Roll Call - Acceptance of Diagnosis

Hmmm...how does one know if they've made peace with it?  Interesting thread.

I was diagnosed in October. Went through all active treatments, am currently on Aromasin, and being monitored. I feel like I have a good shot of this never coming back. However, lately I have been feeling, again, that I can't believe I got cancer! Still somewhat unreal. 

Goodie, it's a bit long.  I'll PM (private message, above) it to you.    Deanna

Shortly after diagnosis, I asked my oncologist when it would get easier to deal with. He said that in his experience, most people seem to do better around the two-year mark. I am almost there, and I would agree he is right. Now, when I get an ache, I do not automatically assume it is cancer recurrence. I think everything started to get easier once I passed that first year anniversary. I think the worst part (after the initial diagnosis) was the first couple months after active treatment ended. I think the reality of it really hit me then, and I was very frightened. Time has really helped with coming to accept it and moving forward.

Hmmm.... When do we accept it? I think it comes in steps. First you accept is cancer. Then you get your results and decide on your action plan and you accept that you have a particular cancer and you have a plan. Then you spend the time you are in treatment working towards your goal. Then it's all done, and for some, they get to go on with their regualrly scheduled lives. But then... for ones like me who started off at stage IV... I heard the diagnosis and thought I had accepted it pretty well until a radiation doctor ( not mine... a visiting physician who was helping out) basicaly said " you know, you have stage IV and you will never be cancer free, so having radiation is really up to you, but I can't recommend it. He had me ready to throw in the towel and accept that I was dying. Dumbass... he had the wrong pet scan results that he was looking at. My doctor saw the results, called me and said, we may not be cancer free, but we can make it a chronic condition. And that is something I can accept.  We each have that moment where we look at ourselves and say "I have Cancer... it does not have me." I hope everyone has that moment sooner rather than later. Be strong!

I'm down in the dumps now, need some encouragement. I was diagnosed in early Apr. Before being diagnosed, I was mentally prepared because of family history. When BS confirmed the diagnosis, it did not hit me hard, it was just another thing I need to get done. However, after 2 months of fighting the BS office to try to get a surgery date, I'm giving up. Losing power to the house since last Fri because of the freak storm in DC is not helping things. Woke up crying...  

Hmm, to answer your original question....never (for me). I think, and joked with my doctor, that it's my sheer hatred of cancer that has kept me going this long. Six years with mets and 17 years all together.

We all "accept" this dx in different ways and in different time frames. I had a brief honeymoon with Stage II and then zoomed to Stage IV. I have always been optimistic but pragmatic. I just told myself to learn as much as possible about my situation and then do what I have to do. I'm far from ready to accept and roll over but I am ready to accept and move forward. Take care, Caryn

Thanks for the blessings Barbie. I'll take what I can get...though, personally, God has nothing to do with it for me. I may be mistaken, but your screen name sounds familiar. I think we have communicated via pm. And you know what? My prognosis at initial diagnosis was seriously poor. I have no doubt you will get those seventeen years, plus many more. Stay vigilent....keep up with the latest news. Accept? maybe....give in?...never.

guineamom

 I feel for you.  Believe it or not, I had surgery all set up with a BS locally , but I could not tolerate her ' office person/nurse navigator". She stressed me so much, that I went to Boston for  a 2nd opinion and got my surgery done there .. and sooner !

I am not suggesting this for you because I sense your surgery is near, just saying sometimes these office people can make a bad situation worse.

Hang in there .

PLEASE consider googling to see if you have a local support group or call your DRs office and ask.  When my husband had cancer in 2009 , they were of great comfort to me.  Dont rule out an anti depressant either.

(((HUGS)))

Here's a saying that helped me:

"It is what it is. It becomes what you make it."