In shock

 I feel for bennymuffins. when diagnosed on July 12,2012, I had the same feelings. Shock, very sad, fear.. I felt like I had just been given a death sentence.  I cried and was terrible sad like I my days were over. For a couple of weeks I could not speak about it without crying. Many appointments later, not to mention lots of prayers. I told all my friends and anyone that asked. The more people knew, the more prayers I would receive. By the time the surgery for lumpectomy and lymph node biopsy on Aug. 1st, I had relaxed somewhat.  The cancer had spread to the lymph node, on Sept. 10th has axillary dissection, another cancerous node.  A total of 19 nodes, 2 were cancerous.  I keep very positive that all will be fine, and leave myself in God's hands.  I have just started on Letrozole (Femara) by late next week radiation. My oncologist did not recommend chemo, I took her recommendation.  My axillary dissection is still sore after 6 weeks, but getting better every day. I had a drain for almost 3 weeks. No more tears, if it comes back I will deal with it and I don't worry too much anymore, although it's always in the back of my mind. At some point you will probably feel the same way after the initial shock goes away. 

  I have read everything I can on this cancer, the more informed you are the less frightening it becomes. You will beat it just keep positive.

      ((Hugs and prayers))

Benny, 

Love the pictures!  Diamond is beautiful.  And didn't you say that you are 54?  The woman in that picture cannot be 54! Gee, and here I was already envious that you live in Calgary, so close to the mountains. I think my favourite drive in the world is heading from Calgary into the mountains, seeing them in front of me and anticipating being surrounded by them within minutes.  It's been too long since I've done that drive!

How do the appointment with the surgeon go?

I'm so glad it's an infection! I hope it clears up quickly though.

Benny, lol on being happy about an infection. This is one of the more amusing things about having cancer, suddenly all other ailments pretty much are cause for celebration, because at least they are not cancer. 

I hope I look as good as you in 5 years.

Benny, I did not post for a while, but have been reading here. Genuinely so happy for you that it's only an infection. As time goes by, you will get accustomed to the 'new normal'. Yes, you will get used to it. It sounds crazy, but it is the truth. The more you learn and educate yourself, the less scared you will be. If you know what you are facing, you can prepare yourself, and then you are in charge of the situation. You are the boss, not just another cancer victim. No way! You should become the most important player on your medical team against the cancer beast. Together you will beat this thing - it's the only way to go.

Diamond is a beautiful horse, and you will be riding him for many years to come. Trust me! (((HUGS!)))

Benny, I'm still awake. My advice is to phone your doctor tomorrow first thing, and tell him what is going on. Make that decision now, and you will have more peace. Then try to sleep a little. (((HUGS!)))

Benny, try to take a deep breath. It is, as best as I know, highly unlikely that you have suddenly developed IBC on top of the previous cancer. It is far more likely that you have a nasty infection that needs a different or stronger anti-biotic. Get a hold of the doc as soon as possible and insist that they see you right away and deal with it properly. You should not have to go through all this anguish.

Hi Bennie,  your infection may just be going through a phase, you know "gets worse before it gets better" type of thing.  Trust me I freak out at every little ache of pain I have. My onc calls me his little hypocondriac!!  Hey better safe than sorry!!  On to better things: I am losing a week of riding thanks to hurricane sandy!! Next year hoping to have the indoor arena up then inclement weather will not be a factor.  I just go hang out at the barn and brush the horses and take in their horsey smell!! (Sigh,,, I just love that smell)  There is nothing like the smell of a barn full of hay and horses on a cold rainy day, or heck anyday!!  Take care of yoursef and when you start to feel hopeless visualize yourself healthy and riding. I am seeing a hypnotherapist via skype and he is helping me be more positive and relax using breathing and deep visualization.  It has helped so far.  There is a powerful connection between mind and body. Visualize your healthy cells beating back any remaining cancer cells, really see it and it will happen!!  I have done some research on the mind/body connection and it really is amazing. 

((((HUGS))))Cheryl

Benny, I really hope you can get this cleared up soon. Please let us know what the doc says. Also, do not be shy about demanding real answers.

Good grief! You would think they would see you immediately, since it is most likely a complication of surgery. But then I am used to Greek docs of the private variety.

Breathe!

Any chance you can go for a walk or a ride?

Benny, I think you need a stronger antibiotic or maybe it will settle down the more antibiotics you get in you. Enjoy the horses today, I love the smell of horses too!!....we have a ton of snow....can't get too far today..heavy snowfall warning today....



Hope everyone is having a SE day!

Bennymuffins, hope you get some relief soon. Sure it is just not responding to this antibiotic but think they should see you sooner.

Dakota good luck with chemo, starting mine tomorrow so scared I want to run away !! If one more person tells me it will be fine I will flatten them. Sure I will be, just wish they could come to the house and do it. One bit of advice I had is to take lemon flavoured sweets to suck as they help, don't know how but some in my bag. Will let you know how it goes I am just being a big baby.

Hugs to you Benny.

Dakota Thank you sure we will soon be old hands at this chemo stuff ha ha.

Dakota and Edith, I am starting my 4th and final AC in another week. You will be fine, it is scary the first time. You will walk out of there feeling no different. Make sure the nausea meds they give you work, if you feel sick at all call them at the clinic...drink lots of fluids to flush the drug out of your system. Use baby wipes to save your *****region from the harsh drug. Always remember this drug will help you, small price for your life!

My nails have held up but my skin on my hands is so dry from hand sanitizer. Also get onto the November chemo thread or start one for people starting chemo in November so you can walk this path with people going through exactly what you are. I am thinking of you, breathe, you will be fine.

Liefie-

Thanks. I will keep that in mind. What about latisse and silica?? Any thoughts ?