Starting chemo November 2012
Comments
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A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day,
drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother. As
they talked about life, about marriage, about the
responsibilities of life and the obligations of
adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her
glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance
upon her daughter.
'Don't forget your Sisters,' she advised, swirling
the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. 'They'll
be more important as you get older. No matter how
much you love your husband, no matter how much you
love the children you may have, you are still going
to need Sisters. Remember to go places with them now
and then; do things with them.'
'Remember that 'Sisters' means ALL the women...
your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other
women relatives too. 'You'll need other women. Women
always do.'
What a funny piece of advice!' the young woman
thought. Haven't I just gotten married?
Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a
married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely
my husband and the family we may start will be all I
need to make my life worthwhile!'
But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact
with her Sisters and made more women friends each
year. As the years tumbled by, one after another,
she gradually came to understand that her Mom really
knew what she was talking about. As time and nature
work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman,
Sisters are the mainstays of her life.
After more than 40 years of living in this world,
here is what I've learned:
THIS SAYS IT ALL:
Time passes.
Life happens.
Distance separates.
Children grow up.
Jobs come and go.
Love waxes and wanes.
Men don't do what they're supposed to do.
Hearts break.
Parents die.
Colleagues forget favors.
Careers end.
BUT.........
Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how
many miles are
between you. A girl friend is never farther away
than needing her can reach.
When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you
have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life
will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on,
praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on
your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the
valley's end.
Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk
beside you...Or come in and carry you out.
Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters,
daughters-in- law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers,
Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended
family, all bless our life!
The world wouldn't be the same without women, and
neither would I. When we began this adventure called
womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or
sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we
would need each other.
Every day, we need each other still. Pass this on
to all the women who help make your life meaningful.
I just did.Happy Thanksgiving to my BC sisters!
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Yes thanks Michelle for starting this group. I was sad to see the December group start up.... Asif we could be the last of the unlucky.
Tired from long but memorable day. SHAVING party! Buzz ball? Tears in the morning, so scared but ready since long hair already thinning. Girlfriend picked me up for long drive to meet other girlfriend (invited only the most nurturing longterm friends) at Wig salon. Other friend (who finally flew home after helping me when hubby away) left gift to open enroute - my fave wine, cups and opener. Braved a glass at wigsalon and one friend held hair to collect and donate while lovely owner buzzed it off. We laughed and cried and felt my fuzzy head and trimmed my wig- then went to my first lunch out. Got home feeling secure and relieved its over. A day ill cherish. In sleeping cap now.
Junebug, ill join you in the radiation group end of Feb.
Blood tests good, little anemic but permission to go out more plus use the ulcer med proactively - and Claritin -tho doc said Neulasta shot has less SE's after the first round.
Diagnosed thru routine mammo but almost too small to biopsy - but did and it tripled in size by first surgery. Timing!
Oh Keetmom and Soteria i am so sorry for your hardship
. It seems caregiving is toxic. I thought i had a healthy lifestyle but Im also caretaker: grew up taking care of suicidal mom, 1st husband (19 years) also suicidal and ptsd from Vietnam, alchoholic and abusive, daughter suicidal (better now) other struggling thru psych and health crisises -but is maturing as she has to help take care of me. Our turn to take better care of ourselves, right?
Happy thanksgiving all - im so thankful that we are alive and will beat this. And for all of your support and kinship. Xo -
Sorry about the long post!
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soteria, we do have similar dx and there are sure to be more nodes postive for me when I have my mx and axillary dissection down the road. What did they do in the time between July 27 and your mx? And you are amazing! I hope you are getting back some of the caregiving now?
soteria and adagio I was just reading about the antinausea drugs in my Intelligent Guide to Breast Cancer (this is the book we are given here in Canada) and both Emend and Ativan are mentioned for nausea.
adagio I have never had nausea/vomiting so maybe the extra drug? Hard to say. Hope you have a way better night.
We just had our daughter and boyfriend and friends over for a spaghetti dinner and a board game. Did not feel like it earlier but glad we did as it was an early night but fun.
Marian -
Wow, there is always so much to comment on. People's stories, the difficulties, theย happy little moments many are still experiencing. Amazing.
I will be joining the others in the end of Feb radiation group, if chemos stay on schedule.
Small tidbit for the people out there who are avoiding infections: the doctor who is caring for me when I amย at homeย (not my man ofย few wordsย MO) told me to wash my nose out with saline morning and evening. She said the nose captures and stores bacteria and viruses, and by doing the rinse, you can really decrease your chances of getting sick. It's a bit uncomfortable, but otherwise easy.
Thanks for tidbit on wheatgrass. In addition to sourcing neupogen, I will see if any there are anyย restaurants out there in this city that serve that up! I wonder if i can buy it in singapore and somehow bring it back...
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The Nose Knows: Megan, Wish I had done the saline rinse yesterday..I am so sick and today is Thanksgiving - good thing I'm not the cook this year.ย ย Taking benedryl, slept most of the night.ย I must get well because my nextย chemo is Tuesday.
TLYM thank you for the beautiful story Sister - have a wonderful Thanksgiving Sister
Sick of Pink - only you would have your hair buzzed off in such style -ย glad your "sisters" are there to help you through - now go buy some cute dangly earrings...and a nice hat!
My Hair is coming out in handfuls - I have to get it buzzed tomorrow for sure or maybe I'll let my daughter do it (or not) after we have our familyย dinner todayย - what's everyone else doing about your hair!!!
Adiago I feel so bad that you were so sick - do you think you drank too much water or because you didn't have the right antinausea meds?
All caregivers
- here is a toast to you, may you always have the strength to care for those you love andย enough leftover to care for yourself - God BlessHope I didn't forget anyone, I couldn't scroll back far enough...Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
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Happy Thanksgiving to all my Sisters! I'm so thankful for each and every one of you.
Thanks for sharing a part of your lives with me.
Marianeliza my husband started a new job 5 days after my dx, so the only medical coverage I had was Medicare. I asked the BS if I could wait until we had insurance in oct. he was ok with that, but wanted me doing something, so the mo started me on arimidex. I took it for a month or so before surgery. I'm off it now until after treatment.
The bad thing is the job didn't work out, so I still have only Medicare.
Sickofpink I'm glad you had such great friends around you while going through a difficult time. I'm getting my hair cut very short next week. Donating to LOCKS of LOVE.
MeganB that's good to know about the saline, and it makes perfect sense. I know that most viruses, including staff infections like cellulitis, are carried in the nose.
5luvbugs let us know how the buzzing goes. I pray you have an easy time of it.
Tlym thanks for the Sisters Story.
Be Blessed
Paula -
Hi MeganBย
Along with saline solution it helps to sleep with humidifer in your bedroom especially if you have dry winters like we do in the midwest. ย The humidity keeps your nostrils from drying out too and helps prevent infections.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone - WE are all still standing after all the drugs, poking and proding!
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Hi !ย
after discovering a lump under my arm pit in early september, therefore undergoing tests I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer on the 3rd october, recovering after lumpectomy surgery that also included removing my lymph nodes.I went yesterurday to receive results of the biopsy of the surgery, surgeon informed me that it all looks well but because of my age - 36 and the fact it affected my lymph nodes that as well as radio and a small op again due to the margins , I am now looking to start a 6 cycle course of chemo so one session every 3 weeks to which has come as quite a shock because the first thing I thought of was the aspect of losing my hair......not because I am vain but of the opinion that all the time I look like me nobody needs to know any different but by losing your hair it becomes more obvious something is wrong......I have an appointment next tuesday to meet nurses to discuss exactly what to expect and treatments that are available to me, one bing the "cold cap " which if I am honest I would like to try anything if it will help in some way , just feel a bit anxious of the unknown ahead really - so any advice would be a great help !ย
Shelleyย
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Thankful-
Routine mammo for me. I started having them at 32 because my sister 8 years old for dx at 40. For some strange reason I missed last year so I made sure I went this year. Thank god stage one who know if I went last year and skipped this year ... Yikes !!! -
Adagio- sending you hugs.ย So sorry you're having to deal with the nausea.ย
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I had a lot of catching up to do!.. My attention span is short and all over the place so please forgive me if I forget to mention a name in regards to previous posts..
Soteria, Dakota & 5luvbugs- Thank you for the posts the other day!
Wendy- I'm "happy" to see you here
Thankful- Give your daughter a fist bump for me, she sounds like an awesome young lady! I feel the same as you. The BMX was "nothing" compared to what's about to happen with my hair. I have always been a hair twirler, my friends even joke about it!
In regards to hair loss, I've always lost "gobs" of hair on a regular basis.ย Even when my aunt helped wash my hair after the BMX she was shocked at the amount of hair I lose daily..
Now it's time to vent... My mom has been gone for a 3 month "vacation" in Japan visiting friends and family. Just after she left is when I went for the mammo/ultrasounds, biopsies, diagnosis and then bmx... Everyone but me seemed to be pissed that she didn't cut her trip short to be with daughter.. Her only contact with me was an occasional email which were very short.ย So finally we are at the airport to pick her up and as she walked up I broke down and started to cry (overwhelmed with everything)
All she said was, you'll be fine, don't worry.. then as we walked towards the escalator she says to me.. "Well I've always been an A cup until I gained all of this weight, so I know what that's like." (she's been like a C/D cup for the last 15 years)... I just ignored her.ย I think I was hoping that she would come back a "changed" person but that didn't happen... In my last email, I asked if we could have a quiet Thanksgiving since she always invites her friends over... Her response in that email was.. Well I invited them several months ago, I'm not going to just cancel on them. (I'm sure they would have understood considering the circumstances)
So here I am on the couch all snotty nosed and teary eyed since I wasn't up for being around a bunch of people who would be asking questions and how am I's and so on.. Plus all of the bandages would have just added to the effect.ย
Then to top it off, I've got my sliding glass door open since it's beautiful out. Meanwhile, my neighbors have family over and one of them is on the phone out back and begins to talk smack about my lanai which is very bare and a little dirty (the potted plumeria tree had fallen over and spilled mulch so I put the pot upright but I haven't been up to sweeping the mulch up yet) ... You gotta be effin kidding me?! I wanted to go out there and tell her off.
Ok, it's off my chest. Thank you for letting me vent (sigh) I feel a little better, now only if a good ice cream joint were open!
Hugs everyone, Happy Thanksgiving.ย We are on the right side of the grass and that's what matters!
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@ Thankful,
I felt my boobs up when I was in for my birthcontrol shot at the end of May. (no lumps) Then in the begininng of July my sonย gave me a bear hug and I felt this pain in my right breast so I went into the bathroom and felt this "large" lump.ย Felt different from the little pea sized things I've felt in the past. This was irregular in shape and felt to be around 2cm. Got in for the mammo/ultrasound late Sept. October 1st. went to the breast surgeon and she confirmed I had DCIS and it felt to be about 5cm.ย (yes, I could feel it getting bigger as time went on) Was only supposed to be a BMX then the post op reports showed IDC and 1 node positive. So chemo it is.
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Oh Jenifer. Mothers can be so insensitive can't they? My mum has never been very comforting during my illnesses and treatments and I'd always think 'well if she doesn't care then who will?'. Even this time, she is acting like everything is normal and for me it isn't.
Day 15. Washed my hair and lost about 5 hairs. I wish I knew what was going to happen because the anticipation is killing me.
Got a stuffy nose and just generally tired so definitely have a cold. They say to call the hospital if you feel unwell or have a temperature but I don't see what they can do. I certainly don't want to make a 50 mile round trip to the hospital for them to check me out and send me home again. Will see how I feel tomorrow. I feel an idiot for calling them to say I have a sniffle! -
So just got home from my family Thanksgiving and it was HARD....felt like crying the whole day thinking "Im not goiing to feel like eating at Christmas..." I know I will be ok...but then you still sit and worry....that and I really couldn't help with anything yet...and my port hurts....and I kept thinking about starting chemo on Monday...Please tell me it gets easier!
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Keetmom - I know how you feel.ย I said to my whole family at Thanksgiving:ย "This is probably the last big meal I will eat for a while".ย I start chemo on Tuesday.ย I've already lost 13 pounds since DX and have been trying to gain in preparation for chemo.ย I'm scared about chemo and also am wondering if I can return to work, which I am scheduled to do on December 7th.ย My port was put in yesterday and it hurts too.
JeniferMaya - so sorry about your day and trouble with neighbors and your mom.ย It seems like since BC there are so many bad days.ย Girls keep talking about adjusting to a "new normal".ย That's what I am trying to do, and savor good days.ย Iย know what you mean about "quiet".ย I have refused visitors for 4 weeks since my BMX and feel anxious when I am around people other than immediate family.ย These things will get better....
Wendy
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These down days are better with all of you here.ย Wendy, my port hurts as well. Although I'm wondering if it could be the pressure from the bandages.ย Last night ater waking from my nap I went into the kitchen to write down a small grocery list for my daughter to pick up.ย I suddenly got the cold sweats and my kids had to practically carry me onto the couch. I almost blacked out.ย Maybe due to everything going on, who knows.ย At least I'm feeling better.
I keep tossing around the idea of letting my daughter chop off my hair... It's so long and wavy/curly so the only thing I can do with it is put it up in a loose bun on top of my head since I don't have full range of motion with my arms.ย It's been the "new do" for the past 4 weeks.ย
Michelle, I hate that you can relate but I'm glad you understand.ย Now I don't feel so alone!
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My hair is falling out in handfuls (day 17) - I think I have to get it shaved tomorrow
(Jenifer, Wendy, Keetmom,Michelle and anyone else who needs a mothers hug I am here and I am sending hugs, wrapping my arms around you and letting you cry on my shoulder ((( HUGS))).ย I feel so bad for you girls and since I seem to be the oldest chick on this page, I will gladly be here to support you.ย ย My own mom is almost 91, she's pretty much bedridden and she really doesn't even understand what's going on with meย so she is better off.ย I must say I am so greatful for my family and I have lots of them...
Anyway girls, justย keep your chin up, holidays are alwaysย hard.ย Just keep the faith and look to the future and there will be a future.ย We are in thisย together.ย When I wanted to quit smoking I joined a site www.Quitnet.comย ย and I made friends there and we helped each other through those hard times.ย I never would have made it on my own but with the support of others I/and they have quit smoking after many years.ย I started smoking as a teenager and my quit date was March 6, 2008!!! So as you can see, you are in the right place, we will help each other all the way and sometime down the road, we will remember these days and these new friends will remain special to us.ย We can do this -ย God Bless all of you!
Your Friend Tricia
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5LuvBugs- Thanks "Mom"!ย You made my eyes water but this time in a good way!ย Big hugs right back at you
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Jenifer, Michelle, Keetmom, Wendyย and 5LuvBugs -ย sending huge hugs to you to all.ย Jenifer I'm so sorry your mom is not being more supportive.ย
I probably shouldn't have eaten Thanksgiving dinner.ย ย Day 7 - sinus infection making my head feel like it's stuck under water, stomach crampingย and now just had to took Imodium.ย
Unfortunately, my company does not recognize the Friday after Thanksgiving as a holiday so I need to go to work tomorrow.ย Only good thing - the boss won't be there so it should be a quiet one.ย
Hope everyone has a good evening.
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Jen, sending a bigger hug and a kiss
ย Love Mom-by the way 5luvbugs=my 5 grandchildren ages 1-9, who I love more than I love myself!!ย Junebug - I also have a sinus infection and am taking Benedryl - 25mg daytime 50mg bedtime, I have to get better because my 2nd treatment is Tuesday...Don't know how your working through all of this..
Have a goodnight girls (I may be back later if I can't sleep)
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Junebug- So, the company doesn't see Friday as a part of the holiday but it sounds like your boss does! hehe
5LuvBugs- have you tried using a neti pot?... They aren't fun but it cleans out your sinus cavity (saline solution)
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I'm 2-3 months, 4 cycles ahead of you all......I hope it gets easier for all of you.....I just wanted to give you {{BIG HUGGS}}
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Hi girls-
I haven't gotten the chance to read or respond to everyone. I wanted to let u girls know starting chemo, I had my second treatment yesterday. I feel great. I ate today, waaaayyyyyy to much I gained 5 lbs in two days. The only side effect I have so far is some insomnia. Hence why I am up. My kids are 11, and 8 so I don't like to take the Ativan as I am a single mom and want to be able to wake up and drive in case of emergency but that's just me. We got this girls the meds are here to help and call the docs if u need anything. As far as hair mine come out day 14, 10 to 15 strands at a time and I will probably shave it this weekend. The loss I am have a hard time with because of course I finally have grown it out and I like it. Just today someone said ur fair looks great it has gotten so long- great. It will be gone soon. Ladies all this too shall pass. Sorry for the long post. I will take notes. I am so sorry for those who are having bad side effects today. Tomoorrow is a new day!!! I love u girls !!! -
Oh you poor bugs! Junebug and Luvbug hope you feel better soon. I was just thinking of going out more before round 2 but maybe it's not worth the risk...
JeniferMaya, your hair is so pretty in your picture of course you're worried. But you will look fabulous in a wig! And i know this is the part that makes it real on the outside...:(
The sisters poem really hit me tonight. My mother is also not helpful, my chemo is all about her that's why I enlisted girlfriends so she wouldnt feel she needed to come 'help'
My daughters helped hugely with the dinner but my one had a meltdown about my 'cancer germs' after i touched a slice of turkey - i am cancer free now, this is preventative- so that was odd but it passed and ended well.
They liked my wig and thought my buzzed head was artistic, ha. It is cold though and my nightcap feels silly looking. Locks of love is too picky for my dyed hair so im sending it to a children with hair needs group.
Good night all, thankyou for making this holiday complete. Xo -
txjunebug - thanks for the hugs. I feel so much better now - change of med and a good night's sleep. No more nausea or vomiting - yeah!! Hope your sinus infection clears up soon.
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Adagio-
Sooo glad u got new meds and are feeling better!!! U go girl !! -
Txjunebug -
Hope ur feeling better from ur sinus infection. I am so sorry I am so far behind in keeping up. Feel better!! ((((Big hug))))) -
Keetmom, it's hard to imagine but you will get used to the port- it took just over 2 weeks for me.
Anyone else read the news today about that study saying early detection creates false positives , tumors that might have gone away on their own? Just when i was over the denial....then i remember that an old ex girlfriend of my husband's refused chemo and... Im not a gambler. And it's too late to turn back now...what a relief to be in this together.
My sis stopped by with her girls and hubby who is doing chemo for lung cancer---all alone, no support group or online community. Im so grateful that we have eachother! -
Sickofpink-
My onco type was 32, high so I am doing chemo. My sister was dx at 40 3 tumors same breast refused chemo at 45 reoccurrence now her+, she finished chemo and radiation a year ago. Doing great. I couldn't refuse treatment for fear that I didn't do it now and eveeything i could now. Just me. Just my opionion. This isn't easy. We got this warriors. ๐๐๐
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