In shock

Thanks so much for your reply Momine

I will ask my onc on many things like the WBCs, anti inflammatories and the pri biotics.

I too was told that Taxotere was going to be a walk in the park for me....considering I had high dose chemo / radiation and stem cell transplant in 1996....well i'll be telling my onc that I'm still waiting for that 'walk in the park' lol.......I don't know if it's because I blocked everything out from that far back but I don't remember waking up one day feeling normal and the next like all achey....then coming good again.....its just unpredictable!!!

I must say fatigue is whats getting me, luckily there's no nausea ... i've been trying to drink more as I'm getting headaches a lot lately, more like tension ones. but even water is tasting like crap!!

My bones though now you mention it were that bad yesterday, I'd rather have gone through child birth no drugs (like I did  3 years ago) opposed to the bone pain I had encountered yesterday, mainly on my bloody bum cheekys, knees and thighs....and I have  my neck thats really, really itchy!...annoying....

I'm glad all the effects have passed for you now on this bitch of a drug

Did your nail beds hurt ? mine are a little and before treatment I was told which I did,   put clear hardner on them but they feel so sensitive and I don't know if it's because of this hardner but they are growing longer like they are on steroids !!! 

I don't have any inflammation thank goodness, had no reaction at all....I actually felt good day 1-6 , yesterday day 7 bad bad bone pain and today happy as larry NORMAL again, actually DID go out for a walk in the park with my son to feed the ducks ! lol 

Excercise, well thats not so hard, I have a almost 3 year old so he doesn't exactly let me sit on my back side long enough to chillax.....so walking or 'running' after him is generally done 'most of the time' ..... I'm not trying to be a hero in all of this...I'm a strong person but nows the time I'm letting everyone close that wants to help help me out even something small so I can just get better

Traii, are you icing your nails during the Taxotere infusion? Here in British Columbia, Canada, it is standard procedure. They have iced mittens which they come and change halfway through. It helps to prevent nerve damage/neuropathy to your fingers and nails. My nails held up well. They were a little sensitive, but I only lost one toenail a few months after chemo ended. I did not ice my toes - should have done that, because I still have numb toes six months later. Some people bring big bags of frozen peas, and dig their toes into that.

 LieFie, not standard treatmen here in Australia to ice nails ......nor have I ever heard of anything before coming to these board re icing nails/toenails throughout Taxotere. I saw after my first infusion about all this so hoping its not too late , my second coming up on the 24th Nov. I'm day 9 today from first chemo.

Good to hear your nails held up well I was thinking of just icing my fingernails but you have inspired me to do the toes too..... sorry to hear about your toe nail falling off .

Carlads, how did you go ?

Edi, oh Edi, sorry I did have a chuckle about your oh so clever, oh so honest 5 year old GD, its amazing how smart and honest they are at that age....Nan will always be nan.....lol but too cute . I'm sure your wig looks gorgeous. Put it this way, just because your 5 year old GD knew it was a wig, does not mean that adults out there will know...remember kids outsmart us on the best of days....!

I'm having another great day today, even went to work for 4 hours....ahh the norm...dropped the little man off at my mums and then off to work.....they were all so nice and told me not to over do it....( I don't, trust me...I do more at home than work ... lol) I only went back to work for 3 days a week 4 hours a day back in May (only to feel part of the adult world after having bubs) dx in aug and my bosses are sooooo nice  they even said that on my down days when i don't want to go in after treatment they will still pay me and not take it out of my sick leave....they have been soooo nice and they don't want me to leave as I had suggested to them when first Dx.:)

Edi, don't worry, i've been visiting the loo a bit too.....hmmm not a nice place but when you gotta go you gotta go so totally understand the part about not wanting to leave the house ...lol

Enjoy your day ladies with no SE's .....I'd better start preparing dinner chicken stirfry on the menu tonight

Edi, mines next ones on the 21st Nov...yours every 3 weeks as well ?

It does make such a difference having great employers...good on your boss raising money for BC.....crazy way jumping out of a plane....lols.

Oh god bless your Darling GD she sounds like quite a character ... Rod Stewart hey for a DH..lol as long as he can sing like him hey......lol

I haven't shown my DS my wig.....as he's not at the age really to know thats mummys and only mummys and I'M NOT SHARING this ... lol (just when I'm trying to teach him to share for kindy next year)!!

I'm worried we might be out shopping and he might pull on my hair (wig) and it comes off...as much as I giggle at the thought now...I have no idea how I'd react.....( I guess I just don't want to know because it better not happen !!!)

Ok I'm curious, cheese I know and love but not sure piccallili ??

Almost Friday here ladies and I'm off to bed ..... enjoy your day

Hi Everyone,

It's official. IDC I really wasn't surprised.  The hardest thing was telling the kids.  Two married daughters and an adorable grand-daughter who will be 3 in December.  Two son's, the youngest is 15.  I didn't break down until they all cried.  They know I am going to be fine, it's just hard to hear the news.  I think the shock for me is the fact like most of us I go every year for my Mammogram and do self exams.  As soon as I felt it a month ago I went right in.  Well I can't think about that now just move forward.  No stage yet until surgery but he said it was about 2cm and probably grade 2 looks very contained.  Surgery will be done before December 2.  I have decided on a bi-lateral Mastectomy.  The right side being the Prophylactic with reconstruction.  I see a plastic surgeon on Wednesday.  He did say I would probably have Chemo.  But said I would wait until after surgery to meet with an Oncologist.   I really would like to find one now and at least have a consult.  

Thank you all so much for your concern!  You will be hearing from me a lot!  I have all of  you in my prayers!

Carla  

Dakota, thinking of you ((( Hug ))). Sure you will be great, let us all know please.

Carlands, Heart goes out to you, had exactly same start of this journey not that long ago.Telling kids worst part by far. They have been amazing.

Looking at beautiful GD's ( 4 ) still makes me want to cry, but I have every intention of being around to listen to all their secrets for a long ,long time.

Like you, did all the right things but BC still happened.   We are lucky we found it when we did and all my team keep telling me its the commonest form of BC and very cureable.

No reason not to believe them but it is still a shock.Now you know what you are up against just join us all on this journey and you will find it easier with the ladies on here to support you. I definitely do.

Traii, 20th for mine, yep 3 weekly. How many you having? I have four of this one then four of a different one.

Don't blame you not telling DS about wig, at that age goodness knows what he might do.Heard of a lady who's wig blew off in our local supermarket car park. She just laughed and chased after it. Don't know if I could be that brave. lol.

Piccalilli is mustard pickle, lots of bits of veggie's, cauli,onion, gherkin in spicy mustard sauce. Yummy, craved it when pregnant.Oops now THAT would be a laugh wouldn't it?

GD would be delighted ( she would look after it ) wants a baby sister/brother but ED says no way, too expensive and at 40 she doesn't think she could go through it again.I could make a fortune as the oldest Mother ever ha ha.

Hope you have a lovely Saturday.

Hi girls-



Ok 1 down, 7 to go. Not to bad. I have a headache, a little dizzy. i took a compazine felt a little nausea. They told me senekot and colace?? Is that right. Orrrrr will I be pooping forever??? Hope everyone has little or no S/E. !!!

Thanks I did!!' Have a great night. !!!

Benny, how is the infection, are the antibiotics working? Any news when your chemo starts? Hope all is well.

Hi gorgeous girls.

Liefie, thanks for that, don't feel likey ray of sunshine but you all certainly make life so much brighter for me.My lovely boss sent around DVD of his fund raising tandem sky dive last night to make me laugh. It was amazing !! He was so brave and looked frozen stiff, they went up to fourteen thousand feet in tiny cold plane. Then out he came with a smile on his face. He raised a lot of money and we are so proud of him.Talking of cold the icing sounds as if it will be a good thing for Traii. The tips on here are so helpful to us all.

Dakota, Go Girl !! Yay. Well done, I had the dizzy part and turned out it was SE of anti sickness medication. Day 10 today and feel brilliant, you just rest a bit, do a bit, rest a bit. Works for me. I am like Traii, pooping like a good un, yuk. Didn't go for three days and the pain was awful. Locked myself in the loo with radio, magazine and cup of tea.I know, yuk. After one, hour finally went. Bit more info than you needed I know, but I now have a tangerine or orange each evening and seems to have sorted me out.Like Traii gone the other  way now :-( Still if that's the only SE bring it on.

Bearcub, DH on compuuter doing lottery for 29 million. If we win ,will send for you all after this journey over and we will  have a lovely pub meal and champagne in our local. How are you at the moment ?

Carla,I agree with the girls, BC will be cut out and gone Dec. I called mine by a name ( Mildred ) when I had my op, txt's went out to everyone " Mildred is dead !! "You will feel so much better. Think of someone you dislike and call it after them. My girls called it Mildred too, less stressful than the BC word.Then treatment to give you the best chance of a long and healthy life with your wonderful family.Try and have a good weekend.

Benny, Please let us know where you are up to. You  started this thred and we all care about you.

Traii, wig sounds great. I would appreciate that link for real hair wigs if you get a minute.Wore mine for 4 hrs yesterday, almost forgot it was there. Getting hair cut really short today. Read DH what your onco said about ladies hair blowing off in the wind, the look of horror on his face was priceless ! lol. Think I might be going out with crash helmet on to the shops next week ha ha.

Know the spread you mean, like that too. Piccallili really popular here especially with cold meat for xmas buffets.

Glad nail beds bit less painful. The icing sounds really helpful.

Cbear, Hope you are ok, keep in touch.

Fabulous Friday everone.

Edi. 

Hi Everyone,

My morning routine is to come here and hear how everyone is doing.  Makes me feel so much better you all are wonderful and inspiring.  Small meltdown this morning.  I do it when nobody is around.  Then I pull myself together and go about my day.  As I said all the kids know and my Son who is in the Coast Guard is going to come home  the end of the month to be here for my Surgery.  He cried and cried it broke my heart!  My husband and I both reassured him I am going to be fine! 

Have a great weekend everyone!

Prayers for all,

Carla

Traii, Hi thanks for wig link, may give it a go.Icing does sound good, any luck with gloves ?Hope your rash cleared up.

The look on Dh face with that story was priceless, almost as good as when he came into the hairdressers yesterday afternoon to collect me and I had almost no hair!! My beautiful stylist took it all down to a no 4 all over. Now not so much to clear up when it comes out. Wig fits better too. All prepared for next step. Look like a really funky old lady ha ha.

One of GD's birthday party today.Going to do face really carefully, lots of eye makeup, blusher etc. Nice big earrings. If don't look too scarey wig staying in box. The thought of you sitting out of the wind brought a smile to my face :-) As you say wigs at the ready, sure you will look lot more gorgeous than me but DH and I have been together 48 years and he still thinks I look like the day we met in The Cavern Club, Liverpool all those years ago. ( will have to clean his spectacles ! )

Keep strong Traii.have a fun SE free weekend.

Liefie, your post moved me to a little weep. My son lives in another city, I told him by phone and then heard nothing for about eight weeks. Really don't know how he feels but may find out one day. My two married daughters both live nearby and have been a great support, lots of spoiling. :-)

Carla, I can't wait to log on here each morning too. BC can be a lonely journey but not with these ladies it isn't. I used to wait until alone then cry like a good un. Then as liefie says thought enough and get fighting the bxxxh ! you will find that you will get to the anger part eventually. Tell DH and kids it may happen, and to just ignore your outbursts it is all part of the grieving process that your body has seemingly betrayed you.

Just try and find a bit of joy in each day, Laugh when you can, cry if you need to but just come out fighting.

Please have some joy and laughter this weekend.

Ladies, I have just heard the most heartwarming story. My friends daughter and her two friends are having their hair shaved off to raise funds to send their friend who has cancer and her four year old to Disneyworld !! They are all working Mum's with toddlers and they reckoned it would get a quick result and bring awareness of BC too.Angels without wings springs to mind.

Joy and laughter to you all.

Edi

Cbear, I was also 47 at DX, and I feel for you. I did not face the choice you face, since the tumor was so large that MX was a given on the cancer breast. I chose to get rid of the other one as well, instead of having to deal with constant mammos and biopsies. I was relatively small-breasted. My surgeon asked me to delay recon for 2 years. Now that I have gotten used to being flat, I am fairly sure that I will skip the recon. 

Jennie, the idea to remove both came from a friend who had been through it. The first surgeon I saw completely refused to do it. The next surgeon was willing to do it, but would not have suggested it, I think. 

Partly it is the "do no harm" business. If the breast is assumed to be healthy, you should not traumatize the body by removing it, and that makes sense, of course. But it turned out that I had lobular cancer (more likely to recur in other breast than IDC) and the first guy had refused before he even did a biopsy (and he was planning a MX without doing a biopsy first, which is clearly a no-no, so good thing I fired him).

cbear. BC hits any age now a days...I'm 34 and BC is due to radiation I had when I was 19...

I opted for Lumpectomy first as everything was happening so quickly and I have a almost 3 year old and didn't want to go through masectomy right away, was hard enough getting my head around BC then to loose a breast it was a total night mare as you ladies can imagine.

My Surgeon said, lumpectomy, axillary disection ( I had 2 nodes positive out of the 10 they took out) so I'm having a masectomy after chemo ( no radiation as I've already been radiated on) and to be honest, chemo is 'better' out of chemo and radiation !

I had my insition under the nipple area and honestly I can't tell, a little dent like Edi mentioned but no one would notice even with my DD to E size boobies.

Good luck with your decision.....I'm big boobied so I'm having reconstruction with implants and I'm going down a few sizes .... so the way I look at this, yes I'm loosing my hair, yes I'm having chemo but I'll have perkier boobies then my friends when I'm done with all this bulls%$# !! lol......