Sept 2012 chemo

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  • Cherioo
    Cherioo Member Posts: 305
    edited October 2012

    Happy Friday My Girls,



    I had a good treatment yesterday because they gave me a new nausea medicine that my insurance approved I forgot the name of it but my MO said it was 6000 and they approved it . I am glad that they did because it helped so much . Well I have one more AC then on to 4 Taxol then rads for 3 weeks so looking forward to this being over but I am blessed that I have such a supportive family and friends through this . I hope you all have a great weekend .

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  • patriciahurtado
    patriciahurtado Member Posts: 489
    edited October 2012

    Sisters....have a great friday...one glass of wine  and cheese before chimoland ....on the 10th...just relaxing and putting 30 pieces of the puzzle  together!!!

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  • jojo2373
    jojo2373 Member Posts: 662
    edited October 2012

    Patricia, enjoy your wine! I am having a beer myself.



    Cherioo - glad u got the new med! You and I are on the exact same chemo (4 AC, 4 Taxol) and almost same DX day, but I will have surgery before rads. When is your first Taxol?

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  • Cherioo
    Cherioo Member Posts: 305
    edited October 2012

    Jojo my first Taxol is Nov 1st . My dr said the effects are nothing compared to the AC . Rads will follow then reconstruction surgery . Enjoy that Beer



    Patricia enjoy that wine . I am looking forward to my next glass in a week

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  • Amy4978
    Amy4978 Member Posts: 473
    edited October 2012

    Patricia You crack me up! I swear I just finished a 500 peice puzzle the other day and it was the first one I had done in a very long time... Thinking a 1000 piece might be in order lol

    Great minds think alike...

    So far cancer has brought my family closer, brought me many donations(cash wise) I have gotten cooked meals brought to my home, a golf benefit thrown for me, two prayer shawls, a cancer survivor piggy bank, and a very nice plaque for the wall.... Oh and a amazing belleville juicer and a wig! Also another benefit will be thrown for me on November 11 this one involves the whole community I live in so Yes Cancer Does have Perks. 

    Almost forgot to tell all of you but my cancer center has a salon that does free manni pedis during chemo time so next treatment I will be getting a pedicure done while being infused with the red devil hahahahahah THE PERKS!

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  • Mariposa123
    Mariposa123 Member Posts: 267
    edited October 2012

    Hi Ladies,

      I have been reading everone's posts, but have been so busy with family that I haven't been able to write today.  It is funny how important this group is.  I feel like you all are the only ones who really know what I am going through right now.  

       The sadness hit an all time low today.  My landlord came by to tell me he wants to raise the rent $400 a month starting next month.  (which I don't think is really legal- but not sure what I can do about it).  I am currently on disability (and I am the primary breadwinner in my family)- so the financial part of having cancer is hitting us hard right now.  I have thought about trying to go back to work, but I just want to conserve my energy for my own children.  Plus as a mental health therapist,  I think it would be hard on my clients to see me going through this.  I am hoping to go back to work in February or March.  My family has been extremely supportive- as have my friends- but I am used to taking care of things myself.  I hate this.

      After my landlord dropped by,  I had to go and pick up my daughter.  I was sitting on a bench outside the classroom when another mother came and sat down next to me.  She said hi, introduced herself, and said how are you doing.. and I completely lost it.  I started crying.  She asked what was wrong, and I just let everything spill.  Ugggh.  Now I feel like a complete idiot.  She was super nice and offered to pick my daugther up for school or take her anytime I would like her to.  I feel like an uncontained mess.

      It is funny, I am a therapist and yet just like you whenlife I am hesitant to go to a therapist.  I just don't want to sit around and talk about cancer for fifty minutes once a week.  I know, it will probably help, but it is hard.  I also think that the hairloss is not helping matters.  Tonight, it is falling out in huge clumps.  I am going to have to buzz it tomorrow.  I am throwing a late birthday party for both of my children, and will have to wear a wig or a hat so my hair won't fall all over the cupcakes.  Utterly depressing.  I want my old life back.

    Okay... I am done pitying myself.  I need to take a deep breath and remember what I am grateful for.  Thanks for listening.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2012
    Cindi74,
    I know they care, but it doesn't change that the fact that the constant eyes on me is disheartening. And I know that some people just don't know what to say or how to act. But I'm the type of person that if you have a question, just ask it. I'm an honest and open person and would prefer if someone just asked me if I had cancer. I know that people don't just do that, but part of me wishes they did. I don't like when people make assumptions about me based on nothing. And I know some people would say "oh just wear a wig". You know what, the wigs made me look 10 years older than I am and I didn't even feel like myself. I am not going to wear a wig just to avoid looks, but it doesn't change that I don't like them. So I understand what you mean by "giving them a break" but at the same time it gets aggravating.

    And when I was venting I was talking about random people, not friends/colleagues etc. People that know me no longer stare and talk to me normally. I don't think it is too much to wish for the same thing from others, even if it will never happen.


    Rsdavid,
    Exactly, I feel vulnerable whenever I step outside of my home. And it is not because of anyone who knows me, it is for those that don't. Now I look like a cancer patient and I hate it. That was my main point I was trying to make.


    Whenlifegiveyoulemons,
    I agree, it is about having that control. And to be vulnerable all of the time IS exhausting. When I talk to people about what is going on (people at work), their faces almost are like waiting for me to breakdown or get upset. And staying 100% on all of the time is tiring. Thank you for making the point that sometimes we do get angry and I personally think there is nothing wrong with that. I don't take it out on other people, but it does make me angry sometimes.

    Cindi74,
    That might be the difference between us. You just made a pivotal point, you "don't have to worry about work". And that is the hardest part of all of this. I CAN manage through my grad school classes/teaching assistant duties/whatever else. But I am extremely fearful that if I make one mistake or miss one assignment that it will automatically be attributed to the fact that I have cancer. Well, that is just upsetting. I am a person who revels in being busy all of the time and getting projects/work done constantly...so is the life of a graduate student. I am (well was) known for getting things done in an efficient manner. But you know what, if I was late on submitting something to my professor in the past he would understand but wouldn't attribute it to my life...he would say "oh yeah you are graduate student and have a lot going on". But now it is "well you have a lot going on with treatment and stuff". And I do. But I don't want to be viewed as though I cannot handle tasks or anything just because I have cancer. I am still ME! I just miss being viewed like everyone else and not through a cancer kaleidoscope.


    Toastiecat,
    Exactly! I mean, I am going through a lot so do I object to special treatment! Hell no! But do I want to be treated the same as everyone else. Hell yes! It is a terrible catch 22.
    I think I did a 2 but I can't remember.

    Whenlifegivesyoulemons,
    That is an amazing upside. I thought I was awesome for getting faculty parking at my university haha! You win! Lol

    Damiana,
    I am so sorry!! That is terrible!! I may be in the same boat as you possibly. I am not sure yet if I will have to do radiation (have to meet with a radiation oncologist) but if I do then I'm sure it will be much later until I can get my TEs out. I just want the beautiful, bouncy, soft silicone ones haha. But you know what, August will come sooner than you think and afterwards you will realize how far you have come in all of this =).

    OMG I hate the sweatiness. Here in CT/RI it has been muggy this week so when I taught I usually ended up taking off my head scarves. EXACTLY, the constant reminder from people is what is aggravating sometimes too. I realize that I can't win with regards to that!

    Butterfly,
    EXACTLY! And remember that your hair will come back. Go to www.headcovers.com, I found some super cute stuff...they have some really cool scarves/sleeping caps and whatnot. I have definitely learned some cool ways to wrap scarves from all of this too! lol

    Jojo,
    That is funny. Only because my sister and I (we are 4 years apart) were never close and argued constantly. One of the silver linings of my diagnosis is surely that we have gotten closer. I think my getting cancer made us realize that the petty bullcrap doesn't matter. That aspect of things has been nice.

    I hope you all enjoy your weekend!!

    Justine <3

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  • Cindi74
    Cindi74 Member Posts: 363
    edited October 2012

    Mariposa,  You need to have a talk with your landlord.  Do a little research first.  What does Zillo say your house or apartment should rent for?  Rents are going up in places where real estate prices fell so very far--but $400 a month increase sounds like a reach.  If you have been paying late or she thinks because of your health issues that you might fall behind and she might have to evict you, she may be encouraging you to move.

    I have been renting realestate since 1961,  Wow, a long time.  I never want a tenant who pays on time and keeps the place up to move.  Sometimes it will be years before I raise rents--and then only a little.  Because it costs money when someone moves out.  You usually have to paint a little and clean carpets, and do minor or even major repairs.  She might get $400 more then, but she might have to invest $1000 to get it.

    So ask for an appointment and have a discussion with her.  If you are getting disability or other income, let her know how you are planning to have the money for the rent over the next six months.  See if she will reduce the increase to $200 or even $100 if you will sign a two year lease.

    Do you have a lease?  Unless I were really struggling to make the payments on the property, I would never raise the rent on you at this time.

    It's worth a try.

    Actually, your breakdown with the bench companion was a good thing. Theraputic- you got it out, and she has no emotional capital invested in you.  She did a good deed by listening, and you got it out.  Win, win.  I told all to a seatmate on a bus one time.  We never saw each other again.  Again, a win, win. 

    Better to tell a comforting stranger than those close to you who will care terribly.  As many have said, "This sucks."  "It isn't fun, but it's doable,

    And we are doing it.  Huggs

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  • Cindi74
    Cindi74 Member Posts: 363
    edited October 2012

    Justegan, I admire you so much.  I can't imagine how you are managing classes and assignments and treatments and all.  I was married and pregnant when I did my masters at Syracuse in '61-62.  We had little money, had been married 18 months, and my husband was having to get out of the airforce because of a reduction after the Korean War.  It was a stressful time.  I wasn't teaching, but I was a graduate assistant typing for a lovable old classics professor who treated me very well.

    A year and a half later I was a doctoral student at the University of Tenn. with a husband back in school also, a new baby, and we had bought two old decrepit Victorian houses in a slum area near the University.  They were broken up into apartments, so we lived in one and rented 5 others.  I had a teaching assistantship (they paid me half what they paid the guys), and then I got pregant again.  Lasted a year.  Never did the dissertation.  Still taught 40 years, one in jr. high., four in high school, and 35 in community college.  It's probably tougher to get jobs teaching in college now because far more people have graduate degrees, and the colleges and universities keep so many on in serfdom as adjuncts.  I think it is harder.

    On the other hand, There were no women in most of my classes in graduate school.  One professor was very concerned about me riding my bike (no one did then) and being 7 months--very large pregnant.  My mother-in-law let me know that in her day, women did not go out in public when pregnant.  I had a rude, abusive  doctor, and we had little money.  No student loans and parents that thought we both were crazy.

    It made us stronger.

    You are very right.  Going through this now for me is not at all as stressful as for you.  No job, supportive husband, friends, church, and medicare.  But I do understand how you feel.  Hang in there.  Hugs.  This too shall pass. 

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  • shockd
    shockd Member Posts: 68
    edited October 2012

    Justegan, I too admire you.  Functioning with such a handful!

    Mariposa, try this webpage:  http://www.dca.ca.gov/publications/legal_guides/lt-2.shtml

    which basically says that the landlord needs to give you 60 days notice when raising the rent more than 10% of the rent charged over the course of the previous 12 months, for month to month rent, and also it says something about the fact that if you had a lease, your rent cannot be increased during the term of the lease unless the lease allows for rent increases.  I hope you don't mind me looking it up, I work in California normally, but can't make it there right now :).  Research is something I enjoy.

    Cindy74 - your stories are wonderful, you've definitely been through some stuff in your life!

    My wonderful husband is home for a couple of days so enjoying his company - then he's back to work, but that's later, so I'll smile for now! 

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  • whenlifegivesyoulemons
    whenlifegivesyoulemons Member Posts: 184
    edited October 2012

    Hope you all can find a way to get behind this sentiment despite the many different challenges we face.  Let the weekend commence!

    In case anyone needs a reminder 

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  • jojo2373
    jojo2373 Member Posts: 662
    edited October 2012

    Wow what a amazing group of women we have here. I love reading about everyone's background. As Justine used the term "Cancer Kaleidoscope", that too describes us.



    I have had long term career in the "Financial World" dealing with tons of stress and demands. At one time I was a divorced mother of a baby and a 3 yr old without a job as my ex made enough for both until he ran off with his secretary. The summer before my DX my current husband had a affair cause he didn't know who i was (pre-menopause) and needed attention I wasn't giving. We were attempting to rebuild our marriage when cancer hit. So if you don't see me reference DH its still on shaky ground. He is very helpful with taking me places and other things for sure. But a comment he made recently continues my doubts bout long term. We were watching tv and I had nothing on my head. He looks at me and says - I still love you even though you don't have hair.

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  • EnglishRose75
    EnglishRose75 Member Posts: 147
    edited October 2012

    Carnage in my back garden this afternoon. This relationship did not have a happy ending.

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  • kidsandlabs
    kidsandlabs Member Posts: 138
    edited October 2012

    Home Sweet Home! So glad to be home, business trips are exhausting let alone on chemo, this will be my last trip until chemo is done - only round one of chemo but it was bad enough. Web-ex and conference calls it will be. Haven't had a nose bleed for an entire day, I have been putting an ointment on a Q-tip and putting it in my nose, seems to be helping. Scalp is so itchy, debating if I should just shave it off.

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  • butterfly14
    butterfly14 Member Posts: 253
    edited October 2012

    Justine -you are an amazing young women to keep up with the demands of a graduate student and battle this at the same time. My oldest is a senior in college and I know how hard you are working to keep up. 

    I hope everyone has a relaxing, stress free weekend! 

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  • Neta69
    Neta69 Member Posts: 203
    edited October 2012

    Justine, I am amazed by how you and some of the other ladies here manage to carry on with your work and responsibilities. I was a stay at home mom when diagnosed so don't have to worry about work outside the home but up until a few years ago I used to work in software. Met my DH doing my Masters in Sweden (he's Canadian) and went from there to live in England for 10 years. Both my kids were born there. We built a little software company and eventually moved to Canada to open a second office. We sold the business and I decided to quit work and stay home with the kids a few years ago. I was so happy. My DH is amazing taking care of everything but I know my anxiety and sadness wears him down. I feel so dependent and weak and it worries me how the balance has shifted in our relationship.



    It's the day after TC chemo #3 and I'm feeling awful! Haven't been nauseaus after the 2 previous treatments but I am this time and emotionally I'm all over the place. Just sitting around doing nothing as I can't seem to concentrate on anything.



    Thanks for listening.

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  • Cindi74
    Cindi74 Member Posts: 363
    edited October 2012

    Hi Neta,  How interesting to live in Sweden, England, Canada--three countries I love.  And to have done your own start up successfully.  Had my second A/C on Wed. and decided to just go with it.  I'm not going to fight the fatigue--just relax and bear.  Have lots of paperwork  hanging over, but the bills are paid.  We may have to get a tax extention in April.  Will worry about it then.

    Our husbands are marvelous.  I really appreciate the care--he ran to the grocery for bagels this morning when we were out.  The masage when my bones and joints ached.

    Hang in there.  This too shall pass.  Hugs

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  • Cherioo
    Cherioo Member Posts: 305
    edited October 2012

    I have been reading everyone's stories and I am inspired by you all. Currently I am not working , the day that I found out I was diagnosed my company called and said they were downsizing . I was a Regional Sales Director for a large travel nurse company and I traveled throughout the southeast region. I too was the major bread winner in the family. Two blows in one day,but I will tell you god must have had a plan because I could not work right now and take care of the kids going through chemo . Like everyone the financial part of this has been allot thank god I have cobra but we have had to make so many scarifies and I am blessed that my family and friends are here for me . I know that this will pass and I will be so much more stronger for it.

    Today I am going to have my DH use the shaver to get the stubble off my head. Living in Florida the heat and wearing a wig is just not working for me yet. I wear my husbands golf hats when I am out or just go free . I feel so blessed to be a part of the Sept club you all lift me up

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  • bettysgirl
    bettysgirl Member Posts: 938
    edited October 2012

    Hello lovely ladies. I am popping in here because i belonged to a group that did chemo together in the fall of 2008. We became great friends and bonded so much. We shared, laughed and cried together and pulled each other up by the bootstraps when needed. I am so glad that you have a Sept. group to share your journey with. I wish you all love, hugs and want to tell you that you CAN do this!! You will endure, and you will survive and gain some wonderful sisters in the process! Love to all!!

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  • aic
    aic Member Posts: 417
    edited October 2012

    Kidsandlabs, my head is itchy too...having the same debate...glad you are taking a break from traveling.....Mariposa, hugs to you...I have a 7 year old and want my life back on a daily basis. So thankful for all of the ladies on here.

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  • aliasismo
    aliasismo Member Posts: 16
    edited October 2012

    bettysgirl, thanks for dropping in! You are like a wonderful visitor from the future! It reminds me of Cindi74's call for a reunion in 5 years.



    Mariposa, you mentioned remembering what you're grateful for. One thing I'm grateful for is your blog! It speaks to me, and I love your artwork; you are very talented.



    I walked/ran in the Charlotte Komen Race for the Cure this morning. It was both exhilarating and depressing. I was personally pleased I finished the 5K in under 40 minutes - not bad for a chemo babe! I participated in the Survivor's Parade - I was in the front of the pack with the other survivors under 1 year. It made me so sad that we were all being celebrated - why should anybody have to celebrate having cancer? Why isn't there a damn cure? It seemed so odd to me that everyone was so happy, and I was fighting tears. Oh well, I'm pinkified now, and I'll probably be there again next year, and my perspective will hopefully be different.



    Happy Thanksgiving to all the Canadians! (I live in South Carolina but I'm half Canadian - I have family in Sarnia, Ontario.). Hoping for smooth sailing for all having chemo this week, including me!

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  • whenlifegivesyoulemons
    whenlifegivesyoulemons Member Posts: 184
    edited October 2012
    Sh*t Girls Say to Girls with Breast Cancer
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2012
    Cindi,
    Thanks and that is why I come on here to vent. Because I feel as though you all understand me. Thank you for sharing your own story. You have been through so much!

    Shockd2b,
    It is all I can do. Taking a semester off just wasn't gonna happen.

    Whenlife,
    I love that, that is a fantastic photo! And I LOVE that video...hysterical because it is so true!


    Butterfly,
    Thank you for your kind words, it's a day at a time that's for sure.

    Neta,
    I think for most of us, having some semblance of our lives (and for many of us that means work) is important. Not only that, but of course there are financial reasons for it too but yeah.

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  • Terri07-11
    Terri07-11 Member Posts: 32
    edited October 2012

    butterfly14;  my oncon doctor said to me when we were talking about when my hair would fall out, "If someone could find a way for people to keep their hair during chemo, they would deserve a Nobel Peace Prize.  Even the men find it very traumatic." 

    Don't feel bad about how you feel about losing your hair; it makes everything so real and unfortunately makes us stand out when we are out in public.  I lock myself in the bathroom when I take a shower and just let myself cry.  I can be by myself and just let go.   And then I do my best to get a grip and go make lunch or do the wash. 

    I still find myself avoiding community events and the local grocery store but next week my son has his first concert of the year and I am still not sure if I will go.   I can't believe that I would ever consider missing one of my son's school's events because I will be wearing a wig, but I am just unsure if I can stand around and smile and talk to people while I am really thinking, "Do they know?"   It is just such an invasion of our private lives.  Whether you want to share or not, you're going to! 

    We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each  experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that  which we think we cannot.
    Eleanor  Roosevelt

    Now, I just got to convince myself to go and hold my head up.

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  • twinsplus1
    twinsplus1 Member Posts: 43
    edited October 2012

    So yesterday was my B-Day (Bald Day) and today is the 2 month anniversary of my surgery.

    I knew yesterday was the day to shave my head when I saved a small dog from the shower and then remembered we don't have a dog...it was my hair!

    I'm happy with my new 'do (or lack thereof). I took the first swipe with the clippers, then Twin #2. Twin #1 didn't want to use the clippers so I handed her the scissors and let her go to town (they're #16). The hubster finished the job for me. Plus1 didn't want to be there when it was cut. However, I was wearing a headscarf when he came home from his buddy's house, and the first thing out of his mouth is, "can i see it?" Followed by, "can I touch it?" (He's 11)

    I have a new wig that I like much better than the first one I bought. Once I gave into the fact that I wasn't going to find "my" hair in a wig, I decided to have a little fun with it. The new one is close to the same color but a longer style. I figure, the people that know I had cancer will KNOW it's a wig no matter what it looks like and the people that don't know won't know it's a wig (or I won't care if they do).

    Second treatment is this Thursday. Only two more after that!

    Hugs to everyone!!!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2012
    Terri,
    I like that you shared that Eleanor Roosevelt quote, since I have it tattooed on my feet! =)=)
    Good luck to you, you are strong and I think you should go for your son. That will only show your immense strength and that is an example to set for sure.
    Hold your head up, you got this! =)



    On another note, I went to my oncologist on Friday and got the good news that after my first treatment a little over a week ago, my WBC count was good (I forgot the numbers) but my onco was so happy! =) I can only hope this continues throughout the rest of chemo!!!
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  • butterfly14
    butterfly14 Member Posts: 253
    edited October 2012

    Terri07 - Thank you....It's good to know that I am not alone in how I feel. I have turned into a semi house hermit....You really should go to your sons concert. my oldest is 21, away at college, I miss him everyday, even though he send me a message or we talk a lot throughout the week.

     I need to use Eleanor Roosevelt's quote as my new motto.

    Justine - Fantastic that your WBC is good. 

    I hope everyone has a happy Sunday! Next chemo on Tues, look good, feel better on Monday night.

    Carla 

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  • EnglishRose75
    EnglishRose75 Member Posts: 147
    edited October 2012

    Whenlife: Thanks for posting that YouTube clip.  So spot on. I've certainly had some of those looks/things said to me.

    Twins: Glad to hear that you're embracing your wigginess! I've got so used to wearing mine now and it doesn't bother me at all.  I also love that it saves me so much time in the morning (not to mention lots of money on over-priced styling products.)

    Terri: You must do what feels right for you.  I felt really self-conscious the first day that I went in to work with my wig on, but after I'd taken the initial plunge, I didn't really think any more about it. I think the difficulty is in how we feel about ourselves, and our presumptions about how others perceive us. The people who know will probably be thinking "Wow, isn't she brave, I really admire her" or "doesn't she look fabulous" and the people who don't know probably won't give you a second glance.  I would encourage you to go to your son's concert, hold your head high and take your confidence from the fact that you are a brave woman kicking the crap out of a horrible disease. In your face, cancer!

    Kidsandlabs: Fair play to you for keeping up the work travel. I used to travel alot for work and it's gruelling even in the best of health. Hard core!

    Jojo: Having such alot going on in other aspects of your life and dealing with the cancer must be hard. Do you find though that your diagnosis has helped you to see things more clearly, in terms of what's important and what's not, how you feel about things, people, everything really? I've just found that this whole thing has helped me to hone my thinking, on many different levels, and especially in my personal relationships. I've no time now to maintain relationships with people who don't really mean anything to me, and similarly I'm much more aware of the need nurture the relationships that are important.

    I am getting ready for the pre-Taxotere super, bouncing off the walls steroids on Tuesday and wondering what useful jobs I can do to use up all that energy. Thinking about re-roofing the house or something... If any of you lived closer, I might offer to come and do yours too!

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  • shockd
    shockd Member Posts: 68
    edited October 2012

    On the wig topic - the first time I went out with it (TJMaxx) I kept sneaking glances at other people (do they know? are they looking?) haha, but last night wore it out for dinner with DH, and felt great.  It's a bit tight at the hairline, so I can't keep it on for long, but I think it will break in.  99% of the time I've been doing scarves, hats, baseball hats, at home, I don't wear anything, but every once in a while I like to hide (the obvious sign of cancer) and go out and be like everyone else.  One of the women mentioned she puts hers on in the morning and leaves it on til night.  Wow. I'd like to wear mine that long! 

    So Terri07, Carla, (and this is for myself too), good luck to all of us, finding your new 'normal' for now, and for feeling like ourselves enough to do as EnglishRose says "take your confidence from the fact you are a brave woman!".

    Carla - Good luck with LGFB - that made me feel much better, and I'll be doing chemo on Tuesday along with you.  Hope it goes well for both of us!    

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  • jojo2373
    jojo2373 Member Posts: 662
    edited October 2012

    Twins congrats on taking the leap to topless. I think it took me about 2 weeks for the shock of seeing myself with no hair to pass. Just like having a port, it strangely feels normal? I think it is just I am not mentally fighting it anymore. It's what it is for many months and I can't change it.



    Yes English, I have come to see things in a different light since cancer. The real true relationships I have will carry forward, the ones that are not will die with my cancer. I think I will be a much better me when in remission! I would love to visit England! All my ancestors are from there and my parents lived there for many years. My sister was born there (Lincolnshire area). It's on my bucket list!

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