Do you/have you planned for when this beast comes back?

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PiscesMoon
PiscesMoon Member Posts: 206
edited June 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

weird question, right?  this is the month when i do.  i check my personal time at work, plan for how i'll emotinally react, try and figure out how to make sure my family will make it if i go stage 4 and leave this realm.  i know it sounds morbid.  but i don't like surprises.  i like to be prepared.  after that first dx and the surprise/shock i don't want to go through that again.  i guess this is my way of being prepared if this happens.  right now i'm pretty convinced it's not 'if' rather it's 'when'.  anyone else?

~M

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  • SillyMama
    SillyMama Member Posts: 173
    edited October 2012

    That's probably at least in the back of the mind of most women here. Once my body has betrayed me, I will never feel completely "safe" in it again. Yes, my blood pressure goes up every time I visit my MO and get that mammo/US.

    But, for me, I'm also very aware that there's no guarantee my final event will be cancer, and worrying ahead of time doesn't make it happen or not. I have two girlfriends with MS... we're all doing life one day at a time.

    If the preparations give you more peace, then it's a great thing. If it gets in the way of enjoying today, that would be another thing.

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  • LtotheK
    LtotheK Member Posts: 2,095
    edited October 2012

    I don't think it's weird at all.  I have been far more vigilant in my planning, really cleaned up my files, gotten my husband's name on all the beneficiary stuff, made my life much more transparent. This is all planning for the worst scenario.  As the saying goes, "Plan for the worst, hope for the best."

    I am also taking much better care of myself, with the idea that I want to avoid being a burden to my husband and family.

    And I also agree that you can't truly plan for what will happen, nor should you.  If there's one thing I've learned in life, whatever you expect, count on about the opposite!  I mean, after all, I never expected BC in the first place.

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  • wrsmith2x
    wrsmith2x Member Posts: 410
    edited October 2012

    PiscesMoon, 

    I feel just like this.  I feel like I put on a mask of "I'm fine" daily when in reality I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I don't talk to anyone about it but I do blog about it.  People don't understand unless they have been through it.  But I feel your pain.  I send hugs your way and hope that we never have to deal with the BEAST again.  Much love to you.  Namaste'.

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  • clickhere4dawn
    clickhere4dawn Member Posts: 28
    edited October 2012

    I have thought about when the beast comes back and yet my reaction was different.  I decided that I will live life to the fullest and not live a day with regrets.  My favorite saying from Maya Angelo is - "we do the best we can, when we know better, we do better."

    My family history with cancer is long - my great grandmother, grand mother and great Aunt all died before forty, my uncle died at 40 and my father at 52.  I ever wished it upon myself, but always knew I too would face the beast in my life.  I am BRCA2 gene positive and I know (again not wishing or willing it upon myself) know I will face the beast again.  I will not lie down, I will fight till my soul has become complete and I am called home.

    So this time in between, I WILL make this time between MY LIFE!  I WILL Live!  And when my journey is complete - I will leave with peace knowing my children, my family and my friends know I loved them with my whole heart.  I lived my life to the fullest I could and when I go home - my soul will live on within them.

    Be organized is not a bad thing but please don't spend the rest of your journey looking for that other shoe!  Get a NEW, BRIGHT, SHINY Pair and let that other shoe go!

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  • Blessings2011
    Blessings2011 Member Posts: 4,276
    edited October 2012

    PiscesMoon - we're all going to die (but not necessarily of BC), and personally I've been through too many deaths where the people who passed were completely unprepared for that eventuality. It made a huge mess for those of us left behind, so DH and I have our wills and powers-of-attorney's all made out, and in a few months, will put everything into a trust. We have good nursing home insurance that will pay if we are in a facility, hospice, or at home.

    Now, having said that, I have no plans to die or become debilitated until I am quite old.

    Yes, I know what the statistics say about BC and recurrence, and I for one, don't care.

    I have changed my diet and my lifestyle, and am living as healthily as I can. I am talking the drug (Anastrozole) the MO prescribed for me. I've lost weight and exercised, and now I figure I feel good enough to enjoy the (many) years I have left on this earth.

    Before I got my dx, it really WAS a matter of "when" not "if". Now that's over, I do believed I have been healed of my cancer. My husband has severe kidney disease, and we believe he is being healed, as well. We trust in our doctors and other practioners, as well as in holistic health.

    We figure we will enjoy perfect health either in this life or the next, so there really isn't much to worry about.

    (But that's just us....Smile )

    p.s. clickhere4dawn - that's my favorite Maya Angelou saying, too!!!! I heard it "We do the best we can with what we know; when we know better, we do better."

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