sis has stage iv breast cancer w/ bone met- I'm falling apart

My sister turned 48 in January and the last thing i expected was to get a call in Feb.from my beautiful sister asking me to keep a secret from mom and dad.  I said of course, whats wrong?  She said she had been feeling bad for quite sometime but did not want anyone to worry unless they needed to.  I then said, ok, what the &(&($(%# is wrong, you are scaring me, just tell me, please!!!!  I could hear her trying not to cry or let me know that i need to worry but i said nothing just hoping she would get out whatever was going on.  That is when i got the news that she feels bad and has for over a year and that she had made appointments with all sorts of doctors to have herself checked from head to toe, which made me feel better anyway, i dont know why, now.  She had one more appointment and that one was with your obgyn and she wanted me to go with her to the appointment.  I said, of course,i want to be there and i want to go to all other appointments that you have to little lady!!!!!!  She laughted and said it is probably nothing i have had all sorts of test and no one has found anything but i just dont want to do this one alone.  They did not feel any lumps in the exam but they noticed quite a bit of size difference from one breast to the other so they ordered an mammogram.  We went to that appointment in about 2 weeks.  We went to the doc for the results and i was floored.  She had 2 lumps in her right breast, one of them almost 4cm so we cried and cried.  THAT WAS THE WORST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!  We are talking about my BIG sister and until that moment i had never thought about lossing my sister or my brother or anyone else for that matter.  This has turned my world upside down.  

 My sis just said well it is what it is and we will just have to deal with it!  So, on to the breast removal.  That did not seem to bother her as long as she knew she was getting a new boob and that they would make the other one match.  At this point we had been told it was stage II cancer and knew nothing about the rest of the bad news.  So we cried, we shopped for a wig(becasue we had been told she would have chemo) and cried some more.  While in surgery they had to remove the lemph noids under her arm because 3 of them were infected but they said not to worry that usually there has to be at least 12 infected before you have to worry about it spreading.  She woke up from surgery saying that her right arm felt tight or swollen and when we went to the doc for follow up we found out she has lemphedemia,already!!!   They did some scans and all came back fine except the bone scan.  She has a tumor on the T11 on her spine, and i lost it!!!!  I told the doctor that i hated him and that his answers were just not good enough.  I also stated that if i did my job like he did his i would be fired!!!!!  My boss would not except, i dont know, as an answer and neither would I.  He said he was sorry but that he could not cure her that there is a 90% recurrance rate and it would probably recur in less than 5 years and they would just radiate as they find the tumors from the scans every 3 months and i told him he sucks and left the room and went to the parking lot and cried for hours.

I have researched the lemphatic system and learned how to massage her and found the lebed dvd exercises.  I took them over to her and she says that she is just to tired and wont make any effort to help with the situation.  She also has not done any research on her cancer.  She is just sitting there doing nothing, eating double quarter pounders with cheese upsized to large and i am about to yank a knot in her @#$.....  She needs to fight for her life but she seems to not care.  I dont know if this is just a phase or if she is really just going to sit there and let this take over.  

Can anyone give me info on obesity and bone cancer?  My sis is 5ft 4in tall and weights about 250 lbs.  If i am reading correctly her bones can break from just her boby weight but i dont want to tell my sister "hey your fat, move your &%^&"  so what do you know and what can i do to get her to help herself before she is taken over by this!!!!!! 

She has completed radiation as of last Friday but has two really bad burns, one under her arm and one on her neck but she did not really start getting exhausted until the last two weeks so i guess that is better that some cases.  i went to every treatment with her and i see her everyday because i have to massage her and wrap her arm, these are moments that i will treasure.  I have quit my job and made my husband get two jobs.  I told him that if he did not handle the finances and i had to go back to work and leave my sister that i would leave him.......  i will be with my sister everyday that she has left no matter what!!!!  NOW THIS IS THE WORST MOMENT BECAUSE IF SHE DOES NOTHING I LOSS MY SISTER SOONER!!!!!