To be flat or uniboob, please help

Hello Pat

I'm so sorry you are going through all this, you've had so much to deal with already.

I had a single mx 2 years ago - I had pretty large breasts, I'm in Australia so not sure if our sizes are the same as yours but I was a 38DD and when my breast was removed it weighed 1.1kg, which is almost 2 1/2 pounds.  

I hated looking at myself with just one breast for a long time, but now it doesn't worry me.

I also had ILC and asked my bs to take both breasts. He talked me out of it, and I really, really wish I'd insisted.  I don't want the worry I have now that it will come back in the other breast.  I've already had a scare (just a couple of weeks ago) where I found new lumps in my "good" breast.

I wear a prosthesis - although only when I'm out or have visitors - and it's pretty good.  I don't wear anything at home, not even a bra and don't feel lopsided or off balance, although I think it took a couple of months for my body to get used to it.  I don't really remember as I was going through chemo at the time and too busy with se's from that lol.

You will have to make your own decision (I know doesn't everyone tell you that! ) but for my part I'm used to being one sided, the foob doesn't bother me, but I do wish I'd had them both off.

Good luck with your decision and let us know how you go.

Sending you gentle (((((hugs))))) 

Trish

xoxo 

I hope that I am not going to step on any toes here and please remember that this is my experience only. I was Diagnosed almost 9 weeks ago with Breast Cancer, my Surgeon gave me all the options. I was a 42 F and if I chose to do anything other than a double Mastectomy I would have had to do breast reduction on both as well as dealing with the cancer.  Come to find out it was the best decision that I could have made. My tumor size was 7 cm and it did not go into lymph nodes, I was stage 2 but what came  out on the path report was that I had paggets disease in both nipples, I would have been facing Breast Cancer again in a few years.  I lost 14 pounds in breast tissue. For me it was a very personal decision and I am so thankful that my surgeon gave me the medical stuff about all my options, allowed ,and supported the decision  that I made. i will be 7 weeks post op on Friday. I am totally flat, still healing, will be doing intensive thearpy for lymphedema starting on Monday for 2 weeks. I have had to buy new shirts and I am still getting use to how I look and feel.

This is your journey, your body, your  decision. It is not easy and the last 9 weeks have been the hardest in my life but I am so thankful that I had the support, the information, and a surgeron who listen. Ask questions, go with your heart, pray. You will know what is right for you.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Let us know how you are doing

 Frapp, I have heard of Surgeons  trying to talk pts out of doing a bilateral, in face about 2 weeks after my surgery, a fried called me about another friend and she wanted to do a bilateral and her surgeon didn't want to do it, she ended up changing surgeons and went to mine. Doing the bilateral was not a easy decision for me but due to having to have reduction as well as taking care of the cancer it was the best choice for me. i was also scared to death that the cancer would come back in the other breast and I wanted to do everything that I could to decrease my chances of that happening. I chose not to do reconstruction the day of surgery so it will be a year and I will re look at that.

I am so thankful that my Doc gave me all the options, the medical data behind it and left it up to me. Even after I made my decision when I met with her, I had 40 questions for her, stuff about the drains, dressings, length of surgery, etc. I hate that you are going through this, trust me I know, I am still in it and it is so fresh.

Please do not let you Doc talk you into anything that you are not comfortable with, this is your body, you will have to live with the decision for the rest of your life. Your surgeon should be supportive, providing you with the medical data of all the options.

I am so thankful for the women that has gone before me in this, they helped make changes in treatments etc, years ago women did not have all the options that we have now, medical advances have been huge and they understand breast cancer so much more now. I personally think that women surgeons getting into the field have helped as well.

Keep us posted on how you are doing, and if you need to talk feel free to contact me. Just remember that I am new to all of this and I am only 7 weeks post op. You will be in my thoughts and prayers

Hi Frapp,

I don't know if this will help you or not, but here goes.  I too am well endowed at 34DD.  I had a uni-lateral in 2009 and went 3 years without recon.  It had a very profound effect on my psyche.  I hated it and as time passed that sentiment grew stronger.  I had a difficult time finding a prosthetic that was symmetrical with my natural side, plus the prosthetic was very uncomfortable; hot in the summer and cold in the winter.  I never felt, as they say, "comfortable in my own skin".  When you're surgeon states that a prosthetic will take care of the lop-sided issue, she is not speaking from personal experience and her statement only address your outward appearance, not the day to day issues of living that way.  You might mention this to her because too often the psychological effects of this are brushed aside.

Although I'm in my 50's, I'm in good shape, very active and felt I didn't want to go the rest of my life lop-sided.  I considered, briefly, a prophylactic mx on the natural side, but couldn't go thru with it.  I've ended up going for DIEP reconstruction on the cancer side and a reduction on the other.  I'm halfway through the process and glad I went this route.

I'm not saying what's right for me is right for you, we're all different, our life circumstances are different, only you can decide what's best for you.  Good luck.

I was a 38 DD (heading to a a bigger cup). I was at first going to have single mastectomy and reconstruction. When I realized the only PS in my insurance network was a bitch, I was thrown into almost a state of dizziness in my mind about my plan.

I really didn't want to have one very large breast and none on the other side.  I was in limbo until a pre-surgical MRI found a spot on the other breast. I had said that if they even SUSPECTED anything on the other, I would have it removed. So, staying true, to myself, I had the other removed (tumor was PASH, benign whose only treatment is surgery anyway).

I am glad that I am flat on both sides. I know I would not have liked to have one breast. Mine was very saggy. I am not saying this is for you, or that I don't think anyone else should think like me. We all have our different paths, different treatment choices.

However, I am not liking it when I hear surgeons that do not present  removing the other breast as a treatment choice or trying to discourage it. I don't like surgeons talking someone out of it. I like my surgeon. She presented the information, then let me decide. AFTER, my surgery in a follow-up appointment, she told me that she agreed with my treatment choice as her favorite for me.

DO NOT let your doctors talk you out of it. Take in all the info you can THEN make your decision.

Maybe you should go to a mastectomy store in your area and look at the different prosthetic breasts in your size. Look at the different types, maybe hold it up to your body to see what it would look like. I really think that would be a good idea for you.

Tough decision. I was a 36D and elected a UMX. I just wanted to keep as much of my natural "me" as I could. Plus I figured recovery from surgery would be that much easier. I do have mixed feelings about my remaining breast. Sometimes I wonder if I would have been better off just having both removed. But I don't regret just having one removed, either.

There's no good answer to this problem. Either option sucks, really. You just have to figure out whether UMX or BMX is right for you. It's such a personal choice.

A friend of mine had similar thoughts to yours, Kim. She wanted to retain the sensation in her nipple on the good side so decided against having a BMX.

This is such a personal issue, only you can decide.  I was a 34 D 40 year old marathon runner when they told me I had IDC on the right side and it was too big for lumpectomy.  I knew immediately that they both had to go for a variety of reasons.  Medically I know that the conditions that led to me developing BC on the right side (genetics? environment? hormones? pollutants?) have all been exactly the same on the left side and the fact that it wasn't showing any tumors didn't mean that it wasn't just as cancer-prone as the right. I went through chemo before my surgery and that's enough to make sure you'll do anything in the world to help prevent future cancers.  My surgeon did not want to take the healthy lefty, but I was adamant and I'm so glad.

 Practically speaking, having both off is no more difficult than having one.  You're still off work for 2 weeks, you still have stupid drains, you still have lifting restrictions for a while.  They don't take nodes on the non-cancer side so the lymphedema risk is extremely low.  The recovery is the same whether it's one or two gone.  Do you need radiation?  Because I can't imagine how awful it would have been to have the horrific armpit burns that radiation gave me and still have needed to be wearing a bra to support one floppy leftover D cup (or to go to work braless with one floppy leftover D cup...nobody wants to see that).  Now that I'm all healed up I can run and ride horses with no bra and it's great.  I have foobs (cute little B's!) that I wear under regular clothes and they're fine.  I'm gearing up for reconstruction with Dr. Khouri in Miami who is going to build me two cute new boobs out of my butt fat.  All in all I have never regretted the loss of my healthy left boob for one single second and it was absolutely the right decision for me.  Good luck!

hi frapp :-)  i'm a 42DD and had a UMX with no recon and i wear no foob.  it's weird that my stomach looks like it sticks out on the one side.  i'm a larger person so people really don't notice (or say anything) when i go around 'one-sided' lol.  i made the decision a long time ago that going around with one breast doesn't bother me and if it bothers others than that's their problem.  i guess that sounds a little harsh but i've been so harsh on my self-judgement on my own body and after bc i learned to mostly accept the way that my body is.  it is what it is.  i didn't even wear scarves or a wig when i was bald.  it's a very personal decision but i think it helps to try and learn to not care too much what others think.  :-)

~M

Frapp what a lovely surprise for you!  Yes the little puffballs are weird when you are first confronted with them, especially when you still have your breasts.  When's your surgery again?  You've probably said, but my memory isn't what it used to be lol

Trish

It is going to be ok, just take in one day at a time, one hour at a time. The waiting for me was the worse. You will get though this and we are here to help you. Call if you need to. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

I am thinking of a DIEP for the missing breast and a reduction for the other so that they both become, maybe a size A cup and I can go braless.