risk of LE. I had rather large breasts and was under the impression that my nodes were closer to the chest wall (where my tumour was!) I thought nodes were more in the muscular part and not the fatty part. Though, if someone had smaller breasts then that would cover both areas!

    LE has been known to show up as late as 20 YEARS later!!! Though how they can truly "blame" a surgery that old....

    I removed both breasts for symmetry and to avoid reconstruction or prosthesis. I wish they'd ask "real" people their thoughts before they write the articles! (My "good" breast was full of ADHP and was the one they were watching all those years...doi!)

    Wave, as soon as you have node involvement that trumps any Oncotype score so you did what most of us would do.

    Just want to add to my rather harsh comments from last night:

    You get a  mammogram to check for breast cancer. How can you not be thinking about cancer while you sit there?

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited November 2012

    Looks like everyone woke up nice and feisty this morning.

    That article...did they look for the most simple-minded doc they could find?  Besides what has already been mentioned, I thought it absolutely moronic for Dr. Sabel to have said, “All it takes is one person to say, ‘I wish I had just had both breasts removed,” as a reason a woman would choose BMx.  Ha!  You have just been robbed of your ability to reason.  (In a related article, there has been an increase of women randomly jumping off of piers as well.  Wink)  He makes it clear that no one really cares about or peace-of-mind either.

    However, did you catch the last paragraph?  "Using part of a $13.6 million National Cancer Institute grant, Hawley’s team will be working to develop an online interactive decision-making tool intended to help women diagnosed with breast cancer choose which course of treatment is best for them."  Aren't they worried that all it will take is one online decision making tool and women will heed that and be getting BMx like the mindless sheep they are portraying us as?

    I do think that Sabel's comment about there not being a need to rush to a decision is a good one, however he mucks it up by saying a woman can take about a month to decide.  Hey, let's just pull some time frame out of thin air.  Did he just go for an average of all women?  Some could take much longer (I know for a fact that my lump was in there not doing much for 8 mos.,) while there could be some that taking even a month would be risking spread. 

    Well, we are insiders now.  We have the perspective and the knowledge.  It's awfully hard to read these lame articles.

    Cindyl,  I like that book tree. 

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited November 2012

    Got my PET scan this morning.  So that is 6 scans in the last 10 days (7 if you count the CT for my rads sim.)   I'm bored.  The only thing about this one is that now I'll be radioactive for a while.  As if my brain wasn't wayward enough before, it's radioactive now.  Watch out!

    Bummer to learn that even tho' I have a port, it can't get used for nuclear medicine, so I got a needle stick anyway.  I make them pick a new vein each time (no copycats!) and this time it punctured through and she had to do it again.  Even tho' it was no big deal, I got a big surprise when I started to feel like I might go into the tunnel (and faint.)  I didn't because I had my head between my knees immediately.  Then, no one told me I would have to go into the "quiet toom" and could not even read my book or do the Sodoku I had brought to pass the time.  Ho hum!  Now it's wait, wait, wait to find out how my liver is doing and what's up with that node in my chest?  My imaging center is a bunch of slowpokes unfortunately.  I'll just have to remain calm and hopefully I will have only good results to share.

  • Beckers
    Beckers Member Posts: 1,883
    edited November 2012

    Oh that article made me soooo angry too!!!!!! I let them twist my arm into having bilateral lumpectomies....against my wishes..... took time to recover and then got a second opinion after hearing what rads could do (as I have bilat BC), changed treatment centers and the surgeon completely respected my wishes for BMX. I could have been back to work months ago!!!!!! Breast conservation? Maybe for some but it is MY choice. I hated those things....they tried to kill me!!!!!!!! Ugh!!!!!! Im gonna get a refill on my coffee.

  • vanstrada54
    vanstrada54 Member Posts: 68
    edited November 2012

    Hi  Just lurking about   and hope I can introduce  myself  !  waving from  Qld  Australia .  I am 58   and  on my birthday  4th Oct  this year  I was diagnosed with  Multi  Cancer  in Left breast . No symptoms beforehand   they  found it in my annual mammogram !  Within a month I was in   hospital  having  the left  breast  off . No biggy  I thought . The  playpen  and now the playground have  past the use by date   and as long as it   "fixes "the problem    all will be good .Must be honest   I  am also recovering  PTSD from  surviving the grantham  Floods  last year . My husband Peter and I  were in our house   while  the water was moving it off the foundations ,we finally  settled   in a farmers field  in  8 feet high  water  hanging on to a fridge  while  screaming for help ! Quite frankly  after surviving that ordeal  of   3 hours  with  a rebroken wrist  and all the other horrors of the past  18 months ,the diagnosis  of cancer did not even compute ! I have been brought to earth with a thud !  I  am not a quitter  by any stretch of the imagination but on the other hand  I  also  enjoy the fruits of my life    and  don't want to compromise that  by putting myself  through the torture of Chemo ! If my time is up    my  attitude   is I have  had a extremely good life  with many blessings so   I am ready , trouble is   nobody  else can accept that ! I have learnt very quickly  that you  have to become self centred  with cancer . It is not what  other people want for you  it is what is best for me  ?  Quality more than quantity  is my catch cry  and  it is hard for  others to accept that  too .  Hoping  we vcan help each other on this unplanned part of our journey  . Thanks  . Marie   from down under !

  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 25,634
    edited November 2012

    Oh Eli...I can relate to you about the nuclear medicine incident.....After 2 technicians tried,,,didn't work.....they had to call a nurse which at that moment I was almost fainting...did the same thing you did.........they put me on the table for the test......I was scared and my eyes were closed when I opened them...I see this Santa Claus looking man sitting next to me.....I thought I was totally losing it...

    It happened to be a DR.........Innocent

    Port was only used for chemo because for regular BW nobody wants to touch it.........

    Glad it's over.....Hugs♥

  • vanstrada54
    vanstrada54 Member Posts: 68
    edited November 2012

    Totally agree  with you  Barbe  . I was not    surprised by the diagnosis ,I have my  regular mammograms   and it is always there at the back of your mind   the stastitics .What does blindside  is  all the tests they put you through   ,some of them are worse than the cancer ! And what is all for anyway  ? As my   breast care nurse says  we  all are going to die  and so  we  also  all have to die of something ! I like her attitude . If from this things can be learnt to make it better for the next generation I am all for it .I would love to see research go into better options than chemo ! The biggest   beef I have  is  most of my life  I  have   lived  chemically free   mostly natural   life   avoiding  "cancer   prone " things . Now  because of my diagnosis  the   option is  this poisonous vicious   cocktail of    chemical that supposedly is going to save me ! Surely there has to be  a better way to survive  our time here on earth ? I realise that maybe  because of my age  my   reasoning is different. But   Quality is always superior to quantity in my book ! And that doesn't  mean I have given up  or   anything like that  it  just means  for  me  life is to be enjoyed not endured. Have a great   day or night depending on where you are  !

  • vanstrada54
    vanstrada54 Member Posts: 68
    edited November 2012

    We know our bodies   better than anybody else   yet  we are treated like children that don't know anything ! Hate the patronising attitude  !

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited November 2012

    vanstrada54, welcome!  What a year you have had!!!  I have never been in a flood.  I have never had PTSD. I also have never had chemo with my B/C, but I am about to have it for colorectal cancer.  I have to have it to give myself the best outcome from future surgery to remove it.  I'm afraid of chemo, but I am more afraid of cancer just going wild in my body.  Now I'm going to get right to my point and my opinion:  I don't think you should pass on the chemo without trying it.  No one here will ever tell you that chemo is fun, but a lot of the women will tell you that you can come out on the other side of it and that many if not all of the side effects do go away and you get your life back.  Sometimes it is even an improved version of your old life.  You cannot just assume that it will be terrible; you cannot assume your life not have quality to it.  I can tell you quite honestly that even with the crappy (and I mean crappy!) turn my life has taken recently, I am still laughing way more than I am crying.

    I think you might be feeling overwhelmed by your last year, but I would urge you to consider trying chemo.  If it turns out to be unbearable, you can stop it; but what if the surprise is that you can handle it o.k.?  You didn't hang onto that fridge just to let B/C get the upper hand, did you?

    I don't think you have made your final decision about treatment yet, so I hope you will consider something that has the ability to extend your years.  I always hope for the best life for all women who face this disease, but ultimately only the individuals truly know what the best choice is for themselves.  We are here if you do need to deliberate a while.

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited November 2012

    Dianarose, I meant to tell you that my chemo will be flouracil like you had, but mine won't be mixed with anything else.  Mine is called 5-FU, and that better not stand for 5 F'd Up side effects, but you can bet I will be tallying them up! 

  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 7,859
    edited November 2012

    Eli, wake up! It stands for FU 5 times ;)

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