Sept 2012 chemo

Hi ladies,



Loved seeing all the fun Halloween pics, made me smile! Was able to take the kids out for some trick or treating, happy I didn't have to miss out...it's so tough when the side effects force you to miss stuff with the kids, hate that.



I too hear you guys on the weight gain, keep telling myself to be more careful about what I'm eating and try to walk more, but that has been easier said than done. And I'm definitely feeling the marshmallow effect in the face....either that or my face looks bigger with no hair.



Mariposa- how has the third been for you? Has the nausea from that awful first round stayed away? Hope so.



Had my third chemo yesterday, very happy to be celebrating my half way mark. I will be getting a neulasta shot from now on, so ill listening to advice for here and taking a Claritin and hoping for no bone pain.



Feeling ok, today was long, I met with my MO and had another appt with my rads dr. Plus getting the chemo, I felt wiped out, but now its 3 am and I'm up. I mostly blame the steroids, but have had a bit of insomnia creep in the last week. Meant to speak to dr about it, but damn chemo brain, forget to add to my list of questions and if it's not on the list...it's gone....I feel like I have lost about half my brain cells, and I'm missing them....so is my husband when I ask him the same question like three times a day, ugh.

Anyway, the sleep issue, taking Ativan, does anyone take anything for sleep?



Ok, one more thing for ladies getting the TCH treatment. I went to a breast cancer conference a couple weeks ago, it was for medial professionals and my mom is a nurse practitioner, so went with her. Saw Dr. Mark Pegram speak, he is from Standford and was part of the people who developed herceptin. He was super smart and I probably understood about half of what he was saying, but he did talk about the order in which to receive the TCH. He said to get you herceptin first because it has a synergistic relationship with the T and C. I think I got herceptin last on my first round, first on my second, and this time I ask my MO about it, he knew what I was talking about, and said that has been the protoocol for about a year,but also said sometimes the order changes depending on how the nurses are administering the anti nausea meds, because they want you to get those before Taxotere. Anyway, bottom line, I just asked the nurse if I could have the herceptin first and it was no problem, she did kind of indicate the order depended on what your nurse usually does. So just another example of advocating for yourself. Hope this helps.



Ok, I'm hoping all are doing as well as we can, wishing for little to no side effects to all, reminding us we are getting closer, we can do this! Prayers, positive thoughts, and hugs to everyone. Goodnight! (I hope)

Cherioo, I am avoiding Neulasta as long as my counts stay good on Taxol. If they don't, then it will be back to getting the shot too. I did like Cindy for my last shot. I had my MO call it in as a prescription at my pharmacy. I had my daughter give me mine, she's a med asst.



I am friends with Amy in Michigan on Facebook. She is doing great, started Taxol and her tumor is now 1cm.



Speaking of Facebook, if anyone wants to be friends there too, just pm me. I have a few of the sisters added. It is a easier place to post pics I think!



Hoping to get out for a walk later, I have been such a slug lately. Everyone enjoy this day!

Finally, no rain and the sun is shinning! Might go for a run today it is suppose to get up to 46 degrees today.

cocobean, I have never been the greatest sleeper, have acute hearing and wear earplugs etc. and so this whole BC thing and now chemo/steroids has added to lack of. I am also not a very good napper though I am better at hanging around in bed. Night before last I slept a couple of hours then was awake from 02-08. Slept in the morning. Last night I took .5 mg Ativan and slept 10 hours. My husband slept in a spare room and wow do I feel better. No doubt the dexemethosone is wearing off too. I just don't want to have to wean myself off Ativan way down the road!

Marian

When life, I'm at Abbott/Minnesota Oncology Minneapolis. Not very convenient for an Eden Prairie resident doing weekly treatments, but I'm happy I'm there.

I too have kept it off Facebook. I have a my lifeline page which I use to communicate with family and friends!!! Ill have to check out your blog.

I keep my facebook very much limited to day to day stuff that interests me other than my bc journey. I use Caring Bridge to update family and friends on my bc journey and of course comment here share my deepest concerns, questions, and fears.

I haven't posted for awhile, but I have been reading and appreciate you all so much. I had my 3rd treatment on Halloween; my 4th (and final!) treatment will be the day before Thanksgiving. The on-call doc will give me a Neulasta shot on Thanksgiving, and hopefully I'll be up for the feast afterwards!

This 3rd treatment has definitely been harder than the previous ones. I've been very tired and played hooky from work yesterday. I did drag myself outside yesterday to take a walk, and walked again today. The exercise really does seem to help, physically AND mentally.

I've been struggling with on and off binge-eating. I guess it's all the stress of going through this. I lost about 75 lbs before being diagnosed, and I am petrified I'll gain it back.

I haven't posted anything on Facebook, but I've been tempted to do so. I don't mind people knowing, however I do find it difficult communicating the news.

Here's to hoping all of us are free from SEs!

Mo

Just wanna share that im not ready for taxol....i dont want any joint pain or any of that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Second that, don't think I ever really realized what blessed meant until the past few months.

Hi all!

  I went to a wonderful breast cancer conference today here in the Bay Area, Califorina:-) The best part was the lunch!  Anyway, got lots of good information, met tons of survivors, and had lots of compliments on my headscarf:-)  I am not feeling great (had chemo on Tuesday) but managed to summon the strength to stick it out from 9 until 5.  Thought I might vomit somewhere in the middle, but didn't.  (thank goodness)  Interesting, Cocobean:  Mark Pegrm spoke as our keynote speaker too:-)  Lots of interesting information on Her2.  I guess he just moved to Stanford.

Facebook Poll:  I am super up front about everything on Facebook.  I was kind of worried about it, but as a teacher and therapist- I kind of thought that I could maybe use it to inform.  I also post links to my blog on Facebook for people who want more than just a quick soundbite.  I have had the most awesome support on Facebook!!!  So much love and positive energy.  I have had young people tell me that their relatives with cancer hid it, and how my disclosures have been super healing.  I also have had other survivors reach out- people who I had no idea were survivors- and give me so much good information and hope. 

Marianelizabeth & Toastiecat:  Love your blogs!  Thanks so much for sharing.  I actually was trying to nap when I was hit with one of the worst hot flashes ever- so your quote, Toastiecat, "the hot flashes are what let you know you are alive" was pretty appropriate!  

Anyone else having worse hot flashes??  Yikes!!!  They seem to only happen when I am sleeping, but they completely suck.

Hope everyone has restful sleep tonight with no SE:-) 

A friend sent me one of those pass-on email with short funny stories.  Since I am retired, I know several I pass the best on to.  This one had several chuckles and a laugh--great way to start the day.  It ended with this:

Keep a SMILE on your face ~ And a SONG in your heart!

A smile - is a sign of joy.

A hug - is a sign of love.

A laugh - is a sign of happiness.

And a friend like me? - Well that's just a sign of good taste!

We'll be friends until I am senile.

Then we'll be NEW friends.

Ditto

Huggs, no SE, and a sunny lovely Sunday to all.

I was so inspired by the artwork I decided to start a poem of my journey to date. Since we are still on the journey it is not finished. My husband thought it was kind of dark which isn't me. But I did write it on day three while on steroids. Just wanted to share it. I'm counting on it ending in a happy ending but for now. It is what it is.



My journey



It started with a routine test

Then the call to return

Trusting believing

More testing required

Biopsy then results

Returning together

Hoping. Fearing

The worst

Confirmed diagnosis

Leaving in a fog

Shocked. Numb

Mechanical. Wooden

Putting one foot in front of the other

Returning to reality

Everything moving forward

Yet stuck in mud

Follow up with team

Unanswered questions

Surgeon. Radiologist. Psychologist. Oncologist

Trying to absorb

The options.

Uncertainty

Overwhelmed

Further testing

MRI. Pet Scans. Waiting

Results

More probing

Mass. lymph node

The diagnosis morphs

Into something much more

More waiting. Anticipation of

Surgery

Changed for life

Drains. Scars.

Recovery

Limited mobility

Pain

Emotional

Physical

Healing

Waiting

Appointments

Follow up. Results

Strength renewed

And then a trip

To the chair

Red devil

Dripping

Enveloping

Abysmal fatigue

Head muddled

Insides

Upside down

Bed ridden

Alone

Time passing

Existing

Day to day

Wallowing deeper

Until the fog lifts

Strength recovering

Only to return

The cycle continues

Whirling

As life outside moves forward

Stuck. Sick

The never ending turnstile

Spinning

Revolving

Enduring

More of myself pouring out

The long strands

Leaving me

Until there's merely a shell

Of myself

Left

You said it pretty much all, Timbek2. Thanks for sharing.

timbek2   - Thank you for sharing, it's amazing how accurate you described my feelings.