Do I have PTSD or Major Depression?

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  • MeliC
    MeliC Member Posts: 13
    edited August 2012

    Hi Curly Girl, I read ur post and I feel all of those things too! And as I read ur words I thought that is exactly how I felt. I am taking a leave from work it's been 5 months. Its still frustrating. I continue to see my therapist weekly. I have seen two different psychriatrists over the last 5 months, they keep putting me on meds or sample packs of drugs. I have been on and off anxiety and anti-deps and nothing is working.
    My realationship is suffering..My husband understood the physcial distrees during treatment but the aftermath, my depression/ anxiety and me wanting to quit my job...He is scared, but so am I.

    I met with a CNP psych nurse this week. She seems more willing to take the time to find a med to lift the depression and also to help me sleep. She seemed more genuine than the others. I am keeping my fingers crossed ....But I am not giving up on me! So this might very well mean that I need to quit my job and move on ... but slowly. Cancer changes you ... what didn't bother you before now does because we know or we're beginning to find out our life is precious! We don't want to be miserable we know miserable and we all have had quite enough of it! Time to enjoy ... It's a WIP :)



    DuneSleeper, congrats on early retirement and I am wishing you happy days!

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  • dunesleeper
    dunesleeper Member Posts: 2,060
    edited August 2012

    Meli, I am entirely glad I retired. I knew that job was keeping me down but had no idea just how much. Or maybe I was afraid I would still be misersble after I quit. Anyway, even though I am not bringing in enough money to pay my bills, I am much more at ease. I guess I'll stress if they deny me disability retirement and I run out of savings. For now, though, I am enjoying doing all the things I could not do when I was working  . . . well, things that don't cost money anyway.

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  • SillyMama
    SillyMama Member Posts: 173
    edited August 2012

    Although my tx is several years behind me I've observed the following about myself. I don't have a very good memory of pain. For instance, one week the door slammed on my fingers and I remember that it was one of the top 3 pains I've ever had, but I only remember THAT I hurt. But fear, mannnn... I can remember fear like it was yesterday (or today, really.) You know how they say that eskimos have a whole set of vocabulary words for different kinds of snow? Well, I think that cancer patients should have a whole set of vocabulary words to describe all the different types of fear.

    I really do think that I had PTSD for the first year after treatment ended.

    In the past several years after that, I've gone through several life issues/changes (besides/after cancer), and while I think I did okay for a while, maybe they did tap back into my PTSD or that cyclical phenomenon of fear. I found myself in a very challenging job and at the same time with enhanced family responsibilities, and it was turning out to be too much, way too much.

    I am very grateful to find other women posting on similar feelings during similar circumstances.

    I am in the process of retiring this month. It still feels really wierd, like I am running from (instead of towards) something.

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  • dunesleeper
    dunesleeper Member Posts: 2,060
    edited August 2012
    I took early retirement Sillymama. I do know what you are talking about. It is nice to be able to have the time to focus on taking care of me and the house. And I will be taking a class in a couple of weeks. I am still trying to get a routine going. I retired July 1st. I was a basket case and felt I couldn't stay there any longer. Best wishes for your retirement. You earned it. Now enjoy it. Heck, I'm taking off for the ocean for a couple of days this week . . . because I can. The accomodations are free, so it will only cost me gas and food. Early retirement doesn't pay so well so I have had to be careful with money, but this was an offer I could not refuse. Cool
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  • SillyMama
    SillyMama Member Posts: 173
    edited August 2012

    Thanks so much for the reply, dunesleeper.

    Wow, you're just 2 months ahead of me. I will probably have questions for you about how you met the changes. This *IS* a big life change. I have *ALWAYS* worked.

    My son is on a day trip with another family so I'm probably going to campus today to take care of some of the last details... So hard to finish cutting the cord but I was a basket case, too.

    I wonder if I can get the rest of it done today... Might be the best thing to do.

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  • dunesleeper
    dunesleeper Member Posts: 2,060
    edited August 2012

    I'll be glad to help SillyMama. Going to the ocean tomorrow so I'll miss a couple of nights of checking in.

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