anyone starting chemo in Nov 2005

How are all of my November friends? I miss hearing from you here.

I usually don't need much invitation to open my big mouth- so here is what I have been up to:

Recovering from ooph and gall bladder sx Friday. Feels good, doesn't hurt to laugh anymore, but it still hurts to cough. Surgeon gave me rattling plastic container at my post-op appt. It was my gallstones (4, pinto bean size)-yuck!

Had a lot of good medical news lately: normal PAP, ovaries not cancerous, thyroid not-cancerous, echocardiogram looks good (on herceptin, monitoring the ejection fraction), rad onc said all my skin looks well healed.

I have big medical news pending: first ever tumor marker test, first bone density test, first PET scan all coming in next few weeks. Trying not to be nervous. My onc says there is no reason to think anything is going to turn up. But we don't have proof of that yet!

Traveling to Bay Area for more reconstruction consults in 2 weeks.

Still waiting for eyebrows and eyelashes. Both are 75% gone. But I do have over an inch of hair- it is almost cute. Dyed it strawberry blond. My only other chemo reminder is my nails are still weak and ugly- nail polish for awhile.

Hope all of you are doing well, especially our brave friends on extended chemo.

Are you going for the ooph Odalys?

Hi everyone,
Kim-I'm at least happy to hear that things are underway. I bet it is frustrating to be told something like they are 100% confident. I've learned that in my own simple "newbie" way as a breast cancer warrior. "We are confident you'll only need chemo through February!" HA! I'm going to be in chemo FOREVER!

Actually, I had treatment yesterday, and my oncologist (who seems to forget things he has said) said that I will have 3 more. I reminded him the message his nurse gave me (3 treatments, doctor appointment to determine if I need a 4th), and he looked at me blankly. I'm really freaked because all I keep thinking about were his initial words "it's best for your prognosis if we get the tumor down to nothing..." and now he's like, "You've had a lot of chemo, we need to get you out of here!" He makes it sound so...I don't know...like it's not a big deal!

I also had to insist I see him yesterday because I was scheduled for an appointment but they screwed up the schedule. Anyway, I had been having UNBEARABLE pain right underneath my breast. It was sore and tender to the touch. Of course it just sort of hurt when he looked at it, but to appease me, I get a bone scan on Monday. Yet another reason cancer SUCKS, because my son has a big doctor appointment with the CP specialist the same time, and I have to miss it! GRR!! Happy news about my son....he is SO close to talking now! For the longest time everything was "Da da," then I finally became, "Ma" then "Mama," His first word was "Baba" for his binky. Now he says "Nana" for banana!! I'm so proud! Speech therapy is working!

I am getting really nervous....they are in the works of scheduling surgery for me!!!!!!!!!! OMG.

Can you tell I had Decadron?!?!? Holy smokes!
Gotta go shower. I love you all!
Love and prayers, Debbie

Kim, I hope everything goes well for you.

Debbie, sorry to hear you are in pain. I hope you get relief.

I posted before the site problems about my oncologist office issues. Better not repeat myself. I just don't know what to do. I used to get anxious about my Monday chemo treatments on Sundays. Now I am starting on Friday. I can't sleep I'm so anxious. I have no idea which totally incomeptent tech will be stabbing me in the port area just to practice accessing ports this time. I figure it's either change oncologists or shut up. Changing oncologists at this stage fills me with dread, but which dread is worse? The nurse I have had for the past three months is leaving at the end of May, she was my third nurse. Then I'll get the 22 year-old who has always had to stick me two to three times to get into the port. I feel like giving up.

Sorry, I had to get this out somewhere. My husband just freaks out when I talk about this because he can't get himself out of the "solve everything" mode, and this is something he just can't solve.

Anna

Anna, do you take any Ativan before you go in for treatment? I always take one because I get really panicked beforehand, too. It doesn't make the panic go away, but it sure does calm me. I can't imagine having someone different each time to access the port. I have been lucky enough to have the same nurse (all but one time) and she knows exactly how temperamental my port is, and can access it right away. She knows that I have to talk incessantly while she accesses it or else I get light-headed!
All I can say, Anna, is PLEASE don't give up! We've all gotten this far...don't lose hope yet. If it helps your sanity, then maybe you should change oncologists. I think comfort with whomever treats you is a huge part of the whole treatment process, isn't it?

Kim-I'll be praying for your scans on Monday! I have to be there at 7:30am! Yick!

I have to tell you all...I am so excited...I bought about 30 breast cancer bracelets from a store that was going out of business. I emailed my friends and family about them, and they have been donating money to me for a bracelet, and I am going to donate a huge amount to breast cancer research! So far I've sold 18 bracelets. I'm just so excited to be doing something to fight this SUCKY disease. I just want to sell the rest, so my donation can be even larger.

Anyway, time to go fill 5 prescriptions at Kmart!
Love and prayers, Debbie

Anna - I feel for you, every time I went in for chemo I had a different nurse. They would always struggle to find my port and most times I had to put up with several sticks before they were successful. Ay what an ordeal!!!!! It got to be so bad, I would go in and then have to explain to them that my port was difficult to access so they would send in an experience nurse. Twice I asked for one nurse who was good at accessing the port. They told me I could not select a nurse but she could access the port for the nurse that was taking care of me. That worked for me. Even now it's still a struggle every time they have to flush it. I can't wait to have it taken out.

Please keep hanging in there and don't give up. God knows you are struggling and he won't abandon you.

MaryLou - Did you start RADS? How is it going?
BTW- I am also stage III with 4 positive nodes. Honestly, I try not to think about what stage I am, instead I choose to keep fighting. I refuse to waist any precious time worrying about the what if's. Cancer has already taken away so much it will not rob me of my future.

Hi Kaye,
Glad to hear you are doing better and the medications are controlling your pain. I get so happy every time I see you post. Thanks for sharing about your friend. It's amazing how strong the human spirit can be. It just goes to show we can still enjoy life in spite of this bc dx and doctors can't really predict our future.

Take care, love and hugs...

Anna is your port in deep? Mine is and that is part of the problem. The first nurse who tried to access it kept sticking me and pressing on my chest with a 1/2 inch needle to the point were she almost sat on top of me. It was so painful that by the second try I screamed in pain. Immediately, I had four other nurses around me. I later learned that the only way to access the port is with a 1 1/2 inch needle! After that experience, I always tell them to use the larger needle. I have a very high tolerance for pain so much so that I was able to give birth without any anesthesia. But this experience has traumatized me forever. Half way through the treatment I found a very gently nurse and I would request her. God I hated those treatments. There was always so much anxiety just thinking what would happen if she wasn't there.

See if you can find a gentle nurse that can access the port without much pain/distress. If you do, negotiate with them. Ask if she can access the port for the other nurse who will deliver the meds. It's worth a try. Remember you are in control of your care and there is no need to have to suffer more than the necessary.

Please hang in there. May God help you and bless you with a gentle nurse. Take care. Sending lots of love and gentle hugs your way.

Oh, Anna - you are not giving in you are just accepting the medicine you need to get you through. It's a sign of strength not weekness. Would you consider a person who receives high blood pressure medicine as giving in? Hope you feel better soon.
Take care my friend.

I like hearing about clean bone scans.

I wouldn't have known what that meant just one year ago, but now it makes for a very good start to a new day, hearing our Debbie tell us her good news.

Anna

Hip Hip Hooray for Deb!!! I have been thinking of you all alot. Hope everyone is having a good week.

Odalys- haven't missed the ovaries yet.

I was on Tamox for 3 weeks and I switched to Arimidex a week ago. The side effects have been very minimal. I had a lot more hot flashes on chemo. I think my body is so greatful to be off chemo that it isn't sweating, literally, the hormone suppression and ovary loss. Hope all of on the same path experience the same.

My good news is my heart ejection fraction is 70 and my tumor markers is 14 , I guess these numbers are good, bone density is normal and my ovaries had no pathology.

Hope rads are going well Odalys,

Margerie

WooHoo Deb, I am so happy for you. That is wonderful news.

Margerie, great news about the tumor markers and heart fraction.

Odalys, keep going with the rads. I'll be joining you soon with them.

Saw the oncologist today. Because of a big mixup with me leaving a CD of my latest scan with the radiologist yesterday there was no comparision report done. Arg!! Anyway the onc. had the written report and he doesn't see anything major as far as growth. I guess that is positive. He will get a better picture tomorrow when he sees the comparision report. SO I am staying on the Xeloda and having the radiation simulation tomorrow.

Deb, the box is on its way to you!! THis was a lot of fun.

Kim

Yay! The box is on the way to me!!
I have been listing stuff on ebay like crazy and NEED to go to sleep.
Love and hugs to all!
Love and prayers, Debbie

I'm having allot of trouble posting and I can't see the pictures beside your post. What is up with this site? Before I type to much I'm going to test this first.

Wow , it has just been so bad on these boards. I post and then it goes into space.

Here is an update : I have had 8 rads so far. I seem to be having allot of headaches and just don't feel well at all..

May be the stress of it all. My Dr changed my antidepressant, the other one was making me eat myself silly.

I'm going to start the new one , Cymbalta , that is on TV now. Where they say "where does depression hurt?"

He is letting me use it for the Neuropathy pain and depression at the same time. My girlfriend started taking it for her MS.

She had such pain that she could hardly walk. Now she is almost free of pain. Her MS has gotten worse in the last year.

I will pick it up at his office in the morning. I have not taken anything for 2 weeks. Boy can I tell. The water works and stupid thoughts have just flooded me. Lost grips in the Rads dept the other day. There was a pt. that was really sick, and I just couldn't keep myself from crying.

Not that the antidepressant makes me have no feeling, it just keeps me from becoming a basket case right there in front of God and everybody.

I'm praying for us all to get through all we have to face. Good to here some good news , and still praying for those of us still going through Hell.

My Neuropathy is still about the same. I still can't stay on my feet for very long. I sure hope the Cymbalta works. My fingers are so stiff. And the pain in my hip and legs is really getting to me. Will this ever be over ????

I really hate to fuss. I just was hoping to feel better by now. And I see so many that are worse off than me, I really need to thank my lucky stars. Wow, I guess the antidepressant really did make more of a difference than I thought.

Thanks for being here for me, I really don't know what I would do with out my sisterhood.

PS. I had guest for a week and Michael was on vacation too. Then the boards went nuts, that is why I was so long getting on to post. Oh I forgot, Michael cut the cord to the cable, so we had no web for 3 days

It's a wonder I didn't have a stroke ~~~~~~~~~~~

Love you all
ML