My "friend" sent me a hate filled email.

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My friend from college (30 years) got mad at me for not being a good friend (returning calls and supporting her). During her email from hell she told me that she has no sympathy for my cancer because I am overweight and that I am not fighting for my life. I was diagnosed four years ago with stage3 and did six TAC treatments and radiation. Her belief is that because I am 45 poiunds overweight the weight caused my cancer and thus did not merit her sympathy. She also said that I love being the victim and she is sick of it. I am in shock and do not want to be friends with her anymore. I spoke to my oncologist and she said weight can be one factor out of many and that if weight was a direct cause of breast cancer we would have alot more people with the disease. This so called friend actually suggested we take a break and speak again and try to be friends who "communicate" more. I am finished Ithink. Any ideas, comments or opinions? Oh yea, she thinks I am a victim because I had to leave my job due to side effects from the chemo(nuropothy and lymphodema). I am depressed due to my mom's death and the fact that I had to leave my job which I did like. Believe me, I am getting treatment with a psychologist and am fighting to break this depression. It is the first time I have ever been depressed and I want it to end. I feel so violated by her opinions.

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Comments

  • profbee
    profbee Member Posts: 858
    edited June 2012

    Zoh...my....god.  Seriously, this is exactly where the saying "with friends like these, who needs enemies" comes from!  Your former "friend" is an ass.  I'd never speak to her again.  I wouldn't even miss her.  And, I'd replace her with someone fabulous and supportive. 

    (I'm sorry--I know it can hurt to lose a friend, but this person is not good for you.)

     

  • geewhiz
    geewhiz Member Posts: 1,439
    edited June 2012

    This friendship no longer works for you. Maybe it did at some point. Not now. Walk away and don't look back. Friends make you feel good about yourself. Constructive criticism from dear friends is ok, but not negativity. I am so so sorry someone made you feel this way.

    Something like this happened to me. I had someone who at the worst time of my treatment, literally had flesh falling off from rads, verbally attacked me and my 10 year old daughter. She said I was a bad mom for going to the beach after chemo treatments. I struggled and nearly got hospitalized each time, but finally learned to recuperate at my sisters ocean front home and let my angel husband care for my kids. My onc was amazed at how I recovered so quickly each time I hit the beach. I didnt take kindly for being told I was a bad mom for trying to take care of myself. I was hurt beyond belief. We had been friends for a decade. I often wondered if it was her inability to deal with me having cancer. I didnt dwell on it. I walked away, never returning calls again. Her husband even called and apologized on her behalf.



    One thing I know for sure now...life is too short. Walk away proud of yourself. You deserve only the best!



    Hugs Hugs Hugs to you!!!

  • kltb04
    kltb04 Member Posts: 1,051
    edited June 2012

    I just read this quote on Facebook:



    "I don't chase after anyone anymore. If you want to walk out of my life, I will gladly hold the door open for you."



    Sounds like it applies here. This person sounds toxic to you and you don't need that in your life!

  • cheryl1946
    cheryl1946 Member Posts: 1,308
    edited June 2012

    I'd email her and say F**K OFF,BITCH.

    Then I'd block her email address so you never hear from her again.People like her are toxic,and you sure don't need her in your life.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2012

    I really cannot explain why people really pile it on when we're down ?  I've had it coming from all four corners.  What is it with people ? do they even deserve to be called humans ?

  • bedo
    bedo Member Posts: 1,866
    edited June 2012

    Email her what you said.  I had a family member who said I "played the victim" after being laid off, being diagnosed, fracturing my eyesocket which required surgery last summer all within 3 weeks. So I was sad.  I was not a victim.  She was, after putting up with 30 years of cr$p from a husband who was abusive, got 2 women pregnant was drunk all the time,  finally divorced her. She finally changed her SS # I also finally ended a situation at home when I turned 15 and was big enough and smacked a stepfather over the head with a golf trophy because he was constantly trying to beat us up.  It stopped.  I'm playing the victim?  Never have.  I think projection. And ignorance. And fear. And inability to cope on her part. Give her time.  People have different strengths.   People can only be who they are at that  time in their lives based on the skills that they have.  I am sorry that you are sad.

  • LittleMelons
    LittleMelons Member Posts: 273
    edited June 2012

    Your "friend" is going out of her way to be hurtful.  I would tell her that is how you perceive it, and anyone who would say those awful things is no friend.  I would not engage in any further conversation with her, just distance yourself from her.  You should not have deal with that kind of treatment.  It is disrespectful and mean.  Cut her off, unless her behaviour changes.  As others have said she is toxic.

  • susan_02143
    susan_02143 Member Posts: 7,209
    edited June 2012

    If she doesn't have an MD after her name, and a multi-year oncology residency on her resume, she has no clue why you got breast cancer. Cut her loose. Being mean is never a gesture of a friend.

    *susan* 

  • LtotheK
    LtotheK Member Posts: 2,095
    edited June 2012

    I think it's clear, your "friend" is a complete toad.  I think it's clear she should be shown the door, but that doesn't help all that haunting questioning that will go on in your head.  At least, it didn't for me.

    How could someone abandon me in the middle of the worst part of my treatment?  Especially after holding such a high bar for our friendship concerning her needs?  Was I a bad person, a bad friend? What I finally realized is, a lot of people have the capacity to be alarmingly selfish.  Cancer isn't about YOU, it's about THEM, their needs, feelings, fears, etc.  Even in my good friends, I hear weird vestiges of it ("Thank you for reminding me to be grateful for my health"; "I know I won't get what you have because I don't have family history"...as if my cancer is a special engraved message to quell their worries).

    The only reason people blame others for their illness is they want to convince themselves they can avoid it.  It's really that simple, and I saw it over and again.  Don't get me started with my European friends.  According to many of them, my stress and mental attitude are what caused my cancer. Again, they are just saying to themselves, "I'll never be that." 

    Bottom line, if people avoided at least a moron or two during treatment, they were LUCKY.  Nothing more.  What I really want to drive home is, it isn't something you did.  I'm thrilled some of us are lucky enough to avoid the people who let us down, but I didn't.

  • christina0001
    christina0001 Member Posts: 1,491
    edited June 2012

    ditto almost all of the above. That's not a friend.

  • purple32
    purple32 Member Posts: 3,188
    edited June 2012
    "I spoke to my oncologist and she said weight can be one factor out of many ..."

    Are you kidding?!  How dare she !  Let's PRETEND BC is caused from being overwight ( NOT/ plenty of thin ppl get it), is your fried perfect ?  Maybe she drinks occassionally or maybe too much, and that may contribute to an illness, perhaps she eats too many carbs which may contribute to metabolic syndrome or diabetes, maybe she doesnt exercise enough and will end up with heart disease.  More likely - perhaps she is hateful and angry and mean spirited and this kind of self-inflicted stress can lead to high cortisone levels and a host of illnesses ....or even 'bad karma'!

    Who would ever ever speak to a person like this again?

    PLEASE do not give her the satisfaction of another word coming from you.  Do not be hurt by this ..realize she is one sick puppy who is envious of a disease!
    Nutjob.
  • Stormynyte
    Stormynyte Member Posts: 650
    edited June 2012

    Wow, that was just..uncalled for. I'm so sorry. I agree with the others, cut her loose and be happy to be rid of her. No one deserves a "friend" like that.

  • blainejennifer
    blainejennifer Member Posts: 1,848
    edited June 2012

    Chiming in: It's time for a friend divorce!

  • steelrose
    steelrose Member Posts: 3,798
    edited June 2012

    Don't walk away from her... RUN! And don't look back. There is no time to waste on people like this. She is not your friend. I'm sorry that this happened to you.

    Sending love...

    Rose.

  • riley702
    riley702 Member Posts: 1,600
    edited June 2012

    Don't even devote enough of your energy to contact her or explain why you are kicking her out of your life. Just walk away. Delete e-mails unread. Do not answer phone calls from her (if you have caller ID - if not, just hang up as soon as you realize who it is). Trust me, she'll get it. Walk away and don't give her another thought. You need to concentrate on YOU now. (((hugs)))

  • Moonflwr912
    Moonflwr912 Member Posts: 6,856
    edited June 2012

    So NOT a friend. I am sorry a long term friendship came to this, but you did not ask for cancer! Who would. As for fighting for your life, what does she chemo is for? Why would we add poison to our bodies if we weren't fighting for our lives? It is, literally, a fight for our lives. Poison our bodies to the point of illness in the hope of killing the cancer that is trying to kill us. Geesh, I hope she never has to deal with this, I don't think she would strong enough to make it, because one thing BC teaches us is that you never know how the journey will go. Much love to you and may all your other friends prove to be real friends.

  • BarbaraJo50
    BarbaraJo50 Member Posts: 108
    edited June 2012

    I would be finished with her. Seems like she was trying to be mean. She certainly wasn't giving you the benefit of the doubt and holding back with her opinions. It will be hard because you are hurt, but you have to let her go.

    This affirmation might help...Say her name.....I release you to your highest good. The good of one is the good of all.

    It is putting positive energy out towards her; but the thoughts will help you more.

    This has helped me. I know the pain. I also lost a friend of 30 years...we raised our kids together. I am "Aunt Barbie" to her daughter. I think she could not handle the cancer in MY body. Weird, I know. Actually, in our "moving beyond BC" class half of the women mentioned how some friends "fade away" from the cancer.

    I easily release the old and make way for the new...

  • BarbaraJo50
    BarbaraJo50 Member Posts: 108
    edited June 2012

    kltb,

    My thought...you can't make someone love you.

    Either they do or they don't.

  • riley702
    riley702 Member Posts: 1,600
    edited June 2012

    I had a close friend disappear when I told her I had cancer. It hurt a LOT. But then there were other people I expected nothing from who really stepped up and showed they were my friends. I gained more than I lost.

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 16,882
    edited June 2012

    WOW--she's really tuff---but so are u---u'r dealing with a whole lot now and u can be sad--give ur'self the go ahead---but I'm glad u'r getting help if it's depression, meds can help alot --if needed. And that's what u need to take care of ur'self not her, she apparently has some problems going on and she almost sounds jealous because maybe people are showing u kindness and she's not so she took it out on u. Of course it's unexceptable for any reason--u focus on u and who and what is good for u---so do what I do--Chin up, breasts out oops--I guess I don't do that anymore LOL

  • riley702
    riley702 Member Posts: 1,600
    edited June 2012

    LOL, me, neither, camillegal! We can just throw our shoulders back instead of our boobs forward.

  • lookingforward4more
    lookingforward4more Member Posts: 127
    edited June 2012

    Your replies were just what I needed to read tonight. They were like a hug and confirmation that I am feeling and doing what is RIGHT for me. To think that we have been friends since 1980 and I have loved her thru many years of her alcoholism when she was abusive and difficult, and then I got SICK and she could not muster up anything but CONTEMPT for me just hurts so much! I had two good friends that just disappeared when I was diagnosed and that was much easier than what I went thru last week with my "friend".

    I loved the affirmation where I state her name and release her out loud. Things like that help. I realize that I need to cut her out of my life forever because I just will never be able to trust her again. It is apparant that she has found me to be pathetic and at fault for my misfortune. She actually said that I was not fighting to get well and that I did not eat enough vegetables and fruit. She lives 1500 miles away from me and I have not seen her in four years. We talked several times a week but she had no idea about what I ate. She ended her email by telling me that I am a food addict and she knows this because she has a certificate in drug and alcohol counseling (which she has never used professionally). I pondered whether to post this and I am so glad I did. I felt ASSAULTED by her and it feels so good to have your support. My heart is broken but my family really helped me. My two sons who are 22 and 19 wanted to call her and tell her off. My husband just held me while I cried and told me that I am a survivor who is brave and strong. And now your kind and sensitive responses will allow me to stop asking what I did wrong...what is wrong with me...am I really acting like a victim...etc. Now I can reread your posts and remind myself that we are all brave and fighters who support each other. I am lucky to have you all there to help me.

  • riley702
    riley702 Member Posts: 1,600
    edited June 2012

    (((lookingforward4more)))

    Your family sound wonderful. With their support, you can do anything.

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 16,882
    edited June 2012

    I'm glad u found support thru this and u have a great family to help

  • Moonflwr912
    Moonflwr912 Member Posts: 6,856
    edited June 2012

    I am happy your family is there for you. With that support, you will make it through tx. Much love.

  • BarbaraJo50
    BarbaraJo50 Member Posts: 108
    edited June 2012

    I am glad you are feeling better. You are brave and strong.

  • rosetx
    rosetx Member Posts: 121
    edited July 2012

    Focus on what you need to take care of yourself.  Surround yourself with those who are supportive, positive, sensitive and understanding. 

  • Chickadee
    Chickadee Member Posts: 4,467
    edited July 2012

    She is lost to alcoholism? That puts it in perspective. You should move on. Her damaged brain cells were doing the talking, but that's her problem not yours.



    I'm sorry she was able to cause you pain, I'm sure she causes pain to many.

  • nora_az
    nora_az Member Posts: 720
    edited July 2012

    Friends don't act this way, friends do not behave this way!!   I received a scathing email from a "friend" 3 days after my last Herceptin treatment and 2 days after port removal. Apparently she felt I didn't "try" hard enough because I didn't stay long enough for a friend's birthday party. I only stayed 1 1/2 hours. Somehow that equated to I didn't care and I should've stayed out like them till 2am.

    She is now out of my life. You don't need people like that. No one does.

  • Sherlocked
    Sherlocked Member Posts: 46
    edited July 2012

    Arrrgh.....tell her to eff off.  She sure isn't doing you any good and you will always know that she blames you for your cancer.  Just because we were diagnosed with cancer, does not make us doormats. It is NOT your fault. 

    Btw my Mom died too during my treatment....my skin was still falling off of me from rads at her funeral.  It knocks you back a mile - half the time lately I wake up in the middle of the night and just cry. We have well enough stuff on our plates without such negativity.

     (((many hugs)))

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