3 yrs. later...and changing completely. Is it normal??

I didn't tell anyone about the cancer for a long time but then decided to let it out.

Not to everyone, but to most people.  Everyone has a right to handle it in their own way.  In their own time.

What really struck me though is how your marriage fell apart.  I've been married for 43 years, very few of them happy.  I raised 3 kids basically on my own and now they're gone.  Having come through this, with a lot of support from my husband and no one else, he has reverted to type and ha lied and tricked me as he always has throughout the years.  I want out!  I went to a therapist who told me it's too risky.  I would lose health insurance, he would get away with giving me minimal support.  He said I should just go with the flow and cope with him.  That's what I've done all along but now everything looks so different to me.  I see how I deserve better.  Why did i struggle to live?  Why?

But I guess I have to face reality.  Facing death and illness gives you a different view of life I thing.  My son washed his hands of me when I went on chemo.  I don't particularly want to run after him.  I used to babysit twice a week.  I have no energy for my grandchildren anyway, but more than that, I how many times and in how many ways can a heart be broken?  I just want to take care of myself and make myself as happy as possible.  I'm done!

Hi Ladies.  I identify with you all.  Went through the not wanting to talk about my cancer,and I am now about to end my almost 40 year marriage, which  I also don't want to talk about.  The not wanting to talk part I think has to do with hearing the words cancer and divorce coming from my own mouth.  I never thought I would hear myself say either one of those words about myself!  Plus, once those words are out there, people have so many questions.  I choose the people I want to tell very carefully.

  Although my cancer diagnosis has not been life threatening, something inside me changed.  Something I didn't seek, but was there none the less.  I realized that I was no longer willing to live with,or put up with the things my husband did that made me so very unhappy.  It was only when I got to the point of realizing that I am more unhappy in my marriage than I will be out of it.  That was when I was able to say this is what I want.

Angie.  What makes you certain that you would lose your insurance if you leave your husband?  If he is providing it, a court might contiune to make him responsible to provide it-you might have to pay for it though.  

hbcrdreams.  I don't think there are any answers to your question as to why other than it is a combination of all the things you mentioned.

timbuktu.  It sounds like another therapist might be in order for you.  Again about the insurance, although I do not know the laws of different states, I do know that it is something that is up for negotiation especially if one of the spouses has been providing it for a long time.

Love and hugs to all of you

minxie  I'm going to PM you.