my mother just diagnosed 2 weeks ago

Hi Dave,

I'm so sorry to hear of your moms diagnosis. I can relate- my mom was also diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer back in May. For a while, it seems like life will never be ok again. I remember thinking that it had to be a nightmare, it was just too awful to be real. But as time goes on and a plan of treatment is put into place, things seem less terrifying and more hopeful.

To answer your question about the "2 year" life expectancy, there are many, many people who live for lots of years, with a good quality of life, after a Stage 4 diagnosis. That 2 year statistic is way outdated- I have read on here to stay away from "Dr Google" because there is so much unreliable info out there. Breast cancer treatment has come a long way in recent years. As you get more knowledge about what type of breast cancer your mom has, you can post it here and get more specific details about it. But for each type, there are many treatments to help keep the cancer in check. Some doctors treat Stage 4 breast cancer as a chronic disease now, it's no longer the immediate death sentence it once was seen as. Especially with bone only mets like your mom has-meaning no cancer spread to liver, lungs, other organs- plenty of woman do well for a long, long time. And there are more new drugs being studied all the time, who knows what might come out in the future to stop this cancer. I know how scary it is and that your heart just breaks for your mom, but don't lose hope! Try to go with your mom to Dr appts if possible and if you aren't happy with one doctor, get a second opinion. A good oncologist with a positive attitude is a must. And please keep posting here to let us know how you and your mom are doing.

Hugs and prayers for you both...

Dee

Hi Dave, I know what you're feeling. My mom was first diagnosed a late stage 3 just over 11 years ago. It was a hard diagnosis to take especially as my dad died very unexpectedly from brain cancer just a couple years earlier. She has been cancer-free all along and then last week we took her to the emergency room because of severe shoulder pain and unusual swelling in her clavicle bone. I was worried about cancer recurrence when I saw the swelling which looks more like a lump. The xrays and blood were clear but the doctor ordered a CT scan upon finding out about her previous cancer and right away started using words like "tumor" and "concerned". The next day the CT scan found 3 lytic lesions and a few other things which are indicative of cancer that has spread to the bones and a suspicious but very small lung nodule. We see the oncologist tomorrow to get his take on the scans and get the ball rolling on more tests for a proper diagnosis, but 2 different ER doctors have made it very clear that they believe it's cancer again.

Like your mom, my mom is also a very young, strong and active woman in her 60s (62) and this has me terrified. I have been reading about how long women can live with bone mets and other types of mets with the right treatment, but it's still so scary. It doesn't matter how old we get, our moms are always our moms and seeing them go through anything just, well, sucks balls!! If you read the Stage IV threads you will be able to find loads of information as well as women who are living with mets long past the "2 year expiration date" that we always seem to find when we Google! One woman is going on over 17 years! Many of these women are living full and happy lives and I'm hoping that our mother's can do the same.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk or vent. It sure does help when someone else understands what you're going through

Wishing you and your mom the best.