Desires, wants, frustrations, & fears.

ColorMeStrong
ColorMeStrong Member Posts: 12
edited June 2014 in Managing Side Effects of Breast Cancer and Its Treatment
Desires, wants, frustrations, & fears.
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  • ColorMeStrong
    ColorMeStrong Member Posts: 12
    edited August 2012

    Hi. A couple of months back I took out my soft and oil pastels and painted swirls of blue ocean waves onto a blank canvas. It was an impromptu act of non-verbal expression; one that captured the feelings of a recent dream where I dove, from a tall cliff, into a massive tsunami that was coming right at me. But I wasn't alone--I had people around me and told them: "We can do this, we can ride out the tsunami, and we dove in." We survived. Days after the dream, I stumbled across an affirmation from Jon Kabat-Zinn that connected with my feelings so well that I added it to the top right corner of the painting: You can't stop the waves from coming, but you can learn how to surf.

    Today, I still find myself surfing through the sea of desires, wants, frustrations, and fears. Desires of being cancer free, of loving fully; wants of a long life surrounded by people I love; frustrations over medical choices & decisions, of people's concern and opinions; and fears of __________--and so much more. So here I am wondering who else is out there surfing? And what is their surfing all about?

    Please share. I'd love to hear your stories. :)

    With respect, Patti

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  • kelly279
    kelly279 Member Posts: 55
    edited August 2012

    Hi Patti, I really like that quote. How appropriate for what we are going though right now. To answer your question, yesterday I read online that young women (under 40) with bc have a lower survival rate due to the aggressive nature of the cancer. I am 32 years old and have a little boy who's going to be 2 in October. Reading this yesterday brought me right back to the beginning when I was so scared of not getting to see my son grow up. I guess that's why we are told to stay away from the internet!

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  • susan3
    susan3 Member Posts: 3,728
    edited September 2012

    been going through the "surfing" for about 10 years now. i say you got to walk through the fire to get to the other side. while in the fire, i have learned to love deeply, cherish every moment, and real realy live, from my soul. i never would have experienced such depth without the trials. its hard to explain the impact of a hug or a look or a..... until there is such a more powerful source behind it. i have found great great joy in the fire. i have loved deeper then ever thought possible. i suppose their are some out there that can reach those feelings without the trials, but that is not me, but i hope others can learn from us :)

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