HER2 positive - My 36 year old daughter just diagnosed

Carlotta - your original post seems to have been moved to the caregivers thread, but here's what I posted to your original post. 

Carlotta - what a wonderful mum you are.  She'll need all the help she can get.  If she's HER2+ she'll have to have chemo - and that's both physically and emotionally draining.  Chemo not only makes you tired and ill - it messes with your head too.

I found I didn't want anyone "fussing" over me, but it was nice to not have to think about cooking or cleaning.  My DH used to just hold me when I'd start crying uncontrollably - I didn't always know exactly what it was I was crying about, but I was very low emotionally on chemo.

You know your daughter best though - she may need "fussing" over lol and if that's her, then give that to her.  Chemo isn't nice, but it is doable and not everyone gets all the side effects.  She may not even get sick, there are wonderful medications these days to stop that.

I think that just knowing that she doesn't need to worry about her family and that you are there to look after everyone will be an enormous help.

Trish

xoxo

carlotta: I'm 38 and was dx'd in February. Your being will be the best thing you can do for her. Listen to her. Encourage her. Let her be sad. Let her be scared. Let her cry when she needs to. But remind her that she has everything in the world to live. When the initial devastation wears off, help her fight and keep her mind busy. An idle mind is the last thing she needs right now. And remember to take care of you too. Let yourself be emotional too when you need to. My mom and I never had a really close relationship, but when I was dx'd, she was all I wanted I didn't want her to leave my side. I didn't even want her to go home. She went to all my appointments with me, and I saw the pain and fear in her eyes. Even at 38, I was still her baby, and she was terrified. We are closer now than we've ever been, I am finishing radiation and doing well. You and your daughter will be in my prayers, and please pm me if there are any questions I can answer or anything I can do to help.

Hi Carlotta - my daughter is also Stage IV.  She was originally diagnosed in 2008 at just 32, went through all the treatments but the cancer returned in Feb 2011.  Looks like our girls are close to the same age and both have 2 children.  How hard to have such young ones and go through this, my grandchildren are 15 and 6.

I have thought many times that this is like a rollercoaster ride and struggled with the emotional ups and downs. I wish there was an easy answer but I think it is different for all of us. I try to always let my daughter lead the way, if she wants to talk I listen, and if I ask questions and she is hesitant I let it go till she's ready to talk about it.  I used to go to her house every chemo day and leave a small gift and a card from the 'chemo fairy'.  She said it really brightened her day and she actually looked forward to getting home to see what the faries had brought her.

Prayers for you and your daughter and a big hug for the grandbabies.

Cathy