Feeling like your old self after again

Renee53, Hi and welcome.  I've been done with chemo for 5 months and rads 3 months, so I'm a little behind you.  I'm not sure we ever feel like our old self again.  I'm still doing herceptin and am on femara, so I have those se's, but I am feeling better.  The fatigue held on for a couple of months, but I am feeling better now, but will never be the same, but I feel that that's ok.  I got tinnitus from carboplatin that is likely permanent, and still have some neuropathy from Taxotere, but that's slowly resolving. I think all of us suffer from post traumatic stress disorder.  There has been some discussion about that on some of the threads here.  I had steroid psychosis after my 3 round of chemo and all the steroids pumped into me and am still on anti-depressants from that.  But I've had some good changes too.  I no longer take life for granted and things I used to worry about, don't seem so bad.  I used to make jewelry as a hobby and now feel it was a waste of time.  I am happy to have hair again.  My hair came in very curly and I hope it stays that way.  I love the wash and wear hair do.  I am worried about recurrance, and even some who are many years out from treatment have said they still worry about that, so you're not alone.  I hope none of us have to deal with this again.  Best wishes and hugs

 edited to add: You might want to check out  the threads on this forum:  http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/7

It's nice to meet you too Renee53, and you're right this does bring us closer together, like a family.  It helps to have someone to talk to, who knows exactly how you feel.  hugs

Timbuktu, I'm the same way.  Every ache and pain is "Oh,no".  So then I just try to ignore it, cause I realize that it's probably the femara.  I have my bilateral mammogram coming up in August and the closer it gets, the more a feeling dread comes over me.  But I'm grateful for all the treatment I have had and grateful for each day.  Are you from the midwest?  I ask because I grew up in a little town in Southeast Kansas and heard that saying "my get up and go has got up and went" all the time. 

I finished chemo just about one year ago and I finished rads 10 months ago. I am just now starting to get my energy level back somewhat close to what it was before treatments. This second year after my BC diagnosis has been rougher in many ways than the first year. During treatments, I had felt an adrenaline rush and I knew I was fighting BC with all of my might. My emotions took a tailspin when treatment ended. There was too much time to think and I worried constantly about a recurrence. I still worry about a recurrence, but lately I have found myself enjoying life and looking forward to the future while forgetting about BC for short periods of time. Just tonight, I told my DH that my garden was a metaphor for my life. Last year, I did not have the strength to plant a garden. I just let the weeds take over and they stayed there looking sad and lifeless until the spring when I uprooted the old stuff and planted lots of veggies and flowers. Definitely an improvement over last year. Of course, I still have bad days, too. Thanks for being here for me during the good times and the bad.