Just diagnosed. Mom is in stage four!!!

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  • susan_02143
    susan_02143 Member Posts: 7,209
    edited May 2006
    566,

    Glad to hear that your mother has kept her sense of humor and is doing well.

    Thank you for the update,

    *susan*
  • cowgirl
    cowgirl Member Posts: 777
    edited May 2006
    566,
    Keep smiling, and keep her laughing!
  • didda566
    didda566 Member Posts: 102
    edited May 2006
    Mom isn't feeling well. She feels that there is so much going on. She travels into town every week, twice. The kids and I went to visit yesterday, but she was in bed all day. She just isn't feeling herself. Today she was in and found out that she isn't eating the proper foods to get the warfarin to work. So now we add the dietician to her group of "prodders". She also has to see the surgeon who will perform the masectomy.
    I was talking to her today. She is feeling better than yesterday, but still not great.
    My poor Mom.
  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited May 2006
    Poor sweetie,
    Yes the treatments are accumulative and she is most likely feeling the effects. Rest, rest, rest .
    Hope Mom feels better soon

    hugs, Carrie
  • KariLynn
    KariLynn Member Posts: 1,079
    edited May 2006

    Hope she gets feeling better soon!

  • didda566
    didda566 Member Posts: 102
    edited June 2006
    Mom is walking again!!
    I could hear her beaming through the phone. She was busy telling me all the places she was walking inside her own house.
    Her leg doctor told her she could now put 50% of her weight on it. She is thrilled.
    She goes to see the surgeon on Wednesday regarding a masectomy. Is it possible they will only do a partial masectomy? She thinks they will only take the lesion.
    I am frustrated that her doctor came out and told her that he wouldn't be curing her, only managing her condition. I am frustrated that she asked to have both breasts removed and he put her aside saying it wasn't necessary. The more I meet him, the less I like him.
    She is just a patient to him. She is a Mom, Granny, wife, aunt and daughter. He doesn't see this.
    I reminded her tonight that there is a 20% cure rate. She needs the positive.
    We will go and visit her tomorrow. She needs us. (But not as much as I need her).
    No tears for me tonight... I hope.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2006
    566,

    Important information !

    There was a recent release and it said that even if DX with mets, people who have a mastectomy live longer.

    I think there was also a thread on this but "not" certain.
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2006

    I saw that thread too. Think it was under Mets/recurrence.

  • didda566
    didda566 Member Posts: 102
    edited June 2006
    Mom met with her surgeon today. He said that her lumps and lesions are healing. Mom said he seemed surprised. Anyway, he is removing one breast. I told Mom to ask for the removal of both (as this is what she wanted), but instead, she didn't ask.
    I want to tell her to stick up for herself!!! It seems to me that she should get what she wants. But she lets the doctors do all the thinking.
    She is still excited about walking on her leg. We went to visit on Tuesday and she walked out to the kitchen, the other room, around the living room, then back to bed.
    She is cold a lot lately. And she was getting nauseous last week too.
    If anyone knows where that thread is, please let me know. I was looking around for an hour or more, but found nothing on it (although found lots of nifty other threads!!!)
  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited June 2006
    Just click on the link -

    http://community.breastcancer.org/ubbthr...ge=1#Post333499

    There is the link sweetie~

    Hugs,
    Carrie

  • didda566
    didda566 Member Posts: 102
    edited June 2006
    Thanks so much!
    It seems sometimes that I am always reading, checking out something or other. I was talking to Mom today and she wanted to have a masectomy, but the doctor originally told her it wasn't worth it. Then he decided that she needed a partial one, to remove the (large) lesion. When she met with the surgeon, he is taking the entire breast. She is happy with this decision, mainly because he made it.
    Originally, she wanted to have both removed, but wouldn't bring it up with the doctor.
    I have talked to her about it, but she refuses to ask and says he knows what he is doing.
    Should I push it? Should I go for the next consult and ask for her (she wouldn't mind, as she isn't the one asking.) or should I just leave her be and accept her non-decisive decision making? I am so confused.
  • didda566
    didda566 Member Posts: 102
    edited June 2006
    We went today to Mom's fourth and last chemo. I spoke to her doctor. I am so frustrated. He told us that with a stage four patient, the object is to slow down, without looking at curing. The only reason Mom was recommended for a masectomy is because the cancer has eaten away at half of her breast.
    She starts Tamoxifen in three weeks. Masectomy scheduled for July.
    I cannot believe she has endured this cancer growing for so long. I would have been terrified. And at the same time, I am frustrated that she waited so long. I keep thinking that if she hadn't, we (her whole family) wouldn't be going through this now.
    But, we cannot think like that as it doesn't change the present. Mom is still upbeat. She figures she will show him a cured stage 4 patient.
    Any tricks of the trade, things she can expect with Tamoxifen? He wants to try it first because it is cheaper and she isn't on a drug plan.
  • bellavida
    bellavida Member Posts: 41
    edited June 2006

    My mom was just diagnosed with stage iv bc and I can understand your frustration with this disease...your mom reminds me of mine, always upbeat no matter what. thank you for your posts.

  • didda566
    didda566 Member Posts: 102
    edited June 2006

    Any pointers on either? Both are coming up. Tamoxifen in three weeks, masectomy early July.

  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited June 2006
    I wish I could help sweetie
    but my sis is taking Arimidex for the next 5 years
    Why don't you try posting this in help me through treatment, maybe you could get a better response
    lots of ladies there that are taking tamoxifen and my sis had a partial mast. so I can't help alot there either. I do know she will need help with alot of things at first.

    Wish I could have been more help

    Hugs,
    Carrie
  • cowgirl
    cowgirl Member Posts: 777
    edited June 2006

    I would still push for double mast, it will help her cope mentally knowing her breast tissue has been removed. Especially if she wanted it. Tamox is a rough drug for some but a mild one for others. My mom took it five years. Expect hot flashes, dryness of all skin, some nausea maybe. Watch out for signs of neuropathy, it is a painful condition that the oncologist can treat. Lets pray your mom will do well on Tamox!

  • didda566
    didda566 Member Posts: 102
    edited June 2006
    Her doctor is firm on the single mast. He told us (basically) that Mom was lucky she got chemo AND drugs. Usually they don't do both on a stage 4. I realize that he is speaking statistically about treatment, but to me, Mom isn't a statistic.
    Can you stay indefinitely on Tamoxifen??? Everywhere I read, people are only on it for a definite period of time.
  • nowheregirl
    nowheregirl Member Posts: 894
    edited June 2006

    Can't you get a second opinion? Sorry if it sounds offensive but to me, her doctor doesn't look good. Doctors who say things that only disappoint their patients never be able to be good partners to fight this battle with. I'm sure there are many good ones that are willing to fight against this damn disease with your mom.

  • cowgirl
    cowgirl Member Posts: 777
    edited June 2006

    The normal course is 5 years on Tamox, but with stage 4 it could be different.

  • didda566
    didda566 Member Posts: 102
    edited June 2006

    I don't know if because of medicare whether or not we can ask for a new doctor, or even a second opinion?

  • cowgirl
    cowgirl Member Posts: 777
    edited June 2006

    You might ask on the Canadian board about that, I don't know about it. Hopefully you will get the answer and treatment you need.

  • didda566
    didda566 Member Posts: 102
    edited June 2006
    I don't know why I even asked. I am sure that Mom wouldn't allow a change.
    She goes for a second cat scan next on July 5 and then a visit to Dr. Grumpy on the 7th. From him she will get her prescription to tamoxifen. She is stil waiting to hear when her masectomy will occur.
  • Curlylocks
    Curlylocks Member Posts: 1,060
    edited June 2006
    Yes you most definitely can get a second or third opinion in Canada. You are not stuck with a doctor that you dont like or trust.

    Michele Wenz
  • cowgirl
    cowgirl Member Posts: 777
    edited June 2006

    Michele Thanks for helping out!

  • didda566
    didda566 Member Posts: 102
    edited June 2006
    Mom won't change doctors. There is only one cancer treatment center in PEI and the doctors all work together.
    I just pray that Mom stays strong.
    It can be difficult here, not knowing anyone else dealing with this. I hate to burden my friends, and I don't want to steal Mom's optimism by talking too much about things. I talk to my husband, and he is very supportive, but does he have any advice, or experience in this? No.
    This really sucks. Sometimes I think about those two years the doc promised Mom and think OMG! 1/8 of the time is gone now. Man, now I am whining. I hate it when I get upset about this.
    I am going to bed. I will be cheerful again in the morning. I will just chant my "two days left with the students" song.
    By the way, how long does a doctor normally wait before checking the size of mets tumors?
    Mom gets a second cat scan in two weeks, but as for the bones, the doctor said sometime they will re-check. What in the heck kind of answer is that??????
    Seriously, I have to go to bed.
  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited June 2006
    Is Mom still taking chemo I can't remember?

    I can't remember if My sister's onc said this or if I read this but I think that chemo will mess with scans if taken too soon . I wish I could give you an answer about the mets but I think it is after a course of treatment they check again to see if it has responded. Go ask this on the met board I know they will be able to better help
    I have been zero help but wanted to bump you up so more would see
  • KariLynn
    KariLynn Member Posts: 1,079
    edited June 2006

    I get new bone scans every three months but have heard of others who get them every six so I'd guess somewhere in there is when your mom will get hers.

  • didda566
    didda566 Member Posts: 102
    edited June 2006

    Mom has a scan to see the lungs next week. I don't understand why they aren't checking the bone mets too.

  • didda566
    didda566 Member Posts: 102
    edited June 2006
    Mom is set for July 6th for a "simple mastectomy". I don't understand why she isn't having lymph nodes taken out too.
    I spent the day with her at the hospital going through all of the pre-tests. I was the noisy one, interrupting with questions, comments and information that Mom didn't ask.
    I am glad I was there. I have to say that I am not happy that I know my way around the hospital the way I do.
    This year has been quite challenging. Brenna, my (then four) daughter has a grand Mal seizure in Sept. Matt choked on a candy in October, I was diagnosed with hypothryoidism in November, Mom was diagnosed in March, and my Grandmother died in April.
    One week and then Mom is in the hospital again. I am praying for her every day. She is a strong woman.
  • didda566
    didda566 Member Posts: 102
    edited June 2006

    Both Brenna and Matt are fine now, btw.

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