August 2010...anyone starting chemo besides me?!

Good evening, warriors!

I hope everyone is doing well!

Sptmm: so funny that you bring up the "man" idea and breast size! Don't forget, I started with a female PS and the micro who joined the team is a man. He most likely did 90% of my flap surgery. At some point my orig female PS went out to the waiting room to give my sister an update and she mentioned to my sister something about "she did not want them too big, right?" and my sister confirmed that. Well, I believe it was too late as testosterone had alreaydy dictated my breast size! At this point there is no reason at all to bring up the fact that these things are large and with the male concern for massive breasts so pervasive, I just can't say anything at all! What's more is I opened my front door and FedEx was just about to ring my doorbell. Well, I was wearing a wife beater (NO, I would never wear such a thing out of the house!) as I was doing some cleaning and when I opened the front door it was to look to see if there was a package on the front porch and not to entertain that joker! He turned beat red and I was so embarrassed I couldn't sign quickly enough!

I will be here for you as hou recover so feel free, woman! The surgery is so worth it, I can't even tell you. You know how much I think of my GP and how wonderful and supportive he has been through this whole process. Well I saw him yesterday and I completely admitted I thought very long and hard about the surgery, the duration and being under anesthesia all that time etc... but for me there was not one other option. I was not going with implants, MF grafting failed so this was my last and only option. I am just really glad I was able to do it and get it done. What I did to calm my mind was kept very busy coming up to that surgery. In this way I had not much time to think about it. In the end it was my best decision and I am wicked lucky the microvascular is as talented as he is. A few things to keep in mind: after day 5, when you leave the hospital, the chance for clotting goes way down and by about the 2 week mark, the risk of a clot goes to zero. One more thing: the further away from surgery you move, the risk for necrosis goes down until it becomes nearly non-existent. It is worth it, Deb. Recovery is rough but it is so worth it.

The drain is in my stomach somewhat indefinitely now. I can't even wear normal pants. I live in sweat pants! So gross!

Ckptry: that is wicked, wicked scary. It is just nerve-wracking constantly. I remember just before my father found out he had lung cancer telling me he had a cough he could not get rid of. All of the sudden tonight I started to get lightheaded and then this serious, kind of deep, cough developed but then went away. All I could think was "brain, bones, liver, lungs" and that was it. This disease makes us paranoid flakes! I am just glad you are ok. Scary, scary, scary.

On the testicle note, my GP was telling me when husbands don't understand the wife's concern for recon he introduces them to the idea of testicle removal!!! I think that is hysterically analogous and sets them straight, of course!!!

Happy trails to all and to all a good night! BTW, do you all realize Christmas is just about 12 weeks away?!!  he he he!!

Night all-

Good evening, warriors!

Sptmm: good point as I wish they had less to work with!!!!!! Very good point!!! Honestly, though, I am sort of ambivalent b/c as much as I said I wanted small, I don't think I would be happy if they were much smaller as I was never small to begin with!!!

Geesh, I don't know, Deb- I just might be really uncomfortable in a world where men were NOT obsessed with breasts!!!! My GP used to joke with me about some show on TLC where the PS is always saying something like "everyone gets DDs!!!" I never saw the show but I found it pretty funny nonetheless and now I realize it is rather accurate!

Felis: good to hear from you! Glad you stopped by. Just think, you are almost finished with chemo! That is milestone you will never forget. I lost my hair as well. I wore baseball caps a lot and because most of the time I was doing it was in the Fall to Winter months in CT, I wore a Peruvian hat constantly! That worked out really well because they are long enough in the back that one might have suspected I had a short hairdo as I did not lose lashes or brows. In any case, it comes raging back as soon as chemo is done

My onc told me to use Biotene all through chemo but b/c I am so hooked on original Listerine, I just kept using that. Biotene is another one that is good for dry mouth and that can also be what is causing the white marks in your mouth. I agree with Omaz, however, in that you should talk to your doc in case it is something that requires a prescription to fix. These weird things will most likely go away once done with chemo.

Well my sciatica is **killing** me tonight so off to bed I go

Happy trails, girls-

Omaz: doc gave me muscle relaxers but tonight I would like to try a knife!!!  I think I have some of those patches in the "medical" closet!  So sad that my cosmetic, hair supply, hair tools closet morphed into my medical closet!  In any case, I am so much pain tonight I don't even think I could go through the closet to find them.  I am hoping I make it to bed! 

Good day, warriors-

I did a little research, just on the local level, recently on all the fundraisers for cancer research/care etc.. Just in looking at 10 events and their average fiscal results, I found that over the course of one year, approximately 5 million was raised. That number is huge. Can you imagine what it translates to nationally? They are making so much money off of fear with this disease there is little incentive to cough up a cure!

Omaz-the muscle relaxers made it worse! What a night I had but doing a bit better today. It has been totally exacerbated by the seromas, the belly drain and my inability to do stretches and to work my abs. I am a train wreck! Thank you for your well wishes just the same!!

Sweeney: when do you find out more about the bone scan and what are they doing next? Please keep us posted.

Felisa: nail problems are very common w/bc chemo esp the taxanes and doxorubicin. There are some things you can do: when washing dishes, use rubber gloves. When you go to chemo, ask for 2 bowls of ice and some rubber gloves and immerse your fingertips in the ice (cryotherapy). Avoid getting manicures and your nails done until chemo is over. Wear clear nail polish and monitor your cuticles. If the cuticles get overgrown, don't pull them off but gently use a cuticle remover tool. A woman I met after chemo told me she had a lot of nail problems. She said she would do the ice during chemo *and* when she went home she would also do frozen bags of veg on her hands for 20 minutes at a time for about 3 or 4 times. The idea behind cryotherapy is when your fingertips are cold the chemo will not reach the nails that easily and therefore can't cause cell damage. I had slight nail problems during chemo but not to the extent you seem to be having. The above advice is really that of us bc girls collectively (and our experience) and they might help but as a whole, there have not been studies indicating any of this helps! We can only try!

We are all scared the cancer will come back. That is a very, very natural part of this process. I would safely assume 100% of us live with that fear to one extent or another. The good news is when chemo and rads are over, and you start to feel stronger again, you don't fear it so much. Right now it is very much front-and-center for you so it is understandable you are having these fears in perhaps a more pronounced way than you might say 6 months down the road. Hang in there, it will only get better once chemo is over

I hope everyone has had a nice day. It is in the 60s here today...Fall is arriving!