Who did everything right?

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wrsmith2x
wrsmith2x Member Posts: 410
edited June 2014 in Triple-Negative Breast Cancer

Who among you after you were diagnosed with BC changed your lifestyle and did everything right...i.e., ate better, exercised better, stopped drinking, started taking supplements, etc.......and the BC still came back?

My best friend lectured me the other day about not doing everything I can to prevent my BC from coming back.  Do I want to live my life as happy as possible and do all those things that make me happy OR do I want to change my whole lifestyle and HOPE that doing that will prevent the beast from returning?  I'm kind of pissed that she read me the riot act.  

Your thoughts? 

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  • christina1961
    christina1961 Member Posts: 736
    edited June 2012

    I haven't changed everything and I feel guilty but I have tried to make changes as best I can.  I cut out sugar in my morning coffee and some days I eat no sugar, others I fall off the wagon.  I am trying to walk 3 days a week - my goal is to get to 3 hours a week but the past two weeks I haven't gotten in even 3 days. I am trying to reduce stress but still working 70 hrs a week because I have so many bills.  Sigh.

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  • Hope60
    Hope60 Member Posts: 223
    edited June 2012

    mrssmith2x - I can understand your being pissed at your friend.  It's very hard to hear advice given by those who haven't been through BC, even if its well intended.  I've been on the receiving end of some of that, and it's really annoying.

    My BC hasn't returned (yet) but I still think about the question you raise.  Do I want to enjoy my life, or do I want to live in fear of the beast returning?  I guess so far I've come out in the middle.  I do eat better (more fruits and veggies, less red meat) but I'm not perfect. I do exercise more (I didn't exercise at all when I was dx'd) but not as much as I should. I've cut back on drinking, but I'll still have a glass of wine if I'm in the mood.  I take some supplements, but that's a pretty  easy thing to do.  I guess I feel OK with this approach because my MO always says "all things in moderation" .....it doesn't have to be all or  nothing.  Hope this helps. 

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  • hydeskate
    hydeskate Member Posts: 297
    edited June 2012

    I was dx with Stage IV out of the gate in 2008, I thought about and attempted to cut sugar intake but yeah that didn't last.  Jan 2009 my all my scans came back NED, surgery, radiation a little more Chemo and Still NED Oct. 2009.  The entire time I was in chemo I drunk water but also Sunkist and had all kinds of candy. 

    Knock on wood as of today I am still on a Chemo Holiday and I drink basically Mt. Dew becasue water makes me throw up.  I did however eliminate fast food besides Bojangles or KFC once in while.  

    I will admit me and sugar have been tight since the day I learned how to climb out of my crib make it to the kitchen climb up on the counter and make it to the sugar container and eat it.  I need stocks in Willy Wonka because Fun dip is my weakness.  

    I say enjoy life and do what you feel is best for you, listen to your body and eat what it tells you too. 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2012

    Last year when I was diagnosed I started eating a lot more veggies and drinking smoothies full of antioxidants in the morning. Cancer went away but only for a few months before it returned even worse. I'm not saying healthy eating doesn't help but I think it's more about living how you want to live. It's not always easy to eat healthy do you can't get down on yourself for liking sweets or other enjoyable foods.

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  • Luah
    Luah Member Posts: 1,541
    edited June 2012

    wrsmith: You've raised a really interesting question, and one I grapple with, on almost a daily basis. Thankfully, virtually all of my friends have refrained from providing advice... and frankly, if one of them suggested I hadn't done my best to keep cancer from returning, I'd be extremely pissed.... "walk a mile in my shoes, lady..." I think it'd be a relationship-ender for me.  

    The truth is breast cancer (and even TN) is multiple diseases, with multiple risk factors and a range of potential growth stimulators/inhibitors. There's no magic formula to keep it from coming back - and while I do believe diet and exercise help, there's no point obsessing. In my 18 months, I was pretty strict about a low-fat diet, but I've eased up since and try not to berate myself for a few guilty pleasures. I'm at a good weight. I power-walk or cycle 3-4 times a week, lift weights twice a week. Take a few supplements. Limit sugar and sat fats. But I also like wine with dinner, and I don't intend to quit that. 

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  • wrsmith2x
    wrsmith2x Member Posts: 410
    edited June 2012

    I guess I should clarify a bit on this.  I like to drink.  I have always drank and I like it.  I don't get drunk and I don't have to start my day drinking.  I drink 2-3 drinks a night and more on the weekends.  My drink of choice is Bourbon but I like the occasional wine or beer also.  I am about 50 pounds overweight.  I have done the diet and weight yo-yo my whole life and that's why I am 50 lbs overweight.  That and I eat and drink what I like.  Before I got BC the first time I had dropped 25lbs and had started eating better and drinking less.  And then the beast showed up.  After that chemo and emotional eating (my father and brother-in-law died just before and just after my diagnosis) made that weight come back plus some.  Then when I had started exercising and drinking less again the beast showed up again.  I have pretty much convinced myself that the beast will come back again so I struggle with that question of "living life and enjoying all those things I can" OR doing everything right and not enjoying myself so much.

    I agree that she has no business telling me what to do but I understand her wanting me to stay alive.  

    I appreciate all that you guys have said.  Does what I have revealed here make any difference in what you think?  You ladies are my saving grace.  Thank you all.  Namaste'. 

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  • MNGirlyGirl
    MNGirlyGirl Member Posts: 26
    edited June 2012

    I haven't heard about any correlation between sugar and breast cancer.  Can someone fill me in?  Thanks!

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  • Luah
    Luah Member Posts: 1,541
    edited June 2012

    wrsmith: What you're saying doesn't change what I said; it's your life and your health and your right to choose, and I personally wouldn't react well to a friend reading me the riot act after sustaining cancer treatment. That said, we all know that a good diet, healthy weight, moderate (if any) drinking is good for your health overall (and for BC), so it makes sense for everyone to aim in that direction, and hopefully live and enjoy their lives more as a result. But no one should get "beaten up" over it or made to feel guilty. 

    MNGirly: I didn't mean sugar per se, but consuming empty sugar calories can lead to weight issues and high insulin (glycemic) levels which may contribute to cancer risk (hence the trials with metformin).   

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  • BikerLee
    BikerLee Member Posts: 355
    edited June 2012

    I like whiskey.

    I just had some tonight!

    I probably have about three drinks a week... Usually in one evening.

    This is probably my number one "vice."



    Sometimes, I wonder how I will feel if I do have a recurrence. Other times I think that I was in a really low risk group... So wtf!?!?



    I'm vegan. I'm a bike racer. I am on the thin side... We eat almost all organic... I eat no dairy.... What else? I don't know. Cancer seems to run in my birth family, although I'm quite light on details. What else is there to do?



    Should I live on the edge - never eating those tator tots with friends at the local eatery? Enjoy their company but steadfastly never consume a single item of sugar and/or animal fat? Or should I relax a little... Enjoy eating and drinking with my friends.. And teach child moderation and joy....



    I have no answers. I don't eat candy... Like crappy candy... I do eat super dark organic and fair traded chocolate... I don't do dairy... I will eat smething that has eggs in it though.. ... I love to ride my bike, but now there's evidence that hours of training is not as good as moderate amounts of exercise....



    Turns out, the experts have some ideas... And so I MOSTLY try to live by those recommendations... But I also try to live with joy... Think we have to find some balance and use common sense when making these decisions. I think my common sense tells me to minimize things like highly processed foods and artificial sweeteners and dairy... But my common sense also tells me that sme whiskey and beer with friends is so very very good for me. In moderation.



    As for friends telling me how to live...or that I'm doing it wrong... Or what ever... I try to consider the source. Some of my friends truly have my best interests at heart... But others just have to share their piece of wisdom in order to make themselves feel better - like at least they tried to help the poor little cancer patient - tried to be supportive. Honestly, I think that people who say things like this - it is more about them than about us...



    So, those are my two cents....



    Lee



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  • wrsmith2x
    wrsmith2x Member Posts: 410
    edited June 2012
    Thank you all for your responses. I appreciate them all. I know I need to cut down on the drinking and have already decided to do so. Eating and drinking weren't the only things that make me as "happy as possible" but they do help. I can't leave my job (which doesn't make me happy), and I can't stop my 2 hour commute daily, and I can't stop having to take care of my mother but I can exercise more (which I am doing now 4-5 times per week) and I can cut down on the drinking and I can eat better.

    Beacon800, it is true that all studies I have read have determined that excessive drinking is linked to estrogen positive cancer and I am tri-neg. But I am not going to use that as an excuse.

    I don't want to do this a third time so something has to give. Thank you again to you ladies. Once again you've helped tremendously.

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  • LynnME
    LynnME Member Posts: 35
    edited June 2012

    Wrsmith2x, I have thought about changing my life style since being dx'd. I stopped drinking but think of it every once in awhile. I still don't eat as well as I should, in fact last night was a half bag of cape cod low fat kettle chips and ice cream. I will be changing jobs, going from a full time rehab therapy job to a position in a high school as a speech therapist. Time to slow life down and enjoy it. I have a son who barely sees me and when I start the new job in August will be on his schedule. Life is precious, and old cliche, time is short. If I change everything cancer will still have a hold on me, if I make small changes I have a hold on cancer. I don't know if it will come back, but won't live my life wondering or worrying..try to enjoy every minute. I will live my life for me!!

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  • caperry79
    caperry79 Member Posts: 29
    edited August 2012

    I had super high cholesterol before dx, so have been level II fat free diet for years. I am at a great weight, do not overload on sugar and am basically allergic to exercise! I need to tone-at 50 I hate my muffin top, but haven't kicked it into gear yet. I do take Vit D, calcium, and a multivitamin. Do I worry about what I am doing causing my cancer to return? No. I think we are all predisposed to cancer and I couldn't outrun mine. I try, I really do. Look at all the women who do so much better than me who got this beast. I live my life and get through the bad days when I'm afraid. Finding this site has already helped me!

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