Extremely Overwhelmed - Help

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  • positivenergy
    positivenergy Member Posts: 73
    edited June 2012

    Not to mention my sons who are 20 and 26. They just lost their dad to rectal cancer at 49 years old just over a year ago. My youngest is struggling. Lost my parents a few years ago at 64 and 66 years old lung cancer and prostate cancer complications. How do I take care of me when my boys need me? Overtired now I'm sure. Night.

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  • Beckers
    Beckers Member Posts: 1,883
    edited June 2012

    Try to get some rest. I too cannot sleep tonight. Give it to God for tonight so you can work tomorrow. Prayers for you...gnite.

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  • LAstar
    LAstar Member Posts: 1,574
    edited June 2012

    Positiveenergy, I hope you are getting some rest tonight. It is all so much to digest & so overwhelming. I found it better to focus on specific tasks each day (look up references on specific issues or schedule certain appointments, for example) rather than just aimlessly spend my day researching on the internet & getting nothing else done. When I could focus on work, it was a refuge to take my mind off bc and to feel productive. Exercise is extremely helpful to burn off adrenaline & anxiety and replace it with that wonderful sense of well-being that only endorphins can give! Plus, it will help you sleep and nothing will work quite right without that. One of the important things that I learned from these discussion boards is that the treatment for bc is a process, sometimes a long process. Take care of yourself so that you can retain the info, make informed decisions, get work done, and support your sons through this. You might just come through this feeling stronger than ever. Best wishes to you on this journey!

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  • rtnyc
    rtnyc Member Posts: 155
    edited June 2012

    Positive...it is ahorrible time and we've been there and done that. Take your time. As everyone said you need to make a decision based on facts. Get the biopsy done first mine came back with dcis right and some weird vascular something on left.when making the decision my bs spent almost two hours with me reviewing options, most recent research, Chances of recurrance if lump or mx etc etc. at the end of it when I said I am leaning toward mastectomy she asked me "if you go with mastectomy and the pathology report comes back that you did not have any other cancer will you regret having the MX". For me based on the biopsys 5of them, family history, having biopsy 8years ago,my answer was no I would not regret it. That one question was the most important one I had to ask myself. I am 8weeks out of surgery path came back with no other cancer but LCis high risk areas all over both sides which just reconfirmed my decision. Take your time, find the best doctors and be sure you trust them if not sure go meet with another it's ok. I changed bs after by biopsy that's ok too. At the end of the day you will make the right choices for you and that's what it's all about. Good luck

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  • Shayne
    Shayne Member Posts: 1,500
    edited June 2012

    LAstar and rtnyc both gave wise advice!  Get all the info with biopsies before you start worrying about the future.  I hope you have a support system besides your sons to get you thru this.  Please keep us posted.....youre in my thoughts and prayers!

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  • positivenergy
    positivenergy Member Posts: 73
    edited June 2012

    Shayne:  I let it get the best of me today and did not go to work, but I am using this time wisely and taking care of me.  I am digging deep for my strength as someone suggested last night.  I do have 3 wonderful sisters and some amazing friends.  I also have a church family that is praying for me.  So, I have the back up, it's just a matter of getting the rest I need to stay mentally strong. 

    I am trying to take advantage of feeling healthy and whole right now because I feel like I am going to travel through a whole new place after surgery.  thanks so much for your support.  It means a lot.

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  • bdavis
    bdavis Member Posts: 6,201
    edited June 2012

    Positive... You have to know that THIS is the hardest time when dealing with cancer. When you don't have a plan and unsure of your diagnosis it is the hardest. So have faith that things will improve... And the odds are with you that it will just be DCIS which once removed, is gone. I am a stage IIa and still feel fortunate compared to some who get grim diagnoses... follow your name and stay positive. I know its hard, but you will be fine... And your boys will be fine. They have each other to lean on right now, so you need to concentrate on YOU. You have had a rough couple of years and they are stressful, and I believe that stress plays a role in our cancer rearing its ugly head... so breath and relax... it will all be fine.

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  • positivenergy
    positivenergy Member Posts: 73
    edited June 2012

    bdavis:  This is just what I needed to hear, right at the right time, thank you so much.  How are you doing today, you have been through a lot.

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  • bdavis
    bdavis Member Posts: 6,201
    edited June 2012

    Positive... I am doing well... It has been a year and a half since my diagnosis and I can honestly say that the worst part was the waiting to find out what I had and what was I going to do about it stage.. Chemo, surgery, all of that was difficult in its own way, but not emotionally difficult. And I worked fulltime thru chemo with very few problems... Today, I am active, going to the gym 3-4 times a week (Zumba, Spin....) and look and feel great. One step at a time, but do have faith that it will improve exponentially once you have a plan in place.

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  • Shayne
    Shayne Member Posts: 1,500
    edited June 2012

    positivenergy - its ok to have a day where it gets the best of you.  You need those days....give yourself those days.  And just know, youll be fine, no matter what the dx turns out to be.  Youll deal with it then.  I feel that strength from you, just reading your posts.....I hope you get the info you need soon to get thru this hard time......itll pass, and youll have your power back soon!!  much love!!

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  • positivenergy
    positivenergy Member Posts: 73
    edited June 2012

    Apparently, the MRI shows a 5 cm DCIS on the left, when I was told before it was .8 mm.  And, .7 mm mass, whatever that might be, on the right.  My question is, how does a mamogram miss a 5 cm, or a .8 mm DCIS tumor in the first place????  The oncology nurse could not seem to explain that to me.  I will ask the surgeon.  Now, WAITING, again, they can't get me in for a biopsy of the right breast until Tuesday, then the holiday and wait for results, then wait for appointment with surgeon.  I really don't understand how my life went from good, to ok gotta deal with this, to OMG keeps getting worse in such a short period of time.   But, TODAY, I feel pretty good considering - looking pretty good to if I must say myself.  Thanks so much for your continued support and if anyone can shed light on the question about the mamo, I'd appreciate that.

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  • LAstar
    LAstar Member Posts: 1,574
    edited June 2012

    Micro-calcifications from DCIS show up on mammograms. DCIS that has not yet produced micro-calcifications will not be visible on a mammogram but can be detected with higher frequency with MRI.  I think that it is fantastic that you have the information from the MRI before the surgery.  It will be helpful in determining the extent of the DCIS before you have surgery.  No one recommended an MRI to me, and it is a better tool for assessing the extent of high-grade DCIS.  Based on information linked on this site, I requested an MRI and it showed that the DCIS was much more extensive than the mammogram indicated.  I had a lumpectomy and re-excision with unclear margins then a BMX almost 2 weeks ago.  Perhaps I would have skipped the first two unnecessary surgeries if I'd had the information from the MRI first.  You are getting a more complete picture of the extent of the DCIS before your lumpectomy and that will give you a much better chance of getting clean margins.  If I were you, I would feel relief that your care providers are being so thorough before surgery.  Best wishes!

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  • positivenergy
    positivenergy Member Posts: 73
    edited June 2012

    Oh LAstar thank you so much for responding.  How are you doing, only 2 weeks out of surgery? 

    What are micro-calcifications?  The size went from .8 mm with the ultrasound to 5 cm on the MRI, it just seemed weird it changed so drastically.  I am not so sure a lumpectomy will still be on the table with such a large mass????  I guess the big quesion is what is it they are seeing on the right.

     I am beginning to relax a bit, although still anxious, but I now want more information.  Thanks again and Happy 4th....

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  • LAstar
    LAstar Member Posts: 1,574
    edited June 2012

    Micro-calcifications are calcium deposits.  I'm assuming that is what was seen but maybe not!  I'm sory if I've missed some details of your diagnosis.  My lumpectomy removed about 50 cubic cm of tissue, so a 5cm-long mass may not be too large to remove with a lumpectomy.  When they have a good idea of its extent, the lumpectomy process is less like pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey!  I think that the last-minute MRI was an excellent move on the part of your treatment team and I hope it gives you some relief.

    I am doing well post-BMX. It is a lot easier to be at this point, resting and recovering and eating meals from friends than to be doing all the research and making treatment decisions.  Someone on this board wisely said that "DCIS is not life-threatening, it is breast-threatening."  We have time to research and make the right decisions for ourselves without the added stress of fighting for our lives!!!  We don't have to worry about chemo or metastasis when we have DCIS.  The scariest thing I could imagine a few months ago when I was diagnosed was having a mastectomy. Now here I am living it, and I am just happy that I have good health insurance, a great husband, and a wonderful community taking care of me.  I am thankful that it was caught early, and I am hopeful that I will never have to deal with this again.  I totally understand your anxiety -- I have been living it for months!  I want you to know that, even in the worst-case scenario for DCIS, everything will be okay.  I know we DCIS-ers hate it when other people tell us this, but we really ARE lucky. 

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  • bdavis
    bdavis Member Posts: 6,201
    edited June 2012

    Positive... Mine didn't show on the mammo at all... Luckily I felt it or I would have just gone on my merry way.  I agree with LAstar that you seem to be in good hands... getting all the info with the MRi and biopsies... and what they see on the right, may be absolutely nothing... and that is why they will biopsy.  Chin up, this is not bad news... really.

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  • Mooleen
    Mooleen Member Posts: 185
    edited June 2012

    My grade 2 DCIS didn't show on my MRI either. The surgeon was surprised.

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  • 1openheart
    1openheart Member Posts: 765
    edited June 2012

    I was not offered an MRI prior to my UMX.  I had my screening mammo and then a diagnostic mammo which both only showed the two areas of micro calcs in the upper outer quadrant.  The calcs were spread pretty far apart from near the nipple to near the chest wall, so we decided that a UMX would be my best bet.  I would have been pretty disfigured with the lumpectomy.  

    Surprise....the final pathology report reported another area of Grade 3 DCIS in the upper inner quadrant and a large area of ADH in the lower inner quadrant that did not image on either mammogram.  I wonder if they would have shown up on a MRI?

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  • JamieB86
    JamieB86 Member Posts: 397
    edited June 2012

    I had 12 cm of DCIS grades 2/3 none of it showed on mammo or MRI - only a few mirco calcs showed themselves

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  • cailindearg
    cailindearg Member Posts: 101
    edited June 2012

    Nothing showed up on my MRI either, it wasn't until they did the lumpectomy that they found 3.7 cm without clear margins, the mamogram showed micro clacs, my BS was also suprised.

    Now I will have a BMX... LAstar, glad you are over the worst of it. Did you get you're final path result ?

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  • Shayne
    Shayne Member Posts: 1,500
    edited June 2012

    Does anyone think this could be human error?  Meaning the tech running the machine?  When I had my first US, the tech had no idea what she was doing, and had to repeat it - and it was incredibly painful and she took almost 45min!  When I had the 2nd us at a different place, the tech was certified with over 15yrs experience - she took about 5min and it was completely painless.

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  • LAstar
    LAstar Member Posts: 1,574
    edited June 2012
    cailindearg, only DCIS was found & the 2 nodes were clear.  Yay!  Only issue was a 1mm superficial margin that we are going to try to clean up during the Stage II surgery in September.  AFter 4 surgeries, I want to get those elusive wonderful margins!
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  • cailindearg
    cailindearg Member Posts: 101
    edited June 2012

    LAstar, Congrats !! That's great news Smile

    Whats the stage 11 surgery ? will this mean you don't need any rads or tamoxifin ?

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  • LAstar
    LAstar Member Posts: 1,574
    edited June 2012

    Stage 2 is for my reconstruction. Because I had bmx & there were no surprises, no one is recommending rads or tamoxifen. I am actually happy with how all of this came out. I feel that I will be able to out this behind me more completely than if the lump/rads/tamoxifen treatment had worked out.

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  • cailindearg
    cailindearg Member Posts: 101
    edited June 2012

    That's great !! So the 1 mm margin was with the mactectomy ? (sorry trying to undertand )

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  • maize
    maize Member Posts: 184
    edited June 2012

    Positiveenergy,

    I didn't understand exactly what microcalcifications were.

    Microcalcifications: particles observed on a mammogram that are found in the breast tissue, appearing as small spots on the picture.  Usually occur from calcium deposits caused by the death of breast cells that may be benign or malignant.  When clustered in one area, may need to be checked more closely for malignant change in the breast.

    From Breast Cancer Treatment Handbook

    Judy C. Kneece, RN, OCN

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  • LAstar
    LAstar Member Posts: 1,574
    edited June 2012
    Yes, a 1mm mastectomy margin!  I'm sorry if I am being very vague about details.  I'm blaming it on the dilaudid!  Laughing
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  • positivenergy
    positivenergy Member Posts: 73
    edited June 2012

    I'm so happy that you paid attention to your body.  I did that too, nothing showed on my regular mamo, nor my diagnostic mamo.  I just felt like something was not right and they continued with the ultrasound, that's when things started happening. 

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  • positivenergy
    positivenergy Member Posts: 73
    edited June 2012

    Yey.....  It is inspriing to see the results of all the hard work and stress that goes into this disease, thanks so much for sharing AND congratulations!!!  Have a great weekend.

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  • positivenergy
    positivenergy Member Posts: 73
    edited June 2012

    1openheart:  I am glad, NOW, that they are doing all they are doing prior to making my decision.  Thanks to all of you wonderful people and especially whomever said with DCIS you are not fighting for your life, you ARE fighting for you breasts - that was a turning point for me!!!  It's still a shock, but I am ready to get all the information I can to make an informed decision.  At least that's how I feel right now - we'll see what tomorrow brings Laughing

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  • bdavis
    bdavis Member Posts: 6,201
    edited June 2012

    Postive... just know and have faith that whether you get a lumpectomy or a mastectomy, it is not nearly as bad you you may think... I have had both. The lumpectomy was a total non-event. Never had pain, healed quickly and you never knew I had surgery. I then chose to have a MX, and even though recovery was longer, in the end, my result is fabulous. If you looked at my breasts you would never know I had a MX either. The biggest scar I have is from my port (used for administering chemo).

    So either way, you will be fine... just take your time and do your homework.

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