Mom diagnosed with IBC.... Terrified!!

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Nicki13
Nicki13 Member Posts: 16

Hello ladies, my mom was diagnosed with IBC this past monday. She is 72 and literally in the prime of her life. Needless to say my sister, dad, and I were all shocked! She has to have 6 months of chemo, before surgery, then a masectomy (possibly a double just to be safe), then radiation. This IBC is some very scary stuff! Is this survivable? We do not know if it has spread. The dr seems to be co fide t that it hasnt. We think she caught it early. It was literally fine one day and there the next. She thought she had gotten bitten by an ant when the little red sores showed up. I could really use some words of encouragement and tips to help me help my mom make it thru these next 6 months as comfortable as possible. I am 39 with 2 girls of my own and i am terrified. Iam holding it together for my mom but when i am alone i just cant keep it together. She is the sweetest, funniest, happiest, and kindest person i know. Please pray for my mom Sally. And i will pray for all of you. Thank you so much for reading. Xoxox

Comments

  • ma111
    ma111 Member Posts: 1,376
    edited November 2011

    We will not be able to tell you if it is survivable or not. However, I presented with mets in 2009, IBC and I am still here. Fine one day and there the next is typical of IBC.. If there were mets your mother wouldn't be surgical. I was not surgical until chemo killed some distant stuff. They told me that up front.

    I will pray for your family. Don't be by yourself in holding it all together. The family that prays, crys and laughs together stays together. I say this because one of my daughters will not even call me unless she can be artificially happy. I can tell through her fake laughs that she is hurting. Cry with your mother, it will do both of you some good.

  • SeanE
    SeanE Member Posts: 107
    edited November 2011

    You are very fortunate that it was caught early - IBC is often misdiagnosed and delayed treatment results in bad outcomes.  Sounds like your team of doctors is on the ball - that is precisely the course of treatment that should be done for IBC - chemo first, mastectomy, then radiation.

    While IBC statistics are worse than "regular" breast cancer, they are significantly better than they used to be.  It used to be a virtual death sentence about 20 years ago.  However, there are now actually 2 clinics dedicated to IBC in the US - one at MD Anderson, one at Fox Chase.  Since your mother's was caught early, and she is getting the proper treatment, her odds are much better than they might.  No one can tell you what her actual odds are, as everyone is different, but take comfort that she got a quick diagnosis and is getting the proper treatment, so her odds are better than most in her situation.  My wife went through this, with bone mets, and is doing fine 2 years later.

    Sincerely,

    Sean E.

  • ibcmets
    ibcmets Member Posts: 4,286
    edited November 2011

    Nicki,

    Sorry about your Mom's diagnosis. I presented with ibc & bone mets from the start and doing well.  I'm ER/PR+, her2- and now on Zometa for the bones & Femara.  I had 8 months of strong chemo that was tolerable & a year after being stable; I had a BMX with recontruction.  It's been 2.5 years and I'm doing great.

    Saying prayers for your Mom, Sally.

    Terri

  • Nicki13
    Nicki13 Member Posts: 16
    edited November 2011

    Oh Terri bless your heart!!! I am so happy to hear how well you are doing! We dont know my moms stage yet and i apologize for not knowing what yours means. All we know at this point is a portion of her breast is hard and she has a few sores on the skin. It is inflammatory but we do not know if its spread. She starts chemo next week as this week she is finishing all her preliminary tests. Thank you so much for responding. Hearing your journey is giving me hope for my moms! God bless you sweetie! I will add you in my prayers. Xoxoxo

  • Nicki13
    Nicki13 Member Posts: 16
    edited November 2011

    Thank you Sean so much for responding. I do hope it was caught early and it hasnt spread. It is going to be such a long weekend waiting for the results. I appreciate so much your words of encouragement!

    Are the "mets" everyone is talking about the sores im seeing on her breast? Seeig these mets... Does that means her cancer has been here awhile? Thank God for all of you!!

  • Nicki13
    Nicki13 Member Posts: 16
    edited November 2011

    Dear Ma111, thank you so much for your sweet post. I have cried with my mo

    But mow try to be strong for her. She is handling this with her head held high and her hilarious spirit shining thru. In true Sally form she is crackin up the nurses and putting them and her doctors minds at ease. I hate that Such a beautiful amazing woman is going thru this!!! I am angry that all of you beautiful amazig woman have gone thru this!!!

  • Claudia413
    Claudia413 Member Posts: 114
    edited November 2011

    Nicki, hopefully your Mom is a stage IIIB and not a stage IV (cancer has spread to organs). I am a member of several online IBC support groups, and we have many women who are "surviving" just fine after their diagnosis. I know Sean and Terri from the other support groups. As Sean stated, there are now IBC specific cancer centers in the US. Dana Farber in Boston and Duke in North Carolina come to mind, in addition to Fox Chase in Philly and MD Anderson in Houston. 

    I am a volunteer with the Inflammatory Breast Cancer Foundation (www.eraseibc.com) and the current Vice President. You can get many answers at our website, as well as looking at podcasts from our monthly radio show (you can watch, listen and chat online when we are recording the third Wednesday of the month at 9pm ET). Some of our guests have been IBC doctors (oncologists and surgeons), researchers, and other IBC-related people (i.e., videographer who made "The IBC Project" documentary). Believe me, most of us with IBC have plenty to be mad about at times, but we MUST continue to educate the general public and the medical profession every chance we get. Even my own doctors did not know about IBC back in 2007. They know now.  

  • mrsnjband
    mrsnjband Member Posts: 1,409
    edited November 2011

    Nicki,

    Yes it is survivable.  The treatment is tough but with the support of a loving family, I believe you can all get through it.  You can be fine one day & then poof there it is.  My symptoms were similar to your moms, but I knew right away what it was.  2 months later I had confirmation that it was IBC.  That was almost 4 years ago. So hang there. NJ

  • ma111
    ma111 Member Posts: 1,376
    edited November 2011

    Nicki,

    It seems as you are the perfect person to help your mother through this awful disease. Sorry you had to come to our board, but glad you found us. Post as often as you have a question or need your spirits lifted up. That's what we are here for. I also think that the people on this board understand more because they are there in the same place.

  • Nicki13
    Nicki13 Member Posts: 16
    edited November 2011

    Hi again ladies....Claudia and Nj too. Wow you all are amazing!!' thank you thank you thank you for all this love!! I wanted to let you all know that my mom is receiving her treatment at the brand new MD Anderson cancer hospital here in Phoenix!! This place has been a amazing. Since we stepped thru the doors they have taken all of us in their arms and have literally walked us all thru this process. My mom had her Pet CT today but we wont find out the results until monday when she meets her surgeon.



    Her oncologist is Dr. Cianfrocca. Her surgeon is Dr Landry. Do any of you know anything about them or this new hospital? I was so thankful when I started learning about MD Anderson and that it just opened its doors in September. This is Houstons sister hospital i believe. I feel like it was a blessing that we found it and that they took my moms case. Im so terrified that its spread. I mean shes had the sores for at least 5 weeks now. I want to scream for them to just take the dang breast already. I understand why we have to wait and do chemo but everything is feeling so slow!!! I just want to start the treatment already! Dont these people understand that this is my mom, my world, my best friend!!?? Dont get me wrong they are truly amazing but I just wished they really new what an amazing person she is!



    In true Sally form she is making jokes, flirting with the male nurses ( in a cute grandma way ) and generally putting everyone else at ease around her. This ofcourse gives me strength but a tiny part of me aches when i see her smile. Am i going to lose that smile? Will this be my last chirstmas w my mom? Im sorry guys just pretty sad and freaked out tonight. Please stay close ya'll i need u so bad!!! Thank you again for being here! I will ck in everyday with you all and each of you are in my prayers! I hope you all have loved ones that took care or are taking care of you.



    Thank you all again so much for being so amazin and for helping a very scared daughter not feel so alone.

  • ma111
    ma111 Member Posts: 1,376
    edited November 2011

    MD Anderson, great place to be!!!!

    It's normal to be sad and freaked out and for things to seem to go slow. All of your concerns are normal and if you were not saying them I would wonder about your mental state.

    Your Mom's behavior sounds good. I have noticed that if I can joke or laugh then the people around me can and the day is much better for all, including me. There are cry times and always will be as none of us want to deal with this disease. Hopefuly they have let your mother have some ativan, (anti anxiety), or something along that line.

    It is also much easier for all of us to talk here. Keep in tough.

  • Nel138281
    Nel138281 Member Posts: 2,124
    edited November 2011

    Nikki,

    I am 57  and was just diagnosed at the begining of October.  Had my first chemo treatment yesterday and came home feeling just fine and still do.  Scary is not the word and waiting for the PET SCan results, doesn't help. In my case nothing has spread.  Hope the same for your mother.  I had initilly been given the diagnosis at a small suburban hospital, where they dont see IBC often and they raised my anxiety beyond description.  I have transferred all my care into Dana Farber/Faulkner in Boston and the onclogist used the word "curable" the first day we met.  No promises , but gave me hope. My new favorite word!  Lots of folks here have great information and use what ever the hospital has as well.  Get support for yourself and help with your kids so you can support your Mom. Do you have siblings?   You can be the most help to your Mom, if you take care of yourself in the process.  Laugh, cry, be angry, It is a long road, but look at the folks here with positive results living full and quality lives. 

    Keep us posted.

    Nel 

  • mrsnjband
    mrsnjband Member Posts: 1,409
    edited November 2011

    Nicki,

    Sounds like you found a good place for treatment. 5 weeks does feel like a long time.  It took 2 months for me which is relatively fast. Some women can't get in to see a specialist for months.

    They will need to do the chemo first to kill the cancer & then do the surgery.  With inflammatory breast cancer it affects the lymph vessels to the skin which it what causes the rash or red bumps in your mom's case.  If they do the surgery first they won't know if they got all of it, thus chemo first then surgery.  Then rads after surgery to make sure the kill anything left behind. 

    Hoping that is hasn't spread. NJ 

  • Nicki13
    Nicki13 Member Posts: 16
    edited November 2011

    Hello again Nel and Nj,



    Thank you again for the kind words!! I will be praying for both of you along with my mom. I have to say since I've been talking with all of you my spirits have lifted. Thank you for that. Ive asked my sister Dee dee to join and to connect with all of you as well. Deedee is having a tough time obviously and would benefit greatly from all of you amazing people! You have given me such strength in the past few days. I am so greatful for each and everyone of you. This is not all about me though so please do not hesitate to let me know if there is anything I could possibly do for any of you. I am here for you as well! We are all in this together!! God bless! Have a beautiful Sunday.

  • Nicki13
    Nicki13 Member Posts: 16
    edited November 2011

    Hello to all my favorite ladies and men on this forum. We got some good news today!! We went to my mom's apt today with her surgeon. The surgeon and her oncologist came in to let us know that her cancer has not spread to any of her organs. There are a few lymph nodes that are cancerous but her organs are cancer free!!! On another note she has the heart of a 72 year old!! That was icing on the cake. Her oncologist listed it as Stage 3. That was all that she said. I was expecting a IIIB or IIIC etc. But when I asked the stage she said stage 3 but NOT stage 4. She then said we were going to kick this cancers booty!! By this time we were all so happy about it not spreading we were all joking around and laughing and craying happy tears. We had to wait nearly 2 hours to find this out since we had our apt time wrong and we got there very early. Quite strenuous!!

     So next step is mom get's her port in and her first round of Taxol this week. I will let you all know how she does. Thanj you for all the kind and loving words of encouragement this week. I could not have gooten thru these few days without you all. I will let you all know how she is doing. God bless you all!!

    A very happy and optomistic daughter today!-Nicki

  • Faith316
    Faith316 Member Posts: 2,431
    edited November 2011

    Good news!  Keep us posted how she is doing.

  • ibcmets
    ibcmets Member Posts: 4,286
    edited November 2011

    Nicki,

    You're a great daughter to be there for your Mom.  I'm glad her organs are cancer free.  Chemo has changed in the last 10-20 years and your Mom should do just fine.  She may not be so hungry on chemo; but I loved a light chicken soup with crackers.  It should be painless.  My eyes started to tear a lot on chemo and my onc told me to take benadryl at home; which helped.   I took B6 & B12 to alleviate neuropathy; but ask her onc about any vitamins or anything else she wants to take.  My onc had me take Emmend and compazine; which totally prevented any nauseousness.

    I hope your Mom does very well with her treatments.

    Terri

  • Nel138281
    Nel138281 Member Posts: 2,124
    edited November 2011

    Wahoo!   I almost couldn't breathe waiting for the results of the scans.  Had my first round of chemo lastFriday and sailed thru.  Hope the same for your Mom   Keeps us posted.

    Be well

    Nel

  • ma111
    ma111 Member Posts: 1,376
    edited November 2011

    Nicki,

    Keep us posted about side effects. I now have a new onc who treats them and wish I would have changed in the middle of my first treatment. I like being able to walk when the neuropathy gets bad. There is medication for it that they can give her and increase the dose until it works.

    I also preffered Zofran for the stomach as it dosen't make me sleepy.

  • Nicki13
    Nicki13 Member Posts: 16
    edited December 2011

    Hello everyone!! I am so sorry I haven't written in so long. These past 3 weeks have been a bit of a blur. With chemo and Thanksgiving it has been a whirlwind! Ok so here is the update.

     So far my amazing mom Sally has had 3 rounds of Taxol. Monday will be her 4th. The only side affects she has so far is leg aches that do seem to keep her up at night. She has not had any nauseousness which is surprising.

     Here is something interesting tho. She had a Pet CT and is showed that nothing spread. But now when she had her other breast mamogrammed they said a suspicious tiny sectioned showed. Wouldn't the Pet Ct have shown that? Her biopsy was monday so we are waiting to see. Great huh? We are worried but what can you do? At least the chemo has started.

     I am confused on what the er pr her2+ is. All we were told is that she is Stage 3. YOu guys is this survivable at stage 3? I am terrified. I have been doing really good. Staying positive and laughing a lot with my mom. But then all of a sudden last week (I think I was pmsing) because I couldn't stop crying. I mean really bad.

    I am usually the one who keeps everyone positive and laughing. But last week all I could think about was losing her. God it was awful. I can't stand feeling so hopeless and out of control. Thanksgiving was so hard. As I sat there at the big dinner table thinking is this the last Thanksgiving with my mama I will ever have? God I know that is horrible to think but I couldn't help myself. I was really low. I am doing better now this week but this new development with her other breast has got my mind spinning.

    One thing I wanted to mention was the other night she woke up at 3 am and was coughing. She couldn't seem to quench her thirst. Then she came out in the kitchen nervous. She kept saying she was very hot on the inside. I felt her and she was cool to the touch. It was clear she was nervous and I am sure her blood pressure was high. I gave her a drink and sat with her for about 5 or 6 minutes. She calmed down  and said that had never happened before. Then she went back to bed. How weird is that? does that sound like anything any of you have experienced? It sure did scare me.  Her nights seem to be getting really tough. I want her to talk to her onc for possibly sleeping pills??? Also are vitamens aloud?

    I hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving and are enjoying your holiday season. I promise not to wait to long to update. The time really got away form me this past month.

    I did want to let you know that MD Anderson here in Phx is taking amazing care of not only my mom butmy dad and my sister and me. They are amazing there. I hug the nurses everytime we leave. Wink

    Let me apologize for all the typoes in the last letters. I have a 3 year old, Reagan, who loves to tap the computer when mommy is typing and sometimes I miss them when proofreading. hahah!! The joys of parenting. Happy Holidays my beautiful friends. God bless you all!

  • ibcmets
    ibcmets Member Posts: 4,286
    edited December 2011

    Nicki,

    Glad your Mom is getting the help she needs. I believe she may be on steroids while she on chemo. I was and it is very hard to sleep on this stuff.  When my blood pressure went up; they also gave me water.  Sometimes we are just a bit dehydrated.  She seems to be handling the chemo well.    They may scan her every 3 months for awhile to see how the medication is working.   It's good news your Mom is not at stage IV.  This means it has not spread. 

    I've taken vitamin B6 & B12 while on chemo and it helped with neuropathy, energy levels and I had no nail problems on taxotere, cytoxin & adriamyacin.  I had it for 8 months.  You will always have to check with onc regarding any vitamins or other medication she takes.  I later went on ambien to help with sleep.  In the beginning a natural supplement called Melatonin (over the counter) helped me sleep and my onc always knew what I was taking.  I also took benadryl  when I would tear a lot from my eyes to help dry up the fluids and bloody noses caused by the medication.

    Wishing continued success with your Mom's treatments. 

    Terri

  • rcorbit
    rcorbit Member Posts: 7
    edited December 2011

    Nicki,

      I can totally relate to how you are feeling about your mom's diagnosis.  I know it's really scary.  My mom was diagnosed with IBC in Nov. 2010.  She will be 80 years old in Jan.  She is my best friend, and I am an only child.  The thought of losing her terrifies me.  Fortunately, I have a wonderful husband, great co-workers, and close friends who are all so helpful and supportive.  Every once in awhile, negative thoughts creep into my mind, and I really worry about the cancer spreading.

      My mom's cancer was stage IIIB with 9 out of 16 lymph nodes positive for cancer.  Unfortunately, she did not have the proper treatment protocol.  She had surgery first, then chemo, and then radiation.  We know now that she needed to have chemo first.  She finished radiation almost 3 months ago (last chemo was June 6).  She did really well with her treatments.  Probably the worst side effect for her was fatigue.  My mom was doing very well for almost a month and a half.  Then 2 weeks ago, she bent over to pick something up and heard an incredibly loud pop in her lower back.  She started to have pain, and an xray revealed a spinal compression fracture.  She just had blood work  and a bone scan.  We are waiting now for results to determine if the fracture was caused by her osteoporosis or if the IBC has spread to her bones.  I'm so worried that it has spread.  We should know results early next week, and we will be going to see a neurosurgeon.  He will probably do kyphoplasty surgery to stabilize the fracture and relieve pain.  I feel terrible that she'll have to go through this as she has been through so much this past year.  My mom continues to amaze me with her courage and positive attitude.  I really have learned to appreciate and enjoy every moment I have to spend with my mom.  We continue to hope and pray for the best.  Hang in there.  Prayers and best wishes to you, your mom, and your family. 

    Becky

  • julieskids5
    julieskids5 Member Posts: 6
    edited December 2011

    I am new to this forum, and have not been dx yet. I started having this pain in my upper left part of my breast, on and off, no redness or increase in size, but bouts of sharp pain. I put it off for  a month, thinking it was breast implant related, plus, thinking "breast cancer...not me" so I made a call and couldn't belive I got in the next day, which was yesterday. She did a breast exam, no lumps detected, and ordered a mamo with ultrasound, she mentioned ibc, but does not think I have it, because there is no redness or swelling or hot to the touch; today pain is worse plus, I read posts from all of you yesterday and today, before joining.......you women are so strong. My dh is the only one that knows, but not my mother I wish I could tell her, but because she will think it's breast implant related, and didn't want me to get them in the first place (3 years ago, the redo) would be angry and ofcourse my sil is an RN who said "women with breast implants have more breast cancer" I said, that I think because they are more intune with there breasts and get checked more, it is realy a coincidence. So, I am alone, I have 5 kids to raise, and my oldest 2 already lost their father to a car accident  10 years ago (my first husband). I wouldn't care if I got a masectomy, I never had boobs before implants anyway, why I got implants. I am so scared as all of you have been and may still be. I don't know where to get support, and my husband is like, don't worry, because I don't know yet, it's hard not to. I think about breast cancer, and it can strike anyone, and ibc, anyone. An organization I am in just raised money as we do every year for the susan komen foundation, and we do so every year. My doctor office just called and told me to go in the ER, which is part of the largest military hospital, I am scared to go......What were your syptoms getting ibc, were they classic, what you read online??

  • mrsnjband
    mrsnjband Member Posts: 1,409
    edited December 2011

    Julie,

    Is one of your breast larger than the other? Or have they both increased in size? I thought my bras were wearing out & I needed new bras.  I also had itching between the boobs, did this for a couple weeks before the "rash" broke out.  The rash was how I knew I had IBC & took 2 months to comfirm it.

    Your pain could be related to your implants but only a doctor can tell you that for sure.

    I am so sorry you are that you are having pain. Hopefully you will get the all clear on your tests. NJ 

  • julieskids5
    julieskids5 Member Posts: 6
    edited December 2011

    No increase in size, and not itchy, or rash I did go to the ER, but the doctor said he does not even think it is, but maybe muscular. You are so sweet for the reassurance. I think the worry is more than any pain, it's sickening. They didn't run tests, because he did not want radiologists who do not normally look at breast mamos. to do it, and told me to keep my scheduled appt. for Jan. 5th.

  • ibcmets
    ibcmets Member Posts: 4,286
    edited January 2012

    Nicki,

    I normally do not have very high blood pressure, but it was pretty high once when I was in for an onc appt.  Blood pressure came down drinking lots of water.  I could have been a little dehydrated.

    I'm sure your Mom's getting great care at MD Anderson.  They are experienced with ibc.  IBC diangosis always starts at stage III at least because the cancer is in the lymphatics of the skin.  It's very good news that the test results did not show organ or  bone mets, although bone mets are more treatable these days.  She has a good chance of recovery and will be monitored well from now on.

    Best Wishes on her treatment & surgery if needed.

    Terri

  • Nicki13
    Nicki13 Member Posts: 16
    edited October 2012

    Hello ladies. First let me apologize for not updating you sooner. It has been very stressful these past few months and I kind of went into survival mode. My deepest apologies!!



    I wanted to let you all know that my mom is in her final stages of radiation treatment. She went thru months of chemo, then had her double mastectomy in August. She will be done with her radiation on October 19 th. She is doing fabulous. She looks and feels so much better. Chemo was as expected....pretty ugly. It got very scary when her lover got a horrible infection and we almost lost her. But she fought thru and came out of it. She slowly healed and was able to continue treatment. She does have to do radiation twice a day but we are almost done. We cannot wait for the day she gets to ring the " end of treatment" bell at MD Anderson. What a glorious day that will be. :0)



    Thank you all for the kind words, prayers and information at the beginning of all this. I was beyond scared and had nowhere else to turn and you were all there for me. Again I am so sorry for not responding earlier.



    How are you all doing? Terri, NJ, Julie, and everyone else? I hope you are all getting ready to have a beautiful holiday season. I think of you all often. God bless you. I promise not to stay gone so long this time. Xoxox



    Nicki

  • Eliza22
    Eliza22 Member Posts: 43
    edited October 2012

    I was just reading all these posts and wanted to say that I think you're all Angels! Nikki. I'm so so glad to hear that your mom will be leaving MD Anderson soon and that she is doing well!



    Hugs to you all!

  • mrsnjband
    mrsnjband Member Posts: 1,409
    edited October 2012

    Niki,

    So glad to hear your mom is doing well.  I am going great. 

    I did my reconstruction last year & I so happy that I did it.

    Glad I saw your updated post! NJ

  • ibcmets
    ibcmets Member Posts: 4,286
    edited October 2012

    Nicki,

    So glad your Mom is doing so well.  Hope your holidays are very pleasant this year. 

    Terri

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