Starting chemo Sept 05

Dear Leanne - All the other wonderfull woman on this board have said it all. While we all have similar fears, we are not in your situation, and can only imagine what you are going through! Like someone said to me the other day - You will be dancing at your son's wedding!!! It has given me something to believe and to work towards.

Marg is righ - Cancer has given us the chance to give our sons the unconditional love that we always wanted to. My son is also extremely trying at the moment, scared of dark and insist on doing everything himself and I sometimes hear myself screaming at him and can not believe it. Nothing I say to myself is making me feel any better, so I can not help with that. I do find though that if he is busy, playing with friends, etc. he is a lot calmer. Maybe the playgroup idea will work!!

Thinking of you!!

Liezel

Leizel& Leanne I deal with children all day & can attest to the fact that kids can wear you out!When you are tired, you get cranky & the ability to remain calm & collected goes out the window. It's perfectly understandable that you are "losing it" with your kids. It doesn't mean that you love your kids any less, it means that you need a break. I also always had a better time dealing with an entire classroom, rather than my own 3 kids. The good news is that they're all grown up now & they are pretty lovely young ladies. Ask for some relief, maybe you can get family or volunteers to help out. Liezel demand it for your birthday gift, no one can say no to the birthday girl. I hope you have a restful and happy birthday.

Marg, glad to read your post, I'll be thinking of you on May 5 and sending prayers down your way. I can't wait to see your new pic, it's so exciting to see my September sisters in full "bloom". I am so proud of you for losing 8.5 lbs-that's awesome! How long have you been on weight watchers? I'm only 1 week into the program & I've lost 2 lbs. I was really good all week and I'm really trying to get more active. Please let me know about your recovery from your ooph, I think that may be my next step. I like your attitude about enjoying every day. It took a little while for me, but I realize that every day is a gift. I also realize that I have a choice in what I do, & who I associate with. I stay as far away from negative people (at work)& refuse to get upset over anything trivial. By the way, most work related "emergencies" fall into the trivial category. I'm so glad to see you're enjoying your new job Marg.

Susan, I thought of you when we took the children on a field trip for a performance of the NJ symphony. It was a really great program, celebrating Mozart's birthday & it was a special performance for the children.

Maxine, Michelle, Peg & Nicole, I hope you're having a great week! I'm always thinking of my September cyber-sisters and keep you all in my prayers. Gotta go run to get ready for exercise class. Hugs to all.. Lynell

I feel selfish asking this considering what others are going through - but I need some extra prayers and positive thoughts.

I went for my follow-up mammogram today - and they found a mass on my right breast this time. (Last one was on the left). I go for a biopsy tomorrow at 8:00 am. I can't believe this is happening. Pray for me ladies.

God bless you all.

Still Hopeful.

Hi hopeful,

Feel selfish? I certainly see no reason for that.

Sending you many positive thoughts.

OH NO!!

Quote:

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I feel selfish asking this considering what others are going through

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This is NOT selfish! You are facing the fear AGAIN and so be assured of my prayers for Friday. And considering what others are going through? We all 'signed up' to the boards and are in this together.

On another thread where Melissa the moderator was aking for feedback on the boards, this is what I wrote:

Although ultimately each one of us fights their own bc battle alone - this site enables us to be alone together. (No one can fight our bc for us, hence we are all fighting alone, but we can do it in the knowledge that others are fighting, too.)

It is great to have a place to come and learn information from people who really know, those at the coalface, so to speak. I can get lots of clinical information on bc diagnosis, treatment, effects etc, but this provides the personal edge. On this site, it is not about the nameless statisitics of medical journals, texts etc, but here we can find the faces and real life effects of our journey.

Here we can find support, inspiration, encouragement : physical and emotional

Here we can vent our anger and express our fears freely - often not possible with family and friends

Here we can make new friends who share with us a bond different to those who live nearby.

Here we can meet people from many nations and know that we are so alike. The majority are US, but there are Canadians, British, Mexican, Israeli, Japanese . . . .and Australian like me!

(If you want to read why other ladies are here, or what they have received from the boards, check the thread:
http://www.breastcancer.org/ubbthreads/s...p;page=0#237132
and know you are not selfish. It is what we all are here for.
I love it hat you are "still Hopeful". Don't let the hope diminish.

Hi ladies

Hopeful- you are most definately in my thoughts and prayers for a benign biopsy result. It really does feel as though this disease just doesn't leave us alone does it? Please keep us posted.

Well today I went in for my chemo and was neutropenic AGAIN so delayed chemo AGAIN. Because I have only had the 1 round of full chemo in the order it is meant to be given (2 weeks on 1 week off) the effectiveness will not be as good as it could have been. It may still be working as something is better than nothing but the rate of effectiveness has dropped. I am obviously pretty upset and found it hard to leave without getting my chemo but am just trying to move on for the week. Unfortunately now my scan will be delayed so won't know if this has worked or not for sure until mid/end May.

Never ends......

On the bright side, we bought a puppy!! It is a golden cavadoodle!!! Which is a cavalier cross mini poodle. Very very cute. No name though! Ideas??

xoxo

Liezel - glad to hear you had a happy birthday.
Life is really worth celebrating, isn't it!

Leanne, I have two grandsons, Jack at 2½ and Harry 4½. Harry currently needs occupying a lot - he just missed school as his birthday is 7 September - cut off date is 5 September. I advised my daughter she would have a tough time with him this year. I agree with Susan's 1, 2 and 3 - particularly 1. Both boys are at nursery school for 2½ days and this gives them a lot of stimulation.

I also wish I could sit on the couch with you, along with Susan (and I am sure the rest of the September ladies would also like to join us) - there you are Leanne, a visual relaxation for you – a vision of all us ladies (with our extra weight) squeezing on your couch with your two little boys trying to squeeze into a space!

Susan how did you get on with the examination of your ‘badboobie’?

Hugs to you all.

Sandra from the UK

Well, I had a thorough exam on Thursday with Nurse Nancy. I took ample quantities of advil before going, but not quite enough.

I was pushed, prodded and kneaded. Nancy then took tweezers [okay this is way too much information] and picked off the radiation 'crud' residue from my nipple. She found NOTHING to be concerned about. [YEA!!!!!]

Nancy believes that my body is finally starting to heal from the radiation, and is reabsorbing the fluids that had filled the surgery cavity. And, this means, I can now feel the surgical site inside the breast. Though I wasn't overly concerned, this is a huge relief. However, the tweezer moments have left lasting discomfort.

It was very cute. As I was getting ready to leave Nancy said "For your mammogram next month, I suggest you take a lot of pain relievers. You are one sensitive woman!"

Another anxiety moment brought to us by Breast Cancer. I DO hate this disease.

Thank you so much for asking. My issues seem so small when compared.......

*susan*

Hopeful -
how did it go?
Any results?

Thank you all for the support! I was in tears reading through these messages - I can't tell you what it means to me.

I am still waiting to hear results. It should be sometime today.

Still hopeful - and thankful to have all of you!

It's benign!!!!! They waited to get the addendum report before they called me with the results. They read the report to me over the phone - NO SIGNS of any type of cancerous tissue. No signs of anything really. My surgeon says he would still like to take it out and get a full pathology - but he and the radiologist are leaning towards it being nothing. I will probably go ahead and get it removed next week. As they say - the only good lump is in a jar!

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You ! We are a powerful bunch aren't we?

Susan, I agree with you re boards.
I also can't change my avatar, can't use colour, and can't add a smiley!

Fantastic about you and Hopeful with good results. Sorry that your checkup was so painful. GRRR! Does it ever end?

Yay hopeful!!! That is awesome!! so pleased... loved the jar comment!

Not liking the 'new' boards either. Hate that there are no numbers as I find it takes me much longer now to figure out what I have and haven't read!

On another note, I am sitting here taking a break from writing out my "what I want" list to take to my solicitor next week. This is a list detailing what I want to happen with my children in the event... yes kind of sad but I am feeling more organised and in control for doing it. I can see a battle with my ex husband over toben ahead so need to be strong for that!! Strangely this exercise isn't making me sad, rather more powerful?? something I can say is done and don't need to worry about if that makes sense.

Oops, gotta go, baby crying!!

xoxo

What good news hopeful and Susan!!! Susan, the tweezer episode sounds very painful! I think for the rest of our days we'll need more than just painkillers for our mammograms. Bring on the Prozac!

Leanne, you sound empowered and much better. Will they try this week for the next chemo or how long do you have to wait. Hope you are enjoying Max! Maybe he will also help to distract Toben and calm him down. How has your ex-husband been through all this?

I don't like the new boards either. I hate it that I can not see the numbers, or that I can not post while seeing the other posts. Chemobrain still very much intact!

Chemopause over though!! Hoorah!!!! It is a pain, but at least it feels as if my body is getting back in control of itself. For more than a year before dx, I felt something was wrong in my body (my GP decided it was post natal depression), so this feeling is great!!

Hope you ladies are enjoying summer. Quite chilly in Cape Town today...