In shock

stepmic, SO glad you mentioned this!  I started seeing a therapist right after diagnosis too.  Her bio stated that one of her specialties was helping people cope with medical issues.  Turns out she has a masters in nursing and doctorate in psychology.  Amazing woman helped me ride the rollercoaster of making decisions, going through treatment, and personal issues that happened along the way.  I too highly recomment getting help.  

After my diagnosis, I received a letter from a social worker at the hospital offering free counseling.  In the meantime I'd started with someone and decided to stay with her because it seemed like a good fit.   I found my therapist on this site, you can specify location and specific concern (there is one called chronic pain and illness that seemed to be the closest, also anxiety).  I contacted several therapists via email, briefly explained my situation and asked if they accepted my insurance and hours of avalability.  Reading the responses was a good screening tool and I ended up choosing someone out of network, but it's all worked out.  http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php

Dear Mindy and Bennymuffins,

This is so hard to digest, and the ladies on the forum have all been there in the beginning. We all went through this. This truly is the worst phase of them all. Once you now what you're dealing with, and once there is a treatment plan in place, you will feel more in charge of the situation. Listen to the drs, ask questions, and make informed decisions. Get second opinions if you are not comfortable.

I was diagnosed just before Christmas last year with breast cancer as well as endometrial cancer. Had two major surgeries, chemotherapy and radiation. My treatment ended on July 6, and I was pronounced 'cured' by the oncologists. Still have to get DIEP flap reconstruction surgery next year. As I sit here, I feel healthy, energetic and back to my old self. Started my exercise regimen again this week with joga classes and training in the gim, and life couldn't be better. Just hang in there, and be very good to yourself. Nobody asks for this, but it comes knocking on our doors anyway. Stay calm, and take it one step at a time. It's a marathon, not a race. 

benny, betting you are a long way from dieing although, look both ways when you cross the street.  sorry, that is a joke told to my brother when he was diagnosed years ago.

Try not to jump ahead as the treatment is what will, well, keep you alive for your family and pals

stay busy this weekend, what do you have planned? Picnic or yard party,any thing to keep moving and not stressing, also, not sure the receptionist is the person to listen to~ wait for the docs so maybe you want to think on questions for him next week

Benny, we have all been there.  It is such an emotional rollercoaster.   It is so challenging.

And I don't know about you, but when I would see the doctors, my brain would just shut off or short circuit.

I then started writing things down and taking my notebook with me.   My Oncologist would sometimes write on my

notebook which helped!

If you feel like giving up - it is just a feeling.  But the truth is, the strength comes.   It comes when you need it the most.  And it comes from the most unusual places.

Prayers and encouragement to you...Denise

Benny, your dr ordered all these scans because he is obviously a very good, thorough dr, and he wants to make sure exactly what is going on. It does not mean that he thinks there is cancer there - how can he possibly know if it's spread? That's exactly why he ordered these scans. We are so privileged these days to have these tools for diagnosing, because then the drs know how to approach this, and what treatments will be necessary for you. Worrying won't change the outcome, and you are not being good to yourself. Try to distract your attention way from this. You will not die from this. There are many Stage 4 cancer patients who live for a long time after diagnosis. Once you know what's going on and there is a treatment plan in place, you will begin to feel more in charge. Big hugs to you and Mindy too!

bennymuffins

Muffins, you are right, the lesion cannot be In Situ and Invasive all at the same time unless you have two separate lesions.  

Do you have it in writing or was is just the receptionist telling you this.  I really don't think she should say anything if she knows so little. 

 bennymuffins

If you don't have a copy of your pathology report, get it.  You may not understand all of it now, but you will soon know it by heart.  It is hard to understand anything without somethingto refer to. 

proudtospin

I don't think Labor Day is a holiday in Canada.  Maybe they have a corresponding holiday? 

Bennymuffin



I was 3a and I did very aggressive treatment, chemotherapy, double mastectomy, full node removal on the right (my cancer side) radiation and because I was BRCA positive (breast cancer gene) I had my ovaries removed too. All at the ripe old age of 41. I had JUST done a pretty rigorous 10+ mile snowshoe in the Sierras, I did not feel the least bit sick and things in my life just seemed to be falling in place after leaving a 12 year loveless marriage then BAM my life changes drastically. I did all of that treatment had 2 attempts at reconstruction infect and fail and just tried a third time not even 3 weeks ago. I was so worried because clearly my odds are worse than 2b.



I started recently, as I approached my 3 yr anniversary, of worrying what if I spent the last 3 years of my possible 5 I have left attempting reconstruction and going from surgery to surgery....I mean if you are constantly having surgery, 8 in the last 3 years, it is hard to ever get back to "normal" life. One of the "gifts" of all this surgery is I got a CT scan so I know I am clear there.



I also volunteered for a clinical trial and had to have A bone scan TODAY and chewed my nails all day worried about bone mets but I JUST found out I am clear. ALL clear. No cancer anywhere.



So PLEASE, I know it is hard and the unknown really IS the worst. Take a deep breath, get a puppy, and focus on living, this is NOT a death sentence. It does get easier when you know what you are dealing with and what your action plan is. Typically chemotherapy is anywhere from 2-4 months depending on what type. There will be a decision at some point to do neo-adjuvant chemotherapy (chemotherapy before surgery) or surgery/mastectomy then chemotherapy. They usually give you 3-4 weeks in between so you have strength to tackle each step. Radiation can be 4-6 weeks but actually radiation IF you need it takes it out of you because it is 5 days a week where chemotherapy is once every 2 or 3 weeks depending on your regimen.



I am here if you want to chat at all. Still recovering from my surgery so pretty much layg around reading books and watching movies so if you want to chat on the phone just send me a message!



I remember being where you are, but attitude is everything. I faced my possible mortality, I had to, but I also refused to accept the fact that cancer was going to be the way I was going to leave this earth. You have to feel what you have to feel but remember for e ery statistic that takes a life there are many statistics of survivors and you have JUST as much chance of being that statistic as the other. : )



Lesley

Benny, you asked the right question. The answer is that there is no such thing as invasive ductal carcinoma in situ.  

There is Invasive (or Infiltrating) Ductal Carcinoma (IDC) and Ductal Carcinoma in Situ (DCIS).  However IDC usually forms from DCIS so in the majority of cases of IDC, there is also some DCIS present. Often patients aren't even told about the DCIS because it's pretty much irrelevant to the diagnosis (except that it has to be removed). Usually though it's written in the pathology report, since the pathology report mentions everything that's been found in the breast tissue. And often there is a lot of different stuff found in the breast tissue. My pathology report read like a primer on everything that can be in a pathology report. I had a microinvasion of IDC, about 5 different subtypes (comedonecrosis, solid, papillary, micropapillary, cribiform) of DCIS which was mostly grade 3 but with some grade 2 mixed in, ADH and about a 1/2 dozen different fibrocystic conditions.  Lots of different conditions all mixed together, but only a couple that were really important and relevant to my diagnosis.

Benny, in your case, since the receptionist was just reading off the pathology report over the phone, it sounds as though she may have read both "invasive ductal carcinoma" and "ductal carcinoma in situ" and they blended together. Your pathology probably includes both types of cancer, but it's the IDC that counts. Your staging and your treatment will all be based on the IDC. The only thing you need to worry about with the DCIS is that it's removed, which will happen when you have your surgery. After that, any treatments you have to address the IDC will be more than adequate to address the DCIS so you don't need to think about the DCIS again. 

I hope that all makes sense.  And I hope that you are able to relax over the Labour Day long weekend. There is nothing you can do this weekend to change your situation or to move things on. So instead I hope you can use the weekend to relax, absorb what's happened, and figure out how you will deal with what's ahead.  It's a weekend of calm before some of the craziness begins. So it's a good time to think and plan and start to take control of what's happening to you, as much as is possible.  A diagnosis of BC changes your world and completely disrupts your life. You can't change that, but you can manage it and you can learn to fit it into your life. There is nothing like a diagnosis of breast cancer to teach us coping skills and stress management.  And there is nothing like a diagnosis of breast cancer to show us how much we are able to handle. You're at the worst point right now - the news is completely fresh and shocking.  Once the news settles in, you'll find that as much as you don't want to be going through all this, you can do it and you will get through the surgery and treatment, one step and one day at a time. (((Hugs)))

edithesther 

I too, had that feeling of dread.  I am not going to die sometime in the future, I am going to die now.  I got over it.

I would't tell my children until you have a lot more information such as a treatment plan.  No use putting them through the torture of waiting.  You anxiety will calm down too.  I think you will see the wisdom of this when you do have to tell them. 

Hi Edith:

My DH and I told our sons (ages 32 & 35) as soon as the diagnosis came in and then I've kept them up to date on what's happening.

They were scared for me at first since Momma died from lung cancer but now they understand that my bc is different and my prognosis is excellent.  From time to time they still have questions and I answer them as best I can.  

They know the days I have appts and I'm sure to call them after I get out so they stay "in the know".  My youngest son attended this years Relay for Life so he could watch me walk my first survivor's lap.  My brother and niece also came up as well.

Good luck with telling your son and daughters tomorrow.  I'm sure they will have a lot of questions for you and they will realize that this is not a death sentence but a journey that you will be making and that you will need their support now more than ever.

God bless y'all,

LaDonna

Oh bennymuffin...sending you hugs and prayers and even just a little relief from the anxiety you are feeling.  

It is hard to stay positive, try to find some distraction if you can, I know much easier said than done.  

Don't be afraid to ask your dr for something for your nerves, they should understand the need.

Peace 

It's way too bad the receptionist had to shoot off her mouth when it's too early for anyone to really know what's going on.  It's normal to be scared but it will get better, I promise.  Even the worst dx has many good treatments these days, and most likely you will find one that works really well for you.  About the grade 3 thing?  Yes it grows and spreads faster than 1 or 2, but my understanding is that it dies more easily once you start treatment. Chemo works better etc., and recent studies say that those of us with grade 1 have more to worry about as far as a late reoccurance than those with grades 2 or 3 but anyway... 6 months ago I had myself dead and buried by now but I've made it this far and I'm much more at ease with life, I've found a team I trust and we take things day by day.