Having double mastectomy and considering no reconstruction

mizkitty
mizkitty Member Posts: 8

Hello everyone! :)  My name is Vanessa. I have had pain in my breasts from cystic fibroids in my breasts that are 4.2cm and larger. I aslso have family history and over 20 CT Scans from my pulmonary embolism. The doctor told me I was a canidate for surgery. To be honest I have been waiting to hear those words for the past couple years. I am hurting so much and I also do not want to chance cancer. As I have watched family suffer. Here is the dilema, I dont want breast reconstruction but feel so forced into doing it. I am 33 years old and single, the advice of everyone is that I will not meet anyone without breasts. This troubles me greatly because I am secure (I feel) to not have any breasts, after all it is the person inside that makes us who we are right? I have a blood clotting disease and dont want to risk the chance of clots. The mastectomy alone is a risk. Secondly I dont want the chance of the reconstruction going wrong. I had a biopsy last week and I will be in surgery this week on the 11th. It is all happening so fast and the only thing I can say is I am ok with the mastectomy but not reconstruction. I just want to know if anyone feels the same way...need some support...

Thank You :)

Comments

  • jacee
    jacee Member Posts: 1,384
    edited July 2012

    Mizkitty....while I did choose to have bilateral DIEP reconstruction, mine was delayed for 15 months after my mastectomy. If you change your mind,you can always do it at a later date. I don't think you are making a mistake by not doing it now. You have a lot on your plate right now. And you may feel just fine without breasts. Do what is best for you, and just realize you have options if you decide differently later. Good luck with your surgery this week.

  • Jo5
    Jo5 Member Posts: 18
    edited July 2012

    Mizkitty



    I had a bmx no recon jan 2012. Listen to you... Everyone wanted me to recon .i listened to me an have no regrets about my decision. The choice is yours ...your breasts are not what makes you beautiful ever. There are other women on this blog that are your age that made no recon choices but that doesnt tell you whats right for you. Get professional but make it your decision. Breastfree.org is also a good site for info

  • Stormynyte
    Stormynyte Member Posts: 650
    edited July 2012

    Hi Vanessa, so sorry you had to join us here, but glad you found us. This is a great place for information and support from others in the same boat.

    I had a mastectomy on the right side only with no recon a little over a month ago. Mostly for the reasons you listed. I don't want more surgery. I've read way to many stories about recon failing and having to be removed anyway. I went with the thought that it's only a boob, I don't need it, so why bother with all that when I can just skip it and be done.

    I'm only 37 but I'm married, so the worry of finding someone while I only had one boob wasn't a problem, but I was so very worried about how my hubby was going to see me after. Happy to say, no problems there. :) He says he loves me, boobs or not and from the way he acts, I can't argue with it. Any man worth being with will see that you are great no matter what. If they don't you didn't want that jackass anyway right? The right guy wont care if you have them or not.

    I also felt like the doctors and other staff were trying to force me to do recon. I had to get mad and tell them to lay off, I wasn't going to do it before they would accept my decision. 

    Now that it's over, I do miss my boob. It's getting better, but sometimes I wonder if I made the wrong choice, even tho I know I didn't.

    This is such a hard choice, but the one thing I kept in mind that helped me with this was that I can always do it later if I change my mind. I don't think I will, but it is a comforting thought for me. 

    *Hugs*

  • Moonflwr912
    Moonflwr912 Member Posts: 6,856
    edited July 2012

    Hi, Vanessa, sorry you are here, but happy to meet you. There is a forum for MX (mastectomy) without reconstruction. There are lots of threads to get lots of info to help you support your decision. Go to all topics and you will find it. Good luck.

  • coraleliz
    coraleliz Member Posts: 1,523
    edited July 2012

    Vanessa-You can always postpone your surgery. It sounds like you are being rushed. Biopsy last week.....surgery on the 11th. I had bilateral cancer. From my biopsy to my bilateral mastectomy was about 5 weeks. I didn't reconstruct. No regrets. The reason for the delay in my surgery was, I was suppose to talk reconstruction with a plastic surgeon before making my decision(protocol-I think). I didn't keep the plastic surgeon appt(OK, I never scheduled one). I just called my surgeons office a couple of weeks later & told them I wasn't doing recon. Then I went skiing for a week. I couldn't get scheduled in until 5+ weeks after my diagnosis. Perhaps you should talk with a plastic surgeon if you are having doubts. I don't see the sense of urgency here. Good luck

  • mizkitty
    mizkitty Member Posts: 8
    edited July 2012

    Thank you so much everyone :) I really appreciate the response and support. I meet the plastic surgeon again today at 4:30...one thing I didn't do and will do today is speak to my hemotologist about the risk. Just don't understand why everyone is so hell bent on me having boobs. Will keep you updated again thank you...

  • Infobabe
    Infobabe Member Posts: 1,083
    edited July 2012

    mizkitty

    Fortunately, this is the one treatment decision with this disease that is reversible.  You can do it now, or later, or never.  You can even undo it later.

  • Houndmommy
    Houndmommy Member Posts: 377
    edited July 2012

    Don't rush the reconstruction if you aren't sure.  You can have it done at any time.  I had a unilateral mx with no reconstruction 2 years ago.  I chose not to have reconstruction because I just didn't want to go through more surgery.  I just want to feel good and get on with life.  I also know that I can get reconstruction at another time if I change my mind.  Good luck and don't let anyone pressure you into something you aren't ready for.

  • lisag46
    lisag46 Member Posts: 23
    edited July 2012

    You are beautiful with or without breasts! As far as meeting someone If they have a problem with your decision then they are not the right one for you. My husband of 13 years left me because of botched biopsies in both breast's a few years ago my boobs are very deformed. I met a man over a year ago who loves me as I am, and is supportive of whatever decision I make. Besides you can get the mastectomy bras in all sizes..... I have teased that I am going from one extreme to another with the bras after I have my double mastectomy. Keep your head up, and follow your heart! We are here for you.

  • GottaloveNED
    GottaloveNED Member Posts: 211
    edited July 2012

    I had a BMX and did not do any reconstruction. I had intended to do it at a later date but decided I liked being flat when I chose and wearing prothesis when I chose. I was single during the cancer "years" and still am, mainly by choice. By the time you get around to showing or discussing your boobs, hopefully any person you are dating would like you for you, not your boobs. Look how many women get by with padded or wonder bras. They're not as "advertised" either. I say make the decision you are comfortable with now. The advantage of being single right now is having the final say in your treatment decisions without thinking about what a partner thinks.

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