Trying to Have a Conversation That's Not About BC

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tina_jason
tina_jason Member Posts: 147
edited June 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

I was on a much needed date night with my husband a few days ago and realized that the only thing I could think to talk to him about was my BC.  I tried so hard to think of other things to talk about but it just seemed like everything kept coming back to treatments and side effects.  I notice this when I talk to my BFF too and I told her I feel so selfish sometimes but she said she hadn't even noticed and that I was entitled to talk about it.  I don't want people to get sick of hearing me talk about it, but the reality is that BC consumes my life.  I hate that it is like that but I don't know how else to be.  Can anyone relate to this?  Does it get better?  At what point does life get "normal" again or this "new normal" that people keep talking about?

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  • CSMommy
    CSMommy Member Posts: 95
    edited July 2012

    Oh, I can so relate to this. It's just all-consuming. I dread that I ruin many of my family or friend's days because I feel like this is all I can talk about.



    And then I get sick of it myself, because it seems like it's the forefront of every conversation with everyone - I can't seem to get away from it. I go to work with the intention of getting my mind off of this...yet it seems like someone is always wanting to talk about it. I crave my old get-togethers with my girlfriends where we would talk about our families and kids; now, we talk about my next treatment, or what side effects I'm dealing with.



    It has to get better, right?



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  • tina_jason
    tina_jason Member Posts: 147
    edited July 2012

    I'm glad I'm not alone in this.  Yes, I think it has to get better.  I'm just wondering when.  Even when I'm not talking about it I'm thinking about it!!!

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  • CSMommy
    CSMommy Member Posts: 95
    edited July 2012

    Or when you find yourself with a couple of free moments on the Internet.....and you choose to google something cancer related! Oh, I get so upset with myself when I do that. I have even started to force myself to peruse Pinterest so I can get my mind off it this sometimes.

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  • Linda1966
    Linda1966 Member Posts: 633
    edited July 2012

    In my experience, the first few times you meet up with friends after youve finished chemo, you have to answer all the questions, tell them chemo wasnt as bad as you thought it would be (so you dont discourage any of them if they are faced with chemo in the future) make sure you slip in that all women should be getting regular mammo's and how lucky you were it was caught early (earlyish). Once youve navigated that a few times, the questions get less and less and suddenly all they do is ask how you are, you tell them fine and its onto other things. If it doesnt, just tell them your life has revolved around cancer for months and you need a break from it and ask if yo can talk about something else.

    Your all still doing chemo or recently finished from what I can tell from your stats. Of course its on your mind non stop. Give it some time after chemo (for a while your just grateful chemo is finished and you can't believe you made it through lol) then you worry about your hair returning and losing any weight you gained during chemo, then you worry about the hormonal's and if your going to get s/e's sigh. Having said all that, believe it or not, it does get better. Id say  within a few months of chemo finishing, once you start feeling more like yourself, you'll be able to go out and after the initial "How are you's" the cancer talk will be well behind you and you can live a normal social life again.

    Thats my experience anyway ladies, and I hope you all can get through this time smoothly.

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  • tina_jason
    tina_jason Member Posts: 147
    edited July 2012

    Thanks Lynda.  Your post was reassuring!

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