Mom's 69 w/ BC

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lippysyd
lippysyd Member Posts: 1
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer
Hi all!

About a month ago my Mom, 69, was diagnosed with BC in her right breast. She had a biopsy, then a lumpectomy. They removed a 2.8mm ER tumor from her breast and she had 2/16 positive nodes. We're still just finding things out about this, and I'm really confused by everything. (which is frustrating, because I can usually keep up with this sort of stuff.) I think Mom's still in shock becasue she's really not talking at all. Her first appt with the onc he mostly talked about the possibility of radiation and hormone therapy, but not a lot of talk about chemo, considering her age. Then, her last appointment, they talked more about doing all three. Overall she's pretty healthy, so she could probably handle chemo, but, gosh I hate to see her go through that. I'm afraid she's not taking this seriously yet, or she's waiting for the doctor to just tell her what to do. I begged her to go to the University of Michigan, which is 35 mi away, but she refused. (my bro has cholitis, and Dad has Parkinsons- she has no problem thelling themto go there, but why not her?)

What do you guys think about chemo at 69? I don't think I can be objective here. An internist friend of mine said that she should take all treatments they offer, but I don't know... Maybe I should just let her decide, without butting in?
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  • KariLynn
    KariLynn Member Posts: 1,079
    edited May 2006
    Sorry your mom has to go through this. With positive nodes, chemo is a good thing. It's hard for anyone to get through but if she's in good health and takes all her meds, there's no reason your mom can't handle it (and they'll watch her pretty close to see if she needs to stop.)

    69 isn't as old as it once was! I heard 80 was average life expectancy for women, if chemo helps her get her 11 more years, I say go for it.

    I would let your mom make the decisions - be there for support but don't volunteer opinions on treatment unless asked. She's probably been doing things her way for at least 50 years and will want to keep doing so!

    Take care of yourself - this is as hard on the families as the patient.

    Kari
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  • cowgirl
    cowgirl Member Posts: 777
    edited May 2006
    Well to me 69 is younger every year! I would support her in her decision of treatment. It is very hard to commit, and now that she has made up her mind you need to back her up no matter what.

    My mom had a simple mast at 75, I really wanted her to have reconstruction. But she didn't want to, I supported her wholeheartedly and I am really glad I did. For that time for her it was the right decision.
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  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited May 2006
    My grandma was 72 years young when she went through chemo.
    They will as Kari said keep a close watch on her and adjust her treatmnets as needed.

    Hugs to you and Mom and come back keep us posted.

    Carrie
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  • lizqueen
    lizqueen Member Posts: 11
    edited May 2006
    lippysyd,
    reading your post reminds me a lot of when I came for the 1st time to breatcancer.org. Mom (61) had just been diagnosed and we all were very confused, especially because, just like you mentioned, the doctor was not consistent, first he said lumpectomy, then mastectomy, then drains for a week, then two weeks, then three, then only rads, then chemo and rads, then chemo rads and hormones, and so on, the uncertainty was driving us more crazy than anything else.
    After all she is getting everything: chemo, rads and hormones. PLEASE PLEASE trust me, once Mom starts her treatment everything will be 100% easier. The word "chemotherapy" was for us as scary as it can be, but it has not been close to how bad we thought it would be. My mother has had 3 rounds of A/C and she is doing GREAT, other than the hairloss, her life is as normal as can be; and everyone says she looks better now with her make-over (very few people notice it is a wig). It might not be always so, we are aware, but suddenly she is half way through everything!
    If in doubt, I´d say get a second opinion, or a third.
    My prayers are with you and your Mom.
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  • imes102
    imes102 Member Posts: 2
    edited June 2006
    Funny that I feel that I can offer you advice, when I posted on another page about needing help myself! As I read your message, I have something to say and realize that I am also giving myself some of the answers that I am looking for!
    I am a gerontological NP and all of my nursing career has been in longterm care. I have cared for many patients with breast cancer and it is amazing how some of my older patients come sailing through treatments! They do monitor everything so closely. She may become extra fatigued and may need some help with your Dad, but a positive attitude is what seems to help the older patients that I have dealth with. 69 isn't considered OLD anymore. It has more to do with co-existing medical problems. I am constantly astounded with what my 80+ year old patients can endure. It is true that her life expectancy at this point is above 80 yrs, so it could extend her life significantly. Your mother needs to make the ultimate decision, but I think it is important to show your support. My mother was diagnosed with bc 1 month after her 65th birthday. I think it made her feel so old and helpless. My sister and I just laugh off the fact that she is 65=========
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  • cowgirl
    cowgirl Member Posts: 777
    edited June 2006

    69 is getting younger every year for me!

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  • omacar
    omacar Member Posts: 19
    edited June 2006

    I had a mastectomy at age 63 with chemo and tamoxifen. mets to bones in 2001 had all the hormone theapy, finally didn't work any more went back on chemo2004 for 9 months now mets to liver on zeloda for 6 months . now I am 74. I have felt well thru all the cehmo. occasionall tired day or 2. I still work as RN part time, watch grandkis a lot espeicially during the summer now. Hubby does the heavy house work and is spoiling me with doing laundry and cooking. 98% of the time I feel normal. Give your mom the opportunity to try the chemo if she wants. It does not always have to be negative experience. My prayers for you and her. hugs going your way. oma

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  • cinderellafifi
    cinderellafifi Member Posts: 8
    edited July 2006
    My mom is also 69 with Stage IV. Mastectomy was in March, mets diagnosis in April. She was all for the chemo and is taking it orally. Very mild side-effects so we are hoping and praying for the best.

    Let your mom know you encourage her to do this. She may have many more happy years ahead of her. Good luck!

    "Fifi"
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