The Journey Goes On: Beginnings and Endings

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CoyoteNV
CoyoteNV Member Posts: 575
edited June 2014 in Triple-Negative Breast Cancer

Hello, This not the first post I have entered here, but my first "Topic" to introduce me as a new sister. I live in a small community in Nevada where the nearest medical facility that can deal with BC is an hour and half away. There is way too much cancer in this town with enough tragedy to inspire the Greek poets.  I found out for certain today that my IDC is TN.  In my heart I knew it. I think I have read 1000's of articles and posts since I first found the lump on July 4th.   Surgery is scheduled for August 23.  But there is time for all of that....

As I was on my long drive for a consultation about radiation therapy, I received a call from a friend, who has had a many year battle with leukemia.  She called to tell me that another friend's 3 year fight with lung cancer ended in the dark hours of this morning.  I'm struck by the realization that as I begin this journey, this kind and lovely hearted woman ended hers.  

Thank you for...just thank you.

J.

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  • Luah
    Luah Member Posts: 1,541
    edited August 2012

    coyote: what I found is that: once you have cancer you become some sensitized to every other person on a similar journey. It can be a comfort sharing the experience, but at the same, a sorrowful ache. Sorry about your friend(s). Sorry about your TN diagnosis, but you will get through it! Hugs to you.  

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  • LRM216
    LRM216 Member Posts: 2,115
    edited August 2012

    Coyote:

    One thing I can promise you on this journey none of us ever expected or wanted to be on, is that you will never be alone.  We are here for you 24/7.  As you begin your treatments, a truly frightening experience that we all share, you will have many arms to comfort you and many hands to hold yours, whenever you need us.  I could not have gotten through all this without the wonderful sisters on the "Calling all TN's" thread.  I don't post as much as I used to, but I read all the new posts every night.  Kind of turned it over to all the newbies that are always joining, but always post when I feel I have something to add to someone's questions or fears. 

    I will always "pay it forward" as long as I have life and breath left in me, as I too remember my beginning treatment and all the fear and trepidation I felt, and how good I felt when someone else that walked this path before me came back on years later to tell me there is hope and that I will get through whatever I have to endure, and live my life again. 

    Everything in our lives changes instantly with our diagnose as we truly lose our innocence when we are told we have BC.  I'd be lying if I said that I don't still have fear of this beast coming back, but it's not a constant swinging sword that hangs over my head on a daily basis.  We are here for you, and I wish you an easy journey.

    Linda 

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  • LuvRVing
    LuvRVing Member Posts: 4,516
    edited August 2012

    J - sorry you have had to join us and I second everything that Linda and Luah have written.  A very good friend of mine lost her 20 year old son (yes, just 20 and never smoked) to lung cancer on Tuesday and it has really affected me.  I think I can say I know how you feel. 

    Please join in the conversations here - it is truly a wonderful place to get support and make lasting friendships.

    Hugs,

    Michelle

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  • CoyoteNV
    CoyoteNV Member Posts: 575
    edited August 2012

    Thank you for your supportive messages.  I'd have a nose a foot long if I said I was not frightened to my core. Tomorrow I am scheduled for a PET scan (and will not know the results until next week) and a pre-op visit with the surgical onc and then with the plastic surgeon. They moved my surgery from the 23rd to the 21st.  My current nightmere is that the PET finds something, because it will determine if I can even get to have the cancer removed.  The MO, whom I saw yesterday, said that it is an early cancer with no palpable sign of lymph node involvement and he believes they will find no spread of the cancer. For some reason that has not given me the encouragement he intended it too.  This whole thing has all been so fast. It reminds me of the television show "Project Runway". "One day you are in, and the next day you are out." But conversely, it has been the longest six weeks of my life.  I know that I am not alone in this. There are way too many women who are on the same unfortunate journey. I want to be strong and not lean too heavily on anyone, but it is so very hard right now.  TY for the hug - It is most certainly returned.  J

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