just had mastectomy feeling sorry for myself

Hi,  I don't have the flair for accessorizing so I may not be helpful there - except I did become a whiz at using scarfs draped all different ways. And loose sweaters. 

I so remember feeling and looking like I got beat up!  At the time of my surgery I decided to take some good with the bad and got my eye lids done and my chin/neck done. WOW. When I first saw myself in the mirror I couldn't believe I paid to do that to myself! It's a few years later and I'm so glad I did all that. The scars are gone, the droopy lids are gone, the extra chins are gone so in the long run, it was worth it. Keep a smile on your fact, it will be better before you know it. Hugs.

I had my tissue expander removed after doing immediate recon after my mastectomies, so I had a lopsided chest for 7 months while waiting for surgery to put it back - I was doing chemo in the meantime.  I found a variety of prosthetics that worked with different clothes, and also found that ruffles, pleats, ruching, gathering and draped necklines worked as camoflauge.  I did wear plain shirts with scarves also.  Here is a link to a scarf tying video that is cute:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LYAEz777AU

I received a traditional prosthetic from the American Cancer Society for free from one of their gift closets.  My insurance would not cover payment for one since my situation was temporary so it was very nice to have one from ACS as they are quite expensive.  I also used the insert from my surgical camisole - it was soft cotton and I could use more of less of the fluff - it worked like a little pillow sham - and it was very comfortable and lightweight.  Here is a link for making any bra into a mastectomy bra if you sew:

http://www.whatididtosurvive.com/category/how-to-make-a-mastectomy-bra/

RR - Glad you liked it - I thought it was cute and creative.  A friend showed it to me - she has been uber supportive throughout my BC experience, including giving me a place to stay when I travel to Washington, D.C. for the Her2+ vaccine trial every three weeks.  Love her!

Hi. I had a BMX on Oct 25 2012 for ILC. I choose no reconstruction and don't regret it. I am very fortunate in that the tumor board reccomended no further treatment as the Ca was small and I am post menopausal. But heres the thing- I find myself suddenly depressed with a feeling of unreality about the whole process. I'm also scared about cancer being " somewhere else" as two of my relatives died of ovarian cancer. I am gene negative. They didn't do any scans. Are these feelings normal?? I was proud of myself for being brave before- now I'm feeling kind of wimpy.

Dawn and Scared, yes your feelings are totally normal but that doesn't mean you have to feel that way. Counselling or psychological therapy can help you process your feelings and you can talk openly to a therapist about your fears in a way you may not want to do with family and friends.



I strongly recommend that you speak to your doctor or cancer centre and get a referral for counselling. Some cancer organisations offer free counselling.



And keep in touch on this site for valuable support as you deal with and process your diagnosis.

Great scarf tutorial!

Hi, Mena,

I am pleased you are happy in your decision to have reconstrution. I chose not to have it because I think I look fine without breasts. My feelings of sadness 10 days out are more about having experienced cancer than not having new breasts and concerns about a reoccurence elsewhere. That said, I am profoundly grateful to be alive and am thankful to my radiologist who spotted a very small invasive cancer before it could do more harm. Take care, Dawn

Hi Karen,

I had my BMX in june 2012, my BS and I decided against immediate recon, because we didn't know if I would have to have chemo or rads. I was really wanting to have recon at that time, and was very upset. I don't regret the delayed reconstruction because I was able to get myself healed before I went for the next surgery. I understand about not wanting to look at yourself in the mirror post surgery. I told my husband I wanted all the mirrors in the house covered up. My husband, said that he was not going to do that and that we were going to face this head on. I have changed my mind on the final stages of recon nips and tattoos so many times. I have finally made the decision to go for the whole shebang. Cancer took my breasts and happiness for a while and with the help of my amazing dr's I'm getting it back.

Make your decision for yourself not for anyone else. hugs

Has your surgeon showed you pictures of this tummy tuck you get with reconstruction? The pictures I saw from a PS had a large scar going across the abdomen. I never did get reconstruction, but at first I was excited about geting a tummy tuck. When I saw the pictures, I was sorely disappointed.

I am not trying to discourage you from reconstruction. I totally support you. I just don't don't want you to get caught in the uplifting news of a tummy tuck then seeing the pictures of what it looks like.

Mena,

You are happy with your decision and that is a good thing! No offense taken at all but.... My breast oncology surgeon supported my decision NOT to have reconstruction and for that I am also grateful. The beauty here is we are both pleased. :0). Here's to diversity - boobs, foobs or flat. More importantly- heres to more research, funding and finding a cure and ways to prevent this horrible disease in the first place!!! Dawn

As a slight sidebar to this discussion, I just wanted to point out there are women who spend time on this forum while they are waiting to reconstruct or have had issues with reconstruction and are waiting to try again. They need support finding garments, prosthetics and have their own issues of coping with being flat. A while back I posted something and one of these gals gently reminded me of that, and she said it was sometimes hard to feel welcome here because many of us seem so anti-reconstruction. This really gave me pause and made me think about how all the forums here on BCO often overlap. Breast cancer is what brings us all together, and we all deserve support in our decisions even when they differ from others. BC diagnoses and treatments overwhelm and make it difficult to know what to choose. Some will be happy with reconstruction; some will regret it; some will be forced to undo their recon when it fails; others choose no recon and don't look back; and yet there are others who live flat by choice for many years and then decide to reconstruct. BC is a wicked ride, and as much as I rant against certain things, I always wish for my sisters to be happy with their bodies once surgeries and treatments are complete.

I chose delayed recon with the help of my surgeon and my spouse. I HAD to get used to the idea that I had bc. Plus, if I had to have chemo or rads I didn't want to compromise my TE's. It is truly a personal choice for each brave woman affected by this disease to make. To me it was the same decision I had to make on deciding to do nips and tattoing. I was deadset on not doing them, then 2 weeks I changed my mind but kept it to myself. For me, I wanted to feel "normal" again, or as normal as you can be after being affected by this. Everyone has good points on their arguments and I see everyone's views. Like I said it's a tough decision to make.

Karensimone- I hope you make the right decision for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

christy