Starting Chemo October 2012

P.S. I was his youngest patient ever

Wow Poke theres a first no one ever wanted! So sorry for that.

First AC last thurs dont feel too bad nausea hasnt been a huge issue just really tired, still working pretty much full time so that doesnt help with fatigue. Got my wig today and planning to cut or buzz my hair soon. Having some issues with big D today but hopefully that will subside its about the only thing i dont have meds for lol



Hugs and hope to all you wonderful ladies

Thanks! You didn't even have conscious sedation!!? You are much braver than I!! 

Poke, I definitely had conscious sedation! But he did say going to the dentist was worse. I asked what it was - 50 mg of Fentanyl and I think 10 mg of Versad. I know you are a pharmacist. I had the procedure about 4:15 PM and managed to play a board game that evening but I did feel "hungover" somewhat thoughout the weekend and not from alcohol!

Well, today is 11 days since my first TC infusion. Yesterday I was brushing my hair and there was a little tangle at the end so I gently tugged and my first clump of hair came with it. 😢 I didn't cry but for some weird reason I saved it. I think I want to make a scrap book. Not sure why I want to remember this part of my life but it is still part of my life however I look at it!!!! I want to know that when its over I came out on top!!!! I want to laugh at my bald head as I do at say, how much weight I gained when I was pregnant.



Tomorrow evening my 2 youngest daughters, 7 & 4, are cutting my hair however they want and then shaving it on a high number guard. Friday I have my labs (praying my WBC is up) and then I have an appointment to pick up my wig and get my head buzzed to the scalp. The PinkHeartFunds.org is a local (even though they do have means to ship nationally) organization that does it all for free. I've sat with the founder twice and looked through a book of wigs and found the color that best matches my hair. I'm nervous yet anxious. Once my hair is gone I will feel as though the chemo is working. I will know it is at least killing SOME fast growing cells. My entire journey, as I'm sure most of yours, seems like its a hurry and wait game. I feel like nothing is happening even though all of my procedures and treatment has happened very fast. Maybe I'm crazy.



I hope you ladies have a wonderful day. 🌸🌷💐🌻🌺

Sere-good luck with everything!

Good luck Sere. Hope you have minimal side effects my friend!

Andrea- it is ok to vent or be miserable on here. We all feel, have felt, or will feel something similar throughout this journey.

I've been married for 5 years. I am blessed to have a partner who is really open with communication, but I know even he is struggling through this. I think it's important to remember that your husband is scared now, and it probably takes a lot of effort for him to stay strong for you. My guess is that he doesn't want you to feel pressured or unhappy in any way, because he just loves you so much. Talk to him, tell him how you're feeling. I know my husband and I have talked about the physical ways our relationship will change/has changed, and it is a conversation that will continue to happen as we go through this process. Just remember- he loves you- not your hair, not your breasts, not any other single part of you. He loves the person who is Andrea.

Thanks so much for the kind words everyone! I do feel a bit better today.  It just depends on whether the roller coaster is going up or down.   I am so very lucky to have a wonderful husband who is trying to keep it all together for me....I guess we do need to talk about the reality of this. It just kills me to burden him even more.  I did check out a book at the library for him...I can't remember the exact name of it, but it helps men get through this diagnosis also.  There are so many layers to "surviving" this mess!  I am feeling very lonely for my girlfriends, and I think my best friend from high school may be coming up from FL to see me soon.  That will help me feel better, and take a bit of the strain off of my husband.

Sere-I hope everything went well for you today!

Poke- I do know what you're going through with moving! I was born and raised in FL, and it can be a tough place. FL is so transient that people do not take the time to get to know one another and create strong bonds.  People can seem stand-offish.  I hope you develop a close network of people you can relate to! As for your scars--I hope that you can find the strength to look at yourself soon. Everything will come in it's own time, and when you're ready though.  I know when I got my GI Jane "do", it took every bit of strength I had to look into the mirror that first time. I can't say how I'll feel after my surgery. I hope you find peace with it soon, and the dread that comes with that first look eases.

Marlene- I hope things get better for you & your SO.  It has to be a hard decision to have him move out & be completely alone (although that may bring peace and time to clear your head). Working out does help. Once we get into our new home, I am looking forward to walking through our small neighborhood.  I may meet some neighbors that way as well. I also know my MO said there are studies that show promise where exercise is concerned. It's shown that women who exercise during treatment (as prescribed by their MD's) have a lower instance of BC recurrence!

Beth-thanks for the support. Sometimes when we get a little dark, it helps to have someone point things out to you. Trying to remember that my husband needs support too helps me take my mind off of myself. When I was first diagnosed, all I could do was apologize to him for getting cancer. I feel worse for him than I do myself....I think that's why I worry about how he sees me. I know he loves me and not my boobs or my hair...but as silly as it sounds, I feel bad/guilty that he has to work harder to find the positives in me these days.

Mrs Cich-how goes it with the hair?  Nothing yet for me....with my luck....I buzzed it all off and will be the one in a million on TCH that DOESN'T lose their hair! LOL I'm sure your girls will have fun playing beauty parlor. It has to be hard keeping it light with little ones. Mine are older, and can understand how losing your hair affects a woman.  I don't have to have my "game face" on all the time. My sister-in-law let her daughter dye her hair and cut it into a mohawk before it fell out.

Goldfinch- Thanks for the support and encouragement! Long lasting marriages take a lot of good communication.  It sounds like you are off to a very good start with your marriage, and a husband who communicates well is a HUGE part of that! 

I hope everyone is resting tonight and side effect free. I have one dopey nurse at my cancer center...and I got her today. My first infusion she forgot to attach my chemo tubing and the pump ran it into the chair the first 10 minutes or so (thank goodness it was going slow). Yesterday (Wed), she gave me benadryl before my herceptin when I really didn't need it. Ended up sleeping it off for 2 hrs past my 30 min. infusion and still had to take a nap in the afternoon. So....now I am up....AGAIN!

Have a wonderful Thursday everyone!!   ~Andrea

Hi All

Thanks for starting up this thread....hoping to get to know some of you a bit better through our 'journey'

October is Breast Cancer month and we are starting our chemo in the best month of all hey !!

I just got told today that my chemo would be starting on the 14th October though I have managed to delay this a week so that I can get my wig organised from the US ( i'm in AUST) and also get my prescription from the fertility clinic which I need to take 10 days prior to chemo starting (only met up with the specialist this week as everything is so rushed) though its good its moving quickly but its soooooo overwhelming on decisions etc I'm going a little crazy (crazier some people would say!!)

In 1996 I had Hodgkin's Lymphoma so they had to really look into the types of chemo that would be right for me so I'm going to be on Taxotere ( docetaxel) for every 3 weeks for 3 rounds then on Methatrexate and 5-FU for 2 weeks on 3 weeks off. Finishing everything in Feb 2013!!

(doesn't seem too far away, apparently this is much easier than the previous stuff I was on (along with stem cell transplant and radiation I had) therefor I cant have any radiation to the chest or neck again.!

I was in a long term effects clinic here where at 30years old I started having Mammo's. Had one at 30 and then no more until this year...age 34!!

I self diagnosed myself and had MRI then straight after was booked for ultrasound anyway for my thyroid so I had a breast ultrasound too....I knew something wasn't right looking at that screen.

1 week later I had a lumpectomy along with sentinal biopsy 2/2 came back positive. So 1 week later back in for Axillary disection (that was 2 weeks ago) everything seems to be happening all at once and it's hard to concentrate on this and my 2 almost 3 year old son whom is cared for while I'm in between appts and work by my gorgeous and oh so supportive parents

My husband and I have been together for 14years and married 4years. He is too very supportive although we have had our ups and downs and I've already told him that if we are going to argue about pety things then we should leave eachother because I don't need this added stress on me........he doesn't want to go anywhere, he said we are in this together!!

I've already told him I didn't want him to see my 'head' with no hair and he laughs and says you'll look beautiful no matter what....he shaves his all the time so said we need to take photos together with 'no hair' lol...I laugh because I've already seen what I look like with no hair.....all I say is ' egg head' lol...thats what I look like but with make up on.....(have to see the humour in some of this too otherwise I'd go 'crazier'!

Intimacy I note you are talking about too....well.....after surgery it took a couple of weeks to get back into it..so to speak...but now its all back to normal....even though i'm still sore after my axillary disection......we are still at it....figure if I can still get into it now that when I'm on chemo and can't be bothered I can say that he's had his year worth and will have to wait til his birthday ... in March....lol

Thanks for listening to part of my story .

All the best to all you ladies.

Welcome from Australia Traii! What type of fertility treatments are you having while you are on chemo? I have not had the courage to look at wigs yet. I was confused, is your first treatment on 10/14 or a week after? 

I am so happy and jealous that you are still intimate with your husband - if I don't feel like it now, I know I certainly won't feel like it after my treatment begins next week   Plus, the more they expand my tissue, the more like an alien I feel!

My thoughts are with you from the other side of the world xoxo

I hate to intrude on this thread but i thought i might be able to share some of a husband or caregiver's experiences. I have tried to get my wife to join one of these groups but she doesn't like to "share" her feelings with strangers.

My wife's DX is .8CM Stage 1A, Grade 3, 0/6 Nodes and HER2+. She is 45 and pre-menopausal.

She had a lumptectamy with very little scarring. We had a great surgeon.

Before her first chemo treatment, the steriods she took the day before kept her hyper and we stayed up most of the night. It was the first time she felt being intimate since her surgery.

Her first treatment day went flawlessly. She was very talkative and had seem very normal. Even with me asking her every 15 minutes if she was ok.

That evening, the steriods kept her up late but she said she felt nothing bad. 

The day after, she seem normal, she even went outside to mess around in her garden. I preached to her that she shouldn't be in direct sunlight but she ignored me.

That afternoon, i injected her with the Neulasta shot. I was so worried because of the dangerous side effects. She said she felt fine and went to sleep at her normal time.

The very next day her hips ached because of the Neulasta shot and from what we read, it was a normal side affect. She took some tylonal 500mg and the pain went away.

She was fine for the next 3 weeks. Her hair did thin dramactically about a day before her next treatment. She is a black woman and always wears her hair naturally. I thought it would bother her but she said nothing and put on a scarf. With the hair that did fall out, we put it in a jar and burned it. I don't know why we had that ceremony but i was relieved how well she took the situation. 

 Her second treatment went the same as the first. The week after this treatment everything she ate tasted bad. I ordered carry out, cooked whatever she could think of but she could only eat a couple of bites even while taking the nausea medicine. Thankfully, those bites added up and she eventually got used not to taste but to eat.

The second week after this treatment, everything started to go badly. It was saturday night and she broke out with the worst hives possible, from her head to her feet. I had her take some of the steriods she takes before her treatments. The hives  went away instantly. I told her that i should take her to the ER but she said she was ok now.

The next day, she had severe heartburn, i gave her malox and the pain didn't go away. I then took her to the ER, i wanted to make sure that nothing was wrong with her heart. Once there and confirmed nothing was wrong with her heart, the doctors explain to us that the steriods causes severe heartburn. They prescribed us Carafax for the heartburn and that worked really well.

Now, the very next day before we could call the onocologist, she had severe pain in the area around her left breast and stomach. I took her to a clinic that was 3 minutes from the house. I didn't know if she could wait for an ambulance.

After pushing around that area, the doctor said her spleen is having "spasms" but the blood work for her spleen and pancreas wouldn't be available until the next day. She prescribed a pain killer and told us this will stop the spasms and that she will forward all results to her onocologist and primary doctor.

The pain killers did the trick but now, a couple of days later we were just informed that the chemo would be postponed and only the herceptin will be given. It will be explained to us tomorrow.

Our primary doctor also called for us to see her Monday about the spleen and pancreas results. She wouldn't be specific until after my wife has first seen the onocologist.

Needless to say i am very angry and i know my wife is very fearful now of this process.

God, what you ladies are going or have gone through is more than extraordinary.

God bless each and everyone of you.

Joseph, welcome to the board of extraordinary women. 😊 None of us want to be here but here we find solace and non-judgmental advice. These women are amazing!



I'm so sorry to hear of your wife's circumstances. Please let her know that we are all going through what she is and we all have bad days. We come here and vent and cry because WE can honestly say we understand. Even if she were to just read and not post, she could find some amazing guidance and an outlet for her fears.



I will be praying for you all. You remind me of my husband, who would do anything physically possible for me. He is my rock and the only one that's actually seen me cry through all of this.



Thank you or being their for your wife. She needs every bit of support you can offer. Please feel free to come back and chat with us any time.



((((HUGS))))

I read often and post sometimes.  This is the only place where I can laugh and cry at the same time.  I am at day 10 after my first treatment and also found that I had headaches, a couple of nights where I cannot sleep and definitely can relate to not feeling exactly sexy - even though my husband does his best to make me feel like a princess.

I do tend to be stressing him out a bit because I am insisting on having a will, living will and making him executor or both. He doesn't think we need such things but considering our age and careers we should have done this long ago. (He is a truck driver and I am a firefighter).

Does anyone else have trouble discussing these issues without being accused of not being positive? I find I cannot talk about possibilities without upsetting everyone and they keep telling me that I have to keep positive. I don't plan on dying anytime soon but I also want to have things in place for when ever that time comes.