Sept 2012 chemo

Cindi, there's no guarantee it will be the same way for you. Everyone is different. I was just commenting to jojo so she'd know that she's not the only one whose 3rd was rough. For some, it's the 2nd or the 4th... ymmv (your mileage may vary).

I got some numbing cream just for chemo days. I kept hearing about it here and I am dreading being stuck with any kind of sharp pointy things again so I asked and my MO gave. whatever gets me through...

Hi Everyone, 

This is my recommended Read During Chemo to help you - it is called:

Eating Well Through Cancer by Holly Clegg & Gerald Miletello, MD

To help with wbc/rbc/protein/calories, etc this is a book that I received - courtesy of the Wellness Progam through my health insurance company, when I was first starting treatment.  My husband and I would take this with us to my chemo treatments and read the various recipes. They are grouped by categories.  So let's say you have anemia, then you tab over to the anemia section for recipes that are good for that.

At the very beginning of the book on page 7 - 14 is a cross reference list.  

The colums are as follows:  Day of Chemotherapy/Neutropenia/Diarrhea/Constipation/Sore Mouth or Throat/High Calorie-High Protein/Snacks and Light Meals/Healthy Eating Post Treatment.  Then in alphabetical order is 8 pages of food items, with a checkmark in the columns that it helps.

For instance:  Peach Smoothie:  Checked for columns:  Day of chemo/Neutropenia/Sore Mouth or Throat/Snacks and Light Meals/Healthy Eating Post Treatment

Each page has the full nutritional analysis of each meal: Calories, Carb, Fat, etc and even has the Diabetic Exchanges listed under the nutrition analysis, for those who have Diabetes.

On each page is a little informative Doctor's Note.  On page 107 for tuna pasta salad the note reads:  Good source of portein and fiber as well as Vitamins A and C.  Broccoli provides your cruciferous vegetable which is linked to cancer protection.

It's a great read especially when at chemo.  It also makes a great gift for someone you know who is also going through treatments.  

It also has menus grouped by:  Morning of Chemo / Evening of Chemo / Morning following Chemo / Lunch 24 hours Post Chemo and Dinner 24 hours Post Chemo. 

The book comes with a hard cover and spiral bound. 

I still refer to it and have learned a lot from it.   

Hope you all have a great week -- and try a few minutes of sunshine to help with your vitamin D levels.  

Jojo - having vivid dreams for sure.  People from my past, the Jonas Brothers (I am 44 with no kids....how the heck they got in there is quite beyond me) and I could go on.  Thankfully no nightmares, just weird stuff...

 Inspired and Melrose thank you for the book recommendations, I have been wondering how to mananage some of the SE's or plan accordingly to try and head them off at the pass!

Hugs to you Terri - I have been having the same issue with wearing a hat all the time and I also sleep in a beenie.  I do not connect to the person in the mirror yet....I certainly hope it comes soon because I do not like this feeling. I went with a totally different style for my wig and I do wear it when I go to the office so it is pretty funny when people see me for the first time but they are getting used to it. 

Here is to the first week in October and marking September off the list!  Wishing everyone minimal SEs this week!!

Hi everyone,

  I just came back from JcPenneys... and now my hair is super short.  It started falling out in the shower this morning.  Last night I didn't get to bed until two in the morning because I was obsessively looking up scary things about women on taxotere losing their hair forever.  I was a mess today.  Before my diagnosis, my hair was down to my hips.  Then I cut it to my shoulders.  Now it is super short.  I feel so odd.  I bought a hat and came home:-(  Although I don't necessarily like my hair cut, I know that I will only have it for a short time.. and that makes me sad too!

   I have also had weird dreams!  Last nights was all about hair.  I have also had dreams about people in my past.  Very odd.

Sorry to all of those feeling ill.  I hope you are feeling better soon.  My next session is next week.  I am trying not to waste this week of feeling good by thinking too much about next week... but it is a struggle.  My mom and sister are coming on Wednesday to celebrate my birthday- so I do have some good things to look foward to:-)

Much love to all of you ladies!  I have a feeling that 

Mariposa: I had two crazy dreams Saturday night.  The first was the standard "naked in public" dream. I dreamt I worked in a clothing store but didn't have a shirt. What was significant to me was the fact that in my dream I had my "new" boobs...complete with no nipples! Guess that means I'm embracing the new me, huh?  In the second dream, I was sitting next to a man on a city bus. He was sitting next to the window and eating a bowl of soup. The person across the aisle from me opened the window and my hair started flying off my head and was falling into his soup. I don't even want to know what the heck THAT dream is supposed to mean! LOL

 Hang in there, girl. We're gonna do this together!

Keep laughing!

DonnaD08, I took that steroid and seemed to tolerate it well....hot flashy was the main issue, but it didn't last...maybe a little shaky at first, but nothing compared to what else is going in our bodies haha...yay for you for being half way!

Any of you ladies experiencing breakouts? I know this is a side effect but am wondering if you have done anything for it that worked ? My nose and chest are the main spots...having been blessed with great skin, this new skin is ticking me off Or do I just need to wait it out like most other things? Grrrrrrrrrrrr

Donna,

I'm on Taxol now.  Before they administer it they give me pre-meds: the steroid you mentioned in IV form, along with Benedryl and Pepcid, I think.  The steriods make it really difficult for me to get quality sleep for about 2-3 nights.  I usually need 7-8 hours, and the first night I'm lucky if I get 4 or 5.  I tried melatonin, and found that's not for me.  Next time my doc suggested I take a few Benedryl since they make me so sleepy anyway.

On the flip side, I had massive amounts of energy to devote to reorganizing all my closets this last weekend But today I'm wiped.

@alc, @damiana & @whenlifegives... Thanks for the reply. I think I do get that in my regimen already, but I never had to take it in pill form before treatment. It didn't sound like I needed to take it anymore than the day before treatment. Since it's a steroid I was concerned about bloating and weight gain. As it is I already put on about 4-5 lbs. after ever treatment without changing my diet at all, but it usually goes away by the second week, so I blame it on the steroids. Lord knows I don't want to gain anymore. I'm down 30lbs. Since January and that was really hard to get off. Whoever thought you could gain weight during chemo. Give us a break...lol.

This is the first college team to ever show support for Breast Cancer Awareness.  The college teamed with the local grocery store and hospital and invited all Breast Cancer survivors and persons currently being treated to the game.  Free tickets, free pink T-shirts, free pink beads, a beautiful 2013 calendar featuring women telling their stories;  we were allowed to walk onto the field & give the football players a high five as they ran onto the field to warm up.

To be next to these 200lb. 6 feet tall guys wearing pink shoes and pink gloves was amazing.  They were all so kind and went out of their way to acknowledge the women and children standing on the line.

Even the mascot wore pink & their handlers had pink neckerchiefs on.  At half-time there was a donation of $10,000 to the hospital to help fight breast cancer.

This was the first time I was out in public and wearing my wig.  I was worried that people would be staring.  But it was such a lift for my spirit.  I have my second treatment tomorrow and all day Saturday and Sunday, I kept thinking, "I can do this, I can do this!"  (today, not so brave)

So, I now know, no matter how frightening to be out in public, it is a great empowering experience to share yourself with others.   I hope everyone can get a lift from the pictures.  These young people probably have not been effected by Breast Cancer personally but they were willing to go out and support this cancer.  It was beautiful.  

I've been super MIA...treatments and visiting relatives will do that to a girl. I'm currently day 5 from my 2nd round of AC/neulasta and can honestly say this round is harder. More nausea (threw up 3 times so far) my bones are still hurting me, my daily migraines are, well, still daily lol and I have zero energy. I'm even slower then a sloth lol



The family visits were great though... My sister was here first and she helped with diving me to appointments and getting my daughter back and forth to some of hers. She also found time to make up a bunch of casseroles and bake mustaches cookies with my daughter; a much needed fun time for my daughter. My brother arrived the day before my sister left, so I had both of them with me when I got my most recent round of AC...it was endearing to see my brother chat up those around as if we were at some social event. I don't know about you, but I rather enjoy having times when cancer isn't the only thing talked about. My brother's visit was too short and I miss him terribly already...of course it doesn't help that he's an amazing cook who gave me just the right portions...and when he found that steel cut oats with fruit and a little nuts settled nicely on my tummy, he made sure I had that every morning. Big brothers are awesome like that. My mom arrives on the 9th and I'm counting down the days...this is one of those times when you need people that love you around, even if its just to keep you company when it feels like the rest of the world has forgotten you.



On a funny note...my 'Moose' (white,standard poodle) seems to be having sympathy gas LOL I'm not sure who's are worse though! I'm just thankful for her constant companionship; she only leaves my side to eat, drink and take care of business...talk about loyalty

My hair started coming out by the handful this morning.  My (nearly) 19-year-old daughter is freaked.  My hairdresser of 19 years came to the house this evening (while daughter was out) and "buzz cut" my hair.  There is no denying that an overweight graying 58-year-old woman, that's me, looks a little strange.  Not cute... but my friend and my husband toasted my lovely hairdresser and admired her handiwork.  she worked on my wig and it looks pretty good for what it is.

Hubby and i went on to bed, daughter comes home.  i offer to turn on the light so she can see and she refuses the offer and asks me to wear my wig in the morning so i don't scare her.  My feelings were so hurt... and I am now more than just a bit angry.  I'll get over it and she probably will, too.  She is bipolar - well-regulated and on meds and I have been telling everyone how good she has been to me, considering.  I guess that maybe she is frightened, too, but doesn't want to admit it and be a burden on me.

I just feel very very old and am moarning that I was once so very young and pretty.  Probably even more, I miss the strength that I had -with no fear - and that seems to have vaporated this last week with the hospital business.  I think that my WBC must be going down, again.  The only symptom I had before was weepiness.  and I am weepy, again. 

Damn it.  I really hate this crap.

Thanks for listening.  I don't know anyone else who could even begin to understand.

Sherrie

Sherrie, I used BC (before cancer),to  laugh and say to my husband after dressing in the morning,  "not bad for an old broad."  Maybe a little boastful for a 74 year old, but we would both laugh and he would give me some kind of a joking compliment.  I don't know that I felt pretty, but I felt good and alive and full of pep for the day.

This morning I looked at the mirror and I see a tired old bald woman.  And second A/C tomorrow.

Oh well.  When I get the lookgood makeup on, and the wig, and some bright colored outfit with the funky Steinmart necklace and earrings, I may not be the old me, but it's an OK me.   We must do this.  We can do this.  This time I am mentally prepared for the chemo, the no-immune system, the Neulasta and Neupogen injections, and the fatigue (I guess it will be mostly election stuff and old movies for ten days) Food will be in freezer and frig.

I taught young people the age of your daughter for nearly 40 years.  Face it, for most of them "It's all about me."

Internally, your daughter is scared of losing you, scared that this may happen to her some day.  Resentful of all the attntion going to you.  Mad that life has dealt all of you such a hand.

She'll get over it.  Meanwhile, try writing her notes.  Somehow, what you say is never the way you meant it, and is rarely interpreted as intended.  It may be easier to write some of the things you want to say where young people seem to walk off and sulk.

Write it down in short notes--Let her know your fears and feelings too.  It may help to bring you together on the same team.

We are going to get through this, and there will be better days in the future for all of us.

Hugs

Good morning ladies!  Everyone's words from overnight have made me smile, hope, and cry.  Mariposa - you look beautiful.  I feel as your name states, we are all butterflies going through a transformation.  On the other side, beautiful new sisters who will never look at life the same way.  Donna - I cautiously wait to hear how Taxol goes for you.  As much as I worried about AC, I am even more worried about Taxol now.  Firestorm - great to hear from you and so glad to hear you had such wonderful family visits.  Terri  - those photos are awesome, thanks for sharing.  Cindi - thanks for your words to Sherri, your posts are always so uplifting.  Sherri - I am the experiencing the same.  I have a 18 year old son who had been so supportive.  After I lost my hair, he suddenly became distant and said he was depressed.  I told him the best thing he could do for me is to continue to be himself.  Don't let my sickness interrupt the great things he is working on (college).  

I feel like I am rising from the fog today.  Yesterday was truly the worst day I have had so far.  The honesty and support in this group gives me strength daily - thank you. 

Ladies I am nesting today in preparation for ac 2 this week. Praying for all of you! Here was my verse from today I wanted to share.

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love. (1 Corinthians 16:13, 14 NIV)



Everyone is always saying Be strong. Sometimes I don't get that. How can I be strong when I feel everything is pushing on me so hard?? I don't always feel strong at all. At times we may feel at our weakest physically. I'm sure we have all felt this way at different times. Although our bodies may be weak our spirits can remain strong! I am making the decision to choose life and to be strong today! Love you all. Hair still holding on by a thread. Dreading that stil. I've heard it is tough for our kids to see us looking the part. Again. We must remain strong in spirit. Letting our light shine from within. Have an se free day all!

Becki