Worried about my mom

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meg56
meg56 Member Posts: 4
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

Almost 5 years ago my mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer spread to bones and lymph nodes and the lining around her organs. She has responded well to most treatments over the years and has been able to live a great life. Recently, the bone marrow showed progression and her platelets decreased. Her doctor put her on a chemo called erulibin (sorry im not sure how to spell it), and the platelets slowly but surely are starting to come up. Unfortunately though she has noticed fluid build up in her abdomen that has to be drained. Her doctor thinks that though the chemo is working on the bone marrow it is not doing its job on the other cancerous areas. I just am so worried, my mom's attitude has gotten so negative, she says she doesn't believe in God anymore, and she always seems so angry. My mom will be 58 next year and until recently she has been the strongest person i know. It angers me thinking my mom is giving up. Her doctor is most likely going to have to switch her chemo since it is not getting the job done, and i'm worried they won't be able to find a good treatment since her platelets are already so low and most treatments affect platelets in general...

If anyone out there has any advice or knows someone with the same diagnosis as my mom please reply. I am at a loss of how to handle this situation anymore.

-Meg

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  • GoldenGirls
    GoldenGirls Member Posts: 608
    edited November 2012

    I'm so sorry that you have to go through this at all. My mom "beat" stage 3 breast cancer 11 years ago and a trip to the ER for shoulder pain last week has us facing the possibility that the cancer has returned. I have been trying to stay positive for her but it seems that she is feeling pretty hopeless. She doesn't use the internet and really doesn't know much about cancer. She's always been the strongest person I know so, just like you, it's been especially hard seeing her sink so low and act like she's ready to give up -- and we haven't even got the "official" diagnosis yet! I have been reminding her that all we have is a CT that suggests there is cancer in her bones, but until there is a biopsy and more scans there is no actual diagnosis yet. We see the onc tomorrow for the first time and I am dreading it. I know the realty of the situation and that there is a good chance it's cancer and I have tried to make her understand that she can still live many good years, especially as her hormone treatments worked well for her for so long. She doesn't see it. She is still hoping it's not, which makes me very worried for her reaction should it actually be cancer and I am worried because she is acting like she'll be gone by Christmas! No matter what I say or try to tell her about stage 4 cancer, she seems to already have convinced herself it's hopeless and this terrifies me.

    I feel for you and your mom. It's so hard and so very unfair.

    The best advice I can offer is to go to the Stage IV boards and post your story there. The women there are incredible and have tried all kinds of treatments and share thier good and bad stories. You just may find someone who has the same experience. It makes such a difference to know that someone else has been through it and even risen above it. I have been on looking for advice/information/support and it's helping. Now I just need to get my mom on here too!

    Sending you good vibes and hugs.

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