Rant on...

whaevah - for an alien cat you look pretty darn good too  

Keep fingers crossed for me today - hoping to get my drains pulled by the doc today - apt. this afternoon.... otherwise I'll back to rant.

May I?

10) Yes, waiting!  After all the tests, I did not have to wait.  Was told it looked like cancer, needed the biopsies. Against my better judgement, I agreed to biopsies and was expected to wait two weeks?! wtf, and found out in the end onc knew in two days and had scheduled me for two weeks out bcz that way he would be in the town 10 mi from me --- well, I called and went to his town and took 6 days off my wait.  Yes, morec ancer that had been left.

9) breast surgeons not making sure you had the tests so they would know what to do next, just wanting to do an mx to keep it simple.

8) surgeons who do not follow directions on what your wishes are and put your life on the line.

7) nurses that ask how you are andwhat is going on so they can fill intakefor the GP, then tell you that though you are nauseous but forcing self to eat like before, dizzy, exhausted, have pain and can feel long things and roundish things growing in your boobs, they tell you well isn't it lovely that you lost 17 frigging pounds in a month when you did not even try.

6) oncs who lead you on about trials for innovative chemo choices like they are doing in Europe

5) not being able to get disability when I cannot even drive safely, get lost, have LE and dealing with cncer in lymph nodes while others can fake it and get what they want.

4) dealing with phone robots who do not hook me to the rep but argue w me and try to tell me how to fix the problem. edited to add --- and lave me frothing and screaming you useless piece of sheite and punching the phone which does let off the steam needed from all other stuff I hate that is so much more life threatening than a heart attack or stroke. And yes stress feeds cancer by breaking the immune system for the fight/flight issue instead of taking care of the health issue for 45 min eatime this happens, so this phone robot thing NEEDS congressional intervention NOW

3) doing the same thing over and over, everyday the same issues happen and being stuck in hell.

2) people who are always breaking promises, who do not seem to get it that this could be the last few years of my life or I could live to 100, but they seem to think I will always be here to talk to, have holiday with, enjoy doing something together.

1) being treated like this is a one size fits all health challenge when I know better.

I have alot more. *_*

Celine - how much longer are you waiting?  It is like the freight train coming at you.  To me, some days are like I a driving 80 miles an hour through a cornfield, dizzying.  I have my ways of dealing, but it still is waht it is, took over my life.  Keep us posted.  Find ways to kick the fear, it is there, it is maddening, but we must n3ever allow the fear and rush to make our decisions.  The cancer is in there a long time before it is discovered.  A few days, a few weeks longer to find the right doctor and plan for us is worth the time and can be life-changing.  Godspeed.

First of all I am extremely grateful for all the wonderful family and friends who have stood by me and given me endless love and support .  I adore the sweet nurse who on the day I found out I had cancer gave me her diet coke so I would survive the stereo biopsy.  I thank the Lord for the incredible nurses aid who carefully washed the vomit off of me after I threw up post surgery and didn't make me feel worse than I already did.  BUT I have my rant list that I so am happy to get off my chest.

1.  The husband who cannot/willnot show one ounce of of empathy towards me.  He feels this is soooo hard on him.  Not once has he shown up with a nice little gift or card or ever held my hand through this ordeal.  I love him to pieces but wish he would grow up and get over what this has done to him and give me some love and support.

2.  The doctor who gave me a half of xanax for my sentinel node biopsy after I told him I wanted NOT to feel that horrible pain.  I only wish him kidney stones and anything else painful the rest of his life.  I mean it too.  I'm working on this but I truly cannot stand him.

3.  The hospital where my bmx was done.  Lousy pain management.  Made me feel like I should be grateful that I was "lucky" and not complain about anything else.

 4.  My wonderful extremely skilled breast surgeon who LIED to me about how many lymph nodes were taken from my body.  See item 2 that was done to prevent needless nodes being taken out of my body.  I had to find out from pathology report that I now have 16 less nodes.  Oh...not one positive.  Just taken for no good reason.  Hello lymphadema.  So happy to now wear hot ugly sleeves.

5.  Stupid lady in oncology floor that asks for my copay before saying how are you?  They have gotten over 100K so far this year and must make sure to get my $25.00 copay.

 6. Rude stupid comments people make. 

I'm sure I will find more things to gripe about. 

 Almost forgot.  My lovely PS that I really like who thinks tylenol 3 is all I need to combat DIEP and radical mastectomy.  I wish for him equal pain just so he knows what I have been forced to deal with.

How awful, grt42btexan, you have been through it....my heart goes out to you.

It is so horrible that so called medical professionals like that are out there and can be so horrible at a time

when you need compassion most.   I think I'd be looking for new providers, if it's possible.

I hope you can get some relief and I hope your DH will come around for you.

Peace to you 

Oh, I have to add my some of my quiet raging moments.

  1.  My good friend who said 'at least it's the sexy cancer'. What!!!!!!!

  2.  A breast surgeon I saw recently, almost two years after cancer diagnosis, says I should  be on Tamoxifen because I seem to be 'over sensitive'.

  3.  An old friend who sent me an email saying 'I hear you've had a challenging year' after hearing I had breast cancer. Didn't even call me.

  4.  A close friend who said 'maybe it's a good time to look at why you gave yourself cancer'. THAT WAS THE WORST ONE. I was so stunned I went dumb. Haven't seen him since then but am so looking forward to telling him what a BASTARD thing that was to say.

Thank you Celine, for this post. A little rant goes a long way

Lindylounz,

 I have true rage at the radiologist that did my sentinel node biopsy.  See posting on that.  I went to the pain management board at my hospital and they said not all women felt pain so no need for meds.  Seriously, I cannot stand them. 

last night had a meltdown in bed, looked over at DH, he was weeping... won't get over that one for awhile

Drains suck - but my 11yo cheered me up "Mummy's got noodles full of boob juice".

I would like to contribute the following:

1. My VA PCP: a) told me with a smile, "good thing it hurts that means it's not breast cancer!" WHAT???? b) was so embarrassed when he was trying to do a breast exam on me that he was hesitant to touch my breast. He touched as if it were a soap bubble that he didn't want to burst. His reaction to my naked breast was so ridiculous that both the nurse and I rolled our eyes. REALLY? SERIOUSLY??? You're a freaking doctor for cripes sakes! Haven't you seen boobs before? Good gosh!

2. The horrible mean woman at the VA who's job it is to process referrals who called and yelled at me (literally yelled) for making my own mammo/us appointment. She told me that I had to call and cancel it because she had 90 people to process before me so I had to wait my turn till she gets to my paperwork. IS SHE FREAKING NUTS? NO, Im not canceling. You stupid woman, if you called me and you're holding my paperwork in your hand then do your f*cking job. (BTW: I didn't make that appt my previous civilian PCP's wonderful staff was on the ball and saw that it was time for my 6 month follow-up and went ahead and did the referral because they didn't know that I had recently lost my insurance and had to start using the VA for medical care. So when I got the call to schedule the appt I assumed that it was because of the VA referral - boy was I WRONG).

3. The HORRIBLE radiologist who refused to ultrasound the lump on my chest between the breasts and the lump below the collar bone because it wasn't listed on the diagnostic order to do that. When I asked to speak with him, this clearly irked him because he told me that "if we were in Canada, you would not be allowed to talk to me and that as soon as the Obamacare plan kicks in this will get even worse." WTF??? What in the Hell does any of that have to do with me and my lumps today??? Zero. Zip. Zilch. How ludicrous.

Lord please help me to survive all the crazy, stupid, lazy people. There should be an island reserved just for these folks and it MUST BE SURROUNDED BY SHARKS!!!

Rant off.
Thank you. Thank you very much. (in my best Elvis voice).

Tazzy,



His comments made me so mad that I posted his remarks on the Ontario get together thread to get Canadian response and some facts because I intend to shove those responses up his (you know what). Ok, well, not literally, but I am reporting him and correcting his misinformation. The ladies on that thread are being very helpful. So kind of them.



I love this thread! I've been needing to Rant a lot lately. : )

I'm keeping this thread in my favorites.

Okay, I'll give it a go. 

I spent the first almost 2 weeks waiting for biopsy results, that is after my onc told me he was convinced I had cancer. I finally got a call that the BC is er and pr positive, but still waiting on the her2. My husband is getting better but was convinced that I wasn't being positive enough, that the onc could be wrong. He wasn't. I had an appointment last week that was supposed to give me answers but none of the path was in, so my onc and I sat there and kind of stared at each other. I sit in the waiting room and every time I see another bald and emaciated person I am enraged and my heart gets ripped out of my chest.

I f%#%&^g hate cancer. It feels like I have a massive funnel cloud floating over my head just waiting for the right moment to suck me into it... I'm pissed off at everything. I have had more alcohol in the last three weeks than in the last year. I can't fall asleep at night because all I think about is BC, "what if its in my nodes!, what if they tell me I have that BRCA gene, OMG, what if what if what if what if.

This is the worst experience of my life. Thank God, my husband has finally accepted my diagnosis, but who now feels like he has to envelop my world and touch every inch of my body when all I want is to be left alone, for him to wait for me to ask for his touch. My sisters have been amazing and my fb friends are... well, some are around, most don't want to bring it up.

This experience has already changed me, I will never be the same Kim, the one I've known my entire life and I will always wonder, after the cancer is gone and I survive, when it will come back~ 

BTW, my rant is nothing compared to some of them, but forgot to metion that my husband has Lyme disease, even though hes had 2 tests come back negative and did a full 3 wk course of antibiotics, called his doctor in the midst of my own crap to request they give him another course, she said; "No, sorry, going to have to refer him to a dermatologist" even though everyone knowssssssssssssssssssss that lyme can take several courses of antibiotics to clear it up and if it doesn't clear up leads to debiliating health problems, and in some more extreme cases; Death. WTH 

Rant on, sister! You absolutely deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. You deserve to be heard and have your concerns and fears validated.

RANT ON....



Only so much of this shit I can take!



Blood Pressure: 154/90

Normally: 100/60. Oh, but that's a normal blood pressure. We don't worry until its way higher. Your fine.

Breast cancer doesn't hurt. Take some Motrin.

I can use the ultrasound to aspirated the lump if you want but we just through away what comes out of it. We don't send it for pathology because most of the time it's b9 anyway.

Since cancer grows slowly, you'll be fine to wait another 6 months. We don't think it's cancer anyway.

We don't refer for breast MRIs because they show too much stuff. End up bio paying for nothing most of the time and dense breasts are not a good reason to get such an expensive procedure.

Refer you to a VA Breast Cinic? Didn't even know we had such a thing. We can't refer you there because we don't know how. You can call us back every Friday to see if we figured out how to do it.



There is a common phrase for postal worker wo lose their minds: Going Postal

How about: Going Wacky Breast Pain



RANT OFF