June 2012 Mastectomy

Prayers today

for MMTOMH, that your nodes are indeed negative as suggested by the ultrasound, and there will be no problems from radiation treatment with TEs in place;

for jazlaumir that your margins will be clear this time and minimal side effects from your ALND

for kirwin524 for a smooth surgery and rapid, problem-free recovery.

Anybody hear from 7of9? I hope she's ok....ure in my prayers too girl.

Hi Ladies

I am one wk post op today. Feeling ok fighting the blues i go tom to hopefully get the drains out. All of the posts  are helping alot. I wish everyone well and pray for healing. hugs to everyone.

Laurab 

Greatful33- how can u tell if tissue is dead? Today my skin on left side is green and hard. Maybe bruising but freaky.



GIRLS....MY DAUGHTER HAS LICE!!! Seriously?! This is quite ridonkulous now thank u very much! She was at the hairdresser today and the stylist was all snotty and said, we cannot treat your child as she has lice. She may as well added a gag reflex sound at the end of her sentence and awaited a swift b****slap from me clear across the face after the way she looked at me! Yeah, I looked messy...my hair was "braided" because I tried to "style" my own hair this am...FAIL! And then before I left to take my girl in I forgot to ask somebody to tidy me up....



This has been a day of one thing after another.



So, now I have to try to call my help back in to wash all the bedding and toys, AGAIN! We seriously just did this last month. I think she caught it again from someone else, because our other child doesn't have live, nor did she catch it from the last breakout.



To add to this, I basically had to defend my knowledge to h husband on how to treat the beds n stuff. I was directing him to put the sheets in the plastic bags, bag up the toys n clothes...etc...and he right then n there wanted to fight and tell me im wrong.



Rofl. What can u do? I'm still unable to do silly things like change a pillowcase. I can wipe my own bum though. God help me if I ever needed THAT done and he wanted to argue if it was REALLY necessary!!!!



So, today I'd like to say a big F*** YOU to breast cancer. Another UP YOURS shout out goes out to Satan, the accuser....and a little dash of *hanging my head and shaking it in disbelief* to the snotty hairdresser. Lice is not my fault, but it's now my reaponsiblity...I can do all things in Christ...so...la dee da!

NanG, sorry you have to go through all of that!!!! I will second your F***K YOU to breast cancer, all day every day!

Had oncologist appt today -Found out I was IIb, not IIa.  I was told I was getting FEC 100 and Taxotere, 8 rounds. I get my port on Tuesday, then scans and will start chemo 10 days after that. I don't break down or cry a lot, but I went into the bathroom near where they give chemo and realized I will be sitting in those chairs all the way through Thanksgiving and Christmas and into 2013 and bawled like a baby. At least I can drive and get my drains out on Friday.

This is such a roller coaster journey....some days are easier than others. Seeing the actual room where I will be getting chemo was very very strange.

Kirwin524, holding good thoughts for smooth re-excision, good luck to everyone going through surgeries/treatments.

My3sons - I've been thinking of you and all that you've been going through + worried about your ex-husband.  Did they get your infection in check?  How're you feeling these days. . . your description of that 2nd week was understandable, and I can relate even though I'm on the front end of things.  My BMX is less than 2 weeks out and I'm starting to feel scared and sadder than I had been.

The sad is compounded by some things going on at home.  Do you mind if I ask you something?  You mentioned how supportive your sons have been and it seems they've risen to this and are inspiring you.  I have three sons as well, and I just don't know whether I'm expecting too much - - they NEVER mention my surgery and make it very clear they don't want to hear any details.  It's like this is something I'm going through (with my husband), and they could really give a flip.  The real kicker though is that my oldest son, who has been struggling for several years, ended up dropping out of college and is home now (working, but not doing anything towards pursuing getting his degree and a real career, while all his friend are moving on.. .).  I found him a great counselor, young/positive fellow to whom I thought he could relate, and now I'm finding out that he blames me for whatever bad is going on with him.  We're apparently having a pow-wow at this counselor's office today, so that my son (his brothers if he rallies them) can tell me what a crappy mother I've been.  You know, any other month I prob could have stood this. . . I KNOW the kind of mother I've been. . .quit my career and have been here every step of the way for every need. . . . I just dont' know that I can handle this right now.  My heart is broken.  Forget the stupid breasts - - whatever. . .while that is hard, I feel like I can get through that, but my son(s) rewriting their childhood? Nope.  We have had dthe sweetest famly, and that is all that has mattered to me.  In his time of confusion as he's looking for reasons to blame for his mess, the fact that he's decided to throw barbs at me is killing me. . . especially at this time. 

I honestly don't feel I can go through with this surgery feeling like what I've meant tothem hasn't mattered.  Do you understand what I'm saying?  Maybe I have thin skin right now, and ordinarily might be ready to hold my own. 

Sorry to vent anad go on about this.  Just though if you have almost grown sons you might be able to make some sense of it. 

Hope you continue to be on the mend, and eaxh day is brighter. 

Thanks for any thouoghts -

Marianne

Hello ladies! I am finally on the other side! My surgery got started really late --2pm--but it went well. They only had to take The CLEAN sentinel node! Praise be to God! Got to my room about 10 and tried to sleep. Up and walking this am and will go home around noon! Thank you for your faithful prayers.

Annievan - These sure are life lesson, personal strength training times ... I have to admit there are times when I just want to crawl into my bed, cry and just say to hell with all of this craziness ... if this is what my life is going to be, then I don't want to live it. But then I take a look around and realize there are many reasons why I'm fighting and growing stronger ... beginning with my DH, my sons, my 1st husband & his family, etc... Preparing for my surgery, I was asked to quit a 30 year smoking habit. I was able to pretty much quit (got down to 3 cigs/day), didn't smoke for the 1st 2 weeks after surgery. Then I hit the end of postop week #2 - depression week - and now I'm back to the nicotine habit (hiding it from my entire family ... not good ... I hate lying ... but I don't want to disappoint them) ... UGH. 

As I was preparing for my surgery date, my emotions were like huge waves in the ocean and would change on a dime. However, I don't think I fully realized that I had cancer until after my surgery ... so the fact that you're recognizing these things is GREAT! You're dealing with the grieving process NOW, rather than later like I did/am. You should reach around and give yourself a pat on the back - that takes courage ... something I hid from leading to my surgery date. I might also tell you ... and I'm sure you've read it many times ... the waiting really is much worse than the surgery/recovery. Your mind has time to wander and read  - esp Dr. Google - he's a very BADDDDDDD Doctor - don't take anything he says as REAL - they are just examples and each of us goes through this process differently - even if we have the same DX.  So regarding the fear, anxiety & sadness you're feeling, I think it's a perfectly normal part of the process ... just don't do it alone ... use your DH, your family and/or your friends. Maybe even a 3rd party person to talk to? I've been giving a councilor some thought for myself ... this is some tough stuff we're dealing with. 

My sons have been pretty damn awesome during the entire process (fyi, their ages are 18, 16 and 10) ... I think the fact that my 1st husband was diagnosed prior to me has taught them how to deal with all the feelings a little better. I can tell you, when their Dad was 1st diagnosed, they hit the full grieving process (anger, sadness, rebellion, etc.). Given that breast cancer is a 'female' illness, the fact that your boys are a little 'stand off-ish' doesn't surprise me and it sure does sound like you're doing all that you can to guide them (esp your eldest) into making the right choices. Don't be so hard on yourself - you continue to be an awesome mom! You know, given your eldest age, have you given any thought about a heart to heart conversation & telling him how you're feeling and how painful some of his reactions have been for you? If there's one thing I continue to learn ... it's OK for my kids to see me cry every now & then. 

I had the last of my 2 drains removed on Monday and the infected drain sites have definitely gone down ... so no more "jail" time for me in the near future :-) I've been walking about 3 miles each morning with our golden retriever ... I'm hoping to be back to running within the next 2 weeks ... since I had tissue expanders put in, I need to let them heal a bit longer. I'm also now on a weekly 50cc fill schedule - so by next Monday I'll be up to almost a 1/2 an "A" cup (my original size) - whoot! whoot! We'll see about "B" cups ... I'm OK with small!

My 1st husband and our son just returned from his dream come true trip (funded by Steve Gleason, former New Orleans Saint & now ALS patient) to Italy. It's so good to see them both again and listen to the amazing stories about their trip ... which included mass given by the Pope, mass at St Peter's, white water rafting, hot air ballooning over Tuscany and meeting extended family for the first time. What a blessing!!!! Again, for those of you looking for a little inspiration, please check out Jim's Journey with ALS: http://jimsjourneywithals.wordpress.com/

June Bugs ... keep up the fight ... together we are stronger! 

MMTOMH- YAY for the clear node!!

Prayers with those having surgery today.

Prayers also for all those having troubles with family and loved ones.  I hope they all work out and form a better stronger bond than before.

Also, thanksgiving praise.. yesterday My dr. said all the reports came back that the cancer is gone!  I am free of this disease!  Still have to do the recovery from the surgery, possible rads to prevent reoccurance, and of course hormone therapy so hopefully I never have to go through this again

Many hugs to everyone! (stay cool in all this heat going through the country!)

Jen

Just received final path report.  Can anyone tell me what this means?  I assume I have micromets in one node.  My BS called and now want to do a full AD in two weeks.  I guess they take out the first two fat pads, which obviously, will increase my risk of LE.  On Monday, the tumor review board will also discuss not only the full AD, but radiation after chemo under my arm?  What stage am I?  Stage 1C with micromets or 2A with micromets?  I'm confused with all this other than the fact I need more surgery . . . ugh . . .  What is lymphatic invasion?  I would appreciate all input as now I am freaking out!!!!!  

FROZEN SECTION REPORT

---------------------

1A-D. Two lymph nodes negative for neoplasm (0/2). (JLM)

2A-D. Six lymph nodes negative for neoplasm (0/6). (JLM)

3A. One lymph node negative for neoplasm (0/1). (JLM)

I, Jeffrey Myers, M.D., have reviewed and interpreted the frozen section

material at the time it was requested.

Permanent section confirms frozen section report on parts 1A and B, 2A-D and

3.

Permanent sectons reveal micrometastic carcinoma within the lymph node from

blocks 1C and D. These micrometastatic foci are not appreciated on the frozen

section slides (sampling error).

ASM:ASK   06/27/12

MICROSCOPIC:

     INVASIVE BREAST CARCINOMA (including microinvasive CA <0.1 cm) - WHAT DOES THIS MEAN???

     ================================================================

Type of carcinoma:  Ductal

Greatest microscopic dimension of invasive carcinoma:  1.8 cm (upper outer

  quadrant), 1.0 cm (lower outer quadrant)

Involvement of surgical margin:  Negative

Histopathological grade (Bloom-Richardson):  3

Angiolymphatic invasion:  No

Extensive DCIS:  No

  DCIS > 25% of tumor:  No

  Extratumoral DCIS:  No

Microcalcifications:  Within invasive/DCIS

Nipple Status:  Unremarkable

Hormonal receptors:     ER: Negative

                        PR: Negative

                        HER-2/neu overexpression:  Negative

Hormonal receptors/HER-2/neu done previously (for both tumors).

  See report for accession number:  BE-12-36148

Positive sentinel lymph nodes/total sentinel lymph nodes:  1/6

  Size of largest metastatic focus in sentinel lymph node:  0.07 cm

Positive lymph nodes/total lymph nodes:  1/7

  Highest axillary node positive:  N/A

  Extranodal extension (in any node):  N/A

pT1c(m)  N1mi  MX - WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

MICROSCOPIC DIAGNOSIS:

1. Left axillary sentinel lymph node cluster 1, excision: Micrometastatic

carcinoma (two foci, 0.05 and 0.07 cm) in 1 of 2 sentinel lymph nodes (1/2).

2. Left axillary sentinel lymph node cluster 2, dissection: Four lymph nodes,

negative for metastatic carcinoma (0/4).

3. Left intramammary non-sentinel lymph node, excision: One lymph node,

negative for malignancy (0/1).

4-8. Left breast, mastectomy and additional superior, inferior, posterior and

anterior margin, resection: Multifocal invasive ductal carcinoma (two foci,

upper outer quadrant - 1.8 cm and lower outer quadrant - 1.0 cm), modified

Bloom-Richardson grade 3. High nuclear grade ductal carcinoma in-situ with

microcalcifications. Final margins negative. 

Hi again,

Had my drains out yesterday and felt crappy and depressed all day yesterday.   I felt a lot better today and played outside a lot with my daughter and neighbors while my ILs cooked and watched my newborn son.

I can't respond to everyone because I just don't know all of you well enough yet!  

I think my nipples are kind of gross esp the right one (no cancer in that breast) which bleeds every time it's washed or dressing changed.  And I do have sensation- the sense of some pain in the nipples.  I thought I would be completely numb???? 

lovemysamoyeds:  I too have micromets in my sentinel lymph nodes.  Breast surgeon decided against more surgery but I am getting another round of chemo as well as 6 weeks of radiation, likely under the arm at the lymph nodes as well.  The positive lymph node means a higher chance of recurrence, at least that's my understanding of it.  My oncologist hinted that it's a worse prognosis to have a positive lymph node. 

@lovemysamoyeds, invasive breast carcinoma=breast cancer. I am pretty sure "microinvasive CA <0.1cm" refers to the sentinel node mentioned in #1 under "microscopic diagnosis", and the amount of cancer found is <0.1 cm (Microscopic results say one was 0.07 cm and one was 0.05 cm across).

T, N and M are three characteristics of your diagnosis. T stands for tumor, N for nodes, and M for metastases. Put together they describe what stage you are at, and your doctor can give you more detailed information about the meaning of the letters and numbers that come after the T, N & M. I don't know what the small p at the beginning of that line refers to.

Hope that helps.

cjanet, I have one positive sentinel node with 1 mm of cancer. No radiation for me, chemo maybe. My oncotype score has to be less than 25 to continue with the clinical trial. If it's higher than that I am out and (I assume) will definitely get chemo. If it is lower, I get randomized between chemo + hormone treatment and hormone treatment only....unless I wimp out. Dr F. showed me some data on a website called Adjuvant!online, about recurrence rates in hormone positive, HER2 negative patients with one positive node, chemo+tamoxifen vs tamoxifen alone. I don't have the printout in front of me here at the computer, but there was a noticeable difference between chemo and tamoxifen only. However, I don't think Adjuvant!online separates the groups by Oncotype scores. I found abstracts of some studies at the OncotypeDX website that showed no benefit to chemo if the score is low, but it was a different regimen than Dr. F would suggest if I end up in the chemo group or score >25.

I got my drain out today too, finally after three weeks and one day!

Taismommy- good to see u. Why did ure drains hurt? I have to wait for my path too until july 6! So unfair right?! But I called the office to ask why, and the secretary looked it up for me to see if she could tell me SOMETHING on the phone and she let me know that two of the pathologists have left the cancer center to work elsewhere, plus they are on a rotating vacay schedule it being June/July so everyone's results are taking three weeks. We can wait together k?

prayers today--smooth surgery and TE placement for tbc1222.