Questions and no answers

Hi:
I am new to this board as of today. I am having to make some really hard decisions and would like to ask if someone here can share their experiences with me. I think that with more information and bouncing things off of other women it will be easier to make decisions.

I will be 53 in October. I went in for my annual exam and was sent for a mammogram as I have only had one other when I was 50. I almost feel like compared to the stories I have read here that I don't have a story and yet I feel deeply scared and looking for answers. So I will continue with my story. A few days after the mammogram they called and wanted me to come in for more imaging,

So I went in they did more imaging and then had a radiologist look at the films. I knew something was wrong when instead of just telling me ok, it all look good you can go...The tech told me that the radiologist would talk to me now.. took me into an exam room and then closed the blinds. So the radiologist tells me that they found some calcifications that had changed since my last mammogram and were odd looking and clustered and felt I should have a needle biopsy to determine what was happening there. Ok now I am freaked. My sister died of breast cancer in 2003 at the age of 48. She had invasive ductal carcinoma which spread like wild fire into bone cancer and was in her lymph before they found it. She suffered a living hell for two years before she lost the battle. So this is on my mind. How could it not be seeing the closest friend a little girl grows up with experience this.

I went in for the biopsy and they told me that 80% chance that it was just benign and nothing to worry about. 4 days later my doctor called and told me that they had found lobular carcinoma in situ. She said this is the best bad news I could give you if you had to get bad news. Then she referred me to a breast surgeon.

So with my dear sweet wonderful husband holding my hand, off we went together to the appointment today. We have been married a year and ½. Him having been widowed 3 ½ years ago and I and my daughters abandon by their father 5 years ago. And truly this husband of mine is the love of my life and I his. Why it took us 50 years to find each other I don't know, but we couldn't be happier.

So they tell me that I don't really have cancer... YET

The surgeon wants me to get a more extensive biopsy to check out the cells surrounding the LCIS. And she wants me to take tamoxifen and then closely monitor my breast with a yearly mammogram and a yearly MRI.

Other option preventive (prophylactic) mastectomy.

She told me if I am going to go with the mastectomy then forget the biopsy as it will make the reconstruction harder to do.

So how does a woman make a decision like this? I look at my breast and sometimes they feel like ticking time bombs. and other times I am thinking what would it be like to have implants. How would it look and feel to me and also to my husband? He is very supportive of me and says he will be regardless of what decision I make here. I already knew this before he opened his mouth but it was nice to hear the words

Does anyone here have opinions on the safety of tamoxifen? If you read very far on the internet it scares you. Increase risk of heart attack and stoke, eye problems and uterine cancer. My mom's side of the family has a history of heart problems. Meaning my mom, grandmother and great grandmother all were having issues with heart disease. So it seems foolish to take something that is suppose to take a way one risk but adds a different one. My surgeon says that it is perfectly safe to take for women my age.. they find the side effect in older women.. But I just feel so unsure about taking it.

Then there are all the issues of mastectomy. How do husbands really feel about having a wife that no longer has natural breasts? I mean if there is invasive cancer the of course this is the logical decision to be made, but I am not at that place in life... Just at high risk to be. Could anyone share their experience here? What do implants feel like for the woman and also to a man? How do they affect your sexuality and do they affect your intimate relations one way or the other. My husband is a good man.. But I keep feeling that of course he is going to say what he thinks he should, and he may even really think he feels this way. But he doesn't have any idea what implanted breasts are like and how it would be for me to have these.
Does anyone know of a resource where I can learn more about the process of mastectomy and reconstruction? I am thinking about would I have nasty scares. Do they need to have maintenance and if so what kind. Do they eventually become "your own" like you don't even think about them being different then what you were born with? Are they soft like real ones and do they move like real breasts? Are those of you with implants happy with them? Are you regretting having them?

Any one that can give me input on any of my questions.. I will greatly and respectably be thankful