decisions, decisions

@laniek, there is a whole forum about living w/o reconstruction, including some women who choose not to use prostheses. Check it out here.

It's your body and your choice. 

For me, reconstruction is/was the right choice, my only choice. But I'm not you, and that was my decision.

For you?  That's 100% up to you, and don't let anyone influence your decision.  It's something you'll have to live with.  So, think it through, and then have faith that you made the right choice for yourself.  It's your body.  It's your skin you need to be comfortable in.  Yours is the only opinon that matters. 

@peb, one thing about breast reconstruction is, you don't have to do it right away. You don't have to wonder what (if anything) you dislike about bras + forms, or going flat. You can have a bmx now, and see how you feel about it. If you decide later on that you want to do reconstruction, you can go ahead with it at that time.

laniek,

As others have said.  Your body your choice.  Because of my dx, immedaite reconstruction was not a choice and that was OK.  Although it takes some adjusting, clothing ,looking in the mirror etc, there is no elective surgery in my future. I had a right side mx and even now will often go without a bra and be "lopsided"  I am careful of the clothes I wear, but I used to go braless most of the time before the MX, so having to wear one now is sooo   annoying.  My friends all laugh.  My 14 year old dd is thrilled, she hated my braless look.  I am a girl of the 70's!!  I have been through enough in the last year as have all of us.  We all need to make our own decisions.  Check the Flat fest thread!   Funny and supportive.

Be well

Nel

PS - why does this forum have to be called living without recon...  like...  it's such a huge deal.  I feel like the title feeds into the bias that we should be choosing recon... or something.

I think the forums should be called

Mastectomy without reconstruction

Mastectomy with reconstruction

And that's that.

Biker Lee, with you there on the name.  

So much has been said already.  I always knew, even before my diagnosis, that if I ever faced the question they would both go.  Period.  All that about the survival rates being the same because there's such close follow-up of the remaining breast so that anything there would be caught early . . . hello?  That didn't sound reassuring to me, already looking at one course of chemo and XRT.  So both would go.  

As to getting them back, if I could have warm breasts of my own flesh with SENSATE NIPPLES, without a lot of surgical risk, I'd take them.  But I can't.  You don't get sensate nipples.  I have no desire for numb lumps that are totally present on my body to please others.  If I were in a relationship with someone who really, really, really needed them, and I really, really, loved that person, maybe.  But otherwise, no way.  

I understand why people wear foobs.  It's natural not to want to look odd.  But why do a surgery for that when foobs are far less risky?  As it turns out, I am totally flat, have never left the house with foobs, and have never had anyone stare at me, never had any comments, nothing.  Most people truly do not notice.  OK, in the gym, changing clothes, they'll notice there.  But I've never seen a reconstruction so good that somebody staring in the gym wouldn't notice that either.

I also had to wear camis for a while during the time I was very sensitive.  Got in the habit of wearing them under shirts, for a while felt I had to for modesty, then quit.  Now I just wear them if the shirt's ultra-thin or if I'm cold.

Agree 100% with forum names thing. It does suggest that recon is the norm and we are opting out of it.

BIAB - Thanks, I couldn't remember the old name! Yes, new one isn't perfect but definitely an improvement.

I was a person who was known for my boobs--that and my hair, both of which are pretty much gone! But I chose not to have recon. I did not want the added surgery, having a full palette of treatment (that's a nice way of putting it). I was ready to be done and get back to living. I wanted to post here because I am one who did not have recon but does wear prothesis regularly, except at bedtime. I was used to a full-breasted look in my clothes and felt it best balanced the rest of my figure which is curvy. I wear size 8 foobs. I adjusted to them immediately, having been used to heavy breasts. In fact, I feel less comfortable flat, and sometimes my skin feels like it is pulling around the scars when I go flat. I've seen a plastic surgeon twice, and I am told I will not get the size boobs anywhere near what I had, so further reason in my mind not to bother. Another factor that swayed me was reading in the recon forum a thread about whether a good recon job could pass in an intimate encounter without a "conversation." Basically, it can't. So I figured it wasn't going to look or feel very realistic. I urge you to trust your decision. I also had ALOT of pressure from my surgeon. I still get the question every follow up--are you thinking about recon? I think I'm going to tell her next appointment to never ask that question again. That said, I wonder just how many mastectomies are actually "closed" by the breast surgeon these days. I ended up with a horrible scar on my prophylactic side that I will probably need to get reworked--if I ever can take a break from living my busy life!!!!

hey - mods replied and want to hear folks weigh in....  please weigh in there!

All Topics → Forum: Comments, Suggestions, Feature Requests → Topic: reconstruction and no reconstruction -- forum names

THANKS!

laniek,

Chiming in here to wish you the best of luck with your surgery. Also, if you're interested in reading personal stories and seeing photographs of women after a mastectomy, you might check out my non-profit website, BreastFree.org. Many of those who contributed stories and photographs are women I "met" on this forum.

I myself had a bilateral mastectomy in 2006. I asked my surgeon to make my chest smooth, with no extra skin, and if possible, to make the incisions symmetrical. She was able to do both those things and I think that has helped me. Since I'm slim, my chest is rather bony, which I gather is fairly typical with thin women. I'm glad you like your surgeon and it sounds as if she understands your concerns.

Barbara

Hi I am new to these boards. I had a double mastectomy on October 18, 2012. I will not have reconstructive surgery by my choice. I am fine being flat chested for the first time since I went through puberty. My breast were huge and I don't miss them at all, neither does my husband of 39 years. I kinda like the way my chest looks my scars are minimal and healing very nicely. When I want to dress up I will wear fake ones, which is not very often. 

I had a UMX without recon. I do wear a bra and foob, partly because I'm used to it. I had C to DD boobs depending on my weight. I haven't ruled out doing the other side, but would not consider recon at all. Right now, after losing 10lbs, the foob is larger than the real one. No extremely so, but noticeable to me. You can see my ribs on the UMX side and it feels unpadded when I lay on that side.

Why are you having the sentinal node biopsy?  DCIS..in state...not invasive.  If you consent to dr's request and that is why ...get it in writing they will only take 1 and only come back after it shows cancer had indeed spread.  Lumpy results are minor in comparison to lymph flow problems and back of arm completely numb.  I sooo wish I had been informed before I consented.