Liver Lesions on Ultrasound
For the past few months, my stomach has been upset and I've been feeling bloated. I've been thinking (and hearing) gall bladder. My GP ordered an abdominal ultrasound on Friday. The report notes three hyperechoic lesions (nonspecific in appearance) on my liver, the largest being about 1 cm. My gall bladder is fine. My liver enzymes are all normal. My docs are following up with an MRI this Thursday. Needless to say, I am freaking out. I can handle either outcome, I just can't stand the waiting and obsessing. I've had other findings on scans that were all false alarms. They didn't freak me out like this one. Why is it so hard this time? How do I put it out of my mind until Thursday? I've already wasted two days of my life. I don't want to waste the next four.
Comments
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I would love to hear that someone out there had a similar experience and it turned out to be nothing...
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I have liver mets; they were diagnosed in May 2011. So, I am your worst case scenario. FYI: Never had bloating or stomach upset and most of us with liver mets don't have symptoms.
Remember, all they found was abnormalities on your liver and as I have discovered with my 20 something scans, we have as many lumps and bumps inside as outside. It could be hemangiomas or many other things aside from cancer - the word hypoechoic is not diagnostic. I also had a lesion on my lung that has never changed, and now it is believed to be scar tissue.
But, I understand your worry and fear. If there is one thing I've learned since I was diagnosed with mets, is that there is absolutely nothing you can do about any of it. I love this quote: The only power you have is that within your mind. Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy. ~Leo Buscaglia
Whatever is there - is there. Odds are it's not mets. But if it is, you can't change it. You can only change your reaction to this time of nervousness.
So, how do you not obsess? I will give you some concrete things to do.
The #1 thing is to stay off the Internet. Dr. Google is a terrible diagnostician. You always, always get what you are looking for when you google medical stuff, so if you think you have liver mets, you will find a million pages to confirm it. What you don't know are all the other things that it could be, since you are not a doctor. Since you don't know they exists, you never google for those and they don't come up. Only cancer does. So, stop googling.
Get outside. Take a walk. Walk your dog, go play with your kid, grandkid, stranger's kid.
Getting out of your environment helps clear your head, especially if it's out in nature when you can smell a flower or see a bird fly. You may have dark thoughts like "I'm going to die and not have many sunsets left" but you will find that even so, you will feel better after walking.
Read a good book. Not one about cancer or a woman who has cancer or whose husband died of cancer. Find something light, even chick lit is good. Immersing yourself in somebody elses live is a good way to forget fears for a time.
Shop. I know this might be superficial, but I like to shop and find beautiful things to take my mind off myself. Walking in a mall, seeing other people, being distracted - good things.
Friends. Call a friend, watch a chick flick, share your worry and then start giggling. Pop some popcorn, drink a beer, enjoy company.
Hot bubble bath, clean sheets. Never understimate the power of fresh sheets.
Did I mention stay off the Internet? Stay off the internet.
Finally, have faith within yourself. Whatever they tell you, you can manage it. You will probably hear it's nothing but if you hear that it's mets you can manage. All that stuff online about liver mets (that you shouldn't be reading) is wrong. The statistics are old and there are women who get many years of quality life with liver mets. But, you are not there yet.
Try to live within each hour, each minute. Pay attention to where you are today, breathe out and get on with your life.
Good luck. Post back with your results.
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Woah, what happened? The OPs post just disappeared.....one minute after I wrote mine. So sorry if something offended....?
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Um, okay, the question was still in my browser so it was:
For the past few months, my stomach has been upset and I've been feeling bloated. I've been thinking (and hearing) gall bladder. My GP ordered an abdominal ultrasound on Friday. The report notes three hyperechoic lesions (nonspecific in appearance) on my liver, the largest being about 1 cm. My gall bladder is fine. My liver enzymes are all normal. My docs are following up with an MRI this Thursday. Needless to say, I am freaking out. I can handle either outcome, I just can't stand the waiting and obsessing. I've had other findings on scans that were all false alarms. They didn't freak me out like this one. Why is it so hard this time? How do I put it out of my mind until Thursday? I've already wasted two days of my life. I don't want to waste the next four.
And then the second post was:
I would love to hear that someone out there had a similar experience and it turned out to be nothing...
Just in case somebody finds it and has the same question....I worked hard on my answer!
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HI Ann- just stumbled upon this and your answer was GREAT and so so appropriate to any type of scanxiety!!!
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Thanks! Those of us with mets have scans every three months (or more often in my case) and so we have to learn coping mechanisms or our life would be nothing but stress.
A little ativan never hurts either.
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I love your answer as well, beatifully written, I wish I could follow this advice consistently.
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Thank you Ann for responding to that woman, what you said was beautiful and very thoughtful. The timing of this post is chilling. My best friend was sent into a liver US for stomach burning, bloating and the radiologist said she has metastasized legions. He sent her away saying she is healthy; her GP got the results and was aphalled by the radiologist statements and is sending her in for a MRI. My friend is super scared, she thinks she has may have cancer, you hear mets and it sounds like cancer. I assured her she'll get a dx after the MRI; what her radiologist said is not a dx! Do you or anyone else reading this post have anything I can share with her to help ease her mind? I already told her to stay away from Dr. Google. She is a young mother of 2 and her hubby is serving in the middle east until Christmas. Thank you.
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CoolBreeze! I'm so sorry. I hadn't seen your post when I deleted. I tend to deal with things much more in the way you describe and felt like a fool for panicking and obsessing. I couldn't stand to read my own panic so I deleted my post.
I love your quote. I'm going to paste on my phone background. Your words are very wise and much needed right now.
I have abnormalities on every scan that never seemed as worrisome. They just didn't make sense to me and always turned out to be nothing. This one is harder. I don't know if it is because I feel awful or I'm further out and life feels more normal. I did make it into work yesterday, although I got nothing done. I managed to do some yoga. I made it outside and it was gorgeous. A perfect fall day. "Outside" really does make me feel better.
I don't do much of the I'm going to die. It is more like I can't stand being sick. I feel pathetic and weak. I hate it. I hate pity and people giving me those sad looks. It's been so nice to have hair and have no one know anymore. I don't want to go back there.
I had my MRI last night. Hopefully I will hear something today. My docs are pretty good that way.
Thank you for the time you put into your post. You are a beautiful writer and a generous person. I've read many of your posts on these boards and want you to know they are a huge comfort.
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Jill47 -- I'll post my results. Its not clear with me whether your friend has already been diagnosed with bc (or some other cancer). If you can be more specific about a dx and what her report said, people might be able to give your more info.
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Hi Kml, thank you for responding, she does not have bc (has never had a mammogram though and is in her 40's) and has no family history of any cancers. I appreciate your help. I hope your MRI results are good. will you get a dx from the MRI. Is liver cancer dx different than bc where a bioposy is actually needed to dx bc ?
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Jill47- From what I understand I will get more information from the MRI than the ultrasound could provide but it won't necessarily be the final word. If they can't rule out cancer in my case, I suspect they will either biopsy it or rescan in a few months. I am not sure. Because this started with my GP, I haven't spoken to oncology yet.
When findings on an ultrasound are suspicious or unclear but there is a history of cancer, the next step is MRI. MRI is supposed to be the best test for distinguishing malignant lesions from other lesions. From what I've been told and read, nothing is cancer until they put it under a microscope and a pathologist sees cancer. There are certain findings on ultrasound that are more indicative of cancer than other findings but if they are concerned they follow up with more tests.
I hope your friend gets a copy of her report so she can see exactly what it says. I usually find I feel better with more information and concrete information. I've also learned over the years that freaking out is a waste of time and energy but I think we all do it and it takes time and enough scares to learn not too. I wish I were better at rememering that this time around. Wish her my best.
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Hi kml - your message is very reassuring and you gave me good tips for my friend. I thought too the only way to dx cancer is under a microscope and read by a pathologist, thank you for the confirmation! I'll make sure she gets a copy of report.
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Okay, I hope you don't mind that I reposted your post. I wasn't trying to offend you or anything but so many people share their fears the way you did, I thought people down the road might want to see what I had responded to. And, there is nothing wrong with what you are feeling - it's normal. We all have those moments of panic and fear but letting it take over is what must be avoided.
Please post the result of the test, okay? I'll be thinking of you!
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Hi All,
I'm perfectly fine with you reposting my post and I completely understand that we are all scared. Its just "unnatural" for me to put it out there and it was painful to look at.
The good news is that I ultimately had an MRI that showed my spots to be hemangiomas. Although part of me feels bad saying that for all of those who aren't off the hook.
Coolbreeze-- Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Your words were a much needed reminder of where I need to live with this disease. I fell off the wagon. But I learned where I don't want to be and have learned to be a better advocate for myself.
I am still struggling with my stomach upest and weight loss. I am down to a vegan diet to maintain any appetite. I do worry that it is just a matter of time until they point to my liver or some other place to explain my lack of appetite and my inability to tolerate any fat in my diet. I am down to 121 lbs from 135. I tell myself my body is readjusting but I worry that it is cancer making in roads in my chemo-disinfected body. But I will "wait and see" and hope and pray that I have beat this thing, yet I say that with a heavy heart knowing how many people can't say that.
Peace.
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