Fuzzy's Romp Room
Comments
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GG...thank you. You're the sweetest of the sweet. I'm on the oxycodone. My oncologist wants me off of it. LOL. Kinda funny. I laugh because I want off It too! Just isn't going to happen yet. I will try to get that pic. I think I know which one. I believe its in my FB album so I'll get in there today.
Oh the pup. He's a snuggler alright. He's my boy and I'm his girl.
Is that a painting you hung up? It must be beautiful. As creative as you are and you found your next place....I am sure Nothing can compare.
My DH called me just a bit ago. He is self employed, a builder, works so hard. He was crying. Our storage and his work trailer was robbed last night. I'm so sad. He works so hard to keep his tools and work and everything and these thieves just scavenge off of the innocent. I'd really like Romp find them and do terrible things to them...an eye for an eye. Nothing I hate more than a thief. My DH is so upset. I'm going to go see him now...naturally when I get upset I come here...I'll be back later with more detail...
((((Hugs)))) -
Dogeyed. Thanks so much for your post.. I have had a busy weekend. Daughter, son in law and my 2 granddaughters here for the weekend. Son and daughter in law came over both days too. I love having everyone together. Doesn't happen often as my daughter and her family live out of state. Only 1 1/2 away but still to far for my liking!!!! Anyway son in law is building new landing and stairs from house to garage and he is very much a perfectionist. They will be the best built garage stairs I. The neighborhood when he is done. That's right he is not done yet.... But that is a good thing cause that means they will be coming back up again maybe next weekend.... They grandchildren keep me going which is a good thing. Less time for me to think of poor me!!!! They had me playing games and reading books and watching movies and giving them rides in my wheelchair....
I need to learn that I can come here and get some hugs too. I am not one to open up to my feelings but I guess I need to learn how to do that and not keep everything inside..
Ok GG so here goes... I am sad, mad, wanting to know why me what did I do to have to take this all on (breast cancer, blood clots, multiple bypasses and now amputation). I am sitting here crying as I write this.... But then I get over it and go back to my upbeat positive self and move on... I am quite brave in front of other people, except my husband who hates to see me cry......
Ok off to eat breakfast.. I have opened up a little to all of you. We will see where this leads...
Have a good day everyone...
Cindy -
sas - I will see who I can find - thanks for the suggestion! Could be a challenge, but maybe I'll get lucky! I have a great endocrinologist I saw years back, but stopped and just let my PCP handle it b/c my levels were fine and I felt great - not so much anymore. Maybe I'll at least start with her.
fuzzy - sooo upset about your hubby's tools. Sooo wrong. Love on him and keep us posted.
Cindy - it takes just as much bravery to open up to people as it does to put on a strong front. I'm sorry your DH hates to see you cry, but if you need that outlet, then tell him tough tarts! You need to get those feelings out or they will eat you up inside and wreak more havoc on your body. You are strong and brave because you have to be, but you are also a human being, a woman, who is dealing with more crap than anyone should have to. Cry if you want, yell if you want, do what you have to do to make it one more day. Wish I could send my DS to give you the biggest hug ever. He is 6' 4" and wraps his arms around you and makes you feel like you are protected from the world. But since I can't, please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and virtual hugs to you!
Vicky
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Cindy -
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DogEyed, thank you for your post. My Doc wrote the rx for 60 tablets, it is the insurance co that will only release 4 at a time. Grrrr.
Crog it is so great that your kids are coming over. Your SIL sounds super too. The grandkids are just the best aren't they. I had a new GD 11 days after I started chemo. How wonderful that was for me.
Fuzzy, I am so sorry your husbands tools got stolen. My dad was in construction too and that happened to him more than once. Kids would come by and break out all the windows in his crane too. My Dad took such good care of his crane and it got burned up in a building fire. It broke his heart. I am so sorry for your husband and you about this.
Ginger
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MamaV my husband is supportive and helpful in everyway possible.. I just meant he hates to see me cry, but he is good to me with hugs when I need them and even when I don't.... I know I do have troubles opening up to people and need to work on that...
Thanks all for the hugs. I really needed them today. I am extra tired having two little ones here all weekend. I feel weepy today too and know that some of it is from being overtired so everything always seems worse...
Ginger grand kids are the best and are what have kept me going through all of this for almost 2 years. I love them so much and just want to see them grow up, go to college, get married and have kids of their own. Is that so much to ask for!!!!!! That must have helped keep your mind off from chemo as much when your new granddaughter came along!!!!!
Thanks Veggy for the hugs.....
When I was in the hospital this last time my roommate had come in for removal of a polyp. Ended up they had to operate to get it as it had grown. They did a biopsy on it (had told her not to worry that it was very unlikely that it would be cancerous 8% I think she said they told her). Well it came back cancerous and one node was positive so she is starting chemo this Wednesday. She has 12 treatments every other week and has to go home with some sort of bag that she keeps on for I think she said 36 hours and then goes back to have that taken off... So sad that there is so much cancer out there. My daughters friend who is 29 or 30 found out she had breast cancer and then found out she was pregnant... Her nodes were all fine so at least there is no chemo.... When will it end!!!!!!!
Cindy -
OK...have to share....... lost my rt nipple last week and due to surgery I'm overdo for a fill. We're doing the speedy gonzales route.....200 at surgery , 100 at first fill post op day 10 (didn't KNOW it was going to be a fill day)......and I'll admit that hurt. The nurse told me to take something prior to coming for fills, and gave me scripts after fill for a 3 day supply of Robaxin and a pain med - needed and taken after 110 in left and 120 in right.
NOW she's got me scheduled for 230 tomorrow (it was 10:30 but doc is in surgery then and not anvailable for fill)......and I have no pre-med to stay ahead of it. We're set for the last fill...andother close to 100 since I want this done before work comes back to haunt me.
Here's your sign.
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I don't know what it is about the medical oncologist, but going there sure puts me in a lousy mood. She confirmed there is no current evidence of recurrence. I should be in a good mood. I just really hate that building. I resent having to go into it. (As I said to my mother as we were walking in there: I'm sure everyone else is thrilled to go into that building.) Right?
Hang in there Cindy. I hope you are feeling better. You have been through so much. Gosh, Nancy too! Why, oh why, must so much be dumped on a person?
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Cindy - so happy to hear your hubby is awesome!!! Makes a huge difference in this crummy battle!
Dunes - i know what u mean. I get pissed off at cancer every time I call me MOs office and they answer "cancer center". I hate that!!! -
MamaV. That's for sure. I don't know how I would have made it this far without my family support!!!!
Dunes. I have to go to my oncologist next week and I am not looking forward to going into that building either....
Cindy -
Gosh I hope I am in a better mood tomorrow. Today was rough.
Fuzzy, I'm so sorry your husband's tools were stolen. That's rotten! I sure could use a man who could do some drywall and spackling and painting and electrical. That would be sweeeeeet! lol I really suck at this stuff. I want to be good at it. I really do. But I have come to the conclusion that I suck at it.
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Ginger and Mama---I recently chose to go off the AI"s b/c of QOL . month by month I'm feeling better. I would not try to influence anyone lurking to go off the drugs that could be lifesaving. But when quality of life--QOL- comes into conflict then choices must be made-------each has the line in the sand----we draw our line. Only each of us knows where that line is, no other can know that point. But for those lurking seek much counsel and guidance.
Folks twin is dyeing-----she is a shithead that will not follow anyones direction---please pray for her. My heart is breaking, plus a premonition that we will die at the same time----sucks doesn't it-----awful to lay this on you but womb to tomb-----I've only let that fear be known this day. Yet have held it for years. Definitely sucky to say it now, but she's in serious trouble now.. I'm scared for her and I'm scared for me. If something happens to me I will leave whomever chooses to be the conveyor of news. I don't want things to be the same way as Frank----trying to search a course.
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Fuzzy, keep an eye out on Craigs List. Several people here have found their stolen items that way. One even made arrangements to buy his items back, then called the police to be there when they came.
SAS, I think that fear is a pretty common one. My mother died at 23 (I was 4). I breathed such a sigh of relief when I passed that date.
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Gingerbrew---same thingy----huge muscle bone and joint pain reduction since I quit Aromasin----three years now trying the three ---all they caused was fibromyaigia, osteoporsis, and pain----and other stuff---done---nada QOL, done with the shoe dropping b/c of another thing caused by the drugs----(*&%$ them.Last fiasco was passing a bladder stone caused by Miacalcin that was taken to counteract the osteoporosis caused bby the AI's-----I'm done------with the stuff----may be------who knows------till wathever else comes up
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Fuzzy my dad had 3 bars and a restaurant--- his advice was if you feel like throwing up within a short time of a meal-----throw up or stick your finger down your throat to induce vomiting---b/c something is wrong. When evr I followed the advice --it was quickly resolved ---when I didn't it wasn't----old phrase "better out than in"
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SAS, I understand. I am feeling a little more human each day. The migraines have stopped. If they don't come back I will know it is the Aromasin as nothing else has changed. I will talk to my doc then to see if there is another AI that I should try.
I too am feeling messed up. I really am staying home all the time. I don't think I am agoraphobic but I do stay home all the time. I don't think the sky will fall on me or anything but I do stay home all the time. I do feel secure at home, secure. After decades of constant travel my DH isn't traveling except very occasionally.
I don't know when I last got dressed in more than a robe.
I am on 150 Effexor and sure don't want Paxil again, it made me like the walking dead. My feeling are suppressed even on Effexor, I really don't cry or feel like crying.
Ging
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Wheeww last post was from fuzzy's post a page ago
What's happenned on this last page just really sucks.
We're a mess. It sucks. I repeat It sucks.
Thank you all for a place to go to that we can release all that sucks.
I lost a couple of friends over what I'm going to share, but they never had bad stuff happen to them.
Camp song tune---don't know the tune to tell you , but it was a pledge song, used it lifelong sinse, screamed it at times , it was like taking valium. Might be wiped out by mods. But it was hugely useful.
Shit damn hell, son of a bastard -bitch, rape screw, fuck you and you can go to hell too.
When working in the operating room taught this to a friend that needed it, also taught it to a doc. He was a post vietnam doc.. Only two nurses in the operating room could keep him in "control" Meridith and me. One day we were all assigned in the same room. Meridith was the srub(passing instruments), I the circulator, and he as doc. Great day - Wrong. He was this humoungous bastard. It was a thyroid case. We got the sx going and I turned to fill the paper work out and started humming. Meridith heard me and she started humming. The surgeon layed down his work tools. I looked--Merideth looked----we all looked at each other. He said "am I being such a bastard"---Merideth and I looked at each other and then at him and said in unison "yes". He apoligised--picked up his instruments, we went through the whole day--it was a joy. A moment in time we all shared b/c we shared a common phrase that held a meaning by a camp song tune that had all the BAD words .
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love the "song" sas - our family cuss for the last 15 years or so is "shit fart hell piss damn - goddamn mofo spit" stolen from a kid down the block. DH and I didn't cuss when the kids were young which is the way we were both raised - the kids were amazed how much their parents vocabulary changed after they were "out of the nest"....
i'm back having sob problems - can hardly walk from one end of the house to the other. of course my first thoughts are of mets but i am really really sure is it due to my weight. i'm trying to lose weight and hope that will help. at least i have a scooter so i can get around the big stores that don't have their own scooters available.
martha
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Hi mostly,
I put on a lot of weight since this all started in 2010 and I was no tinkerbelle sprite before then either.
I am just surprised at how ongoingly depressed I seem to be. I am having symptomsof on going depression. Lack of interest in things that I know I love and like. I used to be an active person . I need to figure this out to get past it. I need to ask for help now. seriously ask for help.
I hope you get some sleep it is still dark here.
GInger
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Sorry for everybodys troubles, makes me feel like my situation is not even worth complaining about. Hope we all find what we need to keep us going.
I am on effexor little over a month now and yes i think it does kind of dull everything from pain to joy, but at least it means i can get through the day without making an idiot of myself. My theory about becoming addicted to all these meds is that i may need them for the rest of my life anyway so not worrying about the getting off them part. Just my opinion know eveeyone does not feel this way.
Anyway off to my blood draw, getting my wig styled this aft and then chemo tomorrow. -
Ridergirl you complain all that you want! It looks like you are on the same chemo I was on Dose Dense then TAxol. It can be rough stuff and you need a place to vent.
Hugs Ginger
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I finally got the okay to shower.
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Ridergirl everyone has their own set if complaints so complain away. As I have been told you need to get it out and not keep it in. I am just learning how to do this...
Veggy yah on being able to take a shower.... I can take a shower but still have to bag my leg so nothing gets wet...
Today is a better day then yesterday!!!!
Dune hope you are having a better day today!!!!
Cindy -
Hurray for showers!!!! My shower is my fav time of day can't wait til i get home to moms and i can have a BATH!!
And yes i am usually really good at keeping it all in too so also trying to learn not to -
Its easier for me to open up here and vent. I can't do it in front of people. I keep it all in. I haven't said too much lately. I'm in my zone, my comfort place. I've been reading.
My shower felt good, so good. Its been a week since my surgery and now I don't feel like a scum. I smell good.
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Hello hello everyone!! I've felt pretty lousy the last few days but I think its getting better. The pain killers help the pain but Really make me feel like shit. I looked at Foobie today and that's pretty scary...its a shade of purple the entire lower half and its all divoted...like TOOOO stretched out...its nasty. And, its really hard. Its weird.
DH is so depressed about the robbery. His buddy called him today and there may be stuff on Craig's List! Good call! He's been through so much trying to keep his business going. And for people to steal from someone who works so hard....its evil...but, I do believe in karma...oh yeah...
SAS...prayers for you and Shithead. You've sang that song to me!! LOL! So I was singing it tonight!
Crog, Mama, Ginger, Simply, Dunes, Veggy, Nancy...all of us who are here...I'm really proud of you all. Its difficult to be comfortable in speaking our truths - the pain, the fear, worries and scares...even discussing stuff that's heavy on our hearts and minds. But we have collected as a family group with unconditional love and support...we gave each other permission to be free of restrictions....we gave each other, each other. I'm proud of you for finding the strength to let yourself talk. Nothing is too big or too small here. Its all important. -
I've always known that BCO was a special place for me...but as time has gone by, I literally speak about you all as friends-sisters-soul mates...if you didn't let me into your world, be just who you are, I wouldn't be able to feel or say that. I can tell you, I cry when you do...I laugh when you do, too. I'm proud of all of us. We fight this shit, take our licks, and return to the ring day after day...knowing we always have a sister on each arm (and in our pockets!)
I really hope I'm making sense...what I'm trying to say is thank you...you are an amazing bunch. -
Fuzzy so sorry to.hear what happened to your DH! Man there are some lousy people in this world. And then there are all you wonderful ladies who help us all keep going and i love you all for that :-)
Chemo tomorrow lots of room in my bag for whoever wants to come along. Hands and arms inside while the vehicle is in motion ladies ;-) -
Rider....I love you too sweetie!! Count me in for the ride!!! Hmmm...can I "car surf"? Oh that is a memory of my dumb youth! Big big hug Rider!! Xoxoxo
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Dear Mods...
Thank you, too. Afterall, your house, your rules.
Sincerely,
Every Rock Star in the Joint
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