Need 3rd opinion - Phoenix area RO? Grey Zone

Hello -

 I am in the "grey zone" as to whether or not I need radiation - and I'm finding it's a hard place to be. I obviously want to do everything I can to avoid recurrance, but I'm also scared to death of being irradiated...and the decision is going to be up to me. I've seen 2 Dr's who are both supposedly among the best in town. RO #1 told me, before I even had my surgery, that I definitely needed radiation because I fit the newest model - premenopausal with lymph node involvement. I felt like he wanted to sign me up on the spot, because he was selling radiation! RO #2 was candid and said it could go either way - when I asked her if she would do it if she were in my shoes, she told me that she honestly didn't know if she would do it or not. So, I take that as a maybe. 

Had I been diagnosed a year earlier, before the new "guidelines" it would not have even been recommended for me. My surgeon got a 6mm margin on my 3cm tumor, and I had no extra nodal extension...but the new studies don't take any of that into consideration. I have some major concerns because my tumor was on the left side, and because I had ALND. I also have this very fair Irish skin that I really suspect won't hold up well to treatment (maybe I'm wrong, but I just have a bad feeling about it) The 2nd Dr mentioned that she would consider radiating under the arm only (because I'm worried about heart damage and because my margins were so good), but since then, I've spoken with someone else who's Dr told her that he wouldn't ever radiate under the arm after ALND due to lymphedema risk. Now I really don't know what to do.

 So...is there anyone who can make some recommendations for a 3rd opinion? I'm in AZ and I'm willing to travel to find someone who is honest and won't make me feel like they just want my insurance $?

 Thanks!! 

@ProudMom - thanks so much for sharing. It's funny but, what you're doing, declining radiation to the chest wall is EXACTLY what I asked my RO about the first time I saw her. It makes sense to me. I even discussed it with my breast surgeon...she thought it made sense too. I had 6mm margins and the tumor was nowhere near my chest wall. The RO told me, at the time that it's not something that they normally do, but she would consider it. I went to see her again yesterday, really thinking that I was not going to move forward with the rads, unless she had some additional information for me. She didn't...but she did change her mind about what she would do personally. She told me that she would do it for peace of mind. That really stressed me out and got me thinking again. I was so torn and stressed out at that I forgot to ask her again about the "unconventional" treatment and if she would still consider it. My breast surgeon, who I trust more than anyone in this whole process, also told me that at my age, she thinks that she would also do it. So...I guess I'll  be making a phone call to the RO tomorrow to check into it. 

 How did you do through the treatment? Burns...etc? No lymphedema? 

Now my other dillemma is reconstruction. I finished Chemo on 5/25. I know they like to start rads within 4-6 weeks. My original plan was to have my expanders swapped out for implants shortly after chemo, then start radiation after they healed. The PS's in the area all seem to be moving to the opinion that implants hold up better with rads than do the expanders. My issue is this...I had an infection in my left breast (cancer side) and the expander had to be removed about 3 weeks ago. He wasn't sure if he was going to be able to put it back in or not. If not, I was going to need a flap surgery. Well, now that I think I'm moving ahead with rads, an implant won't be an option anyway. I left a message for the PS yesterday asking what would be the plan for the right breast if I did decide to do rads. He said he would want to swap out the expander for an implant then it would be 4 weeks before I could start the rads. I'm wondering, if because the expander isn't on the cancer side, it he would consider waiting until I'm done. What's the worse that could happen? It doesn't hold up well and I need a flap on that side too? I'm not sure that I want one flap and one implant anyway. Ugh. I guess I'll talk to both the RO and the PS about that tomorrow too.

@dipad - I'm so sorry you're going through this too! I'm surprised that you actually found RO's who said you didn't need it, since you also had a postitive node. Are you premenapausal? Tha seems to be a major factor. Good luck with your decision. Keep me posted!