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tel
tel Member Posts: 4
Hi,

My Dad has bladder cancer and is starting chemo in a couple of weeks. Mom had a tumor removed from her Pancreas 3 months ago, but now there is a spot on her Kidney, Cat Scan reports due on Kidney and Pancreas tomorrow.

My 45 yr old premeno Sister was diagnosed with Breast Cancer last Friday! I'm not sure how 3 of my immediate family members can all have cancer in less than 1 year, but here we are.

My Sister had an MRI 2 days ago and it shows no spread, which is good we think it's 4 yrs old! She has the Invasive infiltrating mildly diferentiated ductal carcinoma. They plan on trying for just a lumpectomy next Tuesday. (I went and had a mammogram yesterday just to be checked)

I'm overwhelmed at times and of course afraid and really just wanted to talk to others with sick family members who won't tell me "it will all be ok, don't worry". Like it's a switch you can flip on and off. I'd prefer not to worry, but with 3 sick, it's triple the worry.

I'm sorry for all of you who are here, because I know you too are worried and your hearts hurt. I just need a place to hang out for awhile if you don't mind?

Thanks!

Tess

Comments

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited April 2006
    Hi Tess,

    It seems you have heaping seconds on you plate for sure. Of course you are going to worry and now it is worry x3.

    Although I am not in the same situation you are, I think that just by looking what has happened to your family in such a short time that you will be very vigilant and have your health monitered very closely.

    This really does suck big time.

    Wishing the very best for your family and you.
  • tel
    tel Member Posts: 4
    edited April 2006
    Thank you! I talked to you on the just dx'd board. I will be careful about my own health, I have a 2yr old Son and DH I'd like many more years with!

    I think the hardest part is waiting, waiting, waiting. I'm not a good waiter but have gotten a lot of practice with it now.

    Best to you and yours as well

    Tess
  • elsiemay
    elsiemay Member Posts: 1
    edited April 2006

    Hi to you all, I have never put any thing on I hope I'm doing this right, I have gone through the 8 months of chemo and 6 weeks of radiation, now I have to have 1 year of more chemo which is called hercipitin, the chemo nurses are having a very bad time getting the needle in my vein's and are sugesting that I have a port -cath put in, can any one tell me if there is any chance of infection setting in while this is in use for a year. may

  • blulrich
    blulrich Member Posts: 66
    edited April 2006
    May -- My best friend had a port for 6 years (leukemia) and my mom had one for a couple of months (just got hers out a couple of weeks ago). Neither had infections, but they had to be real careful. It's not like it's exposed or anything, but they had to keep the area clean and make sure they didn't hang around people coughing and such. Not sure if that was for general health since chemo kills your counts or whether that was also out of concern for port infection. Anyone know?

    What I do know is that neither would have done much chemo with their port. Especially my best friend. She would tell me it didn't even hurt when they stuck her in the port.

    Hope it helps!
  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited April 2006
    Hi Elsie,
    Big hugs for you !
    My 46yr old premenapausal sister dx'd IDC stage2 grade3.
    Your will be instructed about your Port,like don't let anyone access without washing there hands first and they must be trained to access the port. It will need to be flushed but the chemo nurses take care of that during infusion. If you have the kind my sister had everything is under the skin no tubes on the outside at all , it looks likes a small round disk through the skin above your collar bone on your good side
    Since you are Her2nu+ there is whole thread for the her2 ladies supporting each other here . Good luck sweetie I have read some very good things about this medication.

    You won't have to be stuck all the time and they can even do blood draws from it. My sister was happy to have hers .

    Carrie
  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited April 2006
    Tess,
    You have come to right place for lots of support
    My sisters Dx is alot like yours, and wow so sorry about all this at once {{{{hugs}}}}.
    I won't tell you not to worry , but I will tell you once things start moving with your sister and she has a treatment plan to fight the beast, it does help. The waiting game is the absolute torture for both family and patient! This is all so new you must feel completly overwhelmed! Your family is going to need you so don't forget to take care of yourself too. Rest when you can,
    do something nice for yourself too.
    Getting your mammo is something I did too right after my sisters Dx.
    Hugs Tess come get hugs and info as much as you need to!
    Carrie
  • cowgirl
    cowgirl Member Posts: 777
    edited April 2006
    Tess,
    Sometimes it feels you are getting a downpour, and a gentle rain would have been hard enough. My advise is cancer is a journey not a sprint( and you are doing three journies at the same time!). So pace yourself, don't overdue. The easy part about cancer patients is they move slow a lot, so that is a good thing for you. There may be some way to cordinate who needs you when, taking the highest priority first.

    I have never been in your situation but I am good at listening, and encouraging. I will put you and your family on my prayer list. My family had it one at a time, which is easier. I am survivor myself so I can tell you how the patients are feeling.

    Waiting game is the worst part, so that is very normal. Cancer teaches a patient patience, and the family members learn true fear. Where you are is much harder than where they are! They are focused on beating the beast, you want to fix them all.

    Vent here it really helps I promise!
  • cowgirl
    cowgirl Member Posts: 777
    edited April 2006
    May,

    The port will help her cope with treatment, I have heard it over and over ports are a good thing!
  • Marcie48
    Marcie48 Member Posts: 7
    edited April 2006
    Tess,

    My heart goes out to you. I had 8 family members in 7 years fighting lifethreatening sicknesses and I was the primary caregiver for all. It changed me forever and I felt soo tired. I recently found out that my bestfriend has bc. I too am new to this but got some excellent advice on this web page that has already helped me. It is about all I have to offer.

    I was referred to two different web pages: www.caringbridge.org and www.lotsahelpinghands.com. The first site allows you to set up a web page to which access can be limited to preserve privacy. This is allowing me to communicate for my friend to her many friends how she is doing and is allowing them to send their well wishes to her. It also creates an ongoing journal for her of this journey.

    The second one, I have yet to finish setting up but I wish I had it during those seven years as I was exhausted. This allows you to coordinate volunteers in a pretty efficient method. I say this as one that use to coordinate events for over 100 people regularly. I have high hopes that it will allow us to spread the work out so the exhaustion is not so deep.

    Please try to put yourself first some. I know it will be hard but you and your son need it and you can't care for others if there is nothing left of you. I have never had the triple wammy you are getting and have a hard time imagining but one thing I did learn from those seven years is that a support network is essential. I have only logged onto this one for about a week and I have learned a tremendous amount.

    Oh...I am not all that computer literate. I do what I have to for work and communication and generally learn by the trial by fire method. That being said, I was able to set up the web page on caringbridge by working on and off today. I worked for about half an hour before work and probably a total of two hours at work (I work for myself..so sometimes I playhooky and then fire myself!)(-:

    I will be thinking of you. One step at a time and breathe!
  • JILLIANNE
    JILLIANNE Member Posts: 5
    edited May 2006
    Dear Stunned, I am so sorry to hear what has been going on in your family. There is no words to express the shock and fear you must be feeling.
    My father had IBC last year. But, he was never properly diagnosed and died after being treated for pneumonia for months. It was a horrible situation for him and for his family that loved him deeply.
    The only consulation I can give you is that if they have been diagnosed, at least your family members can be receiving the proper treatment. That is so important at this time.
    The best thing for you is to take time for yourself--and, be sure to take good care of yourself. This is an extremely stressful time for you. I did not take this important step and ended up suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after dad's illness. So, I can not stress enough to take care of yourself!
  • laryy48
    laryy48 Member Posts: 49
    edited May 2006
    Howdy! Wow, do you have a lot on your plate. I just wanated to offer my help if you need it. I spent several years as caregiver, cheerleader and all-around supporter of my wife, Kathy, who fought metastatic breast cancer for three years. As I told another person today, I have walked in your shoes and had to be the person relied on for positive attitude, good thoughts and being there to support. Although I did not have to do this for three people in my family at once. Anyway, I would be happy to help with any advice, suggestions, shoulders.....whatever you and your family need. Be strong. Stay positive. Laugheter helps. My wife and I would laugh a lot during her chemo treatments. KAthy saif that humor helped immensely. I will be praying for you and your family. contact me anytime.

    laryy48
  • ariesmaiden
    ariesmaiden Member Posts: 5
    edited May 2006
    Hi Tess.
    Sorry about the family. I have no idea how I would handle all that at once.

    Just wanted to share something that I wrote for my wife recently that I reread everything I find my strength lagging. It can be applied to any close relationship, be it family,friend, or spouse I think..

    If strength is the only option
    And acceptance the key
    Where do I pull either
    When my source has always been you?
    I look to those around us
    Who seem not to understand
    Where have they all gone
    When strength is needed most?
    I begin to look within me
    And find the unexpected
    Our love is my strenght
    Memories of times we've shared
    Dreams of things we want
    They are all still within
    Giving me courage to stand beside you
    To carry you should you falter
    To laugh with you
    To cry with you
    To let my strenght be yours.
    Together we can conquer anything,
    And our love is my strength.


    Aries

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