Illinois ladies facing bc

Haven't been on in a while-thanks for the email, lago. Shannie- I was having the heavy period and my hemoglobin was really low. It was long enough after chemo for me that my MO said it wasn't from chemo. My uterine lining was healthy, too, but the monthly aggravation was just awful. I had an endometrial ablation in July, and since, no problems! Iron is coming back up. Now, I am middle aged and done bearing children, so this may not be an option for you. You do appear young. I hope that your gyn can give you another option.

 One more Herceptin to go and I'll be done! 

Lemondrop you may have mixed up the recovery times for a DIEP versus a TRAM.  The DIEP is a faster recovery because it doesn't take any abdominal muscle, just the skin, fat, and blood vessels.  The TRAM also takes a piece of the muscle that the blood vessels are running through (size of muscle taken is dependent on the skill of your surgeon and how you're put together).  Because muscle tissue is also taken, there are restrictions on how you use your belly.  Figure 4 weeks of no exercising and being cautious getting out of bed, etc and then you're back to normal.  The size of the hip-to-hip scar and how long it takes to heal is the same with either method. 

I wanted a DIEP because of the faster recovery time, but my surgeon is more cautious (not necessarily a bad thing) and he insists on taking the piece of muscle that the blood vessels run through (instead of just over or under).  The piece he takes is about the size of your index finger.  He maintains that this additional small piece provides so much more stability and safety to preserve the anastomosis (the micro surgery connecting the belly vessels to the chest vessels), that he won't do a DIEP.  He claims he's had no failures with this reduced TRAM procedure.  So, it was get the surgery done as quickly as possible (get this cancer out of me! was my mantra) or wait another 5 weeks for a surgeon who would do a DIEP.  I chose the mini TRAM. 

After about two weeks I stopped being so cautious with the belly and started light crunches, etc.  I could feel the stretching and pulling of the repair, but nothing untoward and at 6 weeks was fully released to go back to muscle building training.  It could also be that the stretching and pulling was related to his repair of something like a hernia that often occurs in the top-most abdominal muscles after pregnancy. 

With due respect to everyone's choices (especially those who may not have the luxury of a choice - if you don't have micro plastics in your area, a free tissue transplant is not possible), based on the postings here, the implant route seems to be more discomfort and certainly a lot more time with all the fills and exchange issues.  The free tissue required more time in the hospital (figure 5-7 days), but then you're done except for 2-3 quick follow-up visits.  I also very much prefer not having to go back to have the implant replaced in 10-15 years.  Assuming the anastomosis takes (and you'll know by the time you leave the hospital-that's why you're in so long-they have to be sure), there can be no rejection, leaking, or similar issues. 

It has been a long and emotionally draining week for me.  After discussing with my parents, best friend, and doctors...we have decided to not go with chemo for a variety of reasons all due to my previous health issues.  While my med onco wasn't happy, she completely understood my reasons and let it go with that. 

However, when my best friend and I were talking about medical stuff and another co-worker blantantly listened and flipped out on me saying that I was selfish and wrong in my decisions and that she hoped it would come back and that she would pray for me on Sunday.  I was stunned that someone I thought I was friends with would say something so hurtful.  Then she decided to get all our co-workers involved in this mess.  My boss finally had to tell people to leave it alone and back off because it was my decision and everyone needed to mind their own business.

OMG Heidi that's awful… but it does happen. BTW did you ask this person when she got her medical degree and specialization in oncology?

lemondrop I know women that have had their implants for 20 years. The companies only guarantee them for 10 years but that doesn't mean they automatically have to be replaced at 10. I didn't have the option of tram or diep… you've seen me. Tummy is not the area I have issues with. I know in some cases doctors will take tissue from your back (Latissimus Dorsi) if the tissue in front is too damaged from radiation for implants.Here is a link to read about all the different procedures. Note this doctor doesn't like implants but her site has great information: linky 

I would also recommend getting a 2nd opinion.

camillegal I think you are obsessed.

Heidi....so sorry that happened to you.  The others have laid it out well.  It is your decision and other than asking a few questions only sympathizing and offering  support is actually appropriate.  Should this gal ( god forbid ) get cancer she can do what she deems right for herself, but coming into someone's conversation uninvited in this case, was very rude behavior and I wish the boss/supervisor had said something to that effect. 

I hope you are all going to have a wonderful week-end.  Talk to you later.

Hugs, Jackie

Roula, I agree with Lago - get some better pain meds! Hope you are healing - I have been thinking about you. HeidiD - I am so sorry that your co-worker was such a jerk! Lago, the reason I have ruled out implants is because my PS says I have a big risk of failure/infection given the condition of my radiated tissue on the one side and the problems I am having (excess fluid build-up/irritation) on the other. I know that implants can generally last quite a while, and would have preferred that route, but not in my current situation. I actually am a big proponent of second opinions most of the time, but I love and really trust my PS (same one that Joan and WestieLuv go to). For me now, it's just deciding between lat and diep. After a couple of days of non-stop research and thinking about it, I am less freaked out. I think I was more thrown because we had originally planned this surgery for December, maybe even January. Now, it's next month. Now that I have gotten a bit more used to that idea, I am feeling better. In many ways, I am more worried about how long I will need to recover than about the actual surgery. I have bought tickets to take my girls to see the Kellogg's gymnastics exhibition in Chicago (men's and women's Olympic team members, plus other elite US gymnasts). Hopefully, I can schedule around that, but if not, my DH or my mom can take them. Hopefully, I can wrap up some projects at work, but if not, someone else can take them over. Hopefully, my kids won't have to miss too many of their activities while I am recovering . . . I just need to not get too wound up about missing time out of my life (easier said than done).  Thanks for listening!

Heidi-I'm appalled at your co-workers words and actions.  If she does it again, tell her she can make those decisions when it's her cancer-but this is your situation and you'll deal with it in the way you feel appropriate for you.

lemondrop-it sounds like you're in good hands, I'm sure you'll make the right choice.  please remember you need some time for you-your children will survive and flourish better with a well-healed and rested mother than by pushing yourself to get them to every activity. I have a 20 yo and a 16 yo and they don't even remember many of the things I stressed over to take them to, buy them, etc.  What they do remember and appreciate are family dinners together, impromtu talks and just being there.

Roula-((hugs for healing))

Looks like another beauty of a day-enjoy!

Spunky.....go glad I chose the quote I did.....I had not read here yet.  Hope you all have a great Saturday.

Hugs, Jackie

Happy Belated Birthday, Jackie!  And you quoted Edna St. Vincent Millay!  I won't claim to be a big poetry fan, but I do love her work.

Here's one for you, for being there for everyone with all the words of support you have shared:

""Unselfish and noble actions are the most radiant pages in the biography of souls." - David Thomas

Shannie - Welcome!  I'm so glad you found your way here.  The ladies here have an awful lot to offer, whether you're a chatter or a lurker.

Heidi - It's unbelievable that a co-worker would be so insensitive and rude to you regarding such a personal decision.  She needs to go pray for herself to learn about compassion and minding her own business.  

Roula - Hugs to you for an easy post-op time.  

Lemondrop - When I had to make my surgical decisions, there weren't as many options on the table.  Surgeons were doing DIEP's, Lat's and Tran's, but they just weren't as commonplace as they seem to be now.  At the time, a lot of women were going to New Orleans for DIEP's, and I did consider that, briefly. I'm not sure what I would have chosen if they had been more options but I think it's great that you do have so many to choose from.  I don't regret my implants, or the several surgeries I had to get them "fixed up" to my satisfaction.  In hindsight, I'm just glad I'm done with all that!  I think what's most important is that you find a PS you trust and feel comfortable talking to.  I know it's natural to worry about them but kids really are incredibly resilient and will be fine.  We had a typically insane family schedule when started this crazy trip, but it all worked out.  I did miss a few things, but there have been plenty more to make up for it.  

It looks like another gorgeous day out there.  I should probably go motivate (meaning: get out of my pj's!). 

Happy Sunday ladies - they finally got my pain under control. Norco is going to be my best friend for a few days. Mr. Morphine was just not doing his job so I had to break up with him.



Feeling much better actually. Thanks for the hugs and healing thoughts everyone.

Roula good, good, good--let's hope there's no Mrs. Norco.

Roula-glad to hear your pain is being managed-soon you won't need Mr. Norco!

Camillegal-love the pic, I'm going to have to borrow that one.

Roula, glad you got some relief, rest and let your body heal fully!