My first BC support group meeting

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wrsmith2x
wrsmith2x Member Posts: 410
edited June 2014 in Triple-Negative Breast Cancer
I'm not sure what I expected when I attended my first breast cancer support group but I don't think that was it. I did like the devotional and the opening prayer. I did like meeting new people that have been, or are going, through the same things I have been through. I did like the lady in the back of the room that smiled the entire time as she updated the group on her Stage IV diagnosis and that even though she just started getting her hair back it will be gone again soon as she starts her 3rd set of chemo. She inspired me.
Do you sense a "but" coming? While everyone was nice I felt like most of the ladies were there to discuss the upcoming banquet and BC conference and yard sale. It seemed if you weren't going through treatment then you didn't speak. And no one spoke of how they were feeling, handling things (other than the physical demands of chemo), how their spouses are handling things, etc.
Where's the emotional support? I could get what they had going on at any group meeting where fundraising is discussed. It saddened me that there were 18-20 women in the room there was no support. I take that back......when someone mentioned that they had a scan coming up and they were anxious about it the moderator told everyone to pray for her.
I don't know if I will go back again or not. I do know that I'd like to go to a support group meeting where I can feel the emotional support and not all the fundraising.
Just my 2 cents.
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  • Luah
    Luah Member Posts: 1,541
    edited August 2012

    Wrsmith2x, I hear ya! Emotional support is the most important, imo. And I know, for me, prayer wouldn't cut it. I'm just not a religious person at all.

    No offence to anyone who draws strength from prayer in their personal lives or their church communities (that's all good), but I would be pretty upset if that's what I walked into in a BC support group. 

    As for the fund-raising, yeah, geeesh! 

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  • profbee
    profbee Member Posts: 858
    edited August 2012

    I went to one in person right after my chemo ended.  I was 39 and terrified.  I was the youngest in the room by at least 20 years (which would have been FINE), but BC was pretty much a distant memory for all of them.  It was practically a lymphedema support group.  Then, the moderator started interrogating me b/c I was the first new person they'd seen in a long time.  I never went back.  THIS is my support group!  :) 

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  • FilterLady
    FilterLady Member Posts: 407
    edited August 2012

    My DH and I attended our first bc support group, Careousel, 4 days after my diagnosis.

    I gotta say, those ladies have been my rocks!  There are about 4 other husbands who attend with their wives.

    We have a program each meeting except in December, when we have our Christmas party.  We go around the room and give praise reports and if we have someone new, we state our names and whatever other info we'd like to give.

    The facilitators of our group are a breast surgeon and a nurse practitioner who are a blessing to be around.  During that first meeting, I realized that I was the only woman there who had only had a lumpectomy, everyone else had had a mastectomy.  I've been blessed by making new friends and my DH feels so comfortable being there with me.

    We missed last months meeting since we were on vacay and are looking forward to this months meeting.

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  • C-squared
    C-squared Member Posts: 514
    edited August 2012

    wrsmith~ First, let me compliment your Avatar.., you look great! (& hoping you feel as well)!  IMHO, you have found your support group here at bco.org.  There are SO many discussions happening and I'm confident that any topic you're interested in, you can find.  I'm guessing you may be looking for the personal interaction (admirable).., and the good news is that many of the women have created groups geographically and schedule get-togethers.  Perhaps that's something you can do a SEARCH for and see if there are others from the NC area.   

    I wish you all the best.., comfort and caring! I'd be happy to "chat" with you anytime!  Smile

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  • momof3boys
    momof3boys Member Posts: 896
    edited August 2012

    In addition to BCO, the best support group by far is the private Facebook group a bunch of us that were going thru chemo formed in December. We talk everyday, about everything.....

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  • wrsmith2x
    wrsmith2x Member Posts: 410
    edited August 2012

    Yes, I guess I was  looking for something more physically close to me....I have friends and my husband is very supportive but no one knows like the people that have been through it.   I will throw it out to Raleigh, NC and see if anyone is close to me.  

    As always, thank you so much for your kind words.  I don't know what I would have done without this place....so many times. 

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  • momof3boys
    momof3boys Member Posts: 896
    edited August 2012

    Just thought of this....my treatment center (chemo & radiation) has a physical therapy program and gym (free) for their BC patients. It's great getting together with other BC women to discuss everything, and we go out about once a month to dinner. Maybe check your center, or with your mo to see if they have or know of something similar? I just learned that one of our local pilates centers offers free classes for BC women. I bet those women get together outside of class too?

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  • momof3boys
    momof3boys Member Posts: 896
    edited August 2012

    Kayb- I agree! We're all different ages, shapes, stages, etc....but, there's a lot of laughter going on. Makes my 90 min session feel like about 15 min!

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