The dumbest things people have said to you/about you
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Hello to all - I had my bone scan done Fri. Onc PNP just called - nothing showed up concerning my arm, but the radiologist wants me to have a CT of chest done Thurs. due to "something" he saw in ribs and lungs. Of course the PNP once again reassured me (not!), with the non-commital comment of "It could be something or maybe not" - well, duh - I know that - sorry - just really nervous as my ribs under LX breast are sore and I have noted shortness of breath - Its ok - I know you guys are with me and I can get through this.....scared.....
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Oh reality it is true it might not be anything serious--we know but our minds aren't in that zone anymore--Good it's scheduled this week, get it over with. Sorry u have this scare--we've all said this sucks always, but I do hope it something manageable on the Drs. part. Cuz alot of times it's something that to us is stupid stuff cuz we have to think the worset---but the wait is another disgusting thing. So we're here alot. So u want to rant or be sad we can help u--but I do remember someone saying they had this type of thing and it was not-cancer related so it could all be good.
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Barbe-
I forget who said it. My pcp or Ob/gyn. But really!! -
Reality, we are ALL holding your hands!! Of course you are scared, I am scared for you and I'm not even you!!!! (And I know you know what I mean!)
Dakota, go back and smack them up the side of their heads...both of them, just in case one of them thought that!!! What false hope....the only reason I'm so annoyed is that my daughter had a reduction before me and she was under that impression too!!!!!
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Barbe1958: You say "unless all the ducts were taken" and that is only with DCIS. The ducts are what is represented by the term "IDC" or Invasive "ductal" cancer. See below the DCIS definition:
Ductal carcinoma in situ (DCIS) is the most common type of non-invasive breast cancer. Ductal means that the cancer starts inside the milk ducts, carcinoma refers to any cancer that begins in the skin or other tissues (including breast tissue) that cover or line the internal organs, and in situ means "in its original place." DCIS is called "non-invasive" because it hasn't spread beyond the milk duct into any normal surrounding breast tissue. DCIS isn't life-threatening, but having DCIS can increase the risk of developing an invasive breast cancer later on.
Yes, you were right and I mis-read the part where it said there was a higher risk of recurrence than someone who'd never had BC. No kidding?? I think we all could figure that one out.
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Day: Just to comment on health insurance. In my case, they were not required by any law, federal or otherwise, to pay for a "prophylactic" mast. I had to fight like hell and even write an appeal to get them to change their minds. The thing they ARE required by federal law is to pay for breast reconstruction, whatever form(s) that takes. And of course, they covered the original double mast surgery without question.
Now we need the doctors to lobby to change the NCCN guidelines after all treatment is finished, for surveillance !!!! Have had two friends recently DX'd with 2nd & 3rd recurrence, and I blame their oncs not following up closer.
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To the woman at the bus stop today who barely knows me but asked me how long I have to live.....go #$#& yourself!
She brings this up as casually as if she were asking for a recipe or something.....what a total jerk! I told her that my prognosis and treatment plan are between me and my doctor.....not the neighbors.
I think I will be driving my kid to school from now on.
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Oh My. I am so sorry that this was asked of you. How you handled this with grace and dignity is beyond me. Argh. People are beyond insensitive.
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Just once I'd like to tell someone that tells me I look good that it's probably because I have BC not face cancer, or well that is the most important thing now, isn't it? I know they mean well so I don't, but one of these days...
Someone told me - see I told you drinking all that soda and sugar was bad for you. Really? Like I haven't thought about every unhealthy thing I've done in my life that may have contributed to my cancer. And nevermind the family history over which I have no control. I added that remark to my list of reasons why I don't have a permit to carry!
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my2boys - oh I AM SO SORRY...that is just appalling. I have no other words.
Your response was so fitting and appropriate. I would not have been able to think
of that - you handled it amazingly!
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Thank you ladies for your support. I came in from the bus stop and cried my eyes out and then I decided that from now on my son will wait inside until the bus arrives and he will go out and get on the bus without discussion. Glad he's in the 5th grade now so he doesn't need his mom waiting with him at the bus stop. I really don't want him to hear any more of her thoughtless comments.
Jerk of a neighbor can wait with her kids by herself from now on.....I need to keep my stress level down.
xoxo....thank you again ladies.
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Almost a year ago someone said to me upon announcing my diagnosis to him, "well it could be worse...". What I wished I would've said...."is that a pep talk or a prediction?" a-hole!
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my2boys.....you get the prize for the dumbest neighbor of all time. Stay away from her as yes, keeping stress down is best
she tops any of the dumb things I heard
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MY2...how in sensitive. Stupid thing to say. Perhaps you should have said well hopefully the bus will not run us both over when it comes. Where is that bus???
Maggie
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Here ya go!
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Oh my goodness Carolyn. That is soooooo funny!! This made me laugh so hard. Thanks again. You ladies are great!
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thanks Carolyn...we needed that....BAM!
Maggie
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My2boys, I would have told her you were going to die the day after she did!!! Make her friggin' THINK!!!
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That's great Carolyn
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I can't take credit. I think it was 3jaysmom who originally posted that. I just copied it and have it "on deck" now when needed.
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wow - that was a new low......
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Hi Ladies,
Per a few suggestions, I did start a new topic - to help vent and laugh all at the same time - its called: Doctor confusion: what the Doc says/what the doc means.. I found a get well card that started this and thought it could be fun to mull through what the doc Really said... Just wanted my friends to know what this was about - I did put it in the LE topic, but it is for everyone..
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Lately, mine is not about what studid things people say to me, I tend to have a quick comeback for stupid. Being a teacher, I had the summer off. And this year, I really took it off, I traveled and visited family, went to the beach twice, camped in the mountains, I needed to be relaxed and meditate with my best people around me!!!
Coming back to work, I was excited, I love my job. Even tho the world looks down on teachers as causing all the problems in this country and how over paid we are and how lousy we are at our jobs, and blah blah blah, I love what I do!! So I get excited about meeting my new 7th graders every year. I have a teacher that is on my team that was going to stay in Ohio and take a job up there, but then at last minute changed mind. I'm glad, having new members on our team is hard with the children that we teach. But she came back not in a good frame of mind, like she came back because it's comfortable not because she likes her job. So everyday is something new to complain about. Yes, I know, we have children with issues, and we have parents that don't know how to discipline, and yes we have a principal that runs our school that treats the kids like babies, but so what!!!! Be positive, have fun, laugh, enjoy life. And now I am seeing that her attitude is rubbing off on our other team members. It's wrong. You had a choice to stay away, but you came back, so make the best of it, quit bitching and being negative and just do your job. Stop texting all day, or sitting at desk playing on your computer, teach these kids. I have seen that many of them even though they struggle with reading, love to learn if it is fun!!!I'm just so tired of people that are negative constantly bitching at me about petty stuff.
Okay, I'm good, that's off my chest. Glad I have today off, Herceptin day. Gives me a day to pull it all back together in my mind and stay focused on what is important. -
GREAT rant kerrberlady!! For what it's worth, I think teachers are AMAZING!!! It's them that make or break the way a child sees education. I always made sure that my kids respected their teachers and wanted to learn. Learning is just such POWER! If only kids could see that at a very early age, they'd have a better attitude about school. I went to night school for many, many topics over the years, even some university, so my kids grew up seeing Mom continue to learn things. I think that was a powerfullearning tool, but I didn't think of it that way at the time. I did it for me!!
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Good a.m. to all - I am going to post a quick rant and then I'm off on a 2 hour trek to VT to see my BS concerning the "areas of concern" on recent breast sono. I had my CT of chest done yesterday - no results until Tues., of course. The rad nurse was very nice - I know she was just trying to establish a rapport with me before sticking me with the contrast dye I.V., but her initial greeting was not what I needed to hear; "My, but don't you look chipper", was her greeting - Oh really? I looked "chipper" after being up most of the night with arm pain and great concern about a lung lesion and "area of concern on third rib" from my bone scan report. I wanted to tell her that "chipper" was not excactly a good word to use to describe a person who is about to have a CT scan to see if the "lung lesion" is a Pancoast tumor or not and if the "area of concern" of third rib is bone mets.....
Oh well - on a more positive note, I have not had a chance to visit with my son in months - We talk every day and exchange kids throughout the week, every week, but never have a chance to talk. He is taking me to VT today - we are going to make a day of it - will even stop for lunch. The trip includes a beautiful 20 min. ferry ride across Lake Champlain - I am really looking forward to spending time with him and getting a hug from my awesome BS.
I will check-in later - Also, Barbe- I imagined your wonderful smile as the CT scanner started spinning yesterday. It got me though the stress of the scan. I'm ok with CT's until that da##n thing revs up and starts spinning, along with the creepy sound of the tech saying "don't breathe".....
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Reality -
Hope you have a fabulous day!!! Cheers !! -
Small rant. But don't think i'm crazy for being miffed.
So my younger sister and I really haven't talked in a few years for various reasons, my parents inform me of her kids goings on as she has utilized them, at no charge of course, for babysitting. Not a whole lot heard from her in that last year and a half i've been in cancer land for the second time. We're friends on facebook so I see her updates. She posts this morning to pray for her dog, lumps all over it.
I think I may have broken my jaw when it hit the floor. My luck someone on here is friends with her, maybe not, she probably dumped you too.
Wow. Just. Wow. -
Oh wow---is riht--but if u talk on FB why don't u just talk--it would be so nice to have a sister on u'r side with u. It's just not right when family members don't talk--I mean I know there are problems, but everyone suffersu'r mom especially. So sorry
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